| 3 different dads/moms?
Posted: 8/25/2007 2:46:27 PM | | 1seximama. I am sorry to say.....actually i'm not sorry to say, i would like to REMIND you, that at 20 years old and already a single, unemployed mother of 1, there are plenty on here that would be willing to slate YOU for that. So don't do upon others what you would not be happy to have done upon yourself!!! Were you married? Happy? Stable? when you had your kid. No! you were young and naive, and maybe you learned from that, but others are not so quick to learn. I'm not judging anybody, yourself included, because my situation is far from ideal and not far off your own, but harsh words coming from one who still has far to go before she is qualified to judge! | |
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| 3 different dads/moms?
Posted: 8/25/2007 2:56:08 PM | | hell no. one, things didnt work out, 2 you don't have judgement, 3...hell no. the only thing i would be thinking of is i'm going to be 4. | |
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| 3 different dads/moms?
Posted: 8/26/2007 12:41:56 AM | I am walking proof of having 3 children by the age of 22 1/2 yrs old. I am very proud of my children. I am now raising my children on my own. No family support, no family at all. Me, myself and I (Mom,Dad, and best friend to my children). Honestly it all depends on the situation. Quite bluntly, I would hate to be shund off because I have 3 beautiful children by 3 different dads. That is just not right nor is it fair. You have to hear the story before you judge.
I was 17 yrs old when I got pregnant with my eldest son. His dad disappeared when I was 3 months pregnant with him. I have not seen his dad since I was 3 months pregnant. I have also heard that he was locked up. As he got in trouble with the law.
I moved on and was involved with someone after that and well I got pregnant on the pill and was pregnant with my beautiful daughter and her dad disappeared 30 days before I delivered her.(Heard that he got caught up in heavy drugs) What was I suppose to do. He knew when I was suppose to deliver her. He still has not seen her. Then I got involved with someone else for almost 6 yrs in total. and we got married and we had our son almost 4 yrs ago.(after them telling me it was not at all possible for me to have any other children) We even got married. Then we realized that we have way too many differences. And I raise my children 3 provinces away from my youngest sons father.
So now you say that you can judge me as being a whore, being stupid. I do not regret my children. I do not regret any of the choices that I have made. But this thread made me want to ask.....after reading what my situation is(was) you are still going to stay far away from me. That is fine. but that also means that you have alot of maturing to do. | |
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| 3 different dads/moms?
Posted: 8/26/2007 2:06:58 AM | | hey I have 2 kids by different dads, I was a social outcast in my area and men generally run a mile. But Im breaking the mould cause Im a good mum, and people can see that in me and my kids. So now lol there are only 2 people in the area who dont talk to me, haha but im still the subject of gossip. It would put me off a man, but only because my lifes way too complicated. At the same time, you know a single dad is good with kids and not selfish. | |
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| 3 different dads/moms?
Posted: 8/26/2007 10:03:44 AM | | Why did the OP not pick men who were of good character who would stick around after the baby was born and try to make the relationship work? | |
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Pucks
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Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 31 | |
| 3 different dads/moms?
Posted: 8/26/2007 11:53:46 AM | ^^^^if only it were that easy to sum up.
Sometimes the men are good at the beggining. People do change as well. | |
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| 3 different dads/moms?
Posted: 8/26/2007 12:48:10 PM | I wouldn't run from a guy who had children with different women, at all. Sure, I would get to know him.
You know that old saying "s hit happens". lol
I do believe that people do mature and can change, they learn from their past, also. | |
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| 3 different dads/moms?
Posted: 8/26/2007 3:30:23 PM |  U NEED TO LISTEN TO WHAT HE HAS TO SAY.BUT ELATIVELY A MAN OR WOMAN WITH THAT BACKROUND I WOULD STAY VERY FAR FROM.
HE/SHE SEEMS TO BE A PLAYER
BE CAREFUL | |
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| 3 different dads/moms?
Posted: 8/27/2007 10:02:23 AM | It could be there previous partners than ran off so why blame them ?
I wouldnt date someone with kids full stop.
Too little return on it. | |
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| 3 different dads/moms?
Posted: 9/2/2007 1:56:48 AM | | Ok you made three mistakes or bad choices so is there any one out there so perfect that they haven't made three bad choices in there life. Granted they are big ones but at least you are being honest about them and hopefully learned from them. I suppose you could never tell the truth about the different fathers who would Know if they are not around to prove it. Those three bad choices may the greatest gift in your life if you cherish them and learn from it. Good luck | |
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| 3 different dads/moms?
Posted: 9/2/2007 7:50:42 AM | | hmm im lucky there, my 6 children are all by the same person! but that dont stop people from asking questions and judgin | |
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| 3 different dads/moms?
Posted: 9/2/2007 3:55:32 PM | I'm pretty open to the idea, I just would like to get to know the man first.
My son's father had 5 children by 4 other women before me...but I still gave him a chance.
But then again, no one is the same. That's just me. | |
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| 3 different dads/moms?
Posted: 9/3/2007 9:13:49 AM | i respect her coz most ppl wouldnt luk after there responsabilitys. it doesnt matter how old u r or how many kids u have some ppl sleep around and never get kids.
i have 2 kids 2 different dads but how is the woman ment to no the man will leave her kids or they will seperate,its always been put down to the woman wen its the man that left the kids.
sum ppl may luk at me as not b in selective but i probably slept wid less ppl than the ppl critisising ppl
so basically what ur sayin is if u seperated from ur childs father theres no possible way u wud ever have anuther kid,and there no chance of an accident were u cud get pregnant its not always preventable!
and as 4 dating sum 1 with 3 kids i would as everyone has there own story | |
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| 3 different dads/moms?
Posted: 9/3/2007 9:39:49 AM | First of all, I have 3 kids with three different dads..I am a very respectable person and very responsable...the first child is when I was much younger...not planned and abortion is out of the question...#2 came 4 years later...now I'm 38 and have #3 and still talk to the daddy, but he is 4000 miles away..I have always taken very good care of my kids on my own and what I would find irresponsable would be to abort...Yes, protection was taken but does not always work..
So, for some of you to judge a person for the amount of children that they have with how many partner without knowing them or what they have been through or what type of parent they are, just are very immature and close minded...Taking ones responsability when getting pregnant instead of aborting it, is more responsable.
And when you sleep with a man, you don't know at the time that he is a deadbeat.
As long as the person takes care of their responsabilities, are a good parent and has enought love, time etc to share, then it should not matter how many kids they have, it only matters if they are a good person and if you are compatible...
Good luck to all
PS: if I am still single even though I have 3 kids, It is by choice....LOL | |
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Pucks
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Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 40 | |
| 3 different dads/moms?
Posted: 9/3/2007 11:52:24 AM | "and when you sleep with a man, you don't know at the time that he is a deadbeat"
why not get to the man?
why rush with sex?
you certainly can rule out a lot of traits by waiting and learning what the man is about. | |
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Pucks
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Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 41 | |
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| 3 different dads/moms?
Posted: 9/3/2007 1:05:22 PM | | it makes no difference i was with my babys dad 4 yrs he still uped n left | |
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| 3 different dads/moms?
Posted: 9/3/2007 9:24:35 PM | Ha ha ha....
I am sorry but I must be a serious ****. But when someone tells me they have 3 kids from three separate dads/moms I am think unstable, unable to commit, and way too irresponsible with birth control. Maybe even someone with issues of being alone, that they must be attached to someone to feel okay in the world.
I have five kids, but I was married for almost 12 years and my oldest is only 9. Maybe I'm old-fashioned, but I am totally okay with it. It cracks me up when people are always asking if they all have the same daddy.
Emmy
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| 3 different dads/moms?
Posted: 9/3/2007 9:25:57 PM | My question is why did yu have 3 kids with 3 differant fathers and not have it work with at least one of them? If you did not know them very well, you should not have had sex with them. If he left after it was serious why did you not try to "judge" if he would stick around or not after you had the baby?
OP at your age it does not look good having 3 kids with 3 differant fathers. It is bad enough for a woman in her 30's but in her early 20's??? come on what is wrong with you????
The same applies to men that have children with mutliple women.
Do you not have any sense of committment? If you do and the father's do not then you should have done a better job of screening them before sleeping with them!!! | |
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| 3 different dads/moms?
Posted: 9/4/2007 3:59:35 AM | | no matter the situation every one has a past and 4 good or bad reasons i dont think it should matter at all, i wasnt there in the past so why should it bother me so, its whats now thats important... | |
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| 3 different dads/moms?
Posted: 9/4/2007 6:18:56 AM | I Myself Have 4 kids by 3 different mums my oldest is now 19, iwas with her mother for 2 years and because i wouldn't follow or do what her mother wanted, the girls' mother had her drop me, she wasnt a very good mother and i had custody of her & loked after her .
The next 2 were by the same mother & we were together some time 8years till she died 3 weeks after giving birth to our 2nd child. I was on my own for 4 years till i met my next partner.
with my 4th kid i was with his mother 7 years, but her mother also took a dislike to me as i wouldnt fall into her plans & do what she wanted & because of waht i stood for & represented so he mum put pressure on her to finish the relasonship.
Bu t i will say I have contact with all my kids & do , do the right thing by them..
So twice i had a break down purely because the girls mothers disliked me & put pressure on them to finish it..
So there are usually extenuating circumstances in why each of us man &/or women why we have "many" kids by different partners, sometimes it isnt' the girl/boy we are with but outside influences aswell interfering. | |
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| 3 different dads/moms?
Posted: 9/4/2007 9:23:49 PM | OP:
I'd want to hear his/her story, and definitely take it slow. I knew a gal who had 3 children before she was 18 and then married a guy who wasn't the father of any of them. Last I heard, they'd been married 37 years. Love is unpredictable.
You've got to engage both the heart and mind in big decisions, and ask for discernment. If you take your time and make proper friends (both male and female) life can only get better.
Thomas | |
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| 3 different dads/moms?
Posted: 9/5/2007 5:16:14 PM | So, is it a numbers game?
I have five children by two ladies.
Do all the above criticisms apply to me?
I was married to both ladies (for 13 & 10 years), after the marriages ended I brought up the children on my own, three first time currently two. | |
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| 3 different dads/moms?
Posted: 9/5/2007 9:32:10 PM | | I agree boogiemlc someone with 3 kids with 3 differant men/women would be a liability...especially in Canada | |
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| 3 different dads/moms?
Posted: 9/6/2007 7:23:11 AM | it isnt the irresponsibility that would bother me its the relationship pattern..i am by no means judging the OP simply because i know girls in town here who have just as many kids but arent even raising them..at least shes taking care of them..my issue is with the man..if a guy came to me and said hey have this many kids with this many moms i'd see a red flag..either multiple relationships problems, commitment issues.. its skeery..my sons father was the same way and the pattern repeated in his son..he was with me ..cheating..and stringing along 2 other girls before i found out..his issue? I'm assuming he was afraid to be alone since we had a very complicated situation and were trying at one point to muddle our way through it..i have no place to judge the op either..because i wasnt married when i had my son, i was engaged and 6 months after my son was born he took off, came back, and then i found out he was cheating..
all i'm saying is i'm looking at the pattern to my head its going to scream deadbeat ..thats not to say I wouldnt ask to be sure because I know there are some cases where we tend to lose the ones we love unexpectedly which would of course explain the multiple parent thing..but if i found someone like my ex's father who is now on his third marriage..i would most certainly be very cautious at least.. | |
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