Why me Free Dating, Singles and Personals

Joined: 8/22/2004
Msg: 26

Re: Why me Posted: 9/9/2004 1:20:28 PM
Yeah, ever since my last relationship, that's how I've looked at dating. A kind of trial period to see how things progress and how well you mesh. I do my best to keep myself from getting too involved too soon and try even harder to make sure she doesn't, either. One rule I've always had, though, is to never, ever say those three words unless I know I absolutely mean it.

Mr. Peanut Butter Cup

Joined: 9/10/2004
Msg: 27

Re: Why me Posted: 9/10/2004 11:18:33 PM
You just haven't found the "one" just yet. Give it time. Relax and quit looking. He'll find you.

Mr. Peanut Butter Cup

Joined: 9/10/2004
Msg: 28

Re: Why me Posted: 9/10/2004 11:28:28 PM
Original post...........

Joined: 8/20/2004
Msg: 29

Re: Why me Posted: 9/11/2004 9:57:43 AM
To the original post... Alarmed, I would chime in with agreement to those who say you haven't done a single thing wrong, you just haven't found the right one yet. May I ask... where have these losers been coming from? On-line sources? Blind dates? Chance meetings?

Joined: 8/30/2004
Msg: 30

Re: Why me Posted: 9/11/2004 11:07:36 AM
All walks of life, and every where, my friends just can't believe it. I have tried everything from internet dating, dating people I have met in social situations, the last one which I made reference to on another thread I met at a singles dance. I am still looking for where that palyer magnet is stuck to me, I have not found any strange lumps yet but, I have a date with a Dr. tonight so maybe he can do some x-rays and find out if it is inside me somewhere LOL

Joined: 8/20/2004
Msg: 31

Re: Why me Posted: 9/11/2004 2:00:44 PM
Makes it hard to discern when the right one comes along huh? They all start to seem like the right thing. I was going to suggest a couple things, but it sounds like you may have gone those routes already anyway.

Hui Ching

Joined: 7/15/2004
Msg: 32

Re: Why me Posted: 9/11/2004 7:52:40 PM
Alarmed, You are a lovely lady. I really felt sorry to hear of your hubby. I guessed you are flabbergasted by those men taking advantage of you and the relationships flopping yet again. I can understand how that is. Women, by nature, are very much into romance and love and we are vulnerable. Guys took advantage the moment they know what we are looking for, they will promise the world, the moon, the sky and after they have what they wanted, they changed and that is exasperating. Sometimes it gets you guessing what goes on their mind, whether they are serious and so on.. Just be yourself, play it cool even if you like the person very much and hope he will be the one you will end up with. Don't show your eagerness and take it slowly as it comes. Some guys get cold feet if the woman is anxious over them and they start to withdraw.. I just want to give you encouragement that you will find someone eventually that will appreciate you for what you are and who you are.. You are still younger than I am and have a lot of time ahead of you.. I will be 50 next year and during the last 15 years, I have gone thru hell with my ex hubby, Im like a living widow, he flirted with many women and life is hell and in those dark moments, I have had some relatinships that dont last and guys played with my feelings too but I havent give up and finally last year. I found someone I love and who love me with all his heart. Our love has many hurdles, he is caucasian in Australia and Im chinese in Singapore. He is six years my junior. Love transcends all boundaries - distance, culture and age in my case.. So what I am trying to say is be patient and you will find the guy who will love you.. you are a nice girl with a good heart and I can relate to you because I am kind by nature. I wish you all the best in finding the one you love.. Best regards, Hui Ching

Joined: 8/22/2004
Msg: 33

Re: Why me Posted: 9/11/2004 10:45:09 PM
Yes, good luck with your search. I know you'll find that guy if you take your time and don't fall for the wrong kind of guy again. Too bad I can't help you out any more than this. ;)

spanish_hottie

Joined: 9/6/2004
Msg: 34

hola Posted: 9/12/2004 12:00:15 AM
i know what u mean but it wasn't a hubbie, it was a best friend of mine i had to learn after that she died of a grand mule seizure and she was highly sick. my parents died and alot of people died in front of me or got killed so look at my advise coloum in broken hearts and be happy ok. or try to be the world will still turn, love ya and adios amigo

Joined: 8/22/2004
Msg: 35

Re: hola Posted: 9/12/2004 12:10:05 AM
Yeah, babygurl, and if a frog had wings, he wouldn't bump his ass when he hopped.

Joined: 8/22/2004
Msg: 36

Re: hola Posted: 9/12/2004 12:13:07 AM
It means that we can't all get what we want.

Joined: 8/22/2004
Msg: 37

Re: hola Posted: 9/12/2004 12:24:22 AM
I suppose time will tell, eh?

Joined: 8/22/2004
Msg: 38

Re: hola Posted: 9/12/2004 12:39:04 AM
Kid? :P

Joined: 8/22/2004
Msg: 39

Re: hola Posted: 9/12/2004 12:43:32 AM
You know I'm just playin' . . . kid.

Joined: 8/30/2004
Msg: 40

Re: hola Posted: 9/12/2004 1:29:41 AM
It went well Baby Gurl, now to see if the Aussie Dr.calls again...Hmmn, wonder if he makes house calls?

jimi77

Joined: 7/13/2004
Msg: 41

Re: Why me Posted: 9/12/2004 7:18:28 PM
I am sorry for your pain alarmed, I think we men have a need to be needed. when a women can do everything and dosent need a man that man feels there is no place for him. It is importaint to us to kind of in a way be looked up to..i know that sounds kinda bad but almost like your hero. not that were perfect or have it all together. The times with a women i felt most in love was not in her pants but when i felt she cared for me as a was. that i was smart, funny, stronge for her and we had that trust that we had eachother backs. I think most independent women push off a man because a man has no place . she can do it all. what does she need me for. just like women need to talk to understand how they feel and don't want a man to tell them what to do but just listen, comfort and maybe hold them. a man needs to be needed. men are like big kids. we have big toys and like to teaze eachother. We cry like kids when we don't get our way. and in many cases need mom to keep us in check change our diaper or spank us LOL. most men i talk to say you got a girl that can cook! or cleans up after herself! or can make things and such that is awesome! . I never her a man say wow she can take care of her self? or she is independent. I was amazed at my brothers wife. when she made him little dinners for his lunch everyday and at christams time made a blanket for a gift. she was taking care of him and showed him love. I know some of that sounds kind of like old school. but think of it marriages lasted back then..they were perfect but they lasted. good luck to you. if i offend you i did not mean to.

Joined: 8/30/2004
Msg: 42

Re: Why me Posted: 9/12/2004 9:03:26 PM
Welcome jimi, now you have created a dicotomy for me, my husband was killed 14 years ago and left me with nothing but 2 kids to support, I heard most men saying they would never go for a woman with kids lest they end up having to support someone elses baggage. So I learned the hard way to do everything for myself, and not depend on, or need anyone else. I lived with a guy for seven years who would not do anything for me, and he too used those same words, they are your kids you support them, so I did because I had heard that same thing from all the other men. I was young and did not know any better. I recently learned that those men using those words were not men but boys. But still the men I seem to attract don't seem to want to feel needed by me for anything else but sex, and I frequently hear men saying things like "I don't want a needy chic" or "she just expected to much from me" The last guy I was with always said he wanted to do things for me, there was some furniture I was going to purchase and he was all like hey I'll put that together for you when you get it, so I went and bought it, brought it home, when he called me later that day I said hey I got that stuff bring your tools I'm cooking dinner, and he says "Can't you put that stuff together yourself." so I did, and I never saw him again, his choice not mine. Now maybe I am a little retarded here, but are men not sending women, or at least me mixed messages?

Joined: 8/30/2004
Msg: 43

Re: Why me Posted: 9/12/2004 9:07:49 PM
I forgot to add, I have always cooked for my men, I have always done the little things that matter, bought them little things, kept myself nice, my home nice, so I really just don't get it anymore. Cofusion.

Joined: 8/22/2004
Msg: 44

Re: Why me Posted: 9/12/2004 9:38:34 PM
Well, some people are just morons. I like being handy. I'm not Bob Vila, but I like doing things for women whenever I can (or for anyone, for that matter). I know a little about cars and do simple maintenence like changing my own oil, at least, whenever possible. I put together an entertainment center for my ex gf (funny you mention that thing about the furniture, alarmed). I think why I enjoy doing stuff like that is because it's the one thing I can do that makes me feel "manly" (though I see no problem with women who do such things, either). I don't like sports all that much and I'm not muscle-y in the least, but I've got some simple mechanical skills that can come in handy every now and then.

jimi77

Joined: 7/13/2004
Msg: 45

Re: Why me Posted: 9/13/2004 3:10:52 PM
Thanks all for the warm welcome. First let me say I am so sorry for your loss. and i understand that you had to do things for your self. and i know plenty of guys that date women with kids. one even married one with 3 kids and had another with her plus had two of his own. It was a brady bunch type of thing. there is a diffrerance between a needy chic and a women that needs you. i think needs is the wronge word there. More like admires you. A needy chic is one that cant do anything for her self and always drags the guy down with the tiny things. one that admires you kind of put you on an equal playing feild and he is the quarter back or lead but not the boss!. if you start a relationship with sex it will die. sex is fine and great but if you found it on that the sex will get old and the relationship will die in time. i suspect the 7 year guy was there for sex and that got old.. not that he did not love you but that it was just sex. i think a realtionship has to be founded on respect for eachother,trust, honesty and intrests. If i am in to shopping for antiques on sunday and that is a passion of mine but she hates the thought of something old and only likes new things there will be a conflict of intrest. the will drive a wedge between us. also sometimes there are two types of women. the sex object and the wife type. the sex object drives a guy wild but i think deep in his heart he knows that type of women will leave and hurt bad and she is not the type i want to marrie. then there is the wife type that has the qualitys that a man says WOW! she seems very caring, a good mom, a great person, i could see myself falling and settling down with a girl like that. I dated a girl once that had NO hobbies or intrest other than hanging on me. I love the attention but hated the fact that she did not have her own thing to do at times. i made me feel like i had to entertain her all the time and drove me nutts. itfell apart because i got tired of trying to please her. she ended up cheating on me and destroying many friendships. I loved her very much but felt i could not please this women. ok that is enuff for now. LOL. i caht more later if any of this made any sence?

Joined: 8/30/2004
Msg: 46

Re: Why me Posted: 9/19/2004 7:02:28 PM
I give up, I think I am going to marry my cat instead!!!!!!LOL

Joined: 8/20/2004
Msg: 47

Re: Why me Posted: 9/19/2004 9:05:25 PM
Oh c'mon! You've got at least two Texans vying to be your suitor! What could be better than that?!

Joined: 8/30/2004
Msg: 48

Re: Why me Posted: 9/20/2004 2:02:43 AM
Being in the same country? LOL

xchuck

Joined: 6/11/2004
Msg: 49

Re: Why me Posted: 9/20/2004 6:02:34 AM
would you settle for the same continent?......hey there love knows no boundaries, you should know that, because your thinking about marrying your cat.lol