| Has being online toughened you up emotionally or made you more sensitive?
Posted: 8/27/2007 4:54:18 AM | being online, has only made me more aware that men are liars, cheats and cons. i dont trust anyone anymore. for some reason online seems to make men think they have the right to lie. sad eh, but so true.
meowmix.......i agree with what you noted above. i was on two other dating site and when i met the men, they looked nothing like their the photos on their profiles. they posted pictures, not just a few years old, but ten to twenty years old. they also lied about their ages. they showed up looking 60ish in lieu of 40ish --- balding instead of having full heads of hair --- were pot-bellied/overweight and not trim. no spologies or explanations were offered as to why the pictures and the men that i met differed so radically.
i have been on this site for a few days and met one guy. i ran into the same that i described above. are these guys crazy or do they really believe they still look the way they did ten to twenty years ago? if i showed up looking late 60's and had grey hair, i'll bet those same men would have a fit, maybe even get abusive verbally or physically.
i won't meet a guy unless he takes me to a nice place for dinner since i feel that the likelihood is that i am meeting another liar. if a guy is going to waste my time then he is going to pay for it with a nice dinner. in that connection, i have had a lot of expensive dinners at extremely nice restaurants, and my lying dates have picked up the full tab. when i meet a guy who has misrepresented his appearance, i pretend that i do not notice he is years and years older than his picture. while we are eating i play along with him and let him think i am going to see him again. so he happily pays for an expensive meal. i have no qualms about doing this since if a man lies to me about his appearance, then he deserves to be taken.
incidentally, the one and only guy i met from this site bought me a lobster dinner with shrimp appetizer. so, men if you are reading this post and you are interested in me, you better look like your picture or else i will take you for a five course dinner at an expensive restaurant. | |
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| Has being online toughened you up emotionally or made you more sensitive?
Posted: 8/27/2007 5:03:15 AM | ....................To woman message.....................
Quite the opposite for me... I've met so many great people here on this site.
I think that it all depends on "expectations".
I didn't join this site in search of "the one"... therefore, I'm not disappointed that I haven't found him (yet).
I hoped to find interesting and like-minded people... and I did.
Sure, there have been lots of people/messages/whatever that were not what I was looking for. But I never took it personally... they are just different people, looking for different things.
I suspect that the key to having a good online experience, is in having realistic expectations. And in not taking it personally if some people don't meet the "standards" that you are looking for
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That is the best answer I've heard, I haven’t been on here long, but I do believe it’s too
easy to look at someone's picture and say thanks but no thanks, rather than get to
meet the person and see them for them, what are you scared of, falling in love with
a person that you thought never would be???
There are a lot of people on these dating sites that will be single for a long time due to
their expectations...
I wish all good luck...
to OP I would say it’s toughened me up a little more and opened my eyes up
to what sort of people do exist...
peace out | |
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| Has being online toughened you up emotionally or made you more sensitive?
Posted: 8/27/2007 9:05:43 AM | | I think: a) reading and responding to posts is a great deal more fun than television (not enlightening as reading a good book); b) not take it too seriously; c) a chance to be honest - no one knows who you are, anyway and d) remember, you didn't really think you were going to win Lotto when you bought the ticket, did you? | |
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| Has being online toughened you up emotionally or made you more sensitive?
Posted: 8/27/2007 9:24:40 AM | Hi
With that said...I was just wondering if anyone else felt that they were able to toughen up emotionally being online and not be as sensitive due to the variety of emails/messages or rejections we get? Or have some of you tough ones, actually become more sensitive now that you're online.
I think it has been an eye opener online. To know and see what other people think & feel, to experience third hand and not first hand is very valuable. When I do find another woman I will know which areas are more important to her as I obvious didn't before. I think I was a bit sensitive & emotional clumsily before, it wasn't a matter of not showing enough love and attention, just a question of not genuinely not realising. So yes, I’ve got a little more sensitive to other peoples feelings, and become a little tougher too. Thank you all.  | |
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| Has being online toughened you up emotionally or made you more sensitive?
Posted: 8/27/2007 9:40:15 AM | | On line dating has toughened me a lot.. It has made me more aware of how speacial i am and how differant i am compared to other guys. I now have more appreciation for the many girls that come on to me at music festivals and rainbow gatherings. I have a better understanding of people in general. I studied psychology for years but never had a computer before december. I would make my escape from undesirable people and not have to deal with them. Online i have found that almost everyone that is online is undesirable but many are interesting in one way or the other. It has been a learning expeariance to say the least. I do not think that i could find love online and this is why i nolonger look. If i wanted to just get laid, online could be a gold mine for that. But LOVE? I dont see any desirable women loking for that online. | |
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| Has being online toughened you up emotionally or made you more sensitive?
Posted: 8/27/2007 10:07:53 AM | Naahh it's much like real life. If you aren't a target for people who want to take advantage, you follow your gut and you're cautious, it's easy enough to weed out people that aren't worth your time.
It's when you focus too hard on finding someone and not enough on your self worth that you tend to drop your guard and let people in that see you coming. That happens both on and offline. | |
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| Has being online toughened you up emotionally or made you more sensitive?
Posted: 8/29/2007 10:20:19 AM | I do take this seriously, this is real life, not a game! People's heads and hearts can be on the line here. Sure I'm looking to have fun while dating and also possibly finding love one day again. Meeting people on here and making some good friends has been a good experience.
I'm not "fishing" for a person, this is simply the name of the site~ plentyoffish. Just as I wouldn't "shop" for a person. | |
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| Has being online toughened you up emotionally or made you more sensitive?
Posted: 8/29/2007 11:05:27 AM | Well I must be your twin cause I to feel the same. In the beginning I was shocked..surprised....and let down a time or two. I think it has really toughened me up. I still wear my heart on my sleve but just tell myself there are so so many fish in the sea! Brush myself off, put on a smile and try again. I keep telling myself the best is yet to come.   | |
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| Has being online toughened you up emotionally or made you more sensitive?
Posted: 8/29/2007 12:02:06 PM | Being online has made me realize that dealing with people in everyday life suddenly isn't so bad.
Being online has made me realize that people online make people offline seem like angels, and seem like the sweetest people ever.
Being online has made me realize that giving individuals the opportunity to hide behind a computer monitor is a bad thing, since apparently it allows them to completely disregard any sense of human decency they might otherwise have had.
Being online has opened my eyes to just how fake people can be, and see what deep, dark secrets they let loose on an electronic medium, that they'd otherwise not show in person. | |
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| Has being online toughened you up emotionally or made you more sensitive?
Posted: 8/29/2007 12:08:43 PM | meowmix, "Jus as you, Im very aware some woman are liars, cheats, cons and delusional whacks"...NOT ALL ARE, HOWEVER..Hiding behind a computer is a great place for these kooks to hide...More sensitive (Nah), (Toughened me up , more ) Nah...Jus an experience...
This stuff is too comical to take seriously...There are some cool people here though..
Cmon, I knew this before I stepped into Internet Dating....Like I said, "Met some very cool woman here"...Some bad and some good...Im sure it works the same for both male and female...
I dont judge everything off a few bad experiences though..... | |
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| Has being online toughened you up emotionally or made you more sensitive?
Posted: 8/29/2007 12:26:43 PM | I am far more cynicial, but like the above poster... it is comical. I could write a book or a stand up comedy routine based on my experiences.
I love the whole " looking for my cowboy who is comfortable in a tux.." Cowboys don't typically Own a tux or hang out at black tie affairs... and I dont know too many affluent guys who dress up in Tuxes to be a ranch hand.... | |
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| Has being online toughened you up emotionally or made you more sensitive?
Posted: 8/29/2007 12:31:50 PM | Myself ~ I arrived herem ~ as I am today ~
no tougher, but perhaps a little smarter and stronger.
I leave here ~ knowing that I am not alone and the broken road
can truly be a blessed one.
I leave here ~with better communication skills with the English language.
I've learned to spell ~ I've learn to qualify and narrow my statements
I've learned by my own and others mistakes
I've learn to spare my first impression of others
holding judgement and look deeper for the ones that open their hearts.
I've learned that some as lost ~ no matter what you do.
I've learned , ~that a lot of pronouns is boring.
The learning curve has been vertical!
~dar | |
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| Has being online toughened you up emotionally or made you more sensitive?
Posted: 8/29/2007 1:09:51 PM | I think being on line has been a eye opening experience. I started out just reading the first few days. The time period of joining and not posting. I was really shocked at what I read, then started joining in and found out just how much fun it is. I came on with the attitude these people will never see me, so go for it be totally honest, cut loose and have fun with it.
I have found some really great people in a short time. I have found some things about myself that I never knew. I can be rude, something I just can't do in public. I am finding out how other people tick.
I think forums are the best way to really get to know someone by watching what they post in all the different forums.
etc.
So did I toughen up emotionally yes in alot of ways. Am I more sensitive yes definately in my job.
GREAT POST OP | |
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| Has being online toughened you up emotionally or made you more sensitive?
Posted: 8/29/2007 1:10:30 PM | I think that the whole online dating experience is just that: ONLINE. It seems that people like the idea of dating online. Literally. I think that they have their own lives outside of their PC and to form a relationship with someone via emails/chat is just that type of 'dating' that they enjoy. Hence 'online dating'= a relationship formed via the web and it doesn't go much further than that. Does that make someone more sensitive? It might if one of the people corresponding was getting emotionally involved with someone they haven't met yet! Would it make them more sensitive to others doing the same 'online dating' thing and would they feel rejection if they were not the chosen one? Sure.
Would it toughen them up a little to the reality that most people online just don't want a relationship OFFline? I would like to think so.
For me - well, I had no expectations. Rejections came and went and I gave a few of my own. I think it's all in the ATTITUDE of people and what they are looking for on a dating site. Take it with a grain of salt and laugh it off. (unless it's so offensive that your skin crawls). Just have to remember that not everyone online is looking for the same thing you might be looking for.
Cheers!
WBW | |
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| Has being online toughened you up emotionally or made you more sensitive?
Posted: 8/29/2007 1:14:50 PM | | When this was put: I've learned , ~that a lot of pronouns is boring. You meant , alot of pronouns are boring, right? Oops, my grammar is showing..lol. I found the rest of the read worthwhile on that posting but just that it didn't make sense to use a plural word and then attach or add a single conjunctive word after..oh no, there goes my proofreading mode kicking in again. BUT seriously. ot: I would say a little bit from column a and little bit of column b. I feel that it can make you more sensitive when you have a select encounter with someone that you feel is other than they actually turn out to be. Then it makes one wiser and more leary of who they can and will find online next. Due to such happening, I feel that this can cause a little toughening and raised sensitivity to who you will actually encounter. The interest to exists but with caution. | |
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| Has being online toughened you up emotionally or made you more sensitive?
Posted: 8/29/2007 2:19:38 PM | CharleneAnn ~ bet you have a hard time with that second shoot! You light that thing off and you'll spend 80 seconds to find it and pick it back up. Two days for your ears to quit ringing
And who is Meomix ~ that a precious handle, heard she's ranting , can't find her post.
Entertainment? ~ here? ~ it's rich
~dar | |
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| Has being online toughened you up emotionally or made you more sensitive?
Posted: 8/29/2007 2:54:50 PM | Loyal T ~ yep! you said it best ~ thank for the imput !
In rhyme and poem its' my hope that liberities are allowed?
my intent to start but failed to follow ~ the pronouns erked me
How very observerent and cleaver you are regarding toughing
and raised sensitivity, ~ yes~, this too must come into play~ especially
online with the written word, for all to see. Caution looms there~
in the back of the mind. To exist, met your match and grow complete
This will never happen if we hide. ~ dar | |
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