| Should women write first?
Posted: 1/29/2008 8:30:01 PM |
Its just that I am not that easily impressed.
Hmm, funny, me neither ---- with things like, oh, rudeness, disrespectfulness , vanity,
pompousness....
Yes OP, women should write first ... if they want to.
And men should write first ... if they want to.
Or we could just sit and wait and hope that something good happens I suppose.... | |
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| Should women write first?
Posted: 1/29/2008 11:11:22 PM | I look at it this way.. women here, get too much mail as it is, from what I get out of reading the forums. They spend their time filtering out form e-mails, not-so-great one-liners, the standard creepy "hey, let's F--k," etc. I'm NOT going to wait in line while they do it, decide if they should grace me with a responce, etc. I figure if she likes what she reads, likes what she sees, or likes my postings in the forum, she will drop me a quick line to let me know, and I write back. I don't think it a bad thing, I write women every now & again to compliment them on their profile, or a funny header. Sometimes I get an answer, sometimes I don't. Canadian women seem to like me more than US women.. I don't know if they're not as hung-up about who writes first, because of cultural differences, or there's something in the water. (if it's the water, I want some though! ) You can't go by photos,.. you can find a VERY pretty woman, click on a profile & get "All men are pigs, and I don't know why I bother, but if you wish to write,..I MAY answer" Then, there are women that don't get My satirical-wit or humor (just had one of those) Either way, just like in real-life, it's a crap shoot. If nothing else, I've learned I can move to Canada & enjoy the water!   | |
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| Should women write first?
Posted: 2/2/2008 8:25:57 AM |
The ones you find attractive aren't attracted to you and vice verse.
Ah, but once in awhile it does work both ways! Just don't waste too many of your resources in the meantime.
Who cares who writes who first. No big deal either way. | |
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| Should women write first?
Posted: 2/2/2008 8:38:11 AM | | It's not about who writes first, but just understanding the 'rules'. I'm the real world if you say 'Hi' to someone and they just look at you with out answering, what do you think? But it is perfectly acceptable to do that online. I never get that, but it is what it is. A for women getting flooded with emails, the one's I have talked to say they did when they started, but it died off after a month. One suggestion I heard was to make it so you had to answer an email once it's open. You could use a preformed answer. Not that I'm for it, but it's a thought. | |
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| Should women write first?
Posted: 2/2/2008 8:45:00 AM | | Why do people put other people on their favorites list when they don't even know them? How can they possibly be a "favorite" when you have never even emailed each other. They could be your least favorite. I have seen some women's profiles and they tell the guys not to put them on their favorites list. | |
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jf468
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Joined: 12/4/2007
Msg: 58 | |
| Should women write first?
Posted: 2/2/2008 9:25:15 AM | If I was single and saw a man's profile that I liked, I would have NO problems contacting him. The worse thing that could happen is read/deleted or a 'No thanks' response. If a man ever did respond to me in a rude way, then I obviously wouldn't want to be with him anyways.
I think that a lot of people both men and women often write to someone they have no chance to meet. For example if an unattractive man writes me I just usually delete it. Sorry looks are important, and at least I am honest. I think both sexes sometimes contact people that don't find them attractive, If they would choose someone more on their attractiveness level they would probably be more successful in getting replies. for example Fred Flintstone should not contact Barbie just like Ms. Piggy should not contact Brad Pitt feelings are likely to be hurt
Unless a woman has her physical requirements mentioned on her profile, how is a man suppose to know that a woman definitely wouldn't be attracted to him. A man that is unattractive to me could be very attractive to another woman. I would consider you to be unattractive. But I wouldn't tell you not to contact a man that you think is attractive. There is always a chance that he could be attracted to you. | |
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| Should women write first?
Posted: 2/2/2008 9:53:53 AM | I believe:
- Women should feel comfortable approaching men online.
- Politicians should be honest.
- People should treat other people as equals; regardless of race, creed, and appearance.
- All countries should stop fighting with their neighbors.
Meanwhile, welcome to reality. | |
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| Should women write first?
Posted: 2/2/2008 10:06:14 AM | I have NO problems with contacting men first, why would i if i find someone looks interesting to me 
We have 21 century and if girl is waiting for some prince who will knock her door she may become alone. | |
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| Should women write first?
Posted: 2/2/2008 11:17:10 AM | | Isna, I contacted you polskaland princesss and you were very nice.. see guys they don't bite.. | |
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| Should women write first?
Posted: 2/2/2008 12:01:15 PM | Hi Jimmi! hehehe, i answered on your message.
By the way WHO doesn`t bite?  | |
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| Should women write first?
Posted: 2/2/2008 12:05:30 PM | | I have recieved more rude an inspiring messages than most realize. I am the type that if I am really interested in someone, I make the move by messaging them. If they don't reply, no hard feelings, I just move on. | |
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| Should women write first?
Posted: 2/2/2008 12:07:01 PM | Diamond dog
You will get mails from women who are obviusly unsuitable for you or you will get mails from women when you already have a gf.
Obviously you will be telling these womsn "no thanks". The fragile female ego can't handle a no thanks no matter how cilil and polite it is. The men are bad enough when they are knocked back . The women are worse. | |
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| Should women write first?
Posted: 2/2/2008 1:28:12 PM | From the Opost:
"...Well, I have a suggestion that might help out with all these problems. How about if women made the first contact?..."
I agree, as long as they do not limit their intro/icebreaking mail to "Gee (or Hi), ur cute". 2-3 sentences would do. | |
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| Should women write first?
Posted: 2/2/2008 2:51:35 PM | If I am interested I will write a guy first. It's not a big deal. It's real simple, if you're interested write the person, regardless if it's guy or girl who writes first. Who cares, as long as you show interest if you have it, right!?!?  | |
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| Should women write first?
Posted: 2/2/2008 3:08:43 PM | You got it , whataya , I respond to and initiate emails in pretty much equal ratio , even the ones that go "HI , HW R U ? . 
And I accept that my outrageous sense of humour is not going to appeal to everyone , but still my heart goes on .... or something. | |
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| Should women write first?
Posted: 2/2/2008 3:15:40 PM | whatayathink i wrote you and told you what i think and you also were very nice.
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| Should women write first?
Posted: 2/2/2008 4:23:17 PM | In September of 2006 I created a profile on POF and two days later I found a profile of this guy that made me laugh just reading his profile and he was really cute too!! I messaged him first, a week later we went on a date and it's a year and four months later and we built a house together and I could imagine myself with anyone else!!
Had I not messaged him first I'm not sure we would have ever ended up together and as happy as we are!!
Sometimes it pays to take the initiative ladies! | |
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| Should women write first?
Posted: 2/2/2008 4:34:27 PM | "Had I not messaged him first I'm not sure we would have ever ended up together and as happy as we are!!
Sometimes it pays to take the initiative ladies! "
That's a great story, Tracey, thanks for sharing that!! And best wishes for continued happiness for you both.  | |
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| Should women write first?
Posted: 2/2/2008 4:51:12 PM | This thread is showing all kinds of different emotions and logical responses!!!
I must be in a totally different sandbox...
It honestly did not occur to me who wrote first. I sometimes send a message to a gentleman that "catches my fancy"... Either his profile has a certain "Je ne sais quoi." or is reeks of tostesterone... (It just does ok... Deal with it people!!!  )
I have also receive polite messages. It is sort of a ying and yang process.
I have recieved responses that stated very politely, thanks but no thanks and I have also done the same... This is hit and miss. True, it feels awkward at first...
I am naturally outgoing and when I am in a social setting, I am also that way. I approach or I am approached.
I must say though... I prefer to be a predator rather than a prey...
The best fun is to have a predator going after an other predator... That is fun!!! 
Ok... enough sillyness...
(By the by, please excuse my grammar... I am French... I have to go out soon and I do not have time to change my computer to the language of Shakespear...  ) | |
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| Should women write first?
Posted: 2/2/2008 5:56:30 PM | | I think that the notion that men have to be the 'chasers' in a relationship was out of date at about the point and time when humans learned to speak in anything more then guttoral grunts. If you're interested in someone, then let them know you're interested. Simple as that. | |
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| Should women write first?
Posted: 2/2/2008 6:21:27 PM | "That's interesting, as the men I've contacted first, after viewing their profiles and finding numerous things in common based on our profiles, never replied, lol..."
Yeah, you're not alone proliberate. And to the poster above, someone forgot to tell the guys that they didn't need to do the hunting anymore and that it was ok for initial contact to come from women. Because from what I have read and experienced, a whole lot of your brothers don't know that. | |
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| Should women write first?
Posted: 2/2/2008 8:09:49 PM | I guess this is a no-win situation. I don't have my profile up because I don't want to weed through the responses.
But if I contact a guy it doesn't work because he is not the one pursuing me. I know guys like to be contacted but my own experience rate has been much more successful when the guy contacts me rather than vice versa.
No wonder its so hard to date on line.  | |
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