| Should women write first?
Posted: 3/3/2008 9:06:27 PM | | What is it about North American culture that has resulted in men being like this? So pouty about the whole romancing thing. I'm sure Italian men, and Latino men get their advances rejected all the time, but that doesn't cause them to just give up on the whole thing. I bet it is still a desirable thing in other countries to be good with women. It's like men don't want to be men here, but just big babies who get everything done for them. | |
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| Should women write first?
Posted: 3/3/2008 9:08:59 PM |
It's like men don't want to be men here, but just big babies who get everything done for them.
So, they want to become women? | |
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| Should women write first?
Posted: 3/3/2008 9:11:09 PM |
It's like men don't want to be men here, but just big babies who get everything done for them.
Huge overgeneralization. You're whining about the whiners. | |
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| Should women write first?
Posted: 3/3/2008 9:13:00 PM | | I don't know what women you know, but the women I know do everything for everyone else first. Look at most dual income couples, and you'll see the woman is doing the bulk of the housework and childrearing on top of her job. The least a guy can do is make the first move! lol | |
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| Should women write first?
Posted: 3/3/2008 9:14:21 PM | ya know theres NOTHIN wrong with the woman writin first
and women who **** bout too many emails unsolicited or not need to shut the hell up
if they dont expect to be approached y be on here
i think the ones who complain dont get ENUFF emails and r 'frontin'
whateva
y dont women do the honorable and CORRECT thing and reply either way TRUTHFULLY wow what a concept
kathi | |
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| Should women write first?
Posted: 3/3/2008 9:22:03 PM |
I don't know what women you know, but the women I know do everything for everyone else first.
Yeesh, that's awful. It's a shame they can't put themselves first.
Look at most dual income couples, and you'll see the woman is doing the bulk of the housework and childrearing on top of her job.
Yeesh again. These women should do everything in their power to change such an unfortunate situation they've found themselves in.
The least a guy can do is make the first move! lol
Well, in life, deciding what you want and going for it is a great thing. If women haven't grasped that concept yet and are content to sit back and wait for the men to come to them, then I kinda feel bad for them. | |
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| Should women write first?
Posted: 3/3/2008 9:24:16 PM | I don't write first... I initially did this as I was looking for friendship, I find that they either end up read/deleted or unread/deleted. May be it's sumthg in my profile or pics, dunno... I just don't do it anymore. I just enjoy the forums  | |
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| Should women write first?
Posted: 3/3/2008 9:27:37 PM | The absolute answer is Yes and No,  it appears people want to build up a stable of contact ,then pick and chose when to contact the person they might be interested in.
This may be the best way. If everyone liked the same person, a whole lot of us would be alone.
Are we here to upgrade our quality of life, by having multiple choices, based on looks, ,intelligent, financial stability, health, interest,location and how easy they are to control.
Get out your list of pre qualification: must make me laugh; be fun; good lover; good listener,sensitive, buy me; feed me; take me (these are both men and women attributes).
A typical real time day; sleep 7 hours; love making 1 hour; work 9 hours: 7 hours of looking at each other. It's the 7 hours that can be the problem.
No one is perfect but many think the want and know what perfection is. Being flexible is great, growing and changing together is better.
Should the woman write first, I say "YES" YES" YES", I want to pick and chose.
Love is the only important force in live, find out what you love and you will know who you are.  | |
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| Should women write first?
Posted: 3/3/2008 9:55:24 PM |  wawawah, big babies.  That's about the level of this discussion now anyhow. What I was bringing up in my post was serious though - I am interested in a cross-cultural comparison of wooing skills amongst men in different countries. Why is it that men here (in this thread) want the women to be asking? What makes them so reluctant to accept a role that men in other countries take for granted? Do they take rejection more personally? | |
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| Should women write first?
Posted: 3/3/2008 10:02:49 PM | wawawah, big babies. That's about the level of this discussion now anyhow. What I was bringing up in my post was serious though - I am interested in a cross-cultural comparison of wooing skills amongst men in different countries. Why is it that men here (in this thread) want the women to be asking? What makes them so reluctant to accept a role that men in other countries take for granted? Do they take rejection more personally?
Well, many other countries have oppressive ideas of what the roles of women should be. Sure, let's continue to be old fashioned. Men should make the first move. And women should stay home, have babies, obey their husband, do all the housework, not vote, etc, etc.
Or do you simply enjoy old fashioned values that benefit you as opposed to the ones that oppress you?
Perhaps encouraging women to make the first move and be proactive is a positive step in the ongoing quest for equality among the sexes. Doesn't sound like a bad idea to me.
That said, I'm happy to make the first move and never expect it from women. Perhaps one day they'll become more enlightened, though. | |
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| Should women write first?
Posted: 3/3/2008 10:22:34 PM | I will reply if the girl is interesting me or not ONLY if she really made an effort to write to me and that I obviously see it.
If she interests me, I will keep the discussion, if not I will tell her but I will be gentle and try to be positive as much as I can.
If I notice she wrote 1-2 line that either are too common or copy pasted, I'm not wasting my time and I just don't respond.
Most girls seems to not take too much time to write to guys so most of the time I just don't respond at all. | |
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| Should women write first?
Posted: 3/3/2008 11:08:27 PM | I think since women can't handle rejection as much as men can and since woman don't want to feel insecure, they tend to not contact first.  | |
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| Should women write first?
Posted: 3/3/2008 11:09:01 PM | I think if someone interests you, you should write a message to them. Waiting around hoping they message you is a waste of time. We aren't in ye olden days or anything like that. It's 2008 and there's been all this fuss over women being equal. Why should men have all the pressure?
I write messages to people that interest me, they go read with no reply or read/deleted. Does that stop me? No, but after so much I do stop sending messages and after so much wasted time and effort, my messages seem to get more and more half assed.
If someone interests you, stop being fussy and message them! What a concept that is. Men get this all the time and since we're sending the majority of messages, we get to deal with the no reply issue a hell of a lot more than any women do. Welcome to our world.
How would anything work if everyone just sat around waiting for other people to message them? This wouldn't really go too well if that's how it worked. Someone has to take the initiative, regardless of gender. | |
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| Should women write first?
Posted: 3/4/2008 3:52:07 AM | | I have a date because I contacted him first. There have been a ton of rejections. | |
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j600i
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Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 115 | |
| Should women write first?
Posted: 3/22/2008 9:27:01 AM | | I think it's actually best for women to write first. They tend to not appreciate men who write to them first anyway, they tend to think that anyone available so easily is not such a prize. A man has to be really attractive to get replies from women he writes to first - or really lucky. (Just my experience) | |
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| Should women write first?
Posted: 3/22/2008 11:18:41 AM | | I like to recieve email but I am not shy about sending out a message to someone who's profile intriges me... I do have standards though... I will not respond to any message that says "Hi Sexy" or "Nice Hooters", etc... How rude... | |
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| Should women write first?
Posted: 3/22/2008 11:45:04 AM |
OP, that might work, except that many times when a woman does that the guys don't answer them back either, lol.
Newsflash.........I've wrote to several men and never got a response
Deal with it, men get the same thing too.
Why is it that men here (in this thread) want the women to be asking? What makes them so reluctant to accept a role that men in other countries take for granted? Do they take rejection more personally?
I believe women may not get a quality guy if they just sit back & just look in their inbox. Lots of people on here want just sex, friends with benefits, crazies....so women spend a lot of time weeding out what they want throwing out the rest.
I think women rely too much on their inbox. They could spend their time finding what THEY are looking for right off the bat.
Do they take rejection more personally?
It seems at times women are the ones who don't handle rejection well. They get frustrated after a few weeks for what guys have been doing from the very beginning.
Look at most dual income couples, and you'll see the woman is doing the bulk of the housework and childrearing on top of her job. The least a guy can do is make the first move! lol
Oh, I've had more then my fair share of dirty diapers, washing dishes, laundry as well as most of my friends & coworkers. Enjoyed every minute of it too, as far as raising the children anyway.
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| Should women write first?
Posted: 3/22/2008 7:41:39 PM | | fabulous,,,,you a real pain in the ass,,god,,magine being married to you | |
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| Should women write first?
Posted: 3/22/2008 9:09:36 PM | | I usually contact men I'm interested in. It works out better that way... | |
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| Should women write first?
Posted: 8/13/2009 8:05:30 PM | | I have written to several men here and I have not gotten any responses to my emails, or no one has written to me. I dont think my profile is that bad and I think I have a picture on there. So I dont know if I want to respond to any more profiles. I am getting pretty discouraged. So you tell me? | |
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| Should women write first?
Posted: 8/13/2009 8:17:34 PM |
Honestly I don't write to men first.....
Think of what you could be missing! Take the risk, the results couldn't be worse than they are now. | |
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| Should women write first?
Posted: 8/13/2009 8:30:23 PM | I've written lot's of guys here on POF and have been ignored too so I have very little empathy for men whining why the top 500 hot girls on POF don't write them back. Yawn. Women can write to men, but if they aren't his target woman (ie; young, thin, busty, blond) - he will just ignore them.
It's the nature of the beast. Hit on every good looking prospect at a bar and see if your odds are any better. | |
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| Should women write first?
Posted: 8/13/2009 8:30:58 PM | I have tried this in the past and it doesn't seem to work very well and I am not sure why.
Because it makes perfect sense to me in fact I think that sometimes people favorite you so that you will know they are interested but in the past when I have written someone that favored me they have not responded ?????? and this has me at a total loss for what exactly they are looking for here. I have read this in the forums from other women also so I know that I am not alone here. | |
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| Should women write first?
Posted: 8/13/2009 8:46:26 PM | Many women believe that if a man does not approach her it means that he is not interested.
If a woman does not contact a man (that she likes) it could be that she is old-fashioned.
But what possible reason does a man have for not contacting a woman in whom he is interested? | |
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| Should women write first?
Posted: 8/13/2009 9:09:42 PM |
Because it makes perfect sense to me in fact I think that sometimes people favorite you so that you will know they are interested but in the past when I have written someone that favored me they have not responded ?????? and this has me at a total loss for what exactly they are looking for here.
I've had people favorite me and not respond also. I wondered about this until I noticed that when you are looking at profiles under the "My Matches" menu, at the bottom the "Add to Favorites" is right above "Remove from my matches". They could be hitting the wrong button by mistake. | |
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