| Has being online toughened you up emotionally or made you more sensitive?
Posted: 9/8/2007 8:12:16 AM | Hey Harry,
How's it going?
I take it that your experience on POF hasn't been stellar?
I aint jumpin up and down either  my friend.
However you writing:
"So many women are looking for Mr. Perfect yet look like old dogs."
Although, I can see how you have come to feel this way after who knows how many rejections, me thinks you ain't going to be put on any of the ladies "favorite lists" by making those kinda statements.  But, I admire your candor, and I think this subject could use some addressing...So bear with me, and if you don't mind I would appreciate your opinion to my address. For when I am done here, me thinks we both are going to be in the DOG HOUSE!  I probably won't be put on anymore "Favorites Lists" either...
I don't know much Harry, but that isn't the right kinda bait to use!  
Harry, do not give up! Just remember one thing during your search...Ya can't win if ya don't play...
You are only looking for one, and so am I. And, to steal a famous quote from the ladies:
" Ya gotta to kiss a lotta frogs for them to find their mythical PRINCE!"
Oh, did I change that around some? Had to modify that just a wee little bit! 
Gee girls, I can't tell ya how many profiles I have seen saying , "I am lookin for my Prince Charming". If not saying that, then you are insinuating it in what you are saying “what you want in a man”. Don't get me wrong, this in itself is not the problem. The problem with most of the profiles is: What you want and leave out what you have to offer a possible relationship. I hate to be the one to bust your little bubbles, but just maybe ya should think of coming out of the fairy tale world, and come down to earth and see who you might learn how to compliment... You are no more entitled than the man, in this
Shucks, it's a shame isn't it ladies? To think that you will have to put an equal amount of effort into something that you think should be effortless. (It is not just the man's job!)
BUT, BOY IS IT ALL HIS FAULT WHEN THE RELATIONSHIP BLOWS!
Just maybe, you can take the example of some of the more mature ladies (relatively few), up on line that recognize and acknowledge the fact that they too are as equally responsible for the outcome of any relationship; especially for bringing something to a possible new relationship. Like around 50% of the whole...  And, that they realize that they are just as responsible to the long range success of the relationship, instead of laying it all on the Man. And blaming him for its success or failure. Ladies, I address man's (PLAYERS) responsibility, at the end of the thread. Should you dare call me BIASED!  Cause one thing I can guarantee you, that he cannot possibly do it by himself. But, should the relationship fail, you gals put the majority of the blame on him. And you are lying if you say you have never done this!
This is a great THREAD! I don't know that being up here has toughened me up, but more sensitive...NOT
In the few months that I have been up here, I have read many threads from all kinds of ladies. And almost without exception, most of the forum posting ladies consider themselves pro's in the dating world. Yet, they for the most part are not in a relationship! Not to mention the sense of entitlement that you ladies exude (or think you deserve), it would be almost be humorous, were it not for the amount of devastation that that attitude brings on relationships.
And, while it is my opinion, yea that's just like (****holes), I have noticed that most of you men are forgetting you are men, and have sold out for the "popularity prize among the ladies" ( ohhh we should not ruffle their feathers, BS...I N THIS CASE THEY NEED RUFFELING. You for the most part are trying to look good for them, and wouldn't dare show your butt like my friend Harry did. But, he's got one thing most of you men don't, that's cohunnas! You see, the women will call that a loser, and just blow it off by simply ignoring it (THE POST). Rather clever, don't you think? And, you too are afraid to stand up for the TRUTH. WHY? It isn't popular. And you probably will pay a price for doing so! For one thing, a woman will not tolerate, is being exposed for a weakness, that she believes is a strength (Her false sense of Entitlement). Where they get this from, I have yet to figure out...Well, I sorta have an idea, but that it itself would be another thread. Whoaaaa, but for not one minute, would she refrain from exposing a man's weaknesses, so that she does not have to see her own!
While, it was crude what Harry said, at least he has the cohunes to make what I am sure is an "Unpopular Opinion", however, it has a certain ring of truth in it.
Harry, you think they will get it? Probably not, for they will not admit for the most part that there is a double standard that they are trying to hold us up to. While bashing any man, who has the nerve to question them about it. "Like are you living up to the standards that you are trying to hold me accountable for?
ONE OF THEIR MAIN TACTICS HERE, IS TO JUST IGNORE THE POST AND SAY HE'S JUST A LOSER COMPLAINING. AND BLOWING IT OFF LIKE IT NEVER
WAS POSTED!
Sorta like the way they(MOST) blow men off, when the man emails them and they do not have the manners to write them back! They justify this by saying, well they should just get the message when I don't respond. They just don't get it, never mind the fact that it is not only impolite but straight up rude. (Another example of Entitlement) Kinda makes you wonder if they were taught basic manners when they were growing up. It doesn't matter if your excuse is this is the Internet, it's no excuse for poor, or no manners. BTW, it doesn't matter if you are a man or woman, there is no excuse for a lack of manners. If a little more respect and civility were shown up here, it would be a far more pleasant experience for all.
I KNOW I WAS NOT THE ONLY ONE BROUGHT UP WITH MANNERS!
That being said, I know there are a few (LADIES) whom have matured in life to the point of realizing that (ENTITLEMENT or competition) doesn't exist, and is highly destructive to a relationship. What should be there in the place of it, is mutual respect and honor! BTW , these are the type of LADIES that I would be honored and privileged to meet...
EXPLAIN TO ME THE AMOUNT OF DIVORCES IN THIS COUNTRY.
And no, I am not talking about the adulteries, but the blown marriages... Due to the lack of communication and respect that should be on boths sides of a marriage comittment. Not from blaming each other...How does this effect our children? We tell them to stay married when we justify divorce. Some example we're setting!
BTW MEN, I INVITE YOU TO TELL ME IF I'M FULL OF S**T, or if I am deluded like they are going to say I am, or they are just going to blow this post off because it hit's to close to the truth, and doesn't tickle their ears. OR I DARE HIM TO SAY THAT ABOUT WOMEN,  Don't for get to read the post here ladies...I said that most of you are like that...NOT ALL.
You think about it guys?...In your past relationships if you were not held up to an impossible level of maturity while the whole time the ladies were judging your every action, (while they at the same time did not hold themselves up to their own level of scrutiny) ? All I got to say about this is if I'm lying I'm dying! Man, the women are good at this guys! Real subtle, but you can bet their girlfriends know what a b*stard you are. "They keep moving the field goal posts" by Dr. Laura Slessenger , and think they are "entitled to do this"....When are you guys going to wise up and scream foul? Oh that's right, then you would be called abusive...or a male chauvinst pig...Either way boys, you can't win when the goal posts are being moved, if it gets to close to a guilty conscience. Even here, Dr Laura said that's just the way women are and basically we are suppose to except it! Bull S**T. Whats good for the goose is good for the gander is my motto. And that's my story and I'm sticken to it! Fair play is fair play... Or you can play that game by yourself.
WHAT A RACKET!
Well ladies and gents, ... I guess my view is going to be considered male chauvinistic. I, really don't think so. I am just exposing a "supposed to be hidden attribute". It's sorta like exposing President Bush's arrogance. How do they (His Staff) confront it? Simple, they just turn it around and tell the press saying you are arrogant for exposing them. Besides, he's beyond approach isn't he? And the game goes round and round...
Hey, that might work in politics, but I strongly believe it does NOT belong in a relationship based on love...
I AM JUST SO SICK AND TIRED OF THIS DOUBLE STANDARD CRAP!
How the men are all calloused and cold. And the famous one "Men just don't get it (understand) the feelings of women. That my Lady is a 2 way street! NOT ONEWAY...
YOU GIRLS AIN'T NO LESS SINNERS THAN WE MEN ARE!
The men are not the only ones to blame. Ladies, you hold just as much responsibility for past blown relationships as they do. In other words, you've done your share of burning em, as the men have.
It just amazes me how many women cry foul that they have been ABUSED in a former relationship, as though you never were abusive to your s/o. I say, that for the MOST part this is one of the biggest deceptions going on today, especially in marriages! Really it is tragic, the communication breakdown between men and women. It takes 2 to make it, and it only takes one to blow it. And very seldom is it just one person's fault. Like everything there are rare exceptions.
In closing, first of all I would like to apologize for the length of this POST. However, do to the grievous nature of this subject; me thinks it needs serious addressing.
And just one footnote: You men (Especially) and women that are players and adulterers; you are deluded; if you don't think one day you will be held to account, for the amount of pain and suffering your actions have caused. Not to mention your acts, reflect poorly on the rest of humanity. That is for those who are attempting to live up to ethics and moral values ( In other words, do un to others, as you would have to yourself). .. You have no idea of the damage you are causing not just to your own personal family relationship, but you are contributing to the decline of this county's moral fabric, failed marriages, broken families, dysfunctional children.
Rick the Tensaw Eagle | |
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| Has being online toughened you up emotionally or made you more sensitive?
Posted: 9/8/2007 12:10:42 PM | Hey Ms SugahPieHoneyBunch
I have a question, you said that you were up online a year, but your profile says you just started a few moths ago on here.
Might I suggest you hold your opinion for a wee bit longer here on POF....
Me thinks your givin up way to soon!
One thing this internet dating thing had taught me...
1). You need to have patience...
2). Your only lookin for one person, and there are literally thousands up here...
3). Never give up!!!!!! Ya can't win ifn ya don't play....
Rick, the Tensaw Eagle
btw, I know it's tough...however the alternative is tough to isn't it? | |
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| Has being online toughened you up emotionally or made you more sensitive?
Posted: 9/8/2007 5:07:05 PM | | Online dating has exposed me to some points of view that I never needed to know. I never would have thought of someone referring to my species as "old dogs". Well, it definitely makes me reevaluate why am I even in this pond. I think I am going through an evaluative process and deciding if I want to take the online dating course. My life has been just fine without it. I thought the people here were having more fun. Well, now I don't know what to thing. | |
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| Has being online toughened you up emotionally or made you more sensitive?
Posted: 9/10/2007 12:30:50 PM | | Written words have no correspondence to actually speaking and seeing somebody. I have had people read my writing and get some things and not understand others. We can be selective readers. I think several months have made me think far less of the implications of an exchange until I really meet a person. I couldn't imagine falling in love from a distance, but I can understand really laying a solid foundation for mutual communication and understanding. Love comes when you know the person and not just the words. | |
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| Has being online toughened you up emotionally or made you more sensitive?
Posted: 9/12/2007 6:25:04 AM | Hi Everyone,
Being "tough" is the state of valuing yourself above valuing a relationship. Easy to say but not always so easy to do (for me), but one of the most important gifts we can give ourselves. I already considered myself tough and sensitive. But, I have placed myself on "house arrest" in terms of not getting back into a relationship -- until I myself changed some of my "bad habits" (allowing abuse - emotional and/or verbal). My own experience resulted in my isolation coupled with a lack of trust in my own instincts.
This venue not only is allowing me to meet friends that I wouldn't have been able to meet otherwise (thank you to all my new friends) , but also I can "safely" observe and practice "relating". I can practice being nicely assertive and honoring my "bounderies" without having to directly deal with the "dating bullies".
You know them (male and female) - they manipulate, they bully, they abuse, they whine, they excuse themselves. They are out there and all of us need to know how to deal with them in an effective way without mirroring their behaviors.
I can "practice" identifying those RED FLAGS that are always so clear in hindsight.
With alot of work we can work through anything, as a result I may someday make someone a much better relationship partner. | |
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| Has being online toughened you up emotionally or made you more sensitive?
Posted: 9/12/2007 11:32:09 AM | It's made me very realistic.
In that you can never know who you're typing to anyway.(unless you meet).
So I don't worry whether a complete stranger likes me or not.
I just type and say whatever without emotions even entering into it.
Only if I know ya could I feel somethng. | |
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| Has being online toughened you up emotionally or made you more sensitive?
Posted: 9/13/2007 9:53:35 AM | being online has been good for me, it definitely has opened my eyes and toughened me up. its also been a huge boost to my confidence, not because i now have men banging on my door (i wish ) but because now i can approach people easier and go places that previously i wouldn't have gone.
that first date was the most nerve wracking experience whereas now, i barely give it a thought until its time to get ready. | |
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| Has being online toughened you up emotionally or made you more sensitive?
Posted: 9/18/2007 7:29:29 PM | I find it no different than life as someone else said the good the bad and the ugly. If you deal with people at all this is no different some like you some will try to use you some are so unsure of themselves that things will only go so far before they break off less they be rejected.
Truth; I've met more nice/good people on here than I ever thought I would. Maybe like attract like seems to be that way for me. | |
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| Has being online toughened you up emotionally or made you more sensitive?
Posted: 9/18/2007 7:44:59 PM | I actually didn't know what to expect when I came on here.
I can say I have had a lot of good laughs, met a lot of wonderful people, enjoy the forums.
Toughened up, or more emotionally I don't think it has changed me, just taught me dating on here is much different than it is in the real world, hiding behind a monitor is far from my favorite past time but seems to be many others.
I used to answer all my e-mails at least once just because some one put the effort into writing them,. Maybe I have toughened up a bit in that way. Now if I don't like what they say or come on to me in a way I think its unnecessary, I don't bother to answer and deleted immediately.
I think I prefer to fish on opened turf.
Don't get me wrong I have dated some great guys and most I am still in touch with. | |
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| Has being online toughened you up emotionally or made you more sensitive?
Posted: 9/18/2007 7:53:51 PM | | I yam what I yam, and you can take it or leave it. I do not change my nature every time I enter a new environment. I am tough in those situations/to those people which require tough, and sensitive where sensitive is called for. I am always like that, and do not change in degrees to fit some mask to each new place I visit. | |
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lyndi
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Joined: 7/2/2006
Msg: 137 | |
| Has being online toughened you up emotionally or made you more sensitive?
Posted: 9/19/2007 3:18:39 AM | Dear OP
I am a lot like you. Yes for me I have found that this online thing has toughened me up a bit. I have been through a lot. I totally agree with everything that Ladybabe said that is my experience to a "T". But I am shy and a little less confident than i should be so i just dont meet people and could never just go out and do it. I feel this is my only option and it stinks. In fact i get down right depressed about my probability of even finding a "real" man with "real" feelings for me. But i thought this was the best question ive seen posted in a long time. Good luck to all. | |
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| Has being online toughened you up emotionally or made you more sensitive?
Posted: 9/19/2007 5:45:58 AM | | You have a great attitude. I have no idea of how this works but I'd love your input on how you close your first meeting with a person a. when you would like to see them again and b. when you know you have no interest. Do you find if a guy is interested he will indicate that before you end your meeting or do you think the majority don't want to be the first to make the move and then be rejected? Do you think e-mail is the better way to say you're not interested and if so whats a good way to put it so the person knows they are a valuable and likeable person--ust not who you're looking for. I have no idea where to find the answer you write - maybe clicking on this. | |
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| Has being online toughened you up emotionally or made you more sensitive?
Posted: 9/19/2007 5:54:22 AM | | You have a great attitude. I have no idea of how this works but I'd love your input on how you close your first meeting with a person a. when you would like to see them again and b. when you know you have no interest. Do you find if a guy is interested he will indicate that before you end your meeting or do you think the majority don't want to be the first to make the move and then be rejected? Do you think e-mail is the better way to say you're not interested and if so whats a good way to put it so the person knows they are a valuable and likeable person--ust not who you're looking for. I have no idea where to find the answer you write - maybe clicking on this. | |
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| Has being online toughened you up emotionally or made you more sensitive?
Posted: 9/22/2007 4:28:07 AM | ABSOTIVELY POSILUTELY......
Much more aware of the liars, cheaters and the players, so I have to say sadly..... this place had made me much more aware and guarded.
I will add that this makes it so much harder for the "nice guys" out there to undo what all the others have done....
( nice goin guys) sighhhh | |
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| Has being online toughened you up emotionally or made you more sensitive?
Posted: 9/22/2007 5:10:14 AM | I feel a little differently than some....I won't let strangers from a computer site "toughen" me up. In fact, I don't want to be "tough", I think it closes our heart and soul and doesn't allow us to look at new people we meet with our eyes and hearts wide open. To not trust at the very beginning is a sad way to enter into a realationship. That said, I think I am a good judge of character and do not enter into anything (online or offline) with my eyes NOT wide open. I am not afraid to ask any number of questions before I am comfortable meeting someone or going on a date with a man. I am not afraid to be direct (sometimes stuns them with the questions) and I have a number of direct questions that I think are pretty good at getting the man to open up and answer so that I can determine if their ideals match those that are important to me. I give no hints beforehand.
I have only met one man on here who is local to me (I have only been on a few months) to personally meet with. It was very quickly in relation to our first chat. I never wanted to waste time talking to someone forever who is not compatable with or attractive to me. We seemed to have alot of things in common and have developed a great relationship since then.
I refuse to play the "dating" game or whatever it is called on here. I came here as a woman on a mission. I meet men who were compatable and maybe that one man with whom I am very very compatable with....and I have. Where it will eventually will go, who knows, but I am tremendously enjoying his companionship and the fun that we are having together.
I pray my heart is never tarnished.... | |
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| Has being online toughened you up emotionally or made you more sensitive?
Posted: 9/22/2007 10:03:53 AM | I came into online dating basically never having dated before. I married second man I ever had a relationship with. I was so friggin naive! I though EVERYONE had the same good intentions as myself.... 
It has not made me bitter or cynical, yet, but I definitly don't take things as sensitively as I used too. It's just a person and if they reject you then that just means that you are closer to getting to the one that is right for you! | |
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| Has being online toughened you up emotionally or made you more sensitive?
Posted: 9/22/2007 10:45:03 AM | Being online has neither made me tougher nor sensitive.
However, It's made me laugh at a lot more because of some of the people on here and the things that get said from time to time. People act very different and more open on the net than face to face. it's entertaining to say the least. Did it make me tougher? no. Did i learn a few things from ppls reactions no matter how outrageous & unreasonable they were? depends.
*sigh* in relief that most convos were seperated by a monitor & the internet.
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| Has being online toughened you up emotionally or made you more sensitive?
Posted: 1/17/2008 12:24:47 AM | JJ I agree with you. Many woman have told me i seem very serious or even negative in my typing style. IF you knew me you would know i'm as cheery as they come. Woman play different games than men. But games still. Wouldn't it just be nice to STOP the games and be honest. If i write someone and they respond no thank you i feel its better to say no thank you than just nothing. I can see why the escort market is so popular here in south Florida...I'm one of the nice guys who can't seem to bust through the mess!
I have become very hardened ! But still hopeful! | |
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| Has being online toughened you up emotionally or made you more sensitive?
Posted: 1/17/2008 12:32:27 AM | | its like i indicated in a post lower. The escort market is very popular here in south florida...LOL I am proud to havw read your post and completely agree with it. Most woman i have come into contact with on this sight make up excuses why they can't have the loving man in there life they so look for....I have to laugh. And i'f i get derailed to the ignore list its no worse off....LOL. But if anyone cares to give me a chance i think they'll meet one of the nice guys ! | |
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