|
|
|
|
|
| |
| |
| how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 8/29/2009 3:35:09 AM | I feel we can inwardly think this if someone is showing more progress in life, but who knows, some times there can be a spark between you and a person, and none of the looks, money etc will matter.
I feel you have to be positive and never look at a situation as a waste of time, until you know for sure.
Some people want the opposite to them selves, you will be surprised!
Try not to be so negative if you like someone, as some times they may be interested. It will not take long to work out, if you get the chance to talk to them face to face. | |
|
| how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 8/29/2009 12:18:12 PM | | If a woman earns more money than me and see's herself as better looking then she is out of my league, simple really. Many people would disagree with me because they don't want to believe reality is the case, which is fair enough, all our opinions are different. I wouldn't want to go out with a reallly rich attractive woman anyway, I'd feel like I was walking on egg shells all the time with her, as she could easily find someone better elsewere. We are attracted to people more in our league as they will less likely be sought after on the market so to speak, so would be more faithful. It's just our instincts protecting us, thats what I think anyway. | |
|
| |
| how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 8/29/2009 1:55:30 PM | | Yeah LankyGit thats what am saying really lol. Think about it, it makes sense doesn't it? Someone who is less attractive feels like they have fewer options and in reality they do, less competition for them, so they are more likely to be faithful. Attractive women have way more options and therefore will inevitably find someone even better than who she is currently with and off she goes, because she has more options and more competition, it's the circle of life I guess | |
|
| how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 8/29/2009 2:00:04 PM | I don't agree Gemini,the 'attractive' person could quite possibly find you attractive.My ex is stunning,she didnt cheat on me or leave me for another guy.I don't think i'm attractive but that doesnt mean that i'm not able to be with a stunner/very attractive woman.
My sister for example was a beauty queen for 3 yrs running,modelled for a further 4 years and has been married to a bloke who really is unattractive (ex boxer with the nose to go with it).She'd never cheat on him or leave him for someone else,more attractive or not.She finds him to be the most gorgeous guy,in her eyes he is. | |
|
| how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 8/29/2009 2:30:47 PM | Well, it all depends on the definition of beautiful/attractive. Lots of things make people attractive, not just the way they look. Surely it's all a matter of personal preference anyway, I've had friends be with partners and go on and on about how stunning they are and I've seen them and thought no. It's what does it for you.
I think there's a difference between saying that you want to date someone as attractive as yourself and having really low self worth to the point where you think someone who looks good won't date you/like you/want to be around you.
That is not only putting yourself down big style, it is making assumptions that people who look good must be shallow. As for "mingers" why would anyone want to be with someone that they looked at and thought I don't fancy you but you are the best I think I can get so you will do.
If someone stunningly attractive looked at me and wanted to be with me, I wouldn't look at them and think they had an ulterior motive, if I liked them and wanted to be with them I would, if I didn't I wouldn't.
As I said, there's a lot more to being attractive than physical features and everyone has their own personal preference. The number of times you hear the statement, women only want to be with good looking rich men, well most of the people I've dated haven't been conventionally stunning nor rich and if anyone has been wealthier than me which probably wouldn't be that difficult, I certainly didn't have a clue when they asked me out. Neither did I expect them to pay for anything for me, I don't go out with people based on whether they are stunning, loaded or look at them thinking what can I get from them.
Nor would I write myself off thinking anyone was out of my league until I gave the relationship a chance. | |
|
| how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 8/29/2009 2:42:56 PM | | Lol he is a boxer, I know loads of women who like boxers because they are "hard" and women like this sort of thing. Theres some things an attractive woman can put up with in an unattractive guy, if he's hard or if he is loaded or famous lmao | |
|
| how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 8/29/2009 2:54:18 PM | do all women like that sort of thing though?
me thinks not
so where the loads comes from is a mystery
liking a unattractive guy because he's loaded hard or famous..such tosh | |
|
| how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 8/29/2009 2:55:34 PM |
Lol he is a boxer, I know loads of women who like boxers because they are "hard" and women like this sort of thing. Theres some things an attractive woman can put up with in an unattractive guy, if he's hard or if he is loaded or famous lmao
Perhaps and this may be a really radical thought, she loves the guy. It would be a really strange world if we all went out with people who were exactly the same in terms of wealth, attractiveness and intellect.
Why would people who are attractive necessarily want to be with someone less attractive just because they had cash? There are plenty of women out there who earn their own money and plenty of men who may be loaded who don't pay for everything, neither should they have to.
To be honest, it's a shame these stereotypes are out there, because yes there will be women and men who want to be with people because they have cash, but plenty more don't. | |
|
| how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 8/29/2009 3:13:33 PM | Well I do live in a less affluent area so maybe women and men have to be that way. You should come round here yourself, nearly every bloke wants to have a fight, and nearly every woman is a mum in her teens, all competing for the hard men of the town, so I guess it's hard to see anything other than my observations when I drive to work on a daily basis  It's a bit like the stone age round here, stuck in the past.
This is a commissioners report for the area, although very old, it's not changed much
Cut and paste from wikipedia:
In some of the collieries the men are paid every other Saturday, and do not return to their work till the following Tuesday or Wednesday. In Bagillt and in the adjoining town of Flint the old Welsh custom of keeping a merry night (noswaithlawen) is still prevalent, and, being generally reserved for a Saturday, is protracted to the following Sunday, during which drinking never ceases. The custom is represented by the clergy and others as involving the most pernicious consequences.
I saw two men stripped and fighting in the main street of Bagillt, with a ring of men, women, and children around them. There is no policeman in the township. The women are represented as being for the most part ignorant of housewifery and domestic economy. The girls are very early sent to service, but marry as early as 18, and have large families.
Women are not employed in or about the mines, but spend most of their time in****ing, or gathering****es on the beach. They have low ideas of domestic comfort, living in small cottages dirty and ill-ventilated, and at night are crowded together in the same room, and sometimes in the same bed, without regard to age or sex. | |
|
| how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 8/29/2009 3:26:39 PM | Lots of people live in less affluent areas though. I do and I haven't noticed hordes of women out there competing for the people who have a lot of money. To be honest, most of the people I see around here who are on low incomes, tend to be with people who also have low incomes. Many people I do know who do have quite a bit of cash have been with the same partner for a long time and have made money along the way.
Of course there are going to be imbalances along the way, or else before we ever dated anyone we would have to ensure that everyone was on the same level of looks, inltellect and pay scale before we could go near them.
And yes there will be people who only date rich people and make no bones about it, but on threads you see so often, all women want this, they want that, they want to only go out with rich and handsome men. That basically is a pile of crap. | |
|
| how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 8/29/2009 3:29:07 PM | strangely it may seem, but I have never gone out to "pull".
The only relationships I have had, I have either met the lady through work, or mutual interests. I haven't ever viewed someone as out of my league as I know nothing about someone until I meet or converse with them on more than a few occasions.
My ex is a stunner, but it didn't work out, however there's 15 years of history and a beautiful daughter , who is a massive part of my life, to say that she wasn't out of my league.
There is only one person stopping themselves going oot (geordie expression)and attaining someone who is "oot of yer league" , and that is the person themsel'
 | |
|
| how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 8/29/2009 3:52:35 PM | Hmmmm poses the question if someone thought they were out of your league would you really want them????
Sure theres a lot of people out there who want a man to have this and that but the only thing im looking for in a man is his personality......can he make me laugh, can he make me happy???
Im sure there are many like this on here too :) | |
|
| |
| how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 8/29/2009 4:44:59 PM |
Hmmmm poses the question if someone thought they were out of your league would you really want them????
The message that comes across when we say someone is out of our league for whatever reason is, I am not good enough and that smacks of crashingly low self esteem.
Everyone can have blips where they feel that their self esteem has dipped but to feel that way about yourself on an ongoing basis, very sad.
It won't be how you look that stops you being with someone who is perceived better than you, it will be the negative way you view yourself. | |
|
| how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 8/29/2009 5:29:13 PM | | Thats all easy to say Pauline but what if someone looks like the elephant man and he has hard a hard time with bad comments? Could you honestly expect him/her to have a high level of self esteem? I always say your self esteem is built on how other people treat you and what they think of you. Someone who is good looking will have had lots of compliments made towards them so they will have more confidence and know they are good looking. If everyone told you, you was ugly all your life would you think you was beautiful? I doubt it, oh and am not saying your ugly by the way x | |
|
| how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 8/29/2009 5:56:47 PM | I can understand what you are saying about people who may not be conventionally good looking getting a hard time. However, you hear of people who are stunning getting the same. I had a friend at school who was stunning, absolutely beautiful, however people were jealous of her, she was bullied terribly to an extent where it took her years to get over it.
I wouldn't say that her self esteem was high, far from it, she was seriously damaged by the way she was treated by other people. Even though she had people literally falling over themselves to ask her out, it didn't make her feel better about herself.
People can be given a hard time about loads of things. I've been through times in my life where I've been called names, some people will pick on what they think is your achilles heel and then go for the jugular. However I think with age, for me anyway, I got to the point where I seriously did not give a toss about what people thought of me or how I looked.
But, I appreciate getting to that point can take some time. But as I said, someone who is conventionally stunning, may know it and may have people who love them tell them, they might encounter a lot of spite along the way.
I don't give a toss about what people think of me, unless they are friends or family, anyone else who makes comments about someone else's physical appearance is just spiteful and has something lacking in their own life. I know it's not easy just to let things go if people criticise your appearance, but if we base our self esteem on how other people treat us and they are treating us like shit, it's going to make for a pretty miserable life.
There has to be a point where we meet people and realise that whether or not they are stunning and we aren't that we have every right to be with them. I think as human beings we can be very good at boosting other people's self worth while giving ourselves a really hard time, like it's almost unacceptable to take a compliment from someone.
Life is tough enough without bashing ourselves up and down the place about not being good enough. | |
|
| how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 8/29/2009 7:26:11 PM | | I think that I don't care if they have a top job earning trillions, If their down to earth and straight down the line like myself then great but if they look down their noses at me well, their not good enough for me! | |
|
| how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 8/30/2009 1:16:22 AM | Everyone looks for different qualities in a potential partner. Some girls are attracted to elements such as money, lifestyle, materialism. Others look for completely the opposite. Its the same physically, people have different preferences.
Having said that, it doesn't matter what you have or don't have or how you look because if you have confidence in yourself, a good sense of humour and have the right balance of being masculine whilst showing an air of sensitivity from time to time then that can go a long way with any girl. | |
|
| how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 8/30/2009 2:06:53 AM |
Lol he is a boxer, I know loads of women who like boxers because they are "hard" and women like this sort of thing. Theres some things an attractive woman can put up with in an unattractive guy, if he's hard or if he is loaded or famous lmao
No,she loves him because of who he is.They met when they were in high school,he didnt box then and still wasnt pretty even then
Perhaps and this may be a really radical thought, she loves the guy. It would be a really strange world if we all went out with people who were exactly the same in terms of wealth, attractiveness and intellect.
Exactly that...Damn the 1 in 10 posts thing!
Gemini,i think you need to gain confidance and then the 'beauties' will flock towards you.Confidance is attractive.
Christ i sound like a woman | |
|
| how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 8/31/2009 7:28:17 PM | I have got the confidence mate, although using this site is slowly wearing it down lol. I have tried everything on here, new pictures, rewrite my profile every few days etc etc and can I get any messages? Nope, I have even messaged ugly women with 5 kids my age who most blokes wouldn't want because of the "baggage" as it's said by some, and even they aren't interested lmao, so now I should be all confident on here and maybe a right stunner might get back to me instead of an ugly one with 5 kids? Na I doubt it. So I decided to just use this thing for fun, totally changed everything on my profile.
I began to realise, part of what it is, I don't want a relationship. I have been pushing women away without realising it. So I'm just on the market for sleeping about with as many people as I can, while am single. One day, maybe in another 10 years time, I might be ready to meet somebody then. Until then, it's freedom, less hassle and doing what I want to do for many more years 
I know some friends who are very successful with women off the internet and when they use here they get the same problem as me. The sex ratio of this site is just appalling. Theres just way to many men competing for to few women. One of the reasons why so many men post topics here moaning they get no replies. To be in the zone, you need to really good pictures and look like some celebrity like David Beckham to succeed on here if your a guy. If your a woman, christ you could look like the elephant man's sister and it wouldn't matter.
Before people say "oh it's all about the personality" well am sorry, your wrong. Don't kid yourselves. You CAN'T get to know somebody on the internet and theres no body language to go with it. It's well acknowledged that over 90% of communication is
through body language. So it's all down to the picture. Thats all people go off on dating sites like POF. Out in the real world, when I actually get time off work, I'm relatively successful with women, although am only average, so are most other people. If your a good looking guy, use plenty of fish, if your not then don't, as any little confidence you did have will be eaten away by women giving you the impression your not worth any more than a dog. Then you will be on the forums moaning you can't pull. Would I recommend internet dating? Would I hell. People need to get back to reality and put their computers away for once. We are heading down a path of isolation doing everything through these god damn things.
I'll still be using here though, cos like I say, I love to come here for a laugh now and again when am skiving at work. I just thing that anyone wanting to find a partner through here is wishing for too much. For a chat and a debate you can't beat sites like POF and facebook, and for that reason alone I recommend it. Over and out. | |
|
| how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 8/31/2009 8:07:23 PM | | wouldnt quite agree it all about pictures. its helps, but everyone knows when u meet the person they not going to look like their pic anyway. depends on what a person is looking for really in life and out of another person....if it common interest, or someone really makes u laugh over something, then a pic doesnt make any difference. Ie i have met many fishermen in their 60s and absolutely no way was i interested in their pic as i already knew i wasnt going to be anything other than a one day friend fishing with them. then u can meet someone for common interest and there is a spark of sorts or an interest and u spend a bit of time of them having fun......but still wouldnt consider a relationship with them. recently i met someone for a discussion on god and demons. i didnt know what he looked like...but i wanted the discussion..i had many a days and nights of good fun with him. but why would i want a relationship with someone who is not working, behind in his child support, living at home cause he cant support himself, and cant afford petrol money to come and see me?????????? at the end of a day when it comes down to a serious relationship a girl wants to know her partner is reliable, dependable, stable, a provider, a carer,.someone to respect.........some men u have fun with......others u marry........just like some guys say..id shag her but i wouldnt marry her...works both ways..... | |
|
| how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 9/1/2009 2:37:14 AM |
So it's all down to the picture. Thats all people go off on dating sites like POF. Out in the real world, when I actually get time off work, I'm relatively successful with women, although am only average, so are most other people. If your a good looking guy, use plenty of fish, if your not then don't, as any little confidence you did have will be eaten away by women giving you the impression your not worth any more than a dog.
Sorry that you feel that it's eating away at your confidence but anyone I've spoken to on here, it really hasn't been about the pictures, how they look or even if I want or don't want to meet them.
I don't look at messages and think you are "stunning" or not and I might or might not message you back and I don't even think at any point down the line am I going to end up dating this person, if you like someone and they like you there's no harm in exchanging messages with someone.
You also seem to be doing to other people what you think other people are doing to you, ie messaging people and doing so on the basis on how they look.
I wouldn't take it seriously enough on here to let it affect my confidence, it's not worth it. | |
|
|
|
Home
login 
