|
|
|
|
|
| Not To Be A Thorn In Your Side But I Will Tell You What I Think
Posted: 8/28/2007 8:24:55 AM | Ms. Texas_Transplant,
Username and headline work for me, no concerns in either on. Stats, interests all look legit and positive as well. So for so good.
Your familial pics are well, "interesting". I suspect I know why you chose to include those pictures, and I fully understand why you hid their faces, but all in all, you have to admit it is kind of well "interesting". Truth be told I nearly spewed my coffee all over my lap when I saw them. While I believe I understand what was going through your mind, you would be better severed removing those pictures and using only ones of yourself hon that is all I will say about that.
As for your profile proper:
_./'\._ ¸¸.•¤**¤•.¸.•¤**¤•…... _./'\._
*•. .•* Welcome to my profile *•. .•*
/.•*•.\ ¸..•¤**¤•., .•¤**¤•.*.*/.•*•.\
Very cute and girly, but eliminate the desert of space between the art and where the actual profile starts.
So this is the paragraph I am supposed to talk about me, how do I describe me in a paragraph? I moved to Texas about 1 1/2 years ago from Nebraska. I needed more excitement in my life and was ready for the next chapter in my book of life!! I love to have fun, and hanging with my family & friends. Having a drink once in awhile is alright, I just dont do the bar scene anymore. Enjoy just jumping in my car and aimlessly driving around to enjoy the view and see what Nature has to offer. I am open minded, trustworthy, sometimes to outspoken!, easy going, laid back, out going, and good sense of humor kind of person. I love to watch the sun set, lay out under the stars and be carefree, and watching the sunrise, (all in the same night!) I've been told I smile to much, but I don't see how that is a problem, at least it makes everyone wonder what I am thinking!! I am no goody goody by any means, I have 4 tattoos and I just try to live life to the fullest! I'll give you the world if you allow me to. I enjoy the small things in life that dont come at a large price! Sound like anything you might be interested in, than lets chat!
Okay a few issues. First off this suffer from Wall-of-Text-itis. You need to break this down into two distinct paragraphs. Presently is a rambling run away paragraph that combines the "Who I am" and the "What I like to do" portions of your profile into one massive wordy blob that goes from one concept to the next on a whim. You have some good stuff here, but you need to separate this into two direct and cohesive themed paragraphs.
Likewise drop the "So this is the paragraph I am supposed to talk about me, how do I describe me in a paragraph", "I just don’t do the bar scene anymore" these are done to death, overstatement of the obvious, and don't add anything of real value to what you are saying.
What kind of guy am I looking for? I could say tall, dark and handsome or prince charming. But that's not me. I'm looking for a man who enjoys spending time with family. Must enjoy having childern around. A man who likes to go out for a night on the town, but also enjoys staying home and just hanging out. Basically he must be my best-friend. Looks don't say who a person "Is". If you have any question just ask. I'm an open book (with a few torn pages).Im looking for someone with a sense of humor who can handle my sarcasm. Looking for someone who would like to teach me to dance so I will look like a Princess and not a duck out of water.
In other words I am looking for you!
Again some good stuff in here, and some downright sweet notions, but the paragraph is no concise enough. What I would advise you try and do is take another look at these two paragraphs and literally break them both down sentence by sentence. Take each sentence and put it into one of the following categories:
This is about Me
This is about what I like to do
This is about what I want
This is about the kind of Person I am looking to meet
Random fun facts
Entertainment via Humor or Anecdotes
Once you separate your thoughts into one of these categories fashion a paragraph from them. If the thought you are trying to express doesn't fit one of these categories then put it aside and consider leaving it off.
All in all you have some great stuff to say and talk about, you just need to find a way to focus what you are saying into cohesive paragraphs, and make it more easy on the eyes when reading it. Good luck!
Have fun ;)! | |
|
| Not To Be A Thorn In Your Side But I Will Tell You What I Think
Posted: 8/28/2007 8:53:54 AM | Mr. Sirtodd,
Okay first off why Sir Todd?. Your headline is masterful, given what you do for a living I thought that was incredibly clever. Very well done that. Your stats and interests seem spot on, but a few questions.
You list yourself as a Cook, perhaps you could be more specific. Are you an Executive Chef, Souse Chef, Chef, Pastry Chef, Short Order Cook, Pot Stirrer, Burger Flipper, Butcher, Baker, or Candlestick maker? You have started with a theme, so keep at it, focus on it and have fun with it. Secondly, define "Pagan"? If you are going to put something out of the norm in your interests of a religious nature it might behoove you to elaborate on it a bit more. When some hear the word "Pagan" they can think; "Meth Pushing Biker Gang." or "Sacrificing small animals Naked under a full moon", so you might wish to clarify what you mean by that.
As for your pictures, first thing you nee to do is delete the dupe. I have seen this quite often, in fact just the other day I saw a woman on another site with two pictures of herself. They were both identical except one was in color and the other was in black in white. I have no idea what message that is supposed to send out to people looking at a profile, but to me it simply read as "I don't have any friends to take my picture and this is all I have and I am desperate, so I will just throw anything up here and hope for the best". Needless to say, not a very attractive notion huh? So ditch one of the two pics that are the same, and instead get an action shot posted instead.
Your profile proper:
Cooking for another. Watching a movie, and just cuddling and/or teasing one another. I collect movies, write poetry, photography, fish, and will try just about anything to see if I like it.
Currently I am a cook, or kitchen slave, depending how you look at it. I also have experience as an IT tech, and a degree in graphic arts.
My two favorite areas to visit are Massachusetts and Las Vegas. I don't dine out too much, but I used to love Mountain Jacks in Madison. Sometime I'd like to visit Ireland, Scotland, and Japan.
favorite things:
Color: Green
Food: varied
TV: Little to none.
Movies: SciFi/Fantasy, Anime, anything with a good story.
Music: Big Hair and 80s.
I want to date open-minded individuals, that have a sense of who they are, where they want to go, and what they want in their lives. Someone who can carry on an intelligent conversation, but yet be sensual when the time comes. A woman who doesn't mind having a guy around that knows how to cook. I would love to find someone that shares my spiritual beliefs, or is at least open-minded enough to accept them. I'm a very outgoing person, I'm not sure if I'm looking for any commitments at this time, Just seeing what is out there, seeing if there is anyone in this area that I might be able to enjoy time with. Friendship definitely has to be there and whatever happens, happens.
Just like the last person I reviewed, there is some good stuff to be had here, and some nice sentiments but you need to find a cohesive way to package them. The "favorite things" is a nice touch. You started to elaborate on the Pagan thing, but you got all cryptic and creepy about it when you did so. I suspect I understand why, but if you truly want someone who is "open minded" and this is an important part of your life then it would seem to me that you need to be open enough about it to discuss it in a candid straightforward manner. With this in mind I am going to pass on some friendly advice on that particular subject:
Remember we aren't looking to have people judge us, our dating profiles are not posted so that we can be critiqued by random strangers. Our Dating profiles are designed to capture the attention of the kind of people we would like to meet, and possible date and if all really goes well have fall in love with us. With that in mind, you have to get past this notion of caring about what other people think about what is important to you. In the end the only opinions that should ever truly matter to us are our own, and those of the people who we love or love us in return. All the rest don't matter a hill of beans. You are looking for someone who you will like, and who in turn will like you for who you are. So share who and what you are, and don't worry so much about what those who won't like you for who you are think.
In short, Own Who You Are and tell others about that person. Find a way to say what you have to say in cohesive manner as I suggested in the last review and you will do fine. Good luck.
Have fun ;)! | |
|
| |
| Not To Be A Thorn In Your Side But I Will Tell You What I Think
Posted: 8/28/2007 2:21:17 PM | Hi there thorn.
I take a more organic aproach to my profile.Always in progress, a bit more here and there as i feal I have had a little voting going on but are not getting a whole lot of hits.
I'd ;love to know what you think.
Oh .... do you know how to change the settings in the "who has viewed me" section as the only people that ever show up are local people in my country. I'm a bit of a worldly guy and am interested in people from all over.
Cheers thorn | |
|
| |
| |
| Not To Be A Thorn In Your Side But I Will Tell You What I Think
Posted: 8/29/2007 10:01:25 AM | Ms. juleofyourheart,
How hard is it indeed? I am curious if your Headline has caused you any headaches as of yet from the near-do-wells? It is an interesting headline, but has potential for innuendo. If you are cool with that then no problem, but be careful what seed you sow lest you reap something other than you intended.
Other than the "Captain Obvious" notion that you work, your stats stack up. Interests will certainly attract pub-crawlers if that is your intent, if your intent is to pick up someone who isn't normally picked up off the floor at the end of the night you might want to consider rethinking the interest section. Regarding your Photo section, while one is better than none, 2-3 is ideal and include an "action shot".
About MeHow hard is it...for a woman to find someone that can just be there for friends or maybe just to hang out? Im tired of getting the guys that say they want to hook up then either dont call at the time of the meet or just dont show up. Why waste my time and yours? I just dont understand that.
Im not looking for love, a husband or a father to my children. Im not one that will be your Mother or Wife. Im only looking for some fun(working and raising kids gets kinda boring).
Now that is allot of fecal matter to be smacking some poor guy over the head with as soon as they scroll past your pictures. I am assuming here that you want Men to find what you have to say inviting so they contact you, so why in heavens name would you start of with this crap? I mean all I read here is "Some guys in the past have pissed me off so all you new guys are going to pay for it, and if you can't handle that then get lost"
Read what you wrote again and tell me what if anything positive you see there? Bear in mind this is your first opportunity to express yourself and this is how you go about it? How many do you figure stop reading and click off immediately upon reading "I'm tired of getting the guys who...."
And it doesn't get any better:
Lets go out, have a drink or 3, shoot some pool, darts and tequila.. Im not going to win any beauty contests and yes Im a BBW.. white chick... big tits..lol sorry, wasnt going to post that but it slipped out. If youre looking for sex on the first date, there are others out there for that.. Im actually looking for someone that can blow ... my ... mind.
Are you up for it? Please be over 35(this is a must), taller than me(im 5'8), semi cute and have all your teeth!!!(is that so much to ask??) j/k. Have a sense of humor and we might just get along.
Im not the one to make the first attempt at chatting so drop me a line email or IM on here.
Hope to hear from You soon, me~
Are you looking for a philanthropic benefactor to cover the weekend bar tab or a potential boyfriend? I am sorry hon, but I literally read your profile 3 times and I will be damned if I can glean any single positive notion from it . It is not humorous, friendly, inviting, or engaging. The entire profile reads as nothing but one huge "this is what I think sucks about all the guys I have dated before" essay. Hon there is an old adage; "Garbage in, garbage out". This is a train wreck in need of an accident investigation, in short, a complete rewrite. Sorry but that is what I think. Good luck!
Have fun ;)! | |
|
| Not To Be A Thorn In Your Side But I Will Tell You What I Think
Posted: 8/29/2007 10:31:17 AM | Ms. Lovenlaughter,
"I'm Swimming up stream" while you don't look like a salmon, it is a clever intro and it shows you are willing to put in the effort. Nice Headline. Stats all seem to be in order and accurate as well. Several pictures all smiling (very nice smile too-great pearlies kiddo), none of the smiles seemed forced (that is important), the only thing you are missing hon is your "action shot", otherwise you are batting 1000 so far.
Interests are varied and there are plenty to choose from. Only suggestions I would make is to take the "non-linkable" out of the interest section, and try to incorporate them into your profile proper somehow. Ladies if you really want to see if a guy is actually reading your profile (a lot of women wonder that) the best way to find out it to put something absolutely off the hook insanely curious in your interest section and see if they comment on it in the first 3 emails.
The profile proper:
AM: ENERGETIC, SENSUAL, PASSIONATE, FUN, OUTGOING, FUNNY, SOCIABLE, OPTIMISTIC, CARING, NURTURING, & AFFECTIONATE.
Brilliant!
I really like to have a good time, but I must share meaningful connections with those in my life. So, what we do can be silly, but how we connect has to have some substance.
I have had 2 long-term relationships (17 years & 2 years) that ended in great friendships. My relationships tend to take center-stage in my life, although I have many wonderful friendships and a successful career that are important to me as well. I'm all about being in a loving and committed relationship where we share many laughs and special moments (and almost any moment can be special with the right person), however I also appreciate the time and space to still enjoy some of our own unique interests. It's all about balance.
I am a lot of fun and known to kick a party up a notch or two (only if appropriate - I don't embarrass myself or anyone else). I like to occassionally dress up for a night on the town, but am in no way a prima donna. I LOVE TO LAUGH AND HAVE A GOOD TIME. I am emotionally and financially stable. I plan to "live" my life, and therefore try not to spend too much time planning the future or regretting the past. I don't handle an excessive amount of routine and monotony all that favourably ... I like all of the different experiences we get to have when we're open to going with the flow and not being overly controlling. Most times the detour really is much more scenic.
One of the best "About me" sections I have read in quite some time.
MY FAVOURITE THINGS: travelling (short or longer-term, near or far); special moments between us; day trips or weekends away; being active outdoors; running (I've just started); skiing (even though I'm horrible at it); scuba diving; swimming; camping; cottaging; movies; dining out; brunch; getting together with friends and family for just about any old excuse.
Well put.
YOU ARE: OUTGOING, ACTIVE, DOWN-TO-EARTH, CONFIDENT, MATURE, INTERESTING, CARING & FUN-LOVING.
I am looking for a real man who has learned some of life's lessons and is capable of having a truly loving and reciprocating relationship ... you know, THE REAL DEAL! I appreciate a kick-ass SENSE OF HUMOUR, a healthy dose of CONFIDENCE, an excessive amount of AFFECTION (truly just cannot get or give enough), a balanced SENSE OF ADVENTURE, an abundance of ENERGY, and the ABILITY TO TRUST and be a bit vulnerable. You must be KIND AND COMPASSIONATE with a POSITIVE OUTLOOK and an ability to COMMUNICATE WELL. I am happiest around people who are expressive through physical contact, affection, intellectual and emotional conversations, etc. I respect people who are proud of "who they are" rather than just what they have or what they do. You can be sucessful and have all the toys or experiences in the world ... it will be devoid of any meaning if you are a shallow soul. Again ... it's all about balance.
Very good "Who I am looking For" section. My only suggestion would be to replace the capitalization with normalized spelling and use the bold command instead if you truly wish those words to stand out with out "yelling".
I tend to respond with more excitement towards men who are self-employed / business owners. I appreciate someone who has some control and hopefully some flexibility with their work. And I must confess that it's a huge turn-on to be proud of and cheering on a man who has taken some chances to build his dreams. These are not prerequisites; they're just some preferences that I've noticed. I am very much attuned to a variety of other attractive qualities.
This section while upfront and honest could be taken the wrong way and may turn some men off. If it is not a prerequisite, and is only an "option" that would be nice, why risk putting men off by potentially coming across even remotely "gold diggerish'? If you read the forums here some men are extremely hypersensitive to such things, so why take chances? It would seem to me that in love some things are simply unimportant, in dating they are things to be discussed as you get to know each other. Speaking for myself , I never even bother looking at that portion of a woman's profile unless I am reviewing it to make sure it doesn't look bad.
ABOUT CHILDREN: My fun-loving and nurturing nature is wonderful for children. If you have children, please don't hesitate to contact me as I would gladly make room for them in my life. However, if having a child of your own is of utter importance, you should consider that it is highly unlikely that I will be having any children of my own, because lets face it ... the clock is ticking. I absolutely love children, but am being realistic in that I'm 37 years old ... it could take up to a year or two before my next relationship is at that stage to consider children ... and then next thing you know, I'm nearing 40 trying to have a baby. I am open to the possibility of it happening, but I am more realistically focusing on the options of not having children or adopting (there a lot of children in the world that need a loving family). I am looking for a partner who is willing to consider all of the options with me. (sorry to get so heavy, but it's an important subject)
It was forthright, mature and responsible of you to include this section but it says too much and takes to long to say it. You could have accomplished the same with the following:
"ABOUT CHILDREN: My fun-loving and nurturing nature is wonderful for children. If you have children, please don't hesitate to contact me as I would gladly make room for them in my life. However, if having a child of your own is of utter importance, you should consider that it is highly unlikely that I will be having any children of my own."
I enjoy so much of what life has to offer, but even more so when sharing it with someone special.
...and leave it at that. You don't have to explain yourself or reasons to anyone (leastwise not at this stage of the game), it simply is what it is and that is all that needs to be said. Be confident and not overtly concerned of being judged. Those would judge what is important to you harshly are not worthy of your time to begin with, nor deserving of explanation.
All in all it was an excellent profile, I would say easily an 8 out of 10, so you hardly needed my opinion to confirm that as I am sure you knew what already. I would go so far as to say were we closer, I would probably click the "contact" button myself, so you should be very successful with only a few minor changes. Well written Well done! Good Luck!
Have fun ;)! | |
|
| Not To Be A Thorn In Your Side But I Will Tell You What I Think
Posted: 8/29/2007 10:53:06 AM | Mr. Leigh_Francis,
Okay what the Headline is clever, and might be funny, how about trying something else? Variations of the old standby "Badges? Badges? We dunt need no stinkin Badges" has been so incredibly done to death even Robin Williams ain't gonna squeeze a laugh out of that one. Funny=good , Old Chestnuts=squirrel bait.
Stats are good, and you have 2 out of the 3 requisite pictures, you are just missing the "action shot". so suck it in and give the ladies a gander at the whole package. You know you would prefer to see her from head to toe, so give and you shall receive. You are a music teacher and that is reflected in your interest section, and while what you do for a living is very cool and some woman are really going to dig that, you need to come across more multi-dimensional. You are only going to hold the attention of a non-musician for so long if you have nothing else to offer, so if you've got it flaunt it in your interest section.
The profile proper:
I'm a music instructor/musician and graphic artist.I'm a huge animal lover.I keep fit and take pride in keeping a healthy fisique so I would expect the same out of the person that I date. I love old blues(not that annoying "white boy blues" you hear down in Soulard every friday and saturday night....I'm talking old timey 1920-1940's blues.One man with his old beat up acoustic playing for scraps at the local dive bars,barely making ends meet and probably missing most of his teeth.That type of blues)........ok,where was I.... jazz,rock,classical,industrial,metal,singer songwriter....you name it.I'm a music teacher at a private school in downtown Clayton so that keeps me pretty busy but I'm always looking for someone new and interesting to learn from.
Basically I'm looking for someone who can enhance my life,teach me something new and make me laugh.Someone who can be my best friend and my partner.Kind hearted,open minded,intelligent and funny.Those are just the basics.She doesn't have to be absolutely perfect but just compatible.Hope this sounds interesting.Iv'e had great relationships and bad ones but have always come out of it with a lot more knowledge and for that I regret nothing.Speak soon :)
Okay my friend; while I don't see any thing inherently negative in your profile (that is a good thing), your thoughts are somewhat mixed about and convoluted into a mess (with a lot of grammatical errors according to word perfect). It is like you took the contents of a 3 course meal and slopped them all onto one plate, as such the flavors are all muddied and you can't tell where the mashed potatoes end and the sorbet begins. Also you are continuing that one-dimensional thing I discussed earlier. Surely there is more to you than just the music, there has to be.
Likewise try to avoid using words like "I expect you to..." that comes off as very controlling and some women are going to simply write you off when they read that thinking "you can say what you "expect" to the hand and do it walking because I ain't having none of that". What I would like you to say when you need to express such a notion is "What I would like...or What I would prefer is” but you only make mention of such things if they are truly imperative to you in terms for what you are looking for. People need to stop focusing on what they "kinda want" and need to focus more on what they "really want and is really important".
So in short; try looking at how your profile is written again, and this time try to contain your thoughts in specific paragraphs that focus on "Who I am", "What I like to do", "What I am looking for" or "What I find Interesting", and be sure to avoid appearing one dimensional. Good luck!
Have fun ;)! | |
|
| Not To Be A Thorn In Your Side But I Will Tell You What I Think
Posted: 8/29/2007 11:20:10 AM | Ms. northernchild,
Okay right off the bat you put yourself on the defensive. "Not too brave" is not too good. While the meek may in fact one day inherit the earth, it sure as hell won't get you a date to the dance before the apocalypse, so you need to be strong and confident, and you need to do that from the get go of your profile.
"Courage is grace under pressure." -Ernest Hemmingway
Stats seem accurate but both your interest section and photo sections need to be beefed up considerably. I will leave you to read my thoughts on this in previous reviews, so I am not constantly repeating myself.
The Profile proper:
Hi, no one wants to dance and there is more to me than just that so I am editing my profile. However, if their are some patient men who wouldn't mind a dance or two appel moi svp. More about me, I love to play cards, dance, walk, enjoy intelligent conversations, travel. I am comfortable in jeans or evening gown. Adept with a frypan, paint brush, shovel and have my own power tools. I am friendly, likeable, independent, caring, like to play in the garden. I Love classical guitar, and many types of music. Sorry for me that does not include country or hard rock. Je parle francais et anglais. I have a 20 year old son, a dog a cat all of whom live with me. Your kids are welcome to.
Sorry I am terrified of motor bikes, and would not be caught dead on one. Tried it once, I don't lean into the turn so you would hate to have me ride with you. Plus my nails enbedded into your chest would not make the ride pleasurable for either of us. In the long run we are all looking for a long term relationship, I am not the type of person that can date several people at one time. If long term is your goal, I think you owe the person time,respect and attention. I would like to date for a while prior to making a long term commitment. I am true blue and lookin for u.
Firs thought that came to mind was "Wall of Text", albeit not a particularly tall one. Same problem as the last person I reviewed; 3 course meal on a single plate. First think you need to do is create some paragraphs and organize your thoughts in a way that makes sense and makes the read enjoyable. Secondly, take out the whining, that is never a good thing. Lastly why in heavens name go to such bother to elaborate on an activity you don't like and wont partake in , that for the most part you won't likely encounter in the first place? Am I mistaken in my presumption that not all men and maybe even so far as most men in Canada don't own a motorcycle? Or is it the norm that all Canadian men are sporting 2 wheelers these days?
Hon you started off on a fearful foot and danced all through your profile displaying that with only the occasional '"dip" into the positive, and for the love of God women ENOUGH OF THE BLUE JEAN BALL GOWN/BLACK DRESS NONSENSE . We get it, you all clean up nice, enough overkill of the obvious. Bottom line hon, a rewrite is in order, the prognosis isn't good as it stands. Ponder this please before you rewrite again:
Pg 19 of the novel "Dune" by Frank Herbert
The Bene Gesserit Litany against Fear:
"I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain."
Have fun ;)! | |
|
| |
| Not To Be A Thorn In Your Side But I Will Tell You What I Think
Posted: 8/31/2007 10:07:38 AM | Mr. Paper Dart,
Hmm maybe there is a language barrier, who knows. Isn't Auckland in NZ? I had no idea Auckland was its own nation. Minor quibble though. Nickname and headline seem fine enough as do the stats. Might wish to clarify what a Film Freelancer does. though.
Pics you have 5, good number, only problem being that less than half of them are of you. To be honest I have no bloody clue what significance the other 3 have as you don't make mention of them any where in your profile that I saw. If you are trying to only find those who live in the surreal, then job well done, otherwise I am gob-smacked to figure out what you are trying to accomplish here? If a woman cares to garden, shop for a used car, or find quickie frozen Cuban sandwiches for supper, I daresay her Online dating site is not where she will think to turn first. Ditch the esoteric rubbish unless you are going to explain why they are there, and get your "action shot" posted. If you are going to post pics make sure that at least 75% or more are actually of you.
You interests seem varied, which is good, but again it might be the language barrier but I can't fathom what some of them are, nor can I figure out why anyone would be interested in raining sweat either, but then I am no gym rat.
Your Profile proper:
Hello
You want find me driving in the middle of the road.
Im an Earthy worldly guy who's interested in all cultures.
Love to dance and boogie the night away ng
Music for me is a continuum of sound that is all interconnected. The spikes being differant genres. Some being pleasant,inspiring and a representation of my inner soul.Others being unpleasant to my soul.I am open to all sounds.Pretty eclectic :-)))))
"And my purpose is to keep dreaming.
I am fishing for wishes. Thats where you come in:"
Okay all I got from this profile was "blah, blah. blah, I like music, dancing, blah blah blah". I daresay that you aren't getting allot of hits because nobody knows what the fark to make of what you are trying to say here. You may appreciate an "organic" approach, but unless it's your intent to date fungus, then you best find a more inviting, and concise approach. Go back and look at some of my previous reviews and suggestions for how to go about organizing your thoughts into a way people can actually digest them. Either that or keep fishing for wishes, but bring a good book and lots of bait, you are gonna be at it for quite some time. Good Luck!
Have fun ;)! | |
|
| Not To Be A Thorn In Your Side But I Will Tell You What I Think
Posted: 8/31/2007 10:18:45 AM | Ms. weekendsoff,
You nickname is very clever, as is your take off on the standardized "Must Love Dogs". Well done. Stats are in line, although I would classify you as thin/slender rather than average (based on pics).
You have both "required" shots in your pictures section, but you don't seem to be smiling in either. I would suggest perhaps having a friend or family member take a few nice pictures of you smiling while the weather is still nice and summer, and preferably with just yourself in the frame and not from far away. It will make your profile more inviting, enticing, and more apt to attract more attention.
Your interest seem to be line and there are several to choose from, so lets take a look at the profile proper:
I'd love to tell you exactly what I am looking for. I don't know. I have a general idea -
older, maybe divorced, children, secure in many ways, accepting, trusting.
Like me, but different enough to have interesting life in the relationship.
I think human beings should be compassionate and empathetic.
If it is something you'd love to tell people, then don't muck about and just do it. Fill out this section and go in-depth. One cannot say "I'd love to...." and then deliver something half-arsed. You are on the right track, give it the thought it deserves then bulk this section up.
My plans don't always work out. Library books and movies sometimes go back late.
I like big, old trucks and bouncing drives. Remember when we were kids and no one ever wore seatbelts?
I can't run for very long. Bike rides work best to get my heart pumping steadily and not exploding.
This is all cute stuff but find a way to put it all together in a cohesive manner.
On Saturdays we watch PBS at my house, would rather watch a documentary or Old Yankee Workshop than any sitcom I have ever seen.
No cable, there's nothing ever on. (I do miss Comedy Central.)
My indoor plants grow like mad.
I leave the dishes to soak.
Kids need to build forts and play in streams. Likewise with adults.
Again great stuff, fantastic visuals you are creating but you need to make them cohesive. More focused in a "This is me", "This is My Life" and "This is who I would like to share my life with" kind of way. Do that and you will do okay. Good Luck!
Have fun ;)!
| |
|
| |
| |
| |
| Not To Be A Thorn In Your Side But I Will Tell You What I Think
Posted: 9/1/2007 6:20:21 PM | Hey Thorn,
Just to let you know I have enjoyed on reading your comments on various threads,
you are insightful ,to the point, humorous and unbiased which is very refreshing.
I would be interesting to get your appraisal on my MO.
Thanks,
Jim
 | |
|
| |
| |
| Not To Be A Thorn In Your Side But I Will Tell You What I Think
Posted: 9/2/2007 8:06:42 PM | | Thank you for your comments. You are bang on about the fear, part ... it rules my life. However, I did not realize how obvious is was... (to everyone but me, I guess...) Your poem offer a lot of insights... Thank you. Northern | |
|
| Not To Be A Thorn In Your Side But I Will Tell You What I Think
Posted: 9/4/2007 2:39:20 PM | First I want to apologize to you who have been patiently waiting for your profile review. It was a rather busy and boisterous Labor Day Holiday weekend, and it is just now settling down. So without further adieu:
Ms. Melissa888,
Wow 888 huh? I had no idea this site had so many Melissa’s. "No pressure...just fun ;)" is a wonderful way to start things off albeit being somewhat dangerously close to my trademarked "Have Fun ;)!" (wouldn't want to see the legal staff at Brian_Thorn Corp. get their BVD's in a twist now would we; they are nasty cusses), it is still a great headline nonetheless .
Your stats, interests and pictures all check out great, although you are missing the requisite "action shot". You might also wish to explain the cute "kissy" pic too. Just curious do you wear contacts? If so maybe a pic or two in the contacts would go a long way too.
Your profile proper:
I'm a great girl .. I'm funny, caring, loyal, trustworthy, honest, and extremely sarcastic. I have my own place, my own car, and have my own life that includes my daughter, a great family and an awesome group of friends.
Great start but how about some elaboration? What makes you funny, caring, loyal etc? You have your own life (great thing to have, I highly recommend them), but you might wish to mention that you are looking to share it with someone, hence why you are here.
Some Facts About Me:
~ Being a mother is the most important thing in the world to me
~ I love music
~ I have 6 tattoos
~ I love going for drives, just for the sake of the drive, don't need a destination
~ My sister is my best friend .. very close to all of my family
~ I'm a sucker for reality tv, lol
~ I love fall, absolutely everything about it, it's my favorite season
~ I have 2 cats that are very much a part of my family (but not a crazy cat lady lol)
~ I love to have a laugh, even if it's at my own expense
~ I love to go out and have a good time, but staying in and snuggling on the couch can be even better, when it's with the right person
~ I feel at ease in groups of people, even if I don't know them
~ I can dance up a storm on the dance floor, and not even care when you laugh at me lol
~ I strongly believe in karma ... what goes around will come back around
Laundry/Shopping Lists are a great approach to take and often help one be both more entertaining and to the point. A few suggestions though; 1) Limit the list to no more than 10 things, and no less than 5 things, 2) Make sure what you have to say is 100% about just you specifically and doesn't involve anyone else (your sister, family, boss, ex-husband etc), and 3) If you are going to have a section about yourself then it might behoove you to also include a list outlining what/who you are looking for.
I'd love to meet someone with similar qualities to just hang out with and have some fun .. no pressure, just fun, new, random experiences!
If you're interested, send me a message
Again you need more elaboration. Do you want someone who thinks they have similar qualities or do you want to meet someone who you know for a fact has similar qualities? No pressure fun is a great thing, but by leaving absolutely everything open to open and broad interpretation, you can't then be all that surprised if and when what you get back is disappointing or not what you were looking for. If you know who you are and what you want it is far better to err on the side of caution and spell it out, rather than leaving what you want to someone else to determine for you by how they perceive what you are saying. Good Luck!
Have fun ;)! | |
|
| Not To Be A Thorn In Your Side But I Will Tell You What I Think
Posted: 9/4/2007 2:59:47 PM | Ms. kitty kat987,
Again WOW! Guess there are even more kitty kat's on this site than Melissa's, I sincerely had no idea. "Laughter is the best medicine", and "An Apple A Day Keeps The Doctor Away", and probably even more famous "Never Fight a Land War in Asia". Point being, yes it is indeed good advice, yes it is indeed a positive message, but also yes indeed it is nothing new nor exciting and doesn't say a heckuva lot about who you are, or what you want. It is simply "Old Hat", something I presume you are not.
Stats, pics and interests all check out. You even included an "action shot" (Nice job hon), and a picture of you holding what I am gonna guess (I don't catch or eat fish myself) is a big-arsed trout. Well done here.
Your profile proper:
am an intelligent, honest, fun loving professional with a great sense of humour and am looking to meet a man who is the same. I am looking to date and possibly a long term relationship, so maybe we can chat or meet and see what we have in common.
I love to make people laugh and enjoy someone who can make me laugh.
I enjoy camping, boating, fishing (bait my own hook and fillet my own fish), quading, horseback riding, basically anything outdoors. I'm as comfortable doing home renovations and getting my hands dirty as I am in my office.
I am a down to earth small town girl, who enjoys the city life and loves the outdoors. I do not have children of my own, but love kids and would welcome someone else children with open arms.
I am looking to meet a nice, kind, caring, affectionate man to spend time with and see what develops.
Hope to hear from you!
This profile too smacks of being a grocery list and is more or less like eating Cotton Candy; it is tasty and sweet going down, but nothing more than empty calories when it is all said and done, and isn't apt to leave you feeling sated. Elaborate, you must elaborate. Otherwise you could have just as easily provided a series of check boxes listing common adjectives related to hominids and called it a day.
I mean I had a Chocolate Labrador Retriever that was "nice, kind, caring, affectionate" as well as "intelligent, honest, fun loving" but I doubt you would want to date him because he was a horrible conversationalist, and he shed like crazy. See my point? Likewise if you intend to find the kind of person you have in your mind you had best figure out a way to describe who that person is, and put a wee bit more effort into it than can be contained in one solitary sentence. As I said in the last review, if you intend to leave your descriptions so wide open to interpretation, then who and or what writes you really can’t come as a surprise to you. No worries though, my Lab never managed to master typing, so you are safe in that regard at least. Good Luck!
Have fun ;)! | |
|
| Not To Be A Thorn In Your Side But I Will Tell You What I Think
Posted: 9/4/2007 3:17:05 PM | Ms. manormeow2,
How refreshing to see there are only 2 manormeows out there in PoFland. After the last two profiles I was starting to think that people had simply run out of original handles or something. "Everything Happens For a Reason", "One Door Closes Another Door Opens", "Good Things Come To Those Who Wait" " Get 2 Hot Apple Pies for Only $0.99 Now Thru Friday at McDribbleBurger". Getting the picture hon?
You covered all the bases with your Stats, Interests and Pics. You even have the requisite "Action Shot", the "My Pet Cat" shot though is really unnecessary. I will remind you all what WC Feilds once said "Never work with Kids or Animals!", and leave it at that.
Your Profile proper:
!consider myself very sensual, passionate, and a true romantic.
I need someone who is active- mentally and physically. Life is too short to sit around not enjoying it.
I love to laugh. Humor is very important to me. What fun is life if you can't laugh!
It is important for me to treat people how they wish to be treated, and I expect the same.
I love spending time outdoors- I'd like to find someone who is an active person willing to go out and live life-
I love to travel, and hope to get to all 50 states in my lifetime, as well as many places overseas. Hey, I can dream! you never know!
I want to meet someone who has their priorities in order and knows what they want.
I believe strongly in honesty, and would rather be alone than with someone that I can't trust.
I enjoy public displays of affection- if I am with you, the world will know it!
I want a relationship where we are a partnership, and perhaps in time, look towards marriage. I don't want to rush into anything, but at the same time, I am NOT looking to sleep around.
Why do I feel like there should be Bullets or Numbers at the start of each line? Why do I feel like I am looking at a "Feature/Benefit" statement for some new Widget rather than a personal dating profile?
There is a lot of good stuff being said here hon, but you need to find a far less utilitarian way of saying it. This is a personals profile not some Bauhaus blueprint for constructing the ideal relationship. You also needn't mention what you are not going to do (ex: "I am not looking to sleep around") just simply don't do it and you will be fine. A woman a ways back did the same thing about motorcycles, she won't ride them, that is fine don't ride them, but you needn't establish that in your profile. It simply serves no purpose, and in your example hon, that is hopefully presumed to begin with.
Again in your case hon, you score points for some of the notions you put forth, but your execution left a lot to be desired. Needless to say, were I more inclined to be like Simon Cowl it would certainly make the AI highlight reel. Good Luck!
Have fun ;)! | |
|
| Not To Be A Thorn In Your Side But I Will Tell You What I Think
Posted: 9/5/2007 7:11:10 PM | Thanks so much Thorn! I used to have my profile in paragraph form, but thought maybe guys wouldn't take the time to read it all. I've switched it back- and added a better opening line (or at least one that might get some curiosity seekers). I may work on the wording a bit later, but for right now, I think I got your general idea.
Thanks again! | |
|
| |
|
|
Home
login 
