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| | Sex with minorsPage 34 of 35 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35) | lmao it's the other way around, 17 year old girls are ****ing insane, especially if they have a crush on you.
Dont be fooled into thinking half of them are "innocent", they're far from it.
In my experience, the guy is usually fighting them off. I can't even begin to tell you how many times I've seen a 17 year old girl go ballistic on account of being turned away by a guy in his 20's (or me)
The legal age here is 16, now personally I cannot stand teenage girls as I find them irritating and tedious.
Really, I'd rather "fingerbang" roadkill than enter a sexual relationship with a teenage girl.
But I've known so many 16/17 year old nymphs, too many.
They're completely out of control, welcome to 2008.
V | |
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| Sex with minors I think this is unacceptable
Posted: 12/3/2008 7:29:56 AM | Okay, I understand your point, but now my question is this. What about two years from now when your daughter is eighteen and legal and a twenty-seven year old man hits on her? According to our laws, it's legal.
I agree that an older adult (male or female) shouldn't take advantage of an underage or young adult like that but at the same time, I believe that our laws should include some tolerences. For example, if the boy is eighteen and the girl is seventeen, then I don't think he should go to jail for having mutual sex with her.
Here's another question that has bothered me for years. Why is it that a sixteen year-old girl isn't allowed to have sex and possibly make a life, but by law, she is entitled to drive a car, perhaps recklessly and take a life? Personally, I believe the lawful age limit should be the same. If a girl (or boy) isn't considered an adult until they're eighteen, then should they legally be licensed to drive before that age?
Ed | |
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| Sex with minors I think this is unacceptable
Posted: 12/3/2008 7:58:58 AM | | i am not saying dating minors is acceptable ,,, but it was less than 100 years that women were married with children at 13 - 15 . Thr u the ages peoples opinions and whats considered normal changes with time and location . If a male student , lets say 15 is seduced by a 36 year old woman , she is charged with sexual assualt . If a 15 year old female student is suduced by a 36 year old man , he is charged with rape ..... things are not always so black n white , who knows how the people of 2100's will feel about our standards , ethics n morals ,, only time will tell | |
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cielee
| | Joined: 11/24/2008
Msg: 829 | |
| Sex with minors I think this is unacceptable
Posted: 12/4/2008 9:38:00 AM | As a social worker who works with youth....IT IS WRONG. The human brain (frontal lobe area) is not fully developed until 21-22 years of age. That being said, teenagers are essentially "brain damaged" until the age of 22...when they can actually make ADULT decisions. Adults who are attracted to children (because that is what they are) are immature and not capable of being in a grown-up relationship. Being with a child means that the adult will have control and power over that youth based simply on the age difference.
As adults it is our responsibility to PROTECT our children from PREDATORS. I am glad that you are concerned akaMrSmith. | |
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| Sex with minors I think this is unacceptable
Posted: 12/4/2008 9:46:03 AM |
That being said, teenagers are essentially "brain damaged" until the age of 22...when they can actually make ADULT decisions.
ther eis an actual EXACT age at which "all" people become 'mature'?
like at 21 years & 364 days oldm they ar enot mature, but the next day they are?
hmmm..
funny, because I know 40, 45, and 57 year olds that still cannot make 'adult' decisions..
and some 18-19 year olds that are way more 'mature' than some 40-+ year olds.. | |
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| Sex with minors I think this is unacceptable
Posted: 12/4/2008 9:51:22 AM | My 12 year old has the body of a 18yr old and the mind of a 9yr old right now. I have noticed high school boys looking at her and it frightens me. I can't imagine an older man looking at her. I think that every situation is different. I think it is up to us as parents to guide our children and watch out for them until they are mature enough to handle certain situations.
Just my .02 coming from a mother of a very physically but not mentally mature daughter. | |
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| Sex with minors
Posted: 12/4/2008 9:58:26 AM | | this has ALWAYS been normal for me to see b/c when I was in high school, most of the girls my age dated older guys (ages 20-25 on avg.) and did't give teen boys much of a chance....that's what they choose (older guys) so that's what they'll get ("it"). This will never change. | |
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cielee
| | Joined: 11/24/2008
Msg: 834 | |
| Sex with minors I think this is unacceptable
Posted: 12/4/2008 1:25:56 PM | ther eis an actual EXACT age at which "all" people become 'mature'?
like at 21 years & 364 days oldm they ar enot mature, but the next day they are?
hmmm..
Ya...that is what I said (when I could get past your horrible typing). They are not adults at 17, 18, 19, 20, 21 and for some even older. The brain isn't fully developed which means that it is difficult for proper, well thought out decisions to be made.
Why are we trying to make this okay? It isn't! Bottom line. It is beyond the legality and "I know 17 year old that are nympho's" crap. Do you ever wonder why they act that way? Most likely it is due to being sexually abused as a child. Children who are molested do not learn proper sexual boundaries and will therefore act out sexually with anyone and everyone...so now we have adults taking advantage of this.
Talk to me after you have spent time with a 17 year old who straight faced, without emotion, discloses all of the sexual abuse she endured as a child at the hands of adults who were suppose to protect her and didn't. | |
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| Sex with minors
Posted: 12/4/2008 2:37:39 PM | Seems Like alot of Peadophiles , or ppl that think like them ...are trying to justify there actions or thoughts.
Sad state of society | |
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| Sex with minors I think this is unacceptable
Posted: 12/4/2008 3:09:34 PM |
It is beyond the legality and "I know 17 year old that are nympho's" crap. Do you ever wonder why they act that way? Most likely it is due to being sexually abused as a child.
Sorry, I can't agree with this. I don't think the reason that most people are sexually active at 17 is because of sexual abuse at a younger age. Otherwise we have about 80% of the population being abused as a child, which seems a touch unlikely. | |
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| Sex with minors I think this is unacceptable
Posted: 12/4/2008 3:55:03 PM | aka, Who's to honestly know beyond themselves for the relationship between adult and minor? I don't frown on those that respect the personality and family values of the latter, and I've met some very mature minors, and unfortunately, more irresponsible and amoral adults in my life travels ...which is why I'd question the latter before the former for their motivations in regards to their 'connections'.
As the older parent of a much younger child, I was ISO a woman much younger than I for the 'family' that they might bring to an only child in addition to what I might find for creative muse and partner in whatever we find in common to do. Who I found ...closer to my age, but not w/o her own unique family ties? Priceless for the wisdom that I continually gain when younger is able teach older.
I can't disagree that most adult-minor sexual relationships need to be discouraged, but who are we to know beyond our own? | |
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| Sex with minors
Posted: 12/4/2008 3:57:53 PM | | I think age of consent laws were geared up to protect minors, because of the emotional attachment sex can bring. Every person is diffrent, but we see today that adults can can catch serious feelings behind sex-so we know it can be way worse for a kid. Replying to this post because of the persons lack of consideration of the guys feelings that she was dating.Grown women and men get stereotyped for having affairs while their married.Could you imagine what kind of effect this kinda of behavior could have on a kid if he walked in and caught his dad sleepin with his girlfriend. She also said she did it more than once which means she had no absolute respect for the kids or the fathers relationship. imho that is just trifling | |
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| Sex with minors
Posted: 12/4/2008 4:24:19 PM | | Now 25 and 17 in my book isnt wrong at all.If they both are willing to put into a relationship then i think its all gd. With that said if ur 25 and not man enough to meet the 17 years olds parents and discuss ur plans with their child-then there is no reason you should be around them. Most reasons older women go after younger guys and vice versa is because their looking for someone new on the scene of sex to control.I think alot of times though men and women dont target younger people--the situation just kinda falls in their laps.Putting a man 25 years old in jail because he slept with a 16 or 17 females is a waste of jail space.Those spaces should be reserved for real criminals not people that fell in love or lust-as long as its a two way street everything should be fine. I dont think there should be any legal age of consent as long the minors child are informed. Teenagers are gonna have sex anyway-i think the question is about maturity and responsability. Alot of teenagers are forced to do things in weird places around negative people because of these laws.A grown man or woman can provide a safe place for them to get it on. Lets be honest people-some superstar jocks or superstar cheerleaders are just 15 16--is it really wrong to be attracted to em--i dont think so.I think its wrong to take advantage-thats why stuff like this needs to be out in the open.We lose alot of teenagers to drugs-depression and we're kinda shoveling more of em to this because the laws say its wrong for them to have sex.How can u tell em its illegal to have such natural feelings. If child hasnt started puberty yet-then its sick-because that child isnt showing any characteristicks of an adult. Once they developed physically though-those feelings kick in-and stuff happens.I dont think people should be jailed for it.I also dont think drug dealers should be jailed also-but thats a whole another topic.Before anyone jumps down my throat about my last comment.Think about what drug dealers could do for ur community if they paid taxes at the end of every year-and they didnt get anything back-but it all went to the homeless-the sick-the less fortunate.Alot of the issues we face today can be resolved-but people are so judgemental-if anyone wants to talk about this shoot me a pm | |
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| Sex with minors I think this is unacceptable
Posted: 12/4/2008 5:27:06 PM |
As a social worker who works with youth....IT IS WRONG. The human brain (frontal lobe area) is not fully developed until 21-22 years of age. That being said, teenagers are essentially "brain damaged" until the age of 22...when they can actually make ADULT decisions.
Then why do we let them vote???? | |
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ab_qt
| | Joined: 5/7/2006
Msg: 841 | |
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| Sex with minors I think this is unacceptable
Posted: 12/5/2008 7:58:22 AM |
As a social worker who works with youth....IT IS WRONG. The human brain (frontal lobe area) is not fully developed until 21-22 years of age. That being said, teenagers are essentially "brain damaged" until the age of 22...when they can actually make ADULT decisions.
Then why do we let them vote????
I agree..how did we go from talking about someone 17 years old, to saying anyone under 22 is still a 'child' or 'brain-damaged'???
great, I can see if this social worker ran things, anyone under 22 could rape, murder, kill or do any crime..and is "NOT responsible" becasue they are still a 'child'/'brain-damaged' ??
funny.. in many earlier generations , these 'brain-damaged' people already had kids 5-6, or more, years old by the time they reached 22..how then did the human species ever survive this far??
That being said, teenagers are essentially "brain damaged" until the age of 22...when they can actually make ADULT decisions.
this sentence makes NO sense..how can someone be a "teenager" past the age of 19?
'teenagers' are brain-damaged until 22? | |
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cielee
| | Joined: 11/24/2008
Msg: 843 | |
| Sex with minors I think this is unacceptable
Posted: 12/5/2008 9:14:39 AM |
Then why do we let them vote????
I don't know....I have been wondering that myself. As years have gone by there has been more research (which is on-going) in regards to brain development...so what was acceptable 30 years ago was based on what we knew at the time. Being that we know more about brain development now....maybe the age of voting will be changed to 25.
Just because it "has always been done that way" doesn't mean that it is right. | |
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| Sex with minors I think this is unacceptable
Posted: 12/5/2008 9:35:56 AM | ^^
so, obviously we shoudn't let anyone 'work' until they are past 25, or even to study or train for a particular type of work..
since they are too 'brain-damaged' to know what they really want to do anyway?
great..we can have hordes of unemployed youth wandering about with too much time on their hands..possibly casuing all manner of havoc & mayhem..but the poor widdle things couldn't be criminally charged because they are 'brain-damaged' & so 'not responsible' for their own actions.
great make-work project for social workers I suppose..
cielee, can you point out any actual studies/links that might support your contentions? or are they merely your 'feelings' ?
the unfunny thing about the 'joke' below is that it's too close to the truth..
Hey...I have a good joke about social workers..................So these two social workers were walking down the street and they passed by a back alley. They could hear moaning. When they went to check it out they found a man all beat up...bloody...in pain. One social worker looked at the other and said "Who ever did that sure needs help!"
cielle: so by your own logic a 24 year old having sex with a17 -year old is not responsible either, because s/he (the older person) is still 'brain-damaged', anyway? | |
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cielee
| | Joined: 11/24/2008
Msg: 845 | |
| Sex with minors I think this is unacceptable
Posted: 12/5/2008 9:36:07 AM | Wow compleat man...are you taking this personally or something? What is with the cheap shots?
[great, I can see if this social worker ran things, anyone under 22 could rape, murder, kill or do any crime..and is "NOT responsible" becasue they are still a 'child'/'brain-damaged' ??[/]
I don't remember saying anything like the above. We are talking about adults wanting to have sexual relationships with youth (which I consider up to the age of 22-24). A lot of social service agencies will continue care for youth up until that age if they need it.
If this social worker ran things the world would be a different place for our youth...I'm not talking about molly coddling them...but protecting them from sexual predators.
Hey...I have a good joke about social workers..................So these two social workers were walking down the street and they passed by a back alley. They could hear moaning. When they went to check it out they found a man all beat up...bloody...in pain. One social worker looked at the other and said "Who ever did that sure needs help!" | |
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| Sex with minors I think this is unacceptable
Posted: 12/5/2008 2:08:52 PM | I think thw onwa gwting upset over the illegality and immorality of it are the ones who want to have sexual relations with kids. And teenagers ARE kids.
I wonder what is so wrong with them that they cant attract an adult woman. | |
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| Sex with minors I think this is unacceptable
Posted: 12/6/2008 10:26:45 PM |
Ya...that is what I said (when I could get past your horrible typing). They are not adults at 17, 18, 19, 20, 21 and for some even older. The brain isn't fully developed which means that it is difficult for proper, well thought out decisions to be made.
Why are we trying to make this okay? It isn't! Bottom line. It is beyond the legality and "I know 17 year old that are nympho's" crap. Do you ever wonder why they act that way? Most likely it is due to being sexually abused as a child. Children who are molested do not learn proper sexual boundaries and will therefore act out sexually with anyone and everyone...so now we have adults taking advantage of this.
Talk to me after you have spent time with a 17 year old who straight faced, without emotion, discloses all of the sexual abuse she endured as a child at the hands of adults who were suppose to protect her and didn't.
I find people who believe this kind of stuff are the ones who, themselves, made some shaky decisions in that age range. Also, just because you are a social worker and you see a lot of teenagers who have these problems, does not make it representative. It's not like the thousands of people who did have sex young and don't have problems are going to cross paths with you at work. Maybe, in the obviously biased sample you see through your job, sexual abuse is highly likely, but that has nothing to do with the general population.
As a person who knows plenty of people 15 through 25, I think this is complete stupidity. A lot of teenagers have perfectly healthy sexual relationships with older men and women, and it's not because they've been sexually abused (excuse me while I roll my eyes). I notice you forgot to mention the fact that sexually abused children also often shy away from sex for much of their lives, as well as the fact that people who have sex with "anyone" usually weren't abused and simply enjoy an orgasmic act (shocking, I know, enjoying sex - I know it's a truly terrible, atrocious thing to think anybody under 25 might enjoy sex rather than be acting out due to sexual abuse). And yes, I have spoken to victims of sexual abuse, and have gotten both the "have-sex-with-anything-that-breathes" type and the "celibate-forever" type, as well as the ones who have healthily gotten over it and have moved on.
On top of that, I resent being told that I'm incapable of making adult decisions. I'm the first person to admit I screw up every now and then, but I also make a hell of a lot of well-informed, carefully thought out decisions. In fact, until somebody comes up with a concrete, ABSOLUTE list of situations and reactions that qualify maturity, I think people should learn to swallow their thoughts. I'm getting quite sick of being told by people I've never met that everybody under 20 is immature and shouldn't be allowed to make any decisions about their own life and body, especially when they can't even give me a definite answer on what maturity is.
And I have to say this again: When your job in social services is to work with kids with troubled home lives (all kinds of abuse, etc.), you can't use that very select pool of children and teenagers to determine statistically how many of ALL the teenagers in the world have been badly affected by sex with older people.
I'm sure the response I'll get from you is "Well you're in that age range so of course you think you can make adult decisions". So, if that's all you have to say, don't even bother, because it's pathetically predictable. | |
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| Sex with minors
Posted: 12/6/2008 10:48:15 PM | I don't think it's ok to "target" minors, but if a girl is of legal age in her specific state, she can pretty much date whomever she wants too. Honestly, considering a 24 old guy's emotional maturity is probably similar to that of a 17 year old girl (we tend to mature faster then boys in that area anyway), I don't think it makes him a predator. Now, if he was 40, and only interested in 17 year olds, there might be a problem.
I think sometimes guys go after younger women, due to their own immaturity and insecurity issues. He just may need some time to grow up a bit and still feels insecure around women his age. 17 is a bit young, but it wasn't long ago in this country that 14 year old girls were being married off to older men. As long as a girl could get pregnant, once she was considered old enough to marry.
Now while I'm glad it's not that way anymore and there are laws to protect young girls under 18, a 17 year old and a 24 is not that huge of an age difference. I think a lot of teenage girls go after slightly older guys anyway, because it holds "mystique" for them. And there's nothing wrong with a 24 year old guy having a crush on a 17 year old, if that's all it stays. If he tries to pursue her, then technically, he is breaking the law. If he gets older, and continues to only go after 17 year olds, then clearly, he's in pedophile territory and something is wrong. But a guy having a crush on ONE 17 year old does not make him a sex offender.
I don't like pedophiles either, and I'm all for protecting young girls, but I think we blow certain things way out of proportion sometimes. | |
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| Sex with minors I think this is unacceptable
Posted: 12/7/2008 9:29:57 AM | And why, Taal, do you think that having sex proves your maturity?
There is whole lot more to showing maturity in your age than having sex.
Mature people dont spout off that they resent being told they are incapable of making adult decisions, they actually go and make those decisions and dont need to be told anything. Whats YOUR definite answer on maturity, besides hopping on some older guys**** | |
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| Sex with minors I think this is unacceptable
Posted: 12/7/2008 9:53:15 AM | | I agree with Taal, to think that all people that are younger cannot make decisions based on thier own values and desires is not always true, but I have to say that younger people, boys and girls must be careful. I know that I will take grief from everyone here, but when I was 23 I met my wife..she was 17, we had alot in common, she was mature for her age and we loved spending all our time together.. we waited till we got married before having sex, and we were happily married till 7 years ago a drunk driver( by the way, he was older then 25) killed her and my daughter. I prefer younger women, not 17, but have dated women that have recently graduated from college, and it has never been an issue with them, but I do not go out and look specifically for them...if a younger woman shows interest in me, and she is as intelligent as she is beautiful, then I'm not sure why that is a bad thing. | |
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