| how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 8/22/2007 3:22:47 PM | Well, I reckon you don't usually cos it's all subjective this fancying people business, isn't it? Mind you if they tell you to bugger off it's a pretty good indication that they think they're out of your league.
People tend to date people who are on the same level as themselves looks wise. If not, people that looked like Olive from "On the buses" would be dating Robbie Williams lookalikes!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Have you been down the town on a Saturday night recently? lol | |
|
| how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 8/22/2007 3:30:46 PM | I'm not going to get into a heated debate about this BUT...
Examples that happen are:- A great looking woman going out with an ugly man, or an overweight man going out with a skinny lass, or a very intelligent man going out with an uneducated girl, or a rich woman going out with a poor men, or an older woman and a younger man..... yada yada yada...you get the point? Happens all the time..
Box yourself in, and expect a certain kind of partner...that's what you'll end up with.
Not aimed at you Foxy...but when you keep saying ...
I'm sorry but i think some posts are claiming that there are no "better than anyone else" situations, but in my opinion that is absolute rubbish.
Expect some form of disagreement, as luckily we all don't think the same.
You base your opinions on looks alone, but there is soooo much more to take into account than looks.
I understand your viewpoint, but you "rubbish" other peoples posts hmmm. | |
|
| how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 8/22/2007 6:48:08 PM | I think the way this site is constructed has alot to do with the "league" business. Alot of it I think is overkill and unnecessary.
Example -
Favourites - If a woman has 1500 favourites, I move along. If she hasn't found what she is looking for out of all those men (obviously alot of them better looking than me) whats the point. (ie out of my league and probably on this site to waste time).
No Fee's - Because this site is free, nobody has nothing to lose, you might as well wait an eternity to find the PERFECT partner because you have nothing to lose. I'm just a little fish in a big pond and I'm going to be ignored. Again, there are so many time wasters (probably male ones too).
IM's and Private messages - All of the women that I have met get really tired of getting IM's on here from people wanting one night stands. Isn't it possible to remove that feature and just swap MSN's/yahoo ID's? Private messages as well, you send a message, it gets deleted either read or unread. Some of us guys write quite a bit in them and they get heavily ignored. So then you just say "hi" instead and thats not enough. So I don't know what to say on that. All these things can make someone believe "they are out of my league" or again "time wasters".
Non related website arguments -
A woman (I know this is very one sided) would rather date a good looking man with high risk attached than giving anyone else a chance. Since this site is global and there are so many "non desirables" on here, the webmaster might as well just delete them profiles.
I had a little conversation with one lady on here. She said "I don't want to date you because your not my type, you'd know if you saw some pics of my exes". Then closed the window in a big strop. It didn't bother me, she was rather pissed when I told her I met 3 women on here and she hadn't met anyone.
I only get a message once a week, sometimes once a month. But you can guarantee I would reply no matter what. To be perfectly honest this site sometimes makes me feel worse than it does better. | |
|
| how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 8/23/2007 12:10:42 AM |
People tend to date people who are on the same level as themselves looks wise. If not, people that looked like Olive from "On the buses" would be dating Robbie Williams lookalikes!!!!!!!!!!!!!
But they do, dont they? Ok maybe you dont but how many times have you heard somebody say 'bloody hell whats she doing with him' or 'why on earth is he with her, he could do better'. Obviously its shallow people that say this but its still said and believe it or not people do date other people that maybe better looking than them or not as good looking. Its all around us if your not looking at Hollywood where they are all beautiful lovies anyway.
The post that summed this up nicely for me was the guy that told the story of the beautiful air stewardess at the pub earlier on in this thread. It just shows that stunning looks can entice us so powerfully but you just have to scratch the surface ever so slighty to see the real person and the person in that story really wasnt so beautiful was she. | |
|
| how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 8/23/2007 12:28:42 AM | | It's true that leagues are only there when you put them there. There is a couple who I have been friends with for over 12 years, she is 6 foot tall, a stunning willowy blonde, heads turn wherever she goes. He is a 5' 8" non descript, slightly pudgy guy who blends in ( but boy he's wonderful when you get to know him). They have been together for 15 years now and she is still besotted with him and he with her... They constantly have to deal with the 'what's she doing with him?' comments, but they don't care, they love each other and that in the end is all that matters.. Leagues mean nothing unless you want them to... | |
|
| how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 8/23/2007 4:41:11 AM | You can argue all you want. On the basis of getting to know someone from the internet, the leagues exist wether or not you want them to.
Its like shopping in real life or shopping on the internet. In real life you see something you like and you make a instant judgement on the purchase because it might not be there tomorrow. On the internet there is a pricechecker function for alot of goods, so where you might see the product you want, you have 200 other places that do it cheaper and it will be there for an eternity.
I can't believe people on the internet would pick an uglier person on the basis of some quality that is deeper than skin on the basis of one IM or PM. | |
|
| |
| how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 8/23/2007 9:02:38 AM | MSG 84
You can argue all you want. On the basis of getting to know someone from the internet, the leagues exist wether or not you want them to.
I think in the racism topics they call it preference not league….:-)
Its like shopping in real life or shopping on the internet. In real life you see something you like and you make a instant judgement on the purchase because it might not be there tomorrow. On the internet there is a pricechecker function for alot of goods, so where you might see the product you want, you have 200 other places that do it cheaper and it will be there for an eternity.
This is a very good point actually – I can get far more conversations and dates by going and talking to people in work/shops/places I do hobbies because they can see what I am really like compared to other people they chat with. Also I’m not as photogenic as other people on this site – but at least I look better when people meet me in the flesh compared to others who are very photogenic but not in real life…. To give you an example, I have some photos of a pole dancer I took for a magazine and could not believe the photographs I had taken as she looked absolutely stunning but if you met her face to face she was just all the wrong proportions, had bad skin from her diet and so on..
I can't believe people on the internet would pick an uglier person on the basis of some quality that is deeper than skin on the basis of one IM or PM.
Yes this is less likely to occur – it is not impossible but certainly less likely. As I said before they don’t call it a league, they call it preference.
I have to say that I think you are actually very fortunate to get as many emails and dates as you have done form this site - many men on here get none and if a league does indeed exist, you appear to be very high up it. | |
|
| how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 8/23/2007 9:17:49 AM | Well I wouldn't go that far. Most of my encounters with women from this site have been home visits and such (bring a bottle of wine etc). Not a full blown date with all the trimmings. Besides all 3 live within 5 miles of me.
Thanks for the kind words though.  | |
|
| |
| how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 8/23/2007 11:01:52 AM | I think all this talk of "leagues" is a bit misleading. I think the point simply is, that physically attractive ie pretty, slim etc people can pick and choose who they want to go out with, and 9/10 it isn't the overweight, unattractive people they'll be dating.
Yeah, there are always a few exceptions to everything, but personally I find this is the norm. | |
|
| how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 8/23/2007 1:12:26 PM | I think the point simply is, that physically attractive ie pretty, slim etc people can pick and choose who they want to go out with, and 9/10 it isn't the overweight, unattractive people they'll be dating.
The thing is, everyone has different tastes. I've known quite a few lads who always go for larger women who've been athletic good-looking types. I've known very attractive women who have things for speccy skinny blokes & for "chunky" blokes. Generalisations just don't hold water when it comes to what people find attractive. Just because the media tells you that men like skinny big chested blondes doesn't make it so, you know.
As someone else on here put it:
how many times have you heard somebody say 'bloody hell whats she doing with him' or 'why on earth is he with her, he could do better' | |
|
| how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 8/23/2007 1:18:31 PM | I haven`t got that much confidence , but i have been out with good lookings guys which i thought i`d never stand a chance with and have went out with them for a couple of years or so, so never say never, just be yourself and hope for the best x
| |
|
| how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 8/23/2007 1:19:34 PM |
Expect some form of disagreement, as luckily we all don't think the same.
.
I am glad of that. I have been on this site for over 18 months now and have never proclaimed that everyone should think the same.
Likewise. I am not going to sit here and say "oh yes... everyone is right on everything and i will agree" robot style...
You base your opinions on looks alone, but there is soooo much more to take into account than looks.
I dont actually. Please dont presume anything about me.
It is called reality. Yes personality IS the most important thing to keep the fire burning, but a persons personality and sense of humour cannot be detected from over the other side of a room before you have even spoke to someone.
When the initial spark happens, when two people look at each other if they have never met before then it is usually created by how appealing they find each other. That is the truth with most people.
I understand your viewpoint, but you "rubbish" other peoples posts hmmm
And? Isnt the idea of a forum discussion? Or should we all just be sitting at our pcs saying "oh of course looks dont matter. We all fancy other people PURELY on their sense of humour and taste in home decor".
Puuhhhhlease!
I maintain that IN MY OPINION.. (as i have said all of the way through this thread that is is only my opinion), people who do not know each other (as in, their relationship didnt come from an initial friendship) tend to date people on their own attractiveness levels. | |
|
| how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 8/23/2007 1:27:00 PM | I have decided that I am definitely out of my league, so I am not going to ask myself for a date!!! I hope that is ok with everyone else here!!! 
vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv I do that already Vin, and I am rubbish!!!!! haha
Thank you Limping, but I am skint anyway, so unable to pay for all the drinks! | |
|
| how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 8/23/2007 1:32:07 PM | | msg 93 you really must give yourself a chance you never know if you dont try it you will never know you might really get on well with yourself but dont let yourself buy all the drinks | |
|
| how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 8/23/2007 1:32:43 PM | MSG 93
I have decided that I am definitely out of my league, so I am not going to ask myself for a date!!!
You shouldn't rule yourself out - what if you fancy having sex with yourself?
 | |
|
| how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 8/23/2007 3:18:37 PM | Ok Foxy, as i said - i understand your statement BUT...
I dont actually. Please dont presume anything about me.
It is called reality. Yes personality IS the most important thing to keep the fire burning, but a persons personality and sense of humour cannot be detected from over the other side of a room before you have even spoke to someone.
True statement again, but i read your profile and you don't give anyone who you deem to be "Ugly" a chance. So...i suppose you will never find out if the ugly person hs anything else to offer. (Of course...this is entirely your choice!!)
Again...i'm not looking for any fights or to be a keyboard hero...but for you..ugly people are off the agenda - which highlights your beliefs in the looks department. If you're ugly...you have nothing to offer a good looking person...this belief is what you base your opinion on, and how you cannot comprehend how others can.
Anyway..no hard feelings. As you say..it is a forum open to debate and opinion. | |
|
| how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 8/23/2007 4:42:23 PM | For someone who saw his ex wife go from duck to swan, I can assure anyone who is reading this that if you are neglected by someone in the first instant. Its much better than being taken in, falling helplessly in love only to have someone else snatch them away from you later.
At least if your neglected in the first instant, its not your fault. | |
|
| how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 8/23/2007 4:48:14 PM |
but i read your profile and you don't give anyone who you deem to be "Ugly" a chance. So...i suppose you will never find out if the ugly person hs anything else to offer. (Of course...this is entirely your choice!!)
I can understand why you would think that, but my profile is completely ironic and a "laugh", it helps sort the wheat from the chaff as it were.
I do, along with no mingers, state i want someone who changes their pants... If i were only interested in lookers then i would be all smarmy and sweet on my profile 
Again...i'm not looking for any fights or to be a keyboard hero...but for you..ugly people are off the agenda - which highlights your beliefs in the looks department. If you're ugly...you have nothing to offer a good looking person...this belief is what you base your opinion on, and how you cannot comprehend how others can
If you knew some of the men i have dated, been out with etc then you would know that simply isnt true lol lol. I have dated men who have been asthetically pleasing in the classic sense and some men who others would think are actually ugly.
Thing is, i dont take the dating side of this site seriously. I DID for a long time, but now its a thing that if i meet someone then thats ok but i am not on here solely to do that.
I do respect the views of others, i have no problem with that at all. I KNOW there are MANY, MANY people out of my league and i wouldnt approach them. I think my posts have been taken that i am vain, its actually the other way around. I dont have a lot of self confidence when it comes to men and when i speak of people being out of leagues, i am talking about those who are way out of mine
Hope that helps | |
|
| |
| how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 8/23/2007 10:24:13 PM | ok before anyone or everyone jumps on me...if you think a person is out of your league then you have some problems to sort out for yourself...dont go thinking anyone is better than you or less than you.each to their own yeah.everyone has a right to be here and THERE is someone out there for everyone.it's just a case of finding the person that is compatible with you as a person in their own right.we all have ideals,dreams just seek and you WILL find.may take some time but you will be smiling at the end of it. | |
|
| how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 8/24/2007 2:42:15 AM | Who Dares, Wins
I'm with Bam Bam. I've been told I'm out of people's 'league' - that was their perception of me just from a few PM's or from a phone call, and not my view of the situation at all... but if that was how they felt, then there is very little I can do to change that.
It is how they feel about themselves, and being comfortable with the other person.
But the right one is definitely out there 
-M- | |
|
| how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 8/24/2007 3:24:02 AM | MSG87
Most of my encounters with women from this site have been home visits and such (bring a bottle of wine etc). Not a full blown date with all the trimmings. Besides all 3 live within 5 miles of me.
uh huh sounds like 3 great dates to me. You'll have to tell me what all the trimmings is...
OT: You don't know - you can guess at their reply though based on experiences of contacting similar people in the past but hey you could be pleasantly surprised. | |
|
| how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 8/24/2007 5:18:33 PM | Trimmings = Meeting somewhere neutral, reading a menu, eating nice food brought to you on a platter whilst enjoying pleasant conversation.
My meetings were more like -
"yeah, come over, but bring a bottle of wine".. Then talk, have a laugh together... The first one lasted 3 months on a friendship level. The other 2 were one nighters, but not in the sexual sense. I never go for the kill on the first night because i'd like to know if there is a chance of something more than that, if i've already established the right sort of attraction of course.
I was lucky though with 2 of them. The reason they invited me over is because we knew some of the same people. Just never met each as a result of that. Which is weird really. | |
|
Home
login 
