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| Helping himself to my computer...............
Posted: 8/28/2007 5:31:41 PM | I don't think you are wrong for being angry.
I just find it unbelievable that your PC wasn't password protected
What would you have done had he downloaded some really nasty illegal stuff ?
I'm not saying the guy would have, but if your PC is not password protected anyone could get into your house & download anything , you could have some explaining to do then! | |
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| Helping himself to my computer...............
Posted: 8/28/2007 5:34:11 PM |
Left him at my house for a day while I went to work.
That infers that he had spent the night, and I don't spend the night just to watch Letterman.....
He was at my house, waiting for me to come home from work, that I got called in to unexpectedly.
Very mixed messages here.... And again, is this the same "wonderful man" you speak on on your profile? | |
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| Helping himself to my computer...............
Posted: 8/28/2007 5:36:23 PM | I cannot imagine just assuming that I am free to use anything I feel like using while staying in another person's home. I mean really, as a guest, I already understand that my stay has limitations attached to it and I would no more use their computer than I would flip through their bank statement or their diary, or go through the freezer and whip up whatever strikes my fancy! Wow!
I just don't understand why becoming sexually intimate with someone means they have total access to your property...especially when that someone is a "new" someone.
That said, a "new" fella wouldn't have been staying in my home all alone, and anyone that does stay in my home alone (thinking back 20 or so years, I can't recall a time when anyone ever did) will have my expectations expressed to them very clearly, and I would have already protected my privacy before hand. You don't enter what I haven't welcomed you into. If you do, you'll be greeted with a real and proper southern style hissy fit that'll leave wishing I'd just gone ahead and killed you. :) | |
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| Helping himself to my computer...............
Posted: 8/28/2007 5:37:21 PM | Well, I'd wager that he'd hopped on a lot more than yer 'puter the night before ...
... and was left in your house alone (despite the fact that you admit you'd only recently met him)...
... so he didn't feel goofing on the 'puter wasn't any kind of imposition ... | |
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| Helping himself to my computer...............
Posted: 8/28/2007 5:38:10 PM | | I would never have a problem with a girlfriend or anyone using my computer to check their email or do a search. I am assuming your email is password protected and also assume if you are leaving this person at your home unattended, you should have some degree of trust in them. My computer is open to all guests in my home to check email etc. Anything thing I have of a personal nature is in secure folders. | |
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| Helping himself to my computer...............
Posted: 8/28/2007 5:40:03 PM | A PC is no different to me than a TV... except that I don't watch TV, and I use the computer quite a bit.
If you're leaving me sitting by myself and I'm not allowed to touch anything, do me a huge favor and say, "Sorry hon, I'll call you when I'm done doing the things that I have to do. We can meet up then."
Better yet, let me know before hand so I can stay home... or at least bring a book along so that I can do something when I'm not allowed to touch anything... | |
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| Helping himself to my computer...............
Posted: 8/28/2007 5:40:36 PM | You trust him enough to leave him alone in your house while you are gone, but don't trust him enough to use your computer? I agree with a previous poster who said that using the computer is like using your TV or your microwave. What's the big deal?
As to your second comment about wishing he was cutting your lawn...because YOU would have done his dishes...that's a little bit sexist, dontcha think? He's your guy and he's at your house so he should be doing 'boy chores' around your house!!! Yikes.
Good luck with this relationship. | |
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| Helping himself to my computer...............
Posted: 8/28/2007 5:41:51 PM | | As a computer geek, I wouldnt want someone on my computer when i wasnt around. I wouldnt get on someone elses computer without their permission either. Though it would be hard lol. I wouldnt be looking thru their stuff i would be looking to see what was all in it lol. (ie ram, hd space etc etc) | |
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| Helping himself to my computer...............
Posted: 8/28/2007 5:44:28 PM | Wow! Heck yes, I would be appauled!!! How long have you known this "fishie"(to leave him alone in your home)?
I don't know about anyone else, but my home is my "temple". With this being said, I don't allow just anyone in it.
Thread lightly with this fellow, unless you have given him the "green light" to feel he has "the right" to do this............. | |
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| Helping himself to my computer...............
Posted: 8/28/2007 5:47:11 PM | You state recently met......... how recent is recent? I wouldn't let someone I "recently" met be at my home all day while I was at work.
If he didn't want you to know, he wouldn't of even told you.
I don't think guys are snoopers as much as some women might be. Women are the more curious breed. | |
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| Helping himself to my computer...............
Posted: 8/28/2007 5:49:26 PM | You know, I dated someone on and off for three years and was left alone many times in his house.
It never even occured to me to help myself to his computer.
*Shrug* | |
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| Helping himself to my computer...............
Posted: 8/28/2007 5:55:55 PM | I think that it depends on how you view your technology. I've been using computers since floppys were floppy... though at the time I was between the ages of 8 and 10, and the only thing that particular computer was good for was games.
For most of my life the computer has been split between a tool for work/paying bills, a research tool, an entertainment device, a social device, and a media machine.
If you only use your pc for work/paying bills, I can see being mortified about it. It's like someone is looking at your stock portfolio.
With that in mind, I would never be on someone's computer looking for personal information. If I had time to kill I'd probably be reading web comics, chatting, or watching old TV shows.... or if I was smart I'd be ordering you flowers and finding directions to a killer restaurant so that I could impress you later... | |
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| Helping himself to my computer...............
Posted: 8/28/2007 6:09:09 PM | | A similar thing happend to me and my ex once. We had a roomate who was moving in one day when we were both at work. We came home to find one of the guys who was helping the roomate move in, sitting in front of our computer. He said he was trying to check his e-mail. He told me that he couldn't figure out the password on our computer and asked me what it was. I told him it was my wife's computer and i didn't know it...of course i knew the password, but i didn't trust this asswipe! | |
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| Helping himself to my computer...............
Posted: 8/28/2007 6:33:07 PM | I purposefully would avoid a computer or any other area of the house (file cabinet for a home office etc.) that I thought might reveal something about the person that they may not have ever shared were it up to him or her.
This comes both from my previous work in a position of trust as a cleaning lady or when employed in an office where it was my responsibility to do payroll/keep employment records, for example.
I'm that way with my friends and lovers too. But that's just me. In the past, however, I have come to deeply regret allowing another to use my computer.
Most people who ever used it with permission were simply my kid's friends and they were playing video games that did no harm.
So, if a guy I was with used it with respect then it really wouldn't bother me. At least he'd keep himself occupied. | |
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| Helping himself to my computer...............
Posted: 8/28/2007 6:42:34 PM | I’ve been a heavy computer user since 1981 - always Apple computers - maybe “she” could not figure out how to use my computers lol.
BUT .......... some people are just plain nosy.
Where would a nosy person draw the line ...........
- the computer ?
- the desk drawers ?
- the dresser drawers ?
- under the mattress (she would have to be huge - that king size water bed is HEAVY lol
Snoops don’t impress me much.
While I would not care if say ....... my daughter fired up one of my computers (there are four of them out and running most of the time). I don’t think a stranger has any business digging around under the desk looking to see why the computer would not fire up.
It was unplugged for a reason DUH .......
Map Quest my fanny - the guy is nosy.
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All of you talking about passwords ..... I bet most people have auto fill set for most of their password inputs.
I live alone - why would I want to type in my password every time I did anything?
POF alone would make me nuts typing in my password every few minutes. | |
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| Helping himself to my computer...............
Posted: 8/28/2007 6:46:05 PM | | Tell you what. If you are that concerned about your computer security just pass word protect your account. Then have a open guest account set up on your computer. They won't be able to make any changes and can still preform the basic computer functions. | |
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| Helping himself to my computer...............
Posted: 8/28/2007 6:46:13 PM | Well..I don't believe he thought he was doing anything wrong by using you computer,if he did he would not be telling you about it.
Just talk to him and tell him whats ok for him to use in your house and whats not. That way this does not happen again, also you can put a password on your computer so no one can use it without your permision. | |
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| Helping himself to my computer...............
Posted: 8/28/2007 6:46:16 PM | | A computer is not like a television or a toaster oven. A computer contains archives of many personal things. Going thru someone's computer without their permission is like going through their desk drawers. I would ask someone to use their desk and tell them why I would want to use it (i.e, write a letter, etc.) - same as I would ask to use someone's computer. I would never just use someone's PC without asking them. | |
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| Helping himself to my computer...............
Posted: 8/28/2007 6:55:23 PM |
A computer is not like a television or a toaster oven. A computer contains archives of many personal things. Going thru someone's computer without their permission is like going through their desk drawers. I would ask someone to use their desk and tell them why I would want to use it (i.e, write a letter, etc.) - same as I would ask to use someone's computer. I would never just use someone's PC without asking them.
I agree! But, was he going through her computer? or was he using it just for mapquest?
maybe he needed to know how to get somewhere.
I would always ask someone to use anything in thier house, but some people don't think that way. Some people let people freely use anything in their house, and so they don't think anyone would have a problem with them using there's. Know what I mean ?
I'v been told when I was over at people's house before to"stop asking to use stuff, just use it" I still ask tho | |
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| Helping himself to my computer...............
Posted: 8/28/2007 6:57:43 PM | i think it's weird that he tried to turn it on
realized it was unplugged
then plugged it in and used it
people don't unplug their computers
he knew that you did it for a reason, cause you didn't want him snooping
but since you didn't say anything he's playing dumb like it wasn't a big deal
because you didn't tell him straight out
it would've been suspicious if you asked him not to use it, and that's why you didn't say that, you just unplugged it so if he tried to turn it on, he'd give up.
did he have a phone number to call you at?
he should've done that, so if he could've called first, then he's bad.
but maybe he can't call you at work
and his excuse, he needed mapquest- for what?
was it really so important? i'd interrogate him, lol
you left him alone in your house so you must not have much of anything to hide, and you must have some reason to believe he's trustworthy- otherwise you're crazy for letting him stay.
and therefore, if you do trust him, why would you care if he uses your computer anyway?
shouldn't really matter.
now let me give you my point of view, if it were me.
i wouldn't have plugged it in
i would've called you first, or if i couldn't call, then i'd find another way to get directions to where i needed to go besides the mapquest.
and when we talked next, i'd ask you "why did you unplug your computer? that seems odd." "now can i go through and search for all the stuff you're hidding, lol"
and also, i know that lots of people want to keep their computer space private, almost like it's a diary or something, and i suppose most people know that as common sense, however- if i was considering being with you, in love, cause we love each other, then i would have no problem invading your so-called private space.
i like to know everything about the girl i'm loving, if she has secrets she wants to hide or keep private, that is fine, for a couple months, but sooner or later i want to know everything about her. and if she loves me and trusts me she wants to share even her skeletons in the closet.
i don't believe in privacy or keeping secrets of any kind in a serious loving relationship.
i would want to read you PM box on your plentyoffish, to see what kind of person you really are. and even if you're weird it wouldn't scare me- i've seen it all.
just like i have nothing to hide.
if a girl went digging through my computer she would find things that would make her ask me questions like "what the hell is this?"
but i would have no trouble explaining it to her if i love her and she loves me.
that is what Extreme Honesty is.
are you wrong to feel how you do?
no, not wrong, and sorta typical i think.
but i'm not like that, i expect my new girlfriend to examine my stuff, my diary, my underwear drawer, everything.
she's only doing it because she's interested and loves me.
it worries me when girls don't care, because it means they really aren't interested in my whole life- just little bits and pieces instead of the whole entire deal. | |
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| Helping himself to my computer...............
Posted: 8/28/2007 6:58:04 PM |
Where in my post did I say that???????? He was at my house, waiting for me to come home from work, that I got called in to unexpectedly. Was no "ultimate physical intimacy" at all. Get your mind outta the gutter!! That has NOTHING to do with the question at all.
Almost regardless why he was in your house while you were away the fact he WAS there alone is pertinent. I agree what the two of you did before you left might not be important to this issue but do keep in mind were he NOT there none of this could have or would have happened.
In my home nothing is really hidden or put out of sight of those invited inside but they also know everything I own is off limits to their touch or viewing if I don't specifically offer. If someone can't or won't respect that they simply don't return. I "file" things in piles on the floor occasionally including large sums of cash for pending purchases and have never felt the need to hide such things from trusted visitors.
I have very little on my computer I won't share but do have a few very personal things not meant for casual viewing by anyone. When I'm in anyone's home or business and need to use anything like the phone, bathroom or even a computer I ask first. If I were alone then I simply wouldn't think it was okay without first getting permission.
OP perhaps you need to pick less intrusive or nosey guys or even better set some rules before you leave them home alone. I also wonder if this snoopy guy is the same one you talk about in your profile??? | |
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