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| Has being online toughened you up emotionally or made you more sensitive?
Posted: 8/29/2007 7:34:18 PM | | I have decided that online dating is not good for a sensitive soul like myself . It has really affected my self esteem and my sense of self . When I first went into this ,I was under the impression that everyone would be as honest and straight forward as I am, and that was not the case at all . I will admit ,I was a bit naive when I started online dating ,but after a year I have found myself becoming very cynical about the whole thing . | |
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clay71
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Joined: 7/11/2007
Msg: 104 | |
| Has being online toughened you up emotionally or made you more sensitive?
Posted: 8/29/2007 7:34:42 PM | I think it's toughened me up on line and in the real world. I've become more calloused and as long as I'm able to explain or discuss my side I'm able to walk away to batten down the hatches.If they want to stay friends thats fine but, they will never get to access the person behind the barricades. | |
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| Has being online toughened you up emotionally or made you more sensitive?
Posted: 8/29/2007 8:04:25 PM | Same here, im still a sensitive person. however, i felt online has toughen me up quite a bit from racist cowards, liars, cheaters, slutty men, fakes, ppl who care what others think, men who are concern about themselves and not others, fake ass couples, men who only want a **** buddy, etc. i have spotted a lot more bs when i meet them offline. they tend to not want to be friends or something, i find out they lie about that. i really dont hesitate to call them on that and it doesnt bother me if i dont hear from them again, i have a life and i dont need lil boys in my life who cant be real ass men!!  Still, i still meet fake asses and im getting tired of meeting people off the net. its either u wanna be friends or **** off, i dont have the time to sit here and play guessing games. | |
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| Has being online toughened you up emotionally or made you more sensitive?
Posted: 8/30/2007 7:04:38 AM | | I've become like a duck.. I can let all the B.S. roll off of me without any problems. All of theses sites have become entertainment for me now. Yet, this B.S. also happens out in the real world too. So, this internet stuff has put me in training.Don't take it to heart. | |
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| Has being online toughened you up emotionally or made you more sensitive?
Posted: 8/30/2007 8:21:37 AM | I find I remained the same, neither more sensitive, nor tougher. Perhaps the 16 years bartending @60+hrs/wk prepared me for what does crop up now and then (lol), they sure made POF seem pretty mild in comparison.
What I did gain though, was a more thorough insight into people's life experiences and how they dealt with them. Whether those mirrored my own entirely, or were completely opposite reactions, I find myself continuously fascinated by the human psyche and amazed by all of our varied reactions and solutions to situations, as well as our resilience in overcoming life's curve balls...there is so much to be learned from it.
*C* | |
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| Has being online toughened you up emotionally or made you more sensitive?
Posted: 8/30/2007 7:13:53 PM | | alllll you men who are bashing me, because i said i found the men on here to be liars and cheats, i forgot to add imature. hmmm not women here has complained about you saying women are liars and cheats. grow up!!!! the OP asked a question. I am a female, therefore I answered using men. as that is what i speak to men, not the women. should i have said i found the women to be cheats and liars, good grief grow up, see how imature, ignorant, stupid you are also. who wants ya? | |
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| Has being online toughened you up emotionally or made you more sensitive?
Posted: 8/30/2007 8:30:42 PM | Being online has neither toughened me up nor made me more sensitive. What it has done is given me access to behaviors I would never have had the chance to observe or come in contact with in real life, nor even suspect existed. Without being online I would have never learned what a "gender generalization", "Independent Woman", "Nice Guy", "Player", "Cougar", or "Metro sexual" was. Without being online, I would have had no idea how jaded, bitter, and just downright venomous some people can be. Without being online I would have never learned that some people actually seem only to be happy when they are miserable or making others miserable, and will always blame others for their misery and do so very vocally.
Being Online has taught me to truly appreciate the peace, sincerity, honesty, and happiness that I have in my regular life. It has taught me that no matter how bad I might think my life is at times, that I can always count on coming online and finding people who will voluntarily make themselves far more miserable than anything I could ever imagine.
Have fun ;)! | |
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| Has being online toughened you up emotionally or made you more sensitive?
Posted: 8/31/2007 11:48:30 PM | | I don't know if trying to find someone online has made me tougher. In fact I think it has opened my eyes to maybe what people are. You have those(speaking of men) that can be very shallow, erogant, liars, and that has made me tell many people that I hate men. So when a woman has to toughen herself up because of the rejection, or insults. Well it can be trouble some, cause we all have had our problems in the past obviously. Because you look at profiles and how many are divorced, or separated with no resolve in the future. I also wear my emotions on my sleeve. And I will say this proudly that I have nights that I cry, weep, etc. Because I want to be honest down to earth. I mean I am not all that and a bag of frito's(thats were I work, lol). And in many ways feel taken advantage of. But I also let it happen on occassion, and because I want to be a good person but it hurts. And if there is anyone who is trusting and would love to have someone in my life. Finding the time sometimes feels impossible and that is what is the most upsetting. Because, of the fact that I am raising a 15 y/o daughter and that is my priority. And unless she is out with friends or spending the night with her grandparents. My opportunities are very limited, and well I am willing to live with that. So if anything that is what has toughened me up to trying to find or date someone online. | |
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| Has being online toughened you up emotionally or made you more sensitive?
Posted: 9/1/2007 5:23:47 PM | Hi---I have become too sensitive. I am 59 yrs of age and single for 3 years and on line for about 2 1/2 yrs here and there. I have become very discouraged in online dating...I am not too hard on the eyes and my profile is open and honest. I don't know what men want. I think they always think there is something better around the corner and they want perfection whatever that is? I have become too sensitive---------I am a good person, fun ,smart but when I go on line I wonder if that is what men really want.
What does a woman have to do to get a date around here........... | |
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| Has being online toughened you up emotionally or made you more sensitive?
Posted: 9/1/2007 9:38:07 PM | I wouldn't say toughened up, but it certainly has exposed me to people I prolly wouldn't have met in meat life. And I've had to learn some coping skills I hadn't needed until now.
That said, I have made some amazing friends here, and met some lovely men. It's opened my life to new adventures and new ideas, and has been, on the whole, a very positive experience. And, ya, came across a bummer or two. But hey. . . .
I do have to agree with Thorn that sometimes, on the forums especially, I'm astonished at the number of people who appear to be pleased to be miserable, and continue to blame the other half of the human race for that misery. Not a path I'd choose, but I suppose everyone has different lessons to learn. . . .
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| Has being online toughened you up emotionally or made you more sensitive?
Posted: 9/1/2007 9:53:18 PM | Well, it made me a lot more open and carefree , strange as that may seem.
I never really was the type to ask a lot of women out before my divorce, but then afterwards I realized what an idiot I'd been. In online dating , when I was doing it, I'd say I got an 80 percent (minimum) rejection rate - most invites not even read, and deleted.
The old me would have been totally discouraged by those odds.
The new me realized that 20 percent did respond, and perhaps half of those lead to a date - FAR better than I'd previously enjoyed as a percentage. Those odds are certainly good enough to take, in my view.
It's the "glass half full" effect.
That in turn lead me to asking women out in real life more often, when I felt an attraction - something that would have been pretty much paralyzed from doing BEFORE my divorce.
You have to get over the hump of rejection, especially as a man, to proceed to being at ease with yourself. Anyone that rejects me without even knowing me bothers me not a wit.
If they reject me AFTER knowing me, then we just happen to differ in our tastes and viewpoints - still no biggie. | |
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| Has being on line toughened you up emotionally or made you more sensitive?
Posted: 9/1/2007 10:42:24 PM | neither one.
If a person lets a internet site change them in such a manner then they would be very susceptible to other forms of change as well.
What this site has done is allowed me to view the microcosm that is POF as a way to study various interactions among it's members. It's quite visible here on the forums .
That in and of itself has been an interesting study. | |
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| Has being on line toughened you up emotionally or made you more sensitive?
Posted: 9/5/2007 11:01:51 AM |
What this site has done is allowed me to view the microcosm that is POF as a way to study various interactions among it's members. It's quite visible here on the forums .
That in and of itself has been an interesting study.
I agree dreadstalker. I've also found it very interesting to meet with some POFer's and compare their real-time personalities with their on-line ones. The human condition is endlessly fascinating.
DD | |
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| Has being online toughened you up emotionally or made you more sensitive?
Posted: 9/8/2007 8:12:16 AM | Hey Harry,
How's it going?
I take it that your experience on POF hasn't been stellar?
I aint jumpin up and down either  my friend.
However you writing:
"So many women are looking for Mr. Perfect yet look like old dogs."
Although, I can see how you have come to feel this way after who knows how many rejections, me thinks you ain't going to be put on any of the ladies "favorite lists" by making those kinda statements.  But, I admire your candor, and I think this subject could use some addressing...So bear with me, and if you don't mind I would appreciate your opinion to my address. For when I am done here, me thinks we both are going to be in the DOG HOUSE!  I probably won't be put on anymore "Favorites Lists" either...
I don't know much Harry, but that isn't the right kinda bait to use!  
Harry, do not give up! Just remember one thing during your search...Ya can't win if ya don't play...
You are only looking for one, and so am I. And, to steal a famous quote from the ladies:
" Ya gotta to kiss a lotta frogs for them to find their mythical PRINCE!"
Oh, did I change that around some? Had to modify that just a wee little bit! 
Gee girls, I can't tell ya how many profiles I have seen saying , "I am lookin for my Prince Charming". If not saying that, then you are insinuating it in what you are saying “what you want in a man”. Don't get me wrong, this in itself is not the problem. The problem with most of the profiles is: What you want and leave out what you have to offer a possible relationship. I hate to be the one to bust your little bubbles, but just maybe ya should think of coming out of the fairy tale world, and come down to earth and see who you might learn how to compliment... You are no more entitled than the man, in this
Shucks, it's a shame isn't it ladies? To think that you will have to put an equal amount of effort into something that you think should be effortless. (It is not just the man's job!)
BUT, BOY IS IT ALL HIS FAULT WHEN THE RELATIONSHIP BLOWS!
Just maybe, you can take the example of some of the more mature ladies (relatively few), up on line that recognize and acknowledge the fact that they too are as equally responsible for the outcome of any relationship; especially for bringing something to a possible new relationship. Like around 50% of the whole...  And, that they realize that they are just as responsible to the long range success of the relationship, instead of laying it all on the Man. And blaming him for its success or failure. Ladies, I address man's (PLAYERS) responsibility, at the end of the thread. Should you dare call me BIASED!  Cause one thing I can guarantee you, that he cannot possibly do it by himself. But, should the relationship fail, you gals put the majority of the blame on him. And you are lying if you say you have never done this!
This is a great THREAD! I don't know that being up here has toughened me up, but more sensitive...NOT
In the few months that I have been up here, I have read many threads from all kinds of ladies. And almost without exception, most of the forum posting ladies consider themselves pro's in the dating world. Yet, they for the most part are not in a relationship! Not to mention the sense of entitlement that you ladies exude (or think you deserve), it would be almost be humorous, were it not for the amount of devastation that that attitude brings on relationships.
And, while it is my opinion, yea that's just like (****holes), I have noticed that most of you men are forgetting you are men, and have sold out for the "popularity prize among the ladies" ( ohhh we should not ruffle their feathers, BS...I N THIS CASE THEY NEED RUFFELING. You for the most part are trying to look good for them, and wouldn't dare show your butt like my friend Harry did. But, he's got one thing most of you men don't, that's cohunnas! You see, the women will call that a loser, and just blow it off by simply ignoring it (THE POST). Rather clever, don't you think? And, you too are afraid to stand up for the TRUTH. WHY? It isn't popular. And you probably will pay a price for doing so! For one thing, a woman will not tolerate, is being exposed for a weakness, that she believes is a strength (Her false sense of Entitlement). Where they get this from, I have yet to figure out...Well, I sorta have an idea, but that it itself would be another thread. Whoaaaa, but for not one minute, would she refrain from exposing a man's weaknesses, so that she does not have to see her own!
While, it was crude what Harry said, at least he has the cohunes to make what I am sure is an "Unpopular Opinion", however, it has a certain ring of truth in it.
Harry, you think they will get it? Probably not, for they will not admit for the most part that there is a double standard that they are trying to hold us up to. While bashing any man, who has the nerve to question them about it. "Like are you living up to the standards that you are trying to hold me accountable for?
ONE OF THEIR MAIN TACTICS HERE, IS TO JUST IGNORE THE POST AND SAY HE'S JUST A LOSER COMPLAINING. AND BLOWING IT OFF LIKE IT NEVER
WAS POSTED!
Sorta like the way they(MOST) blow men off, when the man emails them and they do not have the manners to write them back! They justify this by saying, well they should just get the message when I don't respond. They just don't get it, never mind the fact that it is not only impolite but straight up rude. (Another example of Entitlement) Kinda makes you wonder if they were taught basic manners when they were growing up. It doesn't matter if your excuse is this is the Internet, it's no excuse for poor, or no manners. BTW, it doesn't matter if you are a man or woman, there is no excuse for a lack of manners. If a little more respect and civility were shown up here, it would be a far more pleasant experience for all.
I KNOW I WAS NOT THE ONLY ONE BROUGHT UP WITH MANNERS!
That being said, I know there are a few (LADIES) whom have matured in life to the point of realizing that (ENTITLEMENT or competition) doesn't exist, and is highly destructive to a relationship. What should be there in the place of it, is mutual respect and honor! BTW , these are the type of LADIES that I would be honored and privileged to meet...
EXPLAIN TO ME THE AMOUNT OF DIVORCES IN THIS COUNTRY.
And no, I am not talking about the adulteries, but the blown marriages... Due to the lack of communication and respect that should be on boths sides of a marriage comittment. Not from blaming each other...How does this effect our children? We tell them to stay married when we justify divorce. Some example we're setting!
BTW MEN, I INVITE YOU TO TELL ME IF I'M FULL OF S**T, or if I am deluded like they are going to say I am, or they are just going to blow this post off because it hit's to close to the truth, and doesn't tickle their ears. OR I DARE HIM TO SAY THAT ABOUT WOMEN, Don't for get to read the post here ladies...I said that most of you are like that...NOT ALL.
You think about it guys?...In your past relationships if you were not held up to an impossible level of maturity while the whole time the ladies were judging your every action, (while they at the same time did not hold themselves up to their own level of scrutiny) ? All I got to say about this is if I'm lying I'm dying! Man, the women are good at this guys! Real subtle, but you can bet their girlfriends know what a b*stard you are. "They keep moving the field goal posts" by Dr. Laura Slessenger , and think they are "entitled to do this"....When are you guys going to wise up and scream foul? Oh that's right, then you would be called abusive...or a male chauvinst pig...Either way boys, you can't win when the goal posts are being moved, if it gets to close to a guilty conscience. Even here, Dr Laura said that's just the way women are and basically we are suppose to except it! Bull S**T. Whats good for the goose is good for the gander is my motto. And that's my story and I'm sticken to it! Fair play is fair play... Or you can play that game by yourself.
WHAT A RACKET!
Well ladies and gents, ... I guess my view is going to be considered male chauvinistic. I, really don't think so. I am just exposing a "supposed to be hidden attribute". It's sorta like exposing President Bush's arrogance. How do they (His Staff) confront it? Simple, they just turn it around and tell the press saying you are arrogant for exposing them. Besides, he's beyond approach isn't he? And the game goes round and round...
Hey, that might work in politics, but I strongly believe it does NOT belong in a relationship based on love...
I AM JUST SO SICK AND TIRED OF THIS DOUBLE STANDARD CRAP!
How the men are all calloused and cold. And the famous one "Men just don't get it (understand) the feelings of women. That my Lady is a 2 way street! NOT ONEWAY...
YOU GIRLS AIN'T NO LESS SINNERS THAN WE MEN ARE!
The men are not the only ones to blame. Ladies, you hold just as much responsibility for past blown relationships as they do. In other words, you've done your share of burning em, as the men have.
It just amazes me how many women cry foul that they have been ABUSED in a former relationship, as though you never were abusive to your s/o. I say, that for the MOST part this is one of the biggest deceptions going on today, especially in marriages! Really it is tragic, the communication breakdown between men and women. It takes 2 to make it, and it only takes one to blow it. And very seldom is it just one person's fault. Like everything there are rare exceptions.
In closing, first of all I would like to apologize for the length of this POST. However, do to the grievous nature of this subject; me thinks it needs serious addressing.
And just one footnote: You men (Especially) and women that are players and adulterers; you are deluded; if you don't think one day you will be held to account, for the amount of pain and suffering your actions have caused. Not to mention your acts, reflect poorly on the rest of humanity. That is for those who are attempting to live up to ethics and moral values ( In other words, do un to others, as you would have to yourself). .. You have no idea of the damage you are causing not just to your own personal family relationship, but you are contributing to the decline of this county's moral fabric, failed marriages, broken families, dysfunctional children.
Rick the Tensaw Eagle | |
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