| Disease testing before sex?
Posted: 8/26/2007 7:48:03 AM | Ok I may be way off base here but
First of all let me say it's a requirement if you want to sleep with me and as some of the other posters have stated if my soon to be partner was offended even after you explained your reasons then let them walk away and move on and find someone else. It's your body and you have a right to know what you are putting in it. On the other hand as another poster pointed out, Diseases can lay dormant for a long time and you may have something and not show any symptoms .. Is it then so offensive if your partner wants you to be tested incase you have something you might not even be aware of? Wouldn't you want to know and had that person not asked maybe you'd might not know it if you weren't a regular tester? Getting tested isn't always just so the other person knows what they may or may not be putting into their body rather it's also about YOU (their partner) and helping you educate you yourself about YOUR previous partners whom might have given you something had you not had them tested before you'd gone to bed with them or had not used protection of some kind. ..Also about the whole "don't you trust me" comment trust to me has nothing to do with this Men as well as women are capable of lieing. How do you know your previous partner is telling you the truth? Just because you believe them doesn't mean your truth detector skills are in full effect. Anybody can easily say they are clean and not be. I'd say weather you trust them or not you should still both get tested Seriously, how do you know your soon to be partners' previous partners didn't have anything? What just because they told you they didn't? and as for the comment by the man asking if a woman would be offended by asking to get tested....hell no I wouldn't be offended at all. I fully believe in both parners getting tested before hand. I wouldn't just make the man do it and not turn around and do it myself. If a man asked me to do it I would think either "wow that man must really care about his health and what he's putting into his body and wants to make sure of what he is about to do just like myself" I don't think that he'd be asking me because he thought I'd slept with every guy on the planet. Come on, everyone who knows me knows I'm not a friggen whore so no, I wouldn't be offended if asked. I don't sleep around and so having a man think I'm a whore and wanting me to get tested for that reason would never cross my mind and if it was a reason in his mind I wouldn't date a person like that in the first place. I don't date men who think or would treat me like I'm some sort of whore who sleeps around. | |
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| Disease testing before sex?
Posted: 8/26/2007 8:02:01 AM | What if he thinks you are very active (I won't say whore. Sexually active DOES NOT equal whore.) ? Even if he asks you in a tactful way to get a blood test he may still think that of you and you wouldn't know it.
PS If you would like to dispell that image, I suggest you take down the photos that show you with a different man in each one. That paints a picture, true or not, that you get around.
Even if they are just platonic pals, nobody knows that until they meet you, and that meeting may never happen if they think you have a stable of palaminos you use at your whim. A man could easily think "I don't want to date a girl who is juggling this man guys".
And from a traditional point of view, by the time sex should enter the picture, you should know each other pretty well and this discussion should not hurt. You may have a different perspective given that you are so young, but I am in my mid 50s and left a lot of wild oats all over the US and Canada when I was younger. I get blood tests regularly due to a diabetic condition. And I can't even remember when I last had sex so it's moot for me.
I understand the point of this thread, but the delivery and presentation is the key. One early post went on and on about how she MAKES a man get a STD test. Nobody MAKES me do anything. I'll go without sex for the rest of my life before someone would dictate to me that I MUST do anything.... | |
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| Disease testing before sex?
Posted: 8/26/2007 8:09:14 AM | ^^ I don't and never have had that image put upon me.I never said I was talking about me. Sorry for the confusion I was just saying hypotetically as far as what a man might think about a woman (I didn't mean me). As far as my pictures goes you'd not even be my type if you'd not be so open to realize I might be related to those people or they might just be friends or people I work with so I would never date such a guy who'd think of me as a whore.
so yes by the time the sex enters the picture you'd know me pretty well to know the type of person I am so a discussion such as std testing wouldn't hurt because way before that point you'd know what kind of girl I am. | |
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| Disease testing before sex?
Posted: 8/26/2007 8:48:15 AM | I didn't, but then neither my boyfriend nor I had been with anyone except for our spouses in many, many years -- and we each knew our spouses didn't cheat.
If I'd met someone who had been sexually active outside of a long term relationship, or there was a question his spouse had been -- then I'd absolutely want him tested.
And if he wanted ME tested, even though there's no possibility that I have a disease, I'd be happy to comply.
After all, turn about is fair play.
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| Disease testing before sex?
Posted: 1/26/2008 2:59:30 PM | You really can't get tested for HPV..you can get vaccinated with Gardisil though to prevent HPV. I personally want to get vaccinated with Gardisil even though I am a guy.
The only test you can get is for everything else but HPV.
The diseases out there make me paranoid too. IT is a scary thought.. | |
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| Disease testing before sex?
Posted: 1/26/2008 3:48:55 PM | | I wouldnot have sex with anyone uless we both were checked out,,,,I am in no hurry to die,,,,and people lie and everyone has had 5 lovers and you never know who has it and who does not,,,So good luck and be checked out and certainly have him checked out. | |
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| Disease testing before sex?
Posted: 1/26/2008 3:58:02 PM | | Sweet lil Native is absolutely right. Some things have no symptoms right away, and some don't show up in blood tests until far later in the game. Since things CAN lay dormant for a long time, are you willing to say, so far so good, and chance it? Personally, I haven't had any contact with anyone in years and the last one was my ex, but since he wasn't exclusive and I'm not sure when that may have started, I've recently thought maybe I should go be tested again, even though I'm not even dating at the moment. That way, at least I can rest easier about it. | |
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| Disease testing before sex? /get tested for HPV
Posted: 1/26/2008 4:39:14 PM | Not true. A blood test will tell you if you have been exposed to the virus. Same with dormant herpes (both oral and genital). You may have the virus but no outbreak and therefor can still infect someone who will have an outbreak...
Get the facts - Talk to your Doctor or a sexual health professional. | |
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| Disease testing before sex? / where to go
Posted: 1/26/2008 4:59:43 PM | Totally legitimate request, I personally keep my test results (you can get a print out) and am More then happy to show them.
You can go to your local Planned Parenthood if you do not want to wait for your regular doc.
And FYI, you can at the very least contract Oral Herpes AKA cold sores from kissing....
On the flip side, People that have contracted a disease of the Sexually transmitted kind suffer a lot of unwarranted stigma. They probably did not ask for it or consciously put themselves at risk, shit happens :)
And no I am not of the aforementioned group, but I do believe in NOT passing judgment on such things, if you have been infected it does NOT make you a "bad" person or unattractive. Just be honest and protect others from suffering in your shoes. | |
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| Disease testing before sex? /get tested for HPV
Posted: 1/26/2008 5:04:00 PM | Whats sad is that if you have had sex at "all" then you will have an STD... The only STD's that are known are the ones with visual signs. There are STD's out there which no one knows about, but they have such little effect on the body, that no one really gives a shit. When you have sex, your exposed to a multitude of diseases... Most of which arn't known, since they have very little to no effect on the human body. The diseases that are most well known are herpes, which only have a visual implication (they arn't harmful to the body in the traditional, self destructive act) and HIV, which does NOT have a big visual implication, but does have a very huge self destructive act. All the others are curable or have such little implication on the body that it doesn't really matter in the long run. Gonoriah (sp?) is curable, so is siphilis. Both of those can have long term effects, but taken care of soon can lead to a cure.
The only STD to be scared to shit of is HIV, which can lead to an early grave. But recent medical advancements have given people with HIV a longer life span.
Herpes isn't much of a problem anymore and in the coming years, it will soon die out. Scientists have developed an anti-body which can prevent people with it from OBTAINING herpes, but it will not cure it. However, if everyone has this anti-body, the only ones with herpes will eventually die leading to the death of herpes as well... Which means that an actual "cure" is not really needed.
Just passing a little bit of my knowledge onto PoF. =) | |
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| Disease testing before sex? /get tested for HPV
Posted: 1/26/2008 6:30:42 PM | There are over 20 STIs, some caused by bacteria and some by viruses. You can't test for all of them. For each, there is a period of time from infection to symptoms if there are any. So, the thing to do is get tested and ask a partner to get tested for the usual ones, like gonorrhea and chlamydia. A poster asked what you would do if someone had an STI. Since chlamydia often has no symptoms, (50% in men; 80% in women) she might not know she had it. But then, she can get treated with antibiotics and get rid of it. For someone who shares needles or works, shares straws or bills for cocaine, they also need to be tested for hepatitis B and C.
You wait the three month window period before getting tested for HIV. As for HPV, it is often transient. Herpes, unfortunately, is for life although many people find they have fewer outbreaks as they get older.
There is no such thing as a clean bill of health in terms of STIs. You do the best you can with what you can find out. Even if a person has a copy of their test results, they still have to be faithful for the duration of the relationship. That's where the mutual respect and open communication come in. If you decide to stop using condoms after you are reasonably sure of each other's STI status and birth control is not an issue, it's a mutual decision.
Good luck, OP. | |
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| Disease testing before sex? /get tested for HPV
Posted: 1/26/2008 6:35:51 PM | One day it will be illegal to have sex without a scan card to prove your health status.As well you will have to scan your card in order to unlock your chastity belt!  | |
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| Disease testing before sex? /get tested for HPV
Posted: 1/27/2008 6:39:34 AM | Scan card would be a remarkable invention.
Using condoms is not protected sex. It is somewhat protected but not completely protected sex. you can contract herpes even if the person had a condom. The Herpes virus could be dormant. your protecting yourself from all the other STDs except Herpes and HPV. | |
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| Disease testing before sex?
Posted: 1/27/2008 6:56:34 AM | | Absolutely! Stick to your beliefs/values. I've been practicing celibacy ( won't write how long ) and Mr.Right will respect it or not. There are some diseases out there, Ajax won't remove. Testing is smart and won't offend the right partner. | |
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| Disease testing before sex?
Posted: 1/27/2008 4:17:14 PM | This may be off topic, just wondering if anyone heard of this?
I like to stay responsible in this dept, but about a yr ago I went to a local clinic to get the tests done, the doctor on hand (no pun intended) refered me to the free clinic at the hospital because if I followed through with the tests at the health clinic or doctors office, I would be classed as high risk with insurance companies and either pay a higher rate or even be refused insurance. The free clinic is all anonymous by the way... number not name. The doctor also told me that they are supposed to tell you that but rarely do.
I'm a little concerned that I could possibly catch some nasty shit because someone decided to NOT get tested, because she was worried about her state farm policy. And I wonder if state farm was wearing a condom when they screwed me :(
Ontario by the way | |
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| Disease testing before sex?
Posted: 1/27/2008 4:45:58 PM | I don't require disease testing but I do ask that the woman has experience, a stable work history and at least 4 references....
You can't ever be too careful... | |
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| Disease testing before sex?
Posted: 1/27/2008 4:51:34 PM | | Anyone who thinks that a question like that is out of the... er... question or offensive doesn't respect you/themselves and is probably hiding something. | |
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| Disease testing before sex? /get tested for HPV
Posted: 1/27/2008 4:52:28 PM | Just to clarify, guynext door: ["Using condoms is not protected sex. It is somewhat protected but not completely protected sex. you can contract herpes even if the person had a condom. The Herpes virus could be dormant. your protecting yourself from all the other STDs except Herpes and HPV.]
You're right that using condoms is a form of safer sex, not safe sex. In terms of contracting herpes, the issue is not latency: it's position. HSV-2 hangs out in the ganglia at the base of the spine and every now and again comes to the skin's surface and sheds virus. Condoms will protect against the virus for the parts that are covered. Same goes for HPV. | |
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| Disease testing before sex?
Posted: 1/27/2008 4:56:22 PM | | rgriff, I am wondering where you live in Ontario. In our Toronto Public Health clinic, people get tested for all kinds of STIs, including HIV. No one has access to our results: they are in locked filing cabinets. No insurance company can ask for results. We have nominal testing; i.e., your name is on the file. The only issue is if a person has an STI, they will get a call from an STI nurse to make sure you and your partner(s) got treated. | |
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| Disease testing before sex?
Posted: 1/27/2008 6:27:25 PM | TOwoman1... I'm from Hamilton... I don't think the issue had anything to do with the results. I think it was just the simple fact of being there in the first place to get the tests (risk patterns). I'm not sure how it works, but if it went through the health card I think they (insurance comp) can find out what your generally "up to" (now i sound like a conspiracy nut) I'm lead to believe that's why they created the free clinics number not name thing in the first place, not because the person sitting next to you might know your mom.
Its the same principal as if you where in an institution for say mental illness or addiction rehab. They can find out if they feel like checking. It all sounded kinda odd at the time, I wasn't really paying too much attention though because I had a cup of my own urine in my hand at the time. | |
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| Disease testing before sex?
Posted: 1/27/2008 7:27:26 PM | I find it VERY interesting that I asked this question a couple weeks ago and got totally different answers.
Is it because a woman asked it? | |
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| Disease testing before sex?
Posted: 2/17/2008 6:33:34 AM | can you gett herpes 1 from kissing someone without a cold sore...
Since i got tested I kissed two people I hardly knew which was really pathetic. | |
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| Disease testing before sex?
Posted: 10/8/2008 4:51:35 PM | | In my opinion, it should be required. From both parties. Way too risky out there. Even if you haven't been with anyone in a long time, the last person you were with could have had something you weren't aware of. | |
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| Disease testing before sex?
Posted: 10/9/2008 9:56:12 PM | | I carry a blood donor card with current dates on it. I find it a more suave way to address the issue. This means I don't have hep, aids, or any other blood transmittable diseases. I'm healthy as an ox and I like to share my health. | |
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