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| Should I put Aspergers in my profile?
Posted: 5/17/2008 3:57:11 AM | Dude...doesn't that mean your like Rain Man?
I would absolutely promote that...come with me to Vegas and lets make some money -- I'll front the cash.  | |
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| Should I put Aspergers in my profile?
Posted: 5/17/2008 6:01:07 AM |
There seems to be not much support here in Canada for people with Autistic Spectrum Disorders especially in employment but in England there is quite a bit
I wish that was the case in my job Drew, maybe then my boss wouldn't be regularly pulling me up on complaints about my "attitude" lol 
I wouldn't be so hard on Canada. It was in Canada, not Wales aged 6 during her first year at a Canadian elementary school that my daughter was first suspected of being on the autistic spectrum by her classroom teacher. It hadn't been picked up at all over here all throughout her infancy and having done 3 years in a Welsh school. I wouldn't know what support they offer in Canada, but they're certainly alot quicker to pick up on it! I think that globally now aspergers is getting a bigger profile now than it once did
I keep wondering if I should put my ADHD in my pro.... Look! A baby wolf!
If you feel that your ADHD affects your social interaction skills to a point where it prohibits you from developing relationships maybe you should consider it, a baby wolf where?
I would absolutely promote that...come with me to Vegas and lets make some money -- I'll front the cash
Is that invitation open to all of us, Canadian Beef? I wouldn't say no to a free trip to Vegas! | |
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| Should I put Aspergers in my profile?
Posted: 5/17/2008 6:25:46 AM |
Statistics? From where? Seriously. I'm curious because to the best of my belief various Govt organisations can only *estimate* how many people there are with an ASD.
According to a 2003 study, one in 10,000 children has Aspergers. That's much less than one percent. I can certainly understand molesworth putting a very gracious .5% down for those who actually have it.
Seems odd that some of the .0001% of the population that has Aspergers seems to find their self right here on this forum...I understand where she's coming from. This is a very rare disorder, and suddenly everyone here seems to have it.
I mean no offense to people who have been diagnosed, but I looked up the stats this week, at the hospital library, and it seems pretty coincidental that so many people with AS have appeared.
Little side note here...do they still use the IQ system in the US? I know that it's been found to be a little inaccurate, and is actually rarely used, here in Canada.
As an ex nurse I believe you might also find those with cancer might be a bit miffed too, given it (like ASD's) is a condition that often ostracise's people in society.
For the record, as a woman living with cancer, I don't find what Molesworth said at all offensive. I certainly know that I didn't diagnose myself, I know that I don't seperate people into "cancies" and "normies" and I know that it is competely unrelated to the topic of discussion, aside from me stating that I put it on my profile and it had good responses. | |
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| Should I put Aspergers in my profile?
Posted: 5/17/2008 6:40:57 AM |
wouldn't be so hard on Canada. It was in Canada, not Wales aged 6 during her first year at a Canadian elementary school that my daughter was first suspected of being on the autistic spectrum by her classroom teacher. It hadn't been picked up at all over here all throughout her infancy and having done 3 years in a Welsh school. I wouldn't know what support they offer in Canada, but they're certainly alot quicker to pick up on it! I think that globally now aspergers is getting a bigger profile now than it once did
Whats this aboot Canada eh? Those sound like fightin' words from where I come from...wanna fight? Come on wussy, I'll pull your sweater over your head and give you kidney shots until you cry uncle...if I'm feeling generous....otherwise I'm making you cry out your entire family lineage.
Is that invitation open to all of us, Canadian Beef? I wouldn't say no to a free trip to Vegas!
Well...first understand that airfare is not included. Hotel accomodations are your own responsibility...I'd simply pay for the gambling, assuming you could predict the numbers, etc.
Also, read the small print...if you f*ck up and I loose my money...you loose your fingers. 
Just kidding...me thinks I've been watching to many movies.  | |
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| Should I put Aspergers in my profile?
Posted: 5/17/2008 10:47:31 AM | Hey Scorpiomover,
I have my own issues that I deal with every day, so I understand where you're coming from. Two of my best and closest friends also have relatively severe Aspergers, so yet again, I understand.
I suggest that you don't talk about it in your profile, and this is why.
People see Aspergers, they think, "mental", or "slow", or "autistic", and they don't realize what AS really is.
You and I know that AS is where you can't read figurative or subtle cues, and sarcasm is both hard to see and hard to properly give out.
This misconception is the reason why you should explain it to them yourself when you have had time to maybe get to know them.
My suggestion for making sure they understand your need for not-so-much sarcasm is to simply say: "I ask that you avoid subtle sarcasm early on, as I have a hard time reading it in text, and sometimes even in words it's a little hard to see. Hey, we all have our little flaws, right?"
Something like that, where you explain your needs, but make light of the situation instead of making it seem like a problem, is a really good way to avoid coming off as being somebody with something to hide.
If my friends with AS are any indication, you will probably find someone who fits your needs. Just stay on the lookout, and don't be discouraged by the difficulty I am sure you have to wrestle with every day.
Your friend,
~ David
By the way, ladies, the reason I believe him is that I've talked to him on these forums in other places, and he definitely doesn't ever use sarcasm, nor does he have an easy time understanding it. It isn't his fault. It just means he's more genuine than most of us can ever hope to be, quite honestly. That's what Aspergers is: Honesty to a fault. | |
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| Should I put Aspergers in my profile?
Posted: 5/17/2008 10:59:16 AM |
Seems odd that some of the .0001% of the population that has Aspergers seems to find their self right here on this forum...I understand where she's coming from. This is a very rare disorder, and suddenly everyone here seems to have it.
Population of where?
Schools have only started picking up on AS within the last few years so the majority of adults will not have had an official diagnosis and therefore would not be included in the "official statistics".
More realistic figures would be calculated if you examine how many school children have AS, hoping that the schools picked up on it and the correct diagnosis was given. Official sources in the UK estimate that 1 in 100 school children have an autistic disorder, with the CDC giving similar figures for the US, so that puts the figure closer to 1%.
Perhaps part of the reason why 1 in 8 of the posts on this thread have come from people claiming to have AS, is because last time I searched there were only 2 other threads relating to AS so there aren't many forums in which to discuss it.
Whats this aboot Canada eh?
I was paying Canada a compliment in that my daughter's autistic disorder was picked in her first year at elementary school, whereas it hadn't been for 3 years of schooling preceeding that in Wales
*singing Oh Canada*
Well...first understand that airfare is not included. Hotel accomodations are your own responsibility...
Don't I at least get to see Tom Jones? | |
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| Should I put Aspergers in my profile?
Posted: 5/17/2008 3:04:58 PM | It's great that your daughter has a definitive diagnosis, in Canada too! I have a friend who moved to England from Canada and got a diagnosis of AS, whereas before when he was here, it wasn't picked up. He's now getting a lot of support including support in employment from PROSPECTS. Unfortunately, services here (in Canada) for children and much, much much less so for adults with Autistic Sepctrum Disorders are severely lacking. I was amazed when I was in the UKGB (England) the level of services and support there is, and this was in 1999!
Yes, certainly globally AS is getting more attention. Why, just on Wednesday April 2nd, 2008, the United Nations designated that day as the the first World Autism Awareness Day. And I hear in the United Kingdom of Great Britain, the government is undertaking a project to calculate the number of individuals in England with Autistic Spectrum Disorders, after much campaigning by the National Autistisic Society (www.think-differently.org.uk). | |
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| Should I put Aspergers in my profile?
Posted: 6/5/2008 5:36:09 PM | I put it in my profile. It's a part of why I am who I am. And what I am....which is honest.
Maybe honest to a fault, but at least there's no confusion.
I don't want someone in my life who can't "deal" with different. So they get to know right from the start and there's no time lost or feelings crushed. | |
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| Should I put Aspergers in my profile?
Posted: 6/5/2008 6:27:35 PM | Only if it has any effect on how you interact in relationships 
Social disorders and attention disorders are a lot different. | |
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| Should I put Aspergers in my profile?
Posted: 6/5/2008 6:28:32 PM | Not to make light of such conditions (afflictions, disorders? don't want to be non-PC here) but I've self diagnosed myself with everything from mild OCD, ADD, fetal alcohol effects AND now I maybe have to add Asperger's?? Sheesh...
'Cos honestly folks, many of the symptoms people have listed as common of this disorder I have!! I admit I'm weird, a bit quirky or whatever, but no one has ever said to me "man, what is up with you?" so maybe I've a mild form?
I've talked to a *cough* "professional" about my suspicions of having "something" ('cos Lord knows I had to have a valid reason for why I am the way I am) and she basically said even if I had a confirmed diagnosis of something, it wouldn't change much and we could still address certain behaviours, etc. without a "label" attached to me. Plus, there's always the risk of using said label as a crutch...
Seriously, I thought moles--dang, forgot her name... she had many good points. Some of us do seem to need a name for whatever quirky/odd/bizarre behaviours, etc. we have, so we feel we belong somehow. And Lordy, most of us know of an individual or two who we work with, or from our past, whose behaviours/personality made us go, "hmmm" and that includes I'm willing to bet, a whopping 90% of the population (ok, i'm plucking these stats out of thin air) 'cos who among us is truly "normal"? Really... not a one. Someone's oddity is another's normal, and so on and so forth. People who colour coordinate their closet, or organize their sock drawer or iron their undies? To me that may be beyond bizarre, but I can already hear those who do saying, "what's wrong with that?"
Whoa, this post kind of went everywhere (see? probably a trait of some disorder or another) but as for the OP, I'd say no don't put it in your profile, but do disclose it to someone who you might be getting close to so they understand your behaviour, etc.
Good luck!  | |
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| Should I put Aspergers in my profile?
Posted: 6/5/2008 6:47:59 PM | Actually, that's the joy of having a label like Asperger's. It takes all those other labels and puts them in one little pile of co-morbid traits.
If I were to add up all the letters that fall under the Autism/Asperger's umbrella, I'd have every alphabet in every language, I'm sure.
Asperger's sums it all up.
Personally, it wasn't until I obtained my diagnosis that I was able to finally understand myself. My entire life came back in flashes of sense. It all made sense!
That knowledge gave me the ability to let go of so much resentment and guilt. And as a result allowed me to grow more in 2 years than I have in a lifetime.
Even when I meet new people, which happens now and then (another perk of self-understanding) I let them know...I have Asperger's so please don't take it personally if I don't feel like talking to you sometimes, or if I don't phone you back right away. Or I might say something that seems rude....and they appreciate it.
I think people need to know what they're in for if there's something that can affect the outcome of a relationship...friendship or more.
Most aspies can be tough to figure out. And without knowing why someone gives one word answers sometimes, and an entire book of redundancy another....it might not go over to well lol.
Why set yourself up?
Tell the person from the start and avoid getting thrown out of the game after you're already in it. | |
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| Should I put Aspergers in my profile?
Posted: 6/5/2008 9:27:47 PM | | I have AS and I can tell you that not all people with Asperger's are the same. Some of us have no trouble at all with dating and some of us are completely perplexed about how to form an intimate relationship. I'm still learning the rules of dating myself and most women expect that someone my age already knows the rules; thus I may get judged harshly. But on the other hand a lot of people with Asperger's can't tell the difference between a statement that's supposed to be taken literally and one that's not. I'm lucky in that I can distinguish this. OP, each person with Asperger's is as unique as anyone else is so maybe you should describe your individual traits and how they can be seen in a positive light. Lots of amazing people had Asperger's syndrome- Einstein for example. | |
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| Should I put Aspergers in my profile?
Posted: 6/5/2008 9:35:53 PM |
Seems odd that some of the .0001% of the population that has Aspergers seems to find their self right here on this forum...I understand where she's coming from. This is a very rare disorder, and suddenly everyone here seems to have it.
If so many people here have AS it may just be because we're the kind of people who are attracted to online dating. It's a bit easier for us to talk online than to socialize in the real world. | |
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| Should I put Aspergers in my profile?
Posted: 6/7/2008 12:50:46 PM |
I think some of the medical diagnosis are made up... so medical practice has something to bill on.... I would say AS may be a type of what was once known as socially inept person.... but socially inept is not covered by most insurance and medicare... so they thought to make it into a syndrome... and give it a name.
Bingo! This guy knows what he's talking about. I read about how the pharmacudical industy invents certain conditions just to make money rather then cure real problems. All those side effects are there so you buy more medicine and it's a vicious cycle of over spending money. | |
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| Should I put Aspergers in my profile?
Posted: 6/7/2008 7:16:58 PM | Um, I have AS and I don't pay out any money for anything. What would be the point of a Dr diagnosing it then?
There isn't a drug for this, not where I live anyway. It requires behavioural modification, not drugs.
Socially inept?
It goes beyond the social awkwardness.
The social aspect of it for me is the least of what I work on every day.
And I assure you, with the lack of anything in regards to this REAL problem....nobody is making a red cent off it. | |
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| Should I put Aspergers in my profile?
Posted: 6/7/2008 8:39:24 PM | I have a very good man friend that has Aspergers----I`m sure of it. But he has never been diagnosed. When I first started dating him, he absolutely drove me crazy. I thought, "what is up with this guy?" So I guess I was curious enough about his personality to do some research. I finally figured it out. I had never heard of it before.
The U.S. is not as evolved with an understanding of this phenomenon as the U.K., so most people don`t know what it is. It caused a ton of problems until I understood how he thought and processed information, and what he needed from me in order for our communication to remain positive. He is a very good person with a wonderful heart.
But boy did this difference in our perceptions wreak havoc, until I understood what this all entails. I find him immensely interesting but at the same time incredibly trying.
We have remained friends, however, I think we both know that the possibility of it evolving into anything more is not a possibility. In our particular case, my physical and emotional needs couldn`t be fufilled by him, so I would really be giving up the possibilty of any kind of a romantic connection if I was to be with him, although I think he would like me as a romantic companion. The related phobias, rigid thought
patterns and schedules, and incessant patterns, rituals and OCD become very
stressful to me . We can take and enjoy small amounts of time together, which I look forward to, but a cohabitation or romantic connection would be quite impossible because of the Aspergers. I`d be in the nut house within a month! But he`s a great guy.
Really too bad.
Yes, it is very important to let people know. It takes an incredibly resilient, easy going
and patient NT and Aspie couple to have those dynamics work. I think the best bet is to find an incredibly hot lady Aspie! So if you put it in, you may just find one. | |
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| Should I put Aspergers in my profile?
Posted: 6/7/2008 9:19:35 PM | Scorpiomover,
Just wanted to add---no reason that anyone would ever need to consider the whole Asperger`s thing as being pity worthy. Some of the most brilliant intellectuals throughout the centuries probably had AS tendencies. I think AS people and the way they look at things as absolutley fascinating. Although there are some deficits in certain processing, there is usually more than equal gifts n other areas. Wired a little differently--definitely. But not deficient in any way. Variety is the spice of life. How boring it would be in a world where everyone thought the same way. | |
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| Should I put Aspergers in my profile?
Posted: 6/7/2008 9:39:06 PM |
I can't help but feel a new respect for your position, dispite the posts you have made in the past. My son also has some very mild signs of this as well. It's not a huge deal and it's not something you should define your existance by.
Don't put it in your profile. This is information that should be privileged information for those that wish to gain a deeper understanding of who you are. You should never lie about who you are or the things in your life that affect you, but this is the kind of thing that only those that care should be told. You are a smart guy, I think you probably know this to begin with, but it's always nice to hear it from someone else.
I totally agree. People that don't take the time to get to know you and understand you, aren't worth your time trying to explain it to them. Eventually, someone will come along and be able to see pass everything to who you really are.
During my internship teaching a first grade class, there were two boys in the class with Aspergers. Very intelligent boys (if you mentioned sharks to one, he could rattle off information all day about them), but lacking in social skills. As a result, I attended a workshop about autism, so I would be more aware of how their minds worked and learn more about autism. Most people aren't aware and understand autism and Aspergers. I, myself, don't claim to be an expert. | |
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| Should I put Aspergers in my profile?
Posted: 6/8/2008 5:37:10 AM | | my field of work is with people with aspergers/autism - you dont need to put it on your profile - you choose who you want to share that with - describe yourself and what matters to you - and btw- some of the nicest people i know have aspergers | |
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| Should I put Aspergers in my profile?
Posted: 6/8/2008 9:31:11 AM | My vote is for "No, don't put it in your profile".
It makes more sense to to simply list your likes & dislikes rather than expect someone to read "Aspergers" and then have to research what that means.
Personally, I do not consider it a "disorder".
Everyone has certain gifts and aptitudes, and everyone has certain challenges in life. People are different. Expecting all people to have the same abilities is just not realistic, yet it seems that is where we are heading as a society.
Make the most of your aptitudes... work on improving your abilities in areas that are not so easy. You already have have that battle handled - most people don't even get to the point of identifying their challenge areas! | |
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| Should I put Aspergers in my profile?
Posted: 6/8/2008 7:36:25 PM | by posting this information here, basically, you've disclosed your condition already. it's not uncommon for people to have medical conditions that affect their lives.
i do think it's best to be honest & explain it upfront.
unfortunately, when you do, you may find some people will react by being cold, insensitive, or even ignorant- both here and in real life.
while you may encounter that more by being honest, you'll also weed out those people you probably wouldn't want to spend time getting to know in the first place.
so you're making the right choice. | |
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