| Thanks, but your not my type.
Posted: 9/2/2007 12:40:54 PM | I've been doing the dating thing for three years now so I have started to understand the way things are. Like most people I used to get annoyed by women ignoring my messages. I'd never reply but I found it bad-mannered at the time. Until last year on another site...
I had a message from this woman saying "Hi fancy a chat" or summat. I actually didn't get a chance to reply that day when I got a message off her saying I was very rude. So I explained to her what happened, out of courtesy (becasue I'm a nice man who can't spell because!). But she was sooooooo needy, offering her MSN, mobile number and everything till I snapped and sent her a pretty curt message asking her to calm down etc. Anyway, I was told I was a bad man and how upset and offended she was by what she said. Never heard from her again. The point being was that being nice to people you are not interested in will get you grief with the wrong people so it's not worth sending the "Not my type" response no matter how well meaning it is.
I actually say in my profile that if I don't reply I'm not interested to ensure that people are aware of what I think. | |
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| Thanks, but your not my type.
Posted: 9/4/2007 10:04:18 PM | | well aint some ladies rude its like sticking two fingers up at you. Its nice to be nice even if only a reply being honest even to point they read n delete your message without even saying thanks but no thanks lol | |
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| Thanks, but your not my type.
Posted: 9/5/2007 1:01:22 AM | If you need a put off line just say youre divorced but forced by circumstance to live with your ex for a while.
That usually pours piss on their bonfire  | |
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| Thanks, but your not my type.
Posted: 9/6/2007 2:54:49 PM | God should have branded us and put model numbers on us. Then I could say something like "Hey, I hear your looking for a 71 mk1 Ford Escort with less than 100,000 miles, thats me!" 
The general problem with using the "I'm not your type" argument is that its a universal excuse. Like "I'm doing my hair tonight". Being a man myself I can take it on the chin and respect the womans wish that what she really means is that her train doesn't stop at my station. | |
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| Thanks, but your not my type.
Posted: 9/6/2007 3:24:59 PM | What gets me are those who ignore your basic profiled wants/needs then message you expecting you to be interested. The latest one is an 18 year old from about 200 miles away - I'm 35 and advertising for someone local!
I want to be with someone who will listen to me and respect my thoughts, feelings and opinions (even if not necessarily agreeing with them) but these are such fundamental things that if they can't listen to me on a profile I can't help but think that it doesn't bode well for a relationship.
I've only ever had one nasty message back after me rejecting him, all the others have been lovely - but then I think they've known that they were pushing their luck by being too old, too far away etc. and I'm kind about rejection - it's still flattering that someone has taken the time/effort to say hello and express an interest, after all - even if frustrating that you've got your hopes up for nothing when you've seen that you've got a new message. | |
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| Thanks, but your not my type.
Posted: 9/10/2007 5:28:14 AM | see this is why i only reply to those i have an interest in , as many a guy is ready to say be polite and say i'm not ur type, but it just turns into the why or ur heartless, and i'm sorry i can't be a*s*d with that. i have my fair share of read deleted but i don't cry over it lol its all part of life x | |
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| Thanks, but your not my type.
Posted: 9/14/2007 1:59:05 PM | I have found also that when i have messaged back stating that someone wasnt what i was looking for,the chap felt the need to bombard me with questions as to why that was so.So now,if they dont float my boat i wont reply.It may sound harsh,ignorant and maybe even a touch arrogant,but lets face it,us women do get a lot more messages than most men,and the vast majority of us just dont have the time or inclination to sit and spend all day explaining to guys that they arent our type for whatever reason!
If someone doesnt message you back,dont take it personally,move on and look forward to when you meet the person you are compatible with! | |
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| Thanks, but your not my type.
Posted: 9/14/2007 5:13:58 PM | Yes
Unlike you OP I would think I don't get as much mail but still reply to all, and yes still get the same thing.
So guys would you like us to be brutally blunt and deflate your ego....the second time round after being polite.. or be kind and not answer, you cant have it both ways.  | |
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| Thanks, but your not my type.
Posted: 9/14/2007 10:06:52 PM | | This dating game through the internet is hard work Good pic crap profile or vice versa. I reply to everyone coz im a bloke But seriously though I think its a good thing when someone looks at you and writes. but wouldnt you be amazed if you saw them in real life and they were a lot different? Take me for example. I had the hots for a woman whos profile and photo were spot on, and I kept getting bugged by a woman who had a rubbish photo and wrote in text speak. The webcam showed the hottie as she was. Not that nice and I spent 15 months with the one that bugged me | |
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| Thanks, but your not my type.
Posted: 9/15/2007 1:13:16 AM | Well you guys seem to fall into two camps:
Either read and delete the guys that are not your type and move on, or, send the polite thanks but no thank then get ready to hit the block button if no is not taken as suitable answer
Id love to read and delete but i just feel bad and feel obliged to send a message, its like a dating thank you note  | |
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| Thanks, but your not my type.
Posted: 9/15/2007 1:58:50 AM | jackydp, is it really flattering though...most mail i tend to get is after the pubs have shut, and 9/10 they seem like copy and paste mass mails to me...somehow i find that quite the opposite of flattering, and probably insulting to a degree.
it's like a lot of people are just casting out a huge net, and waiting to see what's dragged back in! there's little or no thought put into their mail, and i can't help but think..if they can't be arsed to put some thought and effort into their first mail, i can't be arsed to reply. | |
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| Thanks, but your not my type.
Posted: 9/15/2007 2:04:54 AM | | oooh pickledlea its 10 A.M and your gorgeous Fancy a chat sometime or am I not your type? | |
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| Thanks, but your not my type.
Posted: 10/9/2007 8:26:58 AM | Personally, I don't mind if I don't get a reply. All I do is have a look on the sent page and see if my messages have been read. If they are unread/deleted then that's just that person being ignorant (or could be that they get so many messages that they just don't have the time, which is fine); if it's read/deleted or no reply then I don't worry about it, I'm probably not their type and they're not interested. I think a lot of the guys that get nasty about 'no replys' or 'thanks but no thanks' replys need to just get on with it and not be so immature as to bombard the person they'd messaged with lots of pathetic follow up messages.
If someone is not interested at least be thankful that they took the time to reply to you! | |
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| Thanks, but your not my type.
Posted: 10/9/2007 8:50:37 AM | I actually find it helpful when the message is just deleted without a reply. Just think how long an email conversation lasts for before phone number/msn and then you have all the chat etc etc bla bla and then you meet up only to find out they aren't attracted to you. Geez they've done me a favour by my not wasting any more of my valuable time - it could be months before I found out that they weren't interested or just want to be friends. Even two hours saved is grande for me...there is just so much to do without wasting it on people who aren't interested in me!
So read/delete means
(1) they've saved me money on phone calls/dates and most importantly
(2) saved me time which I can better spend with
------(a) other people who are more interested in me,
------(b) working,
------(c) spending time with friends,
------(d) hobbies and of course
------(e) reading forum posts... | |
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| Thanks, but your not my type.
Posted: 10/9/2007 10:28:32 AM | If I get a reply saying thanks but no thanks, I always respect it
if I don't get a reply at all, I send another (polite) chase-up mail. I like to encourage good manners that way... (if you get one from me and arent going to reply and don't want to know, better block me!)
I think people are perfectly within their rights to send a reply saying thanks-but-no-thanks then hit block to prevent harrassment, though | |
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| Thanks, but your not my type.
Posted: 10/9/2007 11:55:40 AM | Hmmm seems to be alot of anger in these posts rejection is such a bitter pill to swallow but who said this fishing lark  was going to be easy.
I don't think online dating differs that much from scary outside world dating accept that when you approach someone in a pub and make your interest known if you get a slap in the ego it hurts but you can always go back to your mates and say something childish like she/he 's a lesbian/gay or a minger and it eases the pain of rejection but when certain people are behind a keyboard and they get a kick square in the ego where does the emmotional release from the bruised ego come from? They can either swear at their computer or write a childish snide comment and send it back.
So what lessons can be learned maybe we could all be a bit politer and respectfull of other people's feelings i mean you can let someone down firmly but in a polite way can't you? and if we are the rejected maybe we should just take it on the chin re-bait the hook and get back fishing. Flippin eck i think i'm turning into a hippy group hug of monitor anyone?
btw
how come i haven't got any online stalkers its not fair whats wrong with me? Not good enough for you or summat? I demand to know why or i will message every last muvver F@c#in one of you until you all block me!!  | |
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| Thanks, but your not my type.
Posted: 10/9/2007 12:20:35 PM | I think the problem is that a lot of people have big expectations of dating sites. These sites have the feel of an online shopping experience where you just enter in your selection criteria, click the button and get the man/woman of your dreams. Some folks need reminding that it doesn't actually work like that.
You could respond in the manner of a job application rejection. "Thank you for your application. There has been a large number of applicants for this position and the quality of these has been exceptionally high. Regrettably, on this occasion, your application has not been successful. I shall keep it on file should a suitable position become available in the near future. Thank you for your interest." | |
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| Thanks, but your not my type.
Posted: 10/9/2007 12:29:58 PM | | Must admit, I'm not impressed that so many people on here apparently can't handle rejection - you'd think with attitudes lke that, they'd have experienced enough of it to get used to it... | |
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| Thanks, but your not my type.
Posted: 10/9/2007 12:47:41 PM | they think it's like a job interview on here...
they 'have' to know why they got turned down...
you see i might think the same as you..then again maybe it's because i haven't been on the receiving end too often if at all of rejection of mail on here...: )
Could i ask...do you ever mail anyone first O P..??
(so do we REALLY know how that other person may feel, even tho 'your well within your rights' to say no thanks,politely>> | |
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| Thanks, but your not my type.
Posted: 10/9/2007 3:02:59 PM | If I get one of those messages I may reply back saying 'no worries' but more often than not I get ignored  | |
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| Thanks, but your not my type.
Posted: 10/9/2007 4:23:41 PM | Nobody on here should feel that they have to explain why they are not interested in somebody, I personally don't like the thanks, your not my type reply, I definitely wouldn't say it to a girl because I think it sounds like I think I am better than them but it has nothing to do with being better than them, if I wasn't interested, I just wouldn't reply and I would prefer it if they didn't reply to me also because I don't want to waste my time on someone who clearly isn't interested in me, I have now made it clear in my profile.
I would never ask a girl why I am not her type, if she is clearly not interested in me then I respect that and I am no longer interested in her, by asking questions like what is wrong with me or why don't you like me makes me cringe just thinking about it. I would say if you really must reply to someone telling them you are not interested then try and say it in another way or like me just don't reply. | |
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fem38
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Joined: 8/24/2007
Msg: 75 | |
| Thanks, but your not my type.
Posted: 10/9/2007 6:25:03 PM |
There is little point, when you are on a DATING SITE of talking to people you dont fancy.
Amen to that.
When I was looking (gave up now) I was totally fed with with "fancy a chat, maybe we could be friends" messages.
I was at home, on a pc - that did not mean I needed someone to kill the time with, anyone. I had a very specific profile then.. anyone not matching, sorry but for me it was a total waste of (my) time.
Waste even as little as several minutes to chat to somoene randon about things you are not interested in at all. Multiply this by number of IM received and whole evening is gone - for nothing.
Now I am not looking, any email I receive and look at person's profile, see nothing in common and/or the looks are not what I am looking for (yup, shallow you may call it but physical attraction is a must) - I do not bother even polite "No thanks" reply.
As someone has said above - if people do not bother to read the profile before sending an email... why should I bother explaining?
Yawnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn | |
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