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| | Sex with minorsPage 27 of 35 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35) | | I don't think it's acceptable, but in many states it's perfectly legal. Unfortunately more states than not it would be legal. | |
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| Sex with minors
Posted: 1/28/2008 10:31:21 AM | | Yes, the state should get involved in the personal lives of its citizens. Here in North America, we don't believe in Freedom. Those Heathen Europeans and their sexual freedom. We believe in repression, but not too much because we aren't like the Taliban. We believe in controlling the thoughts and activities of our people and that of other people in other countries. But we're not communists. We're always right. And we believe in Freedom | |
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| Sex with minors
Posted: 1/30/2008 12:39:23 AM |
Pardon my lack of eloquence in saying this but, WHAT THE FU*K are you TALKING ABOUT?
Either way kids that age SHOULDNT BE HAVING SEX AT ALL!
I think back to all those mistakes I made as a youth, that shit damaged me.
THERE IS TOO MUCH TO BE WORRIED ABOUT PREPARING FOR AT THAT AGE TO BE SCREWING. IT takes your mind off the thing you NEED to be focused on...
Not to manage it stifles intellectual growth, and maturity.
It also give kids a false sense of maturity. E.G I am not an adult, but I do as adult do, so I must be. So they g about making adult descisions in other aspects of their lives.
Get a nasty "I am not that young" complex.
And screw up their lives.
The only people who AGREE with it being ok to screw at that age, are pervs, and people who did it them selves..
And those arent typically people who are gaingully employeed...or own homes.
I don't know what it is about this post, but something about it just nailed it home for me - it really, really freaks me out that there are people who think they have the right to say what someone can and cannot do with their own body.
So you made mistakes as a teenager - so what? Most people do. I can't think of a whole lot that I made, personally, but that's just me. The only "wild" thing I ever did was have sex young, and move out young. And I'm a university student living in a condo with my roommate, have had a few long term relationships, and make enough money to put away several hundred a month. On top of all that, I've never committed a crime in my life (beyond the usual 8 year old stealing a candy bar story). I'd like to see the results of the survey you've conducted, asking people at what age they started having sex and categorizing them by how you measure their success in life. | |
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| Sex with minors
Posted: 1/30/2008 1:17:30 AM |
Perhaps it's because you don't have an 11 year old daughter? Which I DO. This is just a guess, but if you put yourself in my position, knowing that your daughter will soon be "old enough to bleed...", it would most likely make you want to vomit, too.
You're right... I don't have an 11 year old daghter... I have two 11 year old sisters if that counts? I WAS 11 under a decade ago... I probably heard that phrase for the first time when I was 11 too..
I just absolutly can't figure out how anybody can feel the need to react SO violently to it. or how anybody hasn't heard it before. I've heard it and seen it before in a million different places.
And it's not like I live in a big city... I live in a VERY small town, and I've heard it.
Besides.. you KNOW she said it just too see you all freak out. it's called 'Shock value' my friends... it get's used alot... not so much in person... but very much so on the inter-butts. | |
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| Sex with minors
Posted: 1/30/2008 2:37:23 AM |
Besides.. you KNOW she said it just too see you all freak out. it's called 'Shock value' my friends... it get's used alot... not so much in person... but very much so on the inter-butts.
We have all heard it....difference is, some of us believe it's true, and pass on that same mentality and method of thinking onto our children (that's the disturbing part)....and MOST of us are educated enough to know better than to view a young girl having her period in such a trashy way that her value as a 'young woman' is all about the fact that she can now have sex and bear children.....i feel so sorry for any child that has parents with that mentality, coz she will most likely emulate this example by believing it's ok to go out there and have unsafe sex with people, get pregnant probably at a very young age just coz 'mum says it's ok, if you can bleed, you can breed'.......what a shitty role model and this poor child ends up believing this is 'normal' and so the tragic cycle continues......
you call it 'shock value'...i call it sad and so very very ignorant...
re the original topic about the 25 yo with a 17 yo......Mahogany rush, i totally agree with you..........just because something is LEGAL, doesn't necessarily make it RIGHT.....if someone is pursuing a person who is still a teenager, you have to question their 'real intention'........are they really 'into' the person or are they just a creepy perve trying to take advantage of a younger/naive/impressionable/inexperienced person???.... | |
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| Sex with minors
Posted: 1/30/2008 6:58:08 AM | well as is obvious from 27 pages this is a highly EMOTIVE subject.
RATIONALITY has gone out of the window.
If you have a teen daughter, fact is that she gets horny. You might not like that. You might have brought her up so she knows how to deal with it properly. It doesn't stop it.
Societal stereotyping doesn't help either. If a 16 year old boy is caught having sex with a 16 year old girl, the boys father has more than a touch of 'thats my boy' about it all and the girl's is horrified. If an 18 year old male has had 20 partners, no one thinks much of it. If an 18 year old female has, she is a slut. Errrrrrrr hang on, don't the males need females to have sex with?
A friend of mine has a 15 year old step daughter. One evening she had a 15 year old friend over for a sleepover. The following morning he was taking a shower, and the friend burst in naked with him.. He had the good sense to refuse her - but the fact is that this sort of thing DOES happen, and its NOT all about predatory men being after young girls in a sick way. Chances are that your little teen girl angel actually is no angel. Parents are the worst at seeing their child grow up because they don't want to accept it.
I met my 12 year old female cousin the other day for the first time in about five years. Now I KNOW she is 12 - but the fact is that to look at her - and indeed to see how she behaves - she could easily be mistaken for 20. She got as flirty as one as well. She knew EXACTLY what she was doing. Her mother just can't see that.
Don't get me wrong here - I am NOT endorsing sex with minors. I simply wish that many folks out there could just simply get that its not all about their not so innocent daughter being corrupted. | |
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| Sex with minors
Posted: 1/30/2008 9:28:06 AM | some interesting and valid points Farmerboy, that some of these minors aren't innocent, but I like to add its up to the adult to exercise control, Ive been in that situation 5 years ago going over to a teammates place and his 17 year old step daughter was coming on to me, that was creepy to me, and I still said HELL NO, im not interested in becoming a guest of the government because of a romp in the hay with a minor, not this guy. Im sure part of my decision had to do with values and other part of the equation Im not into youngins,now if she was my age or within 5 years or so Hell yes I would be all over her like a fat kid on a smartie.
Adults are accountable for the behavior , Minors are not, they should be but in reality there not. | |
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| Sex with minors
Posted: 1/30/2008 9:40:32 AM | So is sex a good thing or a bad thing? Make up your minds people!
Or is it really a case of do as I say not as I do. Because we know better than you. | |
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| Sex with minors
Posted: 1/30/2008 10:55:15 AM | Oh yes it IS up to the adult.
However, the adult cannot really exercise realistic control if he or she has rose tinted ideas about their daughter. Control is much more likely to be effective if it revolves around involving the child rather than imposing on her. Lets face it, kids of that age WILL do what they want somehow if they are determined enough. You can't have a straight talk about the dangers of early sex if you cannot accept the possibility that early sex might happen. | |
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dijobe
| | Joined: 2/22/2006
Msg: 660 | |
| Sex with minors
Posted: 1/30/2008 12:16:39 PM | Well, the OP had a vaild reason for asking others opinions and stated his opinion very succently. If the girl 0f 17 in a committed type relationship with a guy of 25 and has been for some time, it is bound to happen anyway. But the over riding fact is that minors do not normally have the maturity and restrain of adults, no matter what you say or do, it is not a good idea for minor girls to have sex at random with adult men.
Too much is at stake against her, risk of STD's, emotional disorders, psych dysfunctions, and also one not much talked about but is a fact and that is the human skin stretches like a rubber band over time, and a promiscuous minor girl will have her vagina stretched to a point that when she does eventually later on find the prince charming, he may not want to deal with her after the first sex. She may never know why, how can a guy tell a lady that her vagina is too large for him ? Senior women have this problem more so than young ones.
Ladies have options for tummy tucks, butt tucks, breast reduction etc, but I've never seen an option of vagina shrinking, although Grandma and pioneer women knew how to handle this with 'alum douches' every so often.
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EH1
| | Joined: 1/8/2008
Msg: 661 | |
| Sex with minors
Posted: 1/30/2008 3:09:10 PM | | To my understainding, if the girl is 17 and the guy is in his 20's then unless the parents would press charges I don't think that there is anything immoral about it. In fact, some guys in their 20's are still like a 17 year old in some respects so I don't think that it is horribly peverse and immoral if the girl really wants to. I think it is immoral when the guy is grown up enough to know and really understand the danger and lonelyness that a sex addiction brings on people and use uses a younger girl for sex and leaves her with that addiciton. | |
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| Sex with minors
Posted: 1/31/2008 10:21:44 PM | Yorkie rich
I agree with your post 100%! anything like this reeks of pedifile! | |
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| Sex with minors
Posted: 1/31/2008 11:43:39 PM | | Well, where I'm from, the age of consent is 14. Most of my friends were sexually active even before that! Also, the term you're looking for is ephebophilia, an attraction to adolescents as opposed to pedophilia, an attraction to children who have NOT yet reached puberty. No matter what you want to say, a man being attracted to a physically mature 14 year old is not pedophilia. If she has breasts and hips and is already menstruating, a REAL pedophile would have absolutely no interest in her. | |
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| Sex with minors
Posted: 2/1/2008 6:58:04 AM | | I think its ok its ok for a 60 year old guy to date/have sex with a 30 year old thats acceptable age is only a number | |
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| Sex with minors
Posted: 2/1/2008 6:59:55 AM | | I think its ok its ok for a 60 year old guy to date/have sex with a 30 year old thats acceptable age is only a number | |
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| Sex with minors
Posted: 2/1/2008 7:22:20 AM | It has nothing to do with the physical development of the female or male body.
It has to do with the decision making process. The maturity level, the emotional stability..... A child or 14, cannot make sound adult decisions, and usually ends up being taken advantage of. | |
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| Sex with minors
Posted: 2/1/2008 7:37:30 AM | Pedophilia, where I live, is used to describe both children and adolecents. Ephebophilia is not even listed in the DSM-IV creteria. But thank you notlaura, for
the information. Never too old to learn something new.  | |
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| Sex with minors
Posted: 2/1/2008 8:06:06 AM | UGH...I am sorry but as I have gotten older I do see the horrible side to this...my daughter is nearly 16 (not sexually active but dating). I was 17 and dating a 20 something yr old...and thought it was fine...now in my mid 30's I cant imagine what else this guy was into me for...I was a teenager...still in highschool...obviously its just sex for him. To me that is the huge issue...adults using teens for sex...since they offer nothing else.
Taal...your 19...you are exatly why this is so wrong...you arent old enough to see that you arent a serious interest to men in a different place in thier lives. | |
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| Sex with minors
Posted: 2/1/2008 8:51:35 AM | As far as i can tell (and this is just from a quick googling granted!!) the legal age to drive is 16 in the US. At 16 you are able to take your own life in your hands and those of many many others at the wheel of what is basically a lean mean killing machine, yet someone is not mature enough to decide on their own sexual destiny until they are 18?! That just doesn't make sense to me!!
==========================
Cars and guns both.
You can leaglly drive a car and carry a gun age 16. If 16 year olds are considered mature enough to do these two then what idiot ever dares call the children. Not mature enough to organise their own sex lives.
In fact most 16 year olds are remarkably good at orgainsing ALL aspects of their lives and those that arent will be just as big a mess age 26 as age 16. | |
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| Sex with minors
Posted: 2/1/2008 10:18:56 AM |
I think its ok its ok for a 60 year old guy to date/have sex with a 30 year old thats acceptable age is only a number
Not only is it acceptable but it is a sign that the old guy is very very rich. *ahem* Clinton *ahem* Hefner *ahem* Daddy Bigbucks. | |
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| Sex with minors
Posted: 2/2/2008 1:29:01 AM | | snow*angel - just to recap a post of mine earlier in the thread, when I was 17 I date a 22 year old man and it lasted a year, until he moved across the country for graduate school. My best friend and former boyfriend, who I've known since I was 5, is 3 years older than me and people think even that's completely inappropriate. I've had a few relationships with older men, and no, they didn't work out. But, I find it very interesting and especially frustrating that as a 32 year old, you could have a relationship that didn't last and you could say "we just discovered we weren't romantically compatible after a few months, even if we did get along great" and nobody would question it. But if I say that exact sentence, people share discreet looks I'm not supposed to notice and whisper "it's because he was so much older than her," never mind the fact that our relationship had a good foundation of friendship, fantastic conversation and mutual interests. You're entitled to your opinion - I'm long since used to the fact that nobody will take me seriously until I'm at least 27. I'm fully prepared to sit here in my delusional little bubble until then while everybody smarter than me tries to pop it. I would like it if people your age could understand, though, that what makes it so frustrating to hear these things from you people is that I'm in a very similar place in my life as these men. I wouldn't even be interested otherwise. No, I'm not off buying houses, mostly because renting is much cheaper and just as good, and I'm still a university student. But being in the same emotional spot is different. Of course, I know you don't believe me and this post is probably a complete waste of my time. I also know that you're thinking, "oh everybody thought they were so ahead of the game when they were that young" (which is true, although I can't believe it's so shocking to think a few of them were right). But I suppose I can hope futilely that I might ever convince just one person over 30 that a younger person just might not be entirely in the dark about themselves. | |
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| Sex with minors
Posted: 2/2/2008 1:52:00 AM | The law is not meant to be a moral guideline... it's meant to be a list of absolute CANs and CAN'Ts... the morality of various situations where the law doesn't apply is up to the individual.
As for the age difference, I can't see what anyone more than six or so years apart would possibly have in common, aside from the physical attraction. If they have things in common, I guess that's not AS horrible, but JUST physical attraction? That's not even a good enough reason, to my standards. I'm not going to throw stones, but I will say it's the lives of the young women to decide this for themselves, but they have to know all the risks going into a situation like this.
As for it being up to the adults to set the example, I haven't seen any adults exercise any restraint in these situations, because even the ones who flirt with this idea are normally NOT capable of seeing the reality of harm they're doing. | |
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kayfay
| | Joined: 11/19/2007
Msg: 673 | |
| Sex with minors
Posted: 2/2/2008 5:40:21 AM | When I was 15, my boyfriend was 21. At the time, it seemed normal.
Now that I am a mother of girls, as well as a teacher of young children, it seems very much NOT normal, and NOT okay.
Back in college, I took a political science class. I remember the professor discussing seat belt laws, and a lot of people balking at the idea, saying it was none of the government's business whether or not they wore a seat belt, or whether they made their kids wear one -- most of us grew up not wearing seat belts.
The professor, a former senator, then relayed the statistics re: mortality rates with and w/out seat belts, and injury levels re: same.
Overwhelmingly, of course, it appeared that children were far less likely to be injured or maimed while wearing a seat belt.
The point of this, and how it relates, is that he made me understand that children are called children for a reason: They are not adults, and are therefore NOT capable of making sound adult decisions -- especially when they are in a life or death situation.
Hence, the government has a right to -- and does so for good reason -- make laws regarding children. Until a child is of age, they can't reason like an adult, be the decision about sex, seat belts, or whatever.
If it's against the law -- which it is, in the case of the 25 year old and the 17 year old, it is WRONG. Even if the 17 year old THINKS it is okay, it's not. She THINKS it's okay because she is a child, and reasons like a child. | |
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| Sex with minors
Posted: 2/2/2008 6:23:48 AM | | That entire argument falls apart based on which country, or even state, you're in. If you're going to base morality around a law, pick a law that's the same in every location. | |
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kayfay
| | Joined: 11/19/2007
Msg: 675 | |
| Sex with minors
Posted: 2/2/2008 6:38:43 AM | It has nothing to do with morality -- In fact, many of the statistics sighted were from the oh-so-liberal Sweden.
I didn't want to write a book, but a lot of his argument was financial -- He also sighted what poorly thought out decisions such as teen sex and resultant unplanned pregnancies, or rehabilitation after being injured more severely than would have been the case if the person had been restrained by a seat belt -- costs ANY society as a whole.
As a tax payer, I have every right to minimize my tax dollars going to such preventable causes, which has NOTHING to do with morality; rather, finances.
Further, it's not only just a financial, but a psychological argument -- not a moral one.
Any child psychologist, be it Erikson, Piaget, or whomever, will tell you that there are several stages of child development that occur BEFORE one can make an "adult" decision -- regardless of country or state of residence.
I say 18 regardless of what individual laws are in certain locales, because 18 is the age where most theorists claim that children even START reasoning as "adults." | |
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