| Has being online toughened you up emotionally or made you more sensitive?
Posted: 9/8/2007 12:10:42 PM | Hey Ms SugahPieHoneyBunch
I have a question, you said that you were up online a year, but your profile says you just started a few moths ago on here.
Might I suggest you hold your opinion for a wee bit longer here on POF....
Me thinks your givin up way to soon!
One thing this internet dating thing had taught me...
1). You need to have patience...
2). Your only lookin for one person, and there are literally thousands up here...
3). Never give up!!!!!! Ya can't win ifn ya don't play....
Rick, the Tensaw Eagle
btw, I know it's tough...however the alternative is tough to isn't it? | |
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| Has being online toughened you up emotionally or made you more sensitive?
Posted: 9/8/2007 5:07:05 PM | | Online dating has exposed me to some points of view that I never needed to know. I never would have thought of someone referring to my species as "old dogs". Well, it definitely makes me reevaluate why am I even in this pond. I think I am going through an evaluative process and deciding if I want to take the online dating course. My life has been just fine without it. I thought the people here were having more fun. Well, now I don't know what to thing. | |
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| Has being online toughened you up emotionally or made you more sensitive?
Posted: 9/10/2007 12:30:50 PM | | Written words have no correspondence to actually speaking and seeing somebody. I have had people read my writing and get some things and not understand others. We can be selective readers. I think several months have made me think far less of the implications of an exchange until I really meet a person. I couldn't imagine falling in love from a distance, but I can understand really laying a solid foundation for mutual communication and understanding. Love comes when you know the person and not just the words. | |
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| Has being online toughened you up emotionally or made you more sensitive?
Posted: 9/12/2007 6:25:04 AM | Hi Everyone,
Being "tough" is the state of valuing yourself above valuing a relationship. Easy to say but not always so easy to do (for me), but one of the most important gifts we can give ourselves. I already considered myself tough and sensitive. But, I have placed myself on "house arrest" in terms of not getting back into a relationship -- until I myself changed some of my "bad habits" (allowing abuse - emotional and/or verbal). My own experience resulted in my isolation coupled with a lack of trust in my own instincts.
This venue not only is allowing me to meet friends that I wouldn't have been able to meet otherwise (thank you to all my new friends) , but also I can "safely" observe and practice "relating". I can practice being nicely assertive and honoring my "bounderies" without having to directly deal with the "dating bullies".
You know them (male and female) - they manipulate, they bully, they abuse, they whine, they excuse themselves. They are out there and all of us need to know how to deal with them in an effective way without mirroring their behaviors.
I can "practice" identifying those RED FLAGS that are always so clear in hindsight.
With alot of work we can work through anything, as a result I may someday make someone a much better relationship partner. | |
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| Has being online toughened you up emotionally or made you more sensitive?
Posted: 9/12/2007 11:32:09 AM | It's made me very realistic.
In that you can never know who you're typing to anyway.(unless you meet).
So I don't worry whether a complete stranger likes me or not.
I just type and say whatever without emotions even entering into it.
Only if I know ya could I feel somethng. | |
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| Has being online toughened you up emotionally or made you more sensitive?
Posted: 9/18/2007 7:29:29 PM | I find it no different than life as someone else said the good the bad and the ugly. If you deal with people at all this is no different some like you some will try to use you some are so unsure of themselves that things will only go so far before they break off less they be rejected.
Truth; I've met more nice/good people on here than I ever thought I would. Maybe like attract like seems to be that way for me. | |
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| Has being online toughened you up emotionally or made you more sensitive?
Posted: 9/18/2007 7:44:59 PM | I actually didn't know what to expect when I came on here.
I can say I have had a lot of good laughs, met a lot of wonderful people, enjoy the forums.
Toughened up, or more emotionally I don't think it has changed me, just taught me dating on here is much different than it is in the real world, hiding behind a monitor is far from my favorite past time but seems to be many others.
I used to answer all my e-mails at least once just because some one put the effort into writing them,. Maybe I have toughened up a bit in that way. Now if I don't like what they say or come on to me in a way I think its unnecessary, I don't bother to answer and deleted immediately.
I think I prefer to fish on opened turf.
Don't get me wrong I have dated some great guys and most I am still in touch with. | |
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| Has being online toughened you up emotionally or made you more sensitive?
Posted: 9/18/2007 7:53:51 PM | | I yam what I yam, and you can take it or leave it. I do not change my nature every time I enter a new environment. I am tough in those situations/to those people which require tough, and sensitive where sensitive is called for. I am always like that, and do not change in degrees to fit some mask to each new place I visit. | |
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lyndi
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Joined: 7/2/2006
Msg: 135 | |
| Has being online toughened you up emotionally or made you more sensitive?
Posted: 9/19/2007 3:18:39 AM | Dear OP
I am a lot like you. Yes for me I have found that this online thing has toughened me up a bit. I have been through a lot. I totally agree with everything that Ladybabe said that is my experience to a "T". But I am shy and a little less confident than i should be so i just dont meet people and could never just go out and do it. I feel this is my only option and it stinks. In fact i get down right depressed about my probability of even finding a "real" man with "real" feelings for me. But i thought this was the best question ive seen posted in a long time. Good luck to all. | |
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| Has being online toughened you up emotionally or made you more sensitive?
Posted: 9/19/2007 5:45:58 AM | | You have a great attitude. I have no idea of how this works but I'd love your input on how you close your first meeting with a person a. when you would like to see them again and b. when you know you have no interest. Do you find if a guy is interested he will indicate that before you end your meeting or do you think the majority don't want to be the first to make the move and then be rejected? Do you think e-mail is the better way to say you're not interested and if so whats a good way to put it so the person knows they are a valuable and likeable person--ust not who you're looking for. I have no idea where to find the answer you write - maybe clicking on this. | |
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| Has being online toughened you up emotionally or made you more sensitive?
Posted: 9/19/2007 5:54:22 AM | | You have a great attitude. I have no idea of how this works but I'd love your input on how you close your first meeting with a person a. when you would like to see them again and b. when you know you have no interest. Do you find if a guy is interested he will indicate that before you end your meeting or do you think the majority don't want to be the first to make the move and then be rejected? Do you think e-mail is the better way to say you're not interested and if so whats a good way to put it so the person knows they are a valuable and likeable person--ust not who you're looking for. I have no idea where to find the answer you write - maybe clicking on this. | |
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| Has being online toughened you up emotionally or made you more sensitive?
Posted: 9/22/2007 4:28:07 AM | ABSOTIVELY POSILUTELY......
Much more aware of the liars, cheaters and the players, so I have to say sadly..... this place had made me much more aware and guarded.
I will add that this makes it so much harder for the "nice guys" out there to undo what all the others have done....
( nice goin guys) sighhhh | |
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| Has being online toughened you up emotionally or made you more sensitive?
Posted: 9/22/2007 5:10:14 AM | I feel a little differently than some....I won't let strangers from a computer site "toughen" me up. In fact, I don't want to be "tough", I think it closes our heart and soul and doesn't allow us to look at new people we meet with our eyes and hearts wide open. To not trust at the very beginning is a sad way to enter into a realationship. That said, I think I am a good judge of character and do not enter into anything (online or offline) with my eyes NOT wide open. I am not afraid to ask any number of questions before I am comfortable meeting someone or going on a date with a man. I am not afraid to be direct (sometimes stuns them with the questions) and I have a number of direct questions that I think are pretty good at getting the man to open up and answer so that I can determine if their ideals match those that are important to me. I give no hints beforehand.
I have only met one man on here who is local to me (I have only been on a few months) to personally meet with. It was very quickly in relation to our first chat. I never wanted to waste time talking to someone forever who is not compatable with or attractive to me. We seemed to have alot of things in common and have developed a great relationship since then.
I refuse to play the "dating" game or whatever it is called on here. I came here as a woman on a mission. I meet men who were compatable and maybe that one man with whom I am very very compatable with....and I have. Where it will eventually will go, who knows, but I am tremendously enjoying his companionship and the fun that we are having together.
I pray my heart is never tarnished.... | |
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| Has being online toughened you up emotionally or made you more sensitive?
Posted: 9/22/2007 10:03:53 AM | I came into online dating basically never having dated before. I married second man I ever had a relationship with. I was so friggin naive! I though EVERYONE had the same good intentions as myself.... 
It has not made me bitter or cynical, yet, but I definitly don't take things as sensitively as I used too. It's just a person and if they reject you then that just means that you are closer to getting to the one that is right for you! | |
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| Has being online toughened you up emotionally or made you more sensitive?
Posted: 9/22/2007 10:45:03 AM | Being online has neither made me tougher nor sensitive.
However, It's made me laugh at a lot more because of some of the people on here and the things that get said from time to time. People act very different and more open on the net than face to face. it's entertaining to say the least. Did it make me tougher? no. Did i learn a few things from ppls reactions no matter how outrageous & unreasonable they were? depends.
*sigh* in relief that most convos were seperated by a monitor & the internet.
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| Has being online toughened you up emotionally or made you more sensitive?
Posted: 1/17/2008 12:24:47 AM | JJ I agree with you. Many woman have told me i seem very serious or even negative in my typing style. IF you knew me you would know i'm as cheery as they come. Woman play different games than men. But games still. Wouldn't it just be nice to STOP the games and be honest. If i write someone and they respond no thank you i feel its better to say no thank you than just nothing. I can see why the escort market is so popular here in south Florida...I'm one of the nice guys who can't seem to bust through the mess!
I have become very hardened ! But still hopeful! | |
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| Has being online toughened you up emotionally or made you more sensitive?
Posted: 1/17/2008 12:32:27 AM | | its like i indicated in a post lower. The escort market is very popular here in south florida...LOL I am proud to havw read your post and completely agree with it. Most woman i have come into contact with on this sight make up excuses why they can't have the loving man in there life they so look for....I have to laugh. And i'f i get derailed to the ignore list its no worse off....LOL. But if anyone cares to give me a chance i think they'll meet one of the nice guys ! | |
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| Has being online toughened you up emotionally or made you more sensitive?
Posted: 4/2/2008 8:57:37 AM | Being online has made me tougher..
It has also made me more apreatiative of the wonderful people that I know from the music festivals and rainbow gatherings..
I now realize that there are more flakey people in the world than I previously thought possible...
Not to mention all the bitter women that seem to think the world owes them something..
Do you think some of these BBW people will ever do anything to get in shape so that they will have a chance to find a mate?
It seems that far too many of them just want to rant about others not wanting someone who is very much overweight and obese..
Then there are those that are completely insane..
They just cannot seem to take a good look at themselves and realize that they cannot get or keep a mate because of the things they do...
Everything is always someones fault other than their own...
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