| 3 different dads/moms?
Posted: 1/22/2009 1:15:05 AM | | I agree run away!! My crazy ass ex had one before we meet with a guy then my child and now my ex best friends. Reason she left me was to be with my so called best friend. Now she gets 800 a month from me for child support and the county gets the rest for her benfits. How fare is that? She has two cars and a house. I just have a loan on my house and after paying support and the house payment hardly have money for the rest of my bills. I have to live also. The system is a joke. | |
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| 3 different dads/moms?
Posted: 1/22/2009 2:10:49 AM | i have read through all the comments given on this topic, and i would have thought that if he/she enjoys sex .... as lets face it we all do to whatever degree keeps you comfortable, both parties should have been thinking about contraception a little more, and more so if having had multiple partners..... and already having the responsibility of 3 kids already. a good quote on this topic would be : Don't judge the book by its cover!.... always allow the individual to present their explanation of events, and with that in mind who are we to be judgmental of an other persons relationships.
think back to when you were kids at college, the things you did the people you met and the relationships you had, whether that was a one night stand or long term.
so in conclusion to the topic for me, regarding relationships whether they were OK or went bad right or wrong comes down to contraception.
for the man it should be : Don't be a silly billy get a condom on your willy!
for the woman : if he wont put one on, put it on for him and if he wont do that...DONT do it!
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| 3 different dads/moms?
Posted: 1/22/2009 5:16:21 AM | Hi Op - to be honest, I think that situation would break my brain. It's just too much f*ckery for me. I know the reasons will be interesting and enlightening, but it's just too much potential trouble. I'm a woman, so that would mean the guy has kids with three different women...all women needing financial support for the children, all women who probably have some issue(s) with the guy (I wouldn't blame them for being angry about the situation).
No...no...no...I hope to have a child of my own one day, with a guy who doesn't have any other kids...just my preference. I want that experience to be our first, shared together.
Good luck to all! | |
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| 3 different dads/moms?
Posted: 1/22/2009 5:22:48 AM | "that would mean the guy has kids with three different women...all women needing financial support for the children"
Maybe it is a guy with custody. getting financial support from three different women. Sorry, I forgot that could only happen if courts were fair, but they let women get away with that stuff lol. | |
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| 3 different dads/moms?
Posted: 1/22/2009 5:35:30 AM | Hey freetime -
I know you are the rallying cry for the custodial parent dads out there, and I respect that...but I'm not going to preface all of my answers all the time for both genders...I mean no offense, it's just that I'm female, divorced but never had any children so I was looking at it from that point of view. It is possible in the scenario that the guy would have the kids...actually that's a good possibility these days! I know that dads make great single parents - I've learned that mostly from your posts (and other single dads), but not every response is going to be framed with your experience.
Cheers! | |
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| 3 different dads/moms?
Posted: 1/22/2009 5:43:09 AM | | I got your earlier point and I agree, I would not want a ride on that train myself. I was just trying to make a point too. Sorry if I keep beating that drum, can't help it. | |
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| 3 different dads/moms?
Posted: 1/22/2009 5:44:58 AM | No my friend, beat that drum go go go! I agree with you. I've learned from you, and some of the other single dads on the forums that the custodial process is NOT fair for the men all the time. That they get the shaft.
I wouldn't have known that without your drum banging...so go bang a drum Freetime! :)
Best wishes to you and your daughters! :) | |
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| 3 different dads/moms?
Posted: 1/22/2009 6:08:48 AM | 3 different parents,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,hmmmmmmmm, probably just a little too over the top for me. Even if all maintained close co-parening relationships, and paid support, i would be waiting for the drama to hit the fan.
Now she gets 800 a month from me for child support and the county gets the rest for her benfits. How fare is that? She has two cars and a house. I just have a loan on my house and after paying support and the house payment hardly have money for the rest of my bills. I have to live also. The system is a joke.
Are you serious? im presuming you are a cop? Wow. I was married to a cop and we lived a fabulous life and took care of the kids without a problem. | |
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| 3 different dads/moms?
Posted: 1/22/2009 11:32:42 PM | TO BE QUITE HONEST IT SHOULDNT MAKE A BLIND BIT OF DIFFERENCE YOU DATING,OR TRYING TO GET TO KNOW A CERTAIN PERSON ,MAYBE IM DIFFERENT ,OLD FASHIONED, BEHIND THE TIMES , BUT I WAS TAUGHT TO TAKE PEOPLE AS I FIND THEM ONCE YOU MEET YOU WIIL HIT IT OFF OR YOU WONT.SO HE/SHE HAS KIDS BY MULTIPLE PARTNERS SHOULDNT COME INTO THE EQUASION ITS WHATS INSIDE THE PERSON YOU ARE TRYING TO GET TO KNOW THAT COUNTS . | |
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| 3 different dads/moms?
Posted: 7/29/2009 12:29:32 AM | Wow, there are a lot of people here on POF who have 3 children with 3 different partners.
<div class="quote">Okay be gentle, this is the first time I've posted a new thread. I searched and only found one topic similar, and it was from January. It didn't go very far, so I'm not sure this one will either.
Anyway, would you date someone that had 3 kids by 3 different men/women?
Would you run away as soon as you found out? Or would you hear him/her out and allow them to explain? Would you expect them to explain or would you respect them enough and give them time to explain if and when they feel the need?
How is it really any of our business if they have different dads/moms? Used to, I thought I wouldn't date a guy that had kids by different women. But if he's a single dad he's obviously taking care of them all, which means he can't be that bad of a guy - right? Or am I way wrong?
(And this doesn't necessarily mean the man/woman is a total whore.. those 3 that got them pregnant or that they got pregnant by might've been the only 3 they've ever slept with..)
I'd listen, but I cannot think of a scenario that would make me want to be in a relationship with such a person. | |
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| 3 different dads/moms?
Posted: 7/30/2009 12:46:06 AM | I would have to listen to their story, and unless the exs' were causing problems all the time it really wouldn't matter if the were by different dads ..
I have 5 daughters.
The oldest is 21, she is the result of my 20th birthday. never dated her mom and didn't even know I had her untill she was 18 months old.
My second is 16, she was born when I was 24. Her mom and I were together for 5 years. Divorced because we were running the bars and she ended up cheating one night.
The last 3 are 9, 7, and soon to be 6. Their mom and I were married for 10 years, she found an old friend on myspace and had an affair.
I have custody of all my kids. And have no drama with their mothers, They see them anytime they choose, which is every weekend with the 16 year old and about once every 2 or 3 weeks with the youngest 3.. | |
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| 3 different dads/moms?
Posted: 7/30/2009 10:07:02 AM |
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Somebody delete this loser quickly please.... | |
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| 3 different dads/moms?
Posted: 7/30/2009 10:54:10 PM | i would suggest  as fast as you can and dont bothered with the single mum if thats the case single mums are a waste no future undseriable no nothing guys wont date a single mum with 3 kids to diffrent partners period forget it alot of people will question why the realtionship with there ex partner collapse and it seem odd maybe they are collecting welfare benifets | |
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| 3 different dads/moms?
Posted: 7/30/2009 11:02:04 PM | | too much drama...i have been interested in somebody ...he has four kids three women...i just found it irresponsible...i can understand...two kids and two men...but come on ...there is birth control and the kids need attention and love...having children is a serious topic and unfortunately many men just believe having kids is a sport...they are proud of it...they do not support their kids...and the kids especially males get themselves into trouble..i also blame the women..birth control has beein invented...use it | |
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| 3 different dads/moms?
Posted: 7/30/2009 11:18:30 PM |
oo much drama...i have been interested in somebody ...he has four kids three women...i just found it irresponsible...i can understand...two kids and two men...but come on ...there is birth control and the kids need attention and love...having children is a serious topic and unfortunately many men just believe having kids is a sport...they are proud of it...they do not support their kids...and the kids especially males get themselves into trouble..i also blame the women..birth control has beein invented...use it
DITTO DITTO DITTO! | |
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| 3 different dads/moms?
Posted: 7/31/2009 1:46:53 AM |
too much drama...i have been interested in somebody ...he has four kids three women...i just found it irresponsible...i can understand...two kids and two men...but come on ...there is birth control and the kids need attention and love...having children is a serious topic and unfortunately many men just believe having kids is a sport...they are proud of it...they do not support their kids...and the kids especially males get themselves into trouble..i also blame the women..birth control has beein invented...use it See all of that is well and good, but then you hear a story like looptex1 (above) and you realise that sometimes, just sometimes, there is a bit more to it than that. Clearly a man who maybe exercised some poor judgment at age 20, but also clearly a responsible and loving father.
A salutatory lesson in not being too quick to jump to conclusions don't you think? | |
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| 3 different dads/moms?
Posted: 8/6/2009 9:26:03 PM | | I personally wouldn't do it. There aren't three reasons good enough as to why you brought three kids into this world with three different women that you aren't with anymore. | |
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| 3 different dads/moms?
Posted: 8/6/2009 10:01:54 PM | I would need an example of a woman with 3 children by 3 different men to see what I would think. If I were a guy, I would at least listen to a situation, but I cannot think of a scenario right now, off the top of my head, which I would be able to overlook and date the person anyway,.
Same as above with a guy, looking at if from my point of view.
One thing that would deter me from dating a person like this is the high frequency of break ups. I would doubt they could sustain a long term relationship. | |
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