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| Helping himself to my computer...............
Posted: 8/29/2007 4:58:23 AM | I wouldn't let ANYONE "help themselves" to my ANYTHING while I was away...They wouldn't even be IN my house while I was away!!!
Oh, and this one...SAYS IT ALL: (LOL)
I have just one question......was he wearing your undies on his head while he was searching mapquest??????? | |
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| Helping himself to my computer...............
Posted: 8/29/2007 5:05:45 AM | Why communicate in a relationship when we can all just make assumptions?
Isn't that what all great relationships are made from?
So - my newest assumptions will be that any woman I date will clean my apartment, cut my grass (well, no grass to cut but she'd better water my plants!) not use my phone nor computer and turn the bathroom light on/off 3 times before using it.
Should I tell her this? Nope - will assume it; if she doesn't follow through with reading my mind or adhering to my unspoken personal beliefs/what's acceptable or not, I'll definitely get upset! | |
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| Helping himself to my computer...............
Posted: 8/29/2007 5:08:17 AM | He has NO right on your computer and never leave anyone in your home while you are not there. Listen to the news...there are NUTS out there and plenty on this site and other sites...everywhere...you have to be very very careful these days. I'd break up with him and block him from contacting me. Be nice about it. Don't use this experience the reason you are though. You don't want or need a man like that.  | |
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| Helping himself to my computer...............
Posted: 8/29/2007 5:14:47 AM | | Um... can anyone say "passwords"? It's a simple matter to password protect all accounts on a computer. You can even set one up for a guest that doesn't require a password, or needs just a simple one. Then, unless he's a hacker, you just politely offer that if he needs to use a computer, he can log in on that account. He does what he needs to do, and your personal data stay private. | |
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| Helping himself to my computer...............
Posted: 8/29/2007 5:17:09 AM | he helped himself to your computer, wonder what else he is helping himself to ?
^^ I hear you - hell, using someone's computer is definetly the beginning of a slippery slope to more deviant things in the relationship. I bet you he even used her bathroom! The nerve!
If the OP came home and found him mid-change as he was trying on her clothes then yea, I can see her getting upset. It was a computer - unplugged or not.
If you trust someone enough to leave them alone in your dwelling then either state the rules before you leave or don't get upset when they do everyday normal things like make a sandwich, use the computer or listen to music/watch TV.
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| Helping himself to my computer...............
Posted: 8/29/2007 5:17:58 AM | hmm well funny how you wouldnot have minded him mowing your lawn yet balk at teh co puter
both are tools , personally id b more upset if they used my mower without asking
mind you i have nothing to hide on my computer , and im not worried if anyone sees what i got on it
personal information should b safeguarded its your own fault, wht if he went through your underware drawers or snooped thru your old love letters? | |
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| Helping himself to my computer...............
Posted: 8/29/2007 5:19:13 AM | OP.. when you left for work.."unexpectedly"..did you perhaps tell him to "make himself at home"??????? was he in fact only doing as you suggested?....did you inventory the groceries?... maybe he ate some of your food too.. and how rude.... he didn't do your yard work?..... the nerve of some people's kids...
QUIT YER BITCHIN'... you left a stranger alone in your home.. be thankful he didn't move your stuff out...a U-HAUL and a couple of friends.. 2 hours and voila.. empty house...pooooof gone...and still no yard work done...
here's a hint.. hire a neighbours kid to mow.. they won't use your pc or peek in your undies drawer... | |
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| Helping himself to my computer...............
Posted: 8/29/2007 5:37:40 AM | The term ‘Personal Computer’ is just that. If you unplugged you PC, that should have been enough. You probably feel like he invaded your privacy. I don’t feel that it’s a matter of you trusting him, after all, you let him in your house alone, and could it be a matter of him trusting you? Could it be a matter of him snooping around going thru your person information? It’s like someone going thru your drawers or looking at you checkbook just to see what turns up.
No doubt this has bothered you, it would me… You might want to confront him on this matter. If you plan a long term relationship, trust is a must… From both of you.
If you don’t feel that the trust is there, let him use Map Quest one more time, and tell him where to go… (At least he’ll know how to get there)
vp | |
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| Helping himself to my computer...............
Posted: 8/29/2007 6:26:33 AM |
The term ‘Personal Computer’ is just that.
oh my god. the personal in "personal computer" suggests that the computer was marketed towards the individual consumer market, as opposed to a large corporation. it has nothing to do with your feelings regarding the data you choose to store on it, nor your view on who can and can't touch it. the computer is an appliance or device, and nothing special. i'm sick of people taking the personal out of personal computer to further their point. you can't base your standpoint on privacy on a misunderstanding of the nickname for a computer. its illogical. i'm sick of seeing people use this as an excuse to get mad at the dude for doing nothing wrong!
the only reason you wouldn't want somebody that you are close enough with to leave in your house while you are gone on your computer is because you have something to hide. if the computer was brand new, out of the box, you would have no problem. but after you use it for a year, and it accumulates your secrets, all of a sudden its time to pull the plug and get all scared that joe or marie checked their email and possibly came across something you'd rather have hidden. | |
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| Helping himself to my computer...............
Posted: 8/29/2007 6:29:49 AM | | you are overreacting big time, that would be the same as being angry at him becayse he had a shower without asking first. Its not as if he looked at personal information, read your email, or anything like that, he did something completely innocent. All i can say is calm down and dont blow things out of proportion | |
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| Helping himself to my computer...............
Posted: 8/29/2007 6:32:32 AM | Ummm, excuse me? You trusted him enough to let him stay at your house all day while you're at work? Then you feel violated because he used your computer? If he'd have turned on the tv or fixed himself some breakfast in your kitchen would you have felt the same? I see no problem with what he did. What, did you think he was gonna just sit around the house and do nothing all day?
Jim   | |
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| Helping himself to my computer...............
Posted: 8/29/2007 6:34:41 AM | | my god, get over it already, soe he used your computer, are you 47, or 12? simply put, if you wiwnt want him using it, you should have said something, you didnt, he used it, now be a mature woman and move on | |
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| Helping himself to my computer...............
Posted: 8/29/2007 7:11:45 AM | Recently met a really nice man from POF. Left him at my house for a day while I went to work. Um, this implies physical intimacy has been established, or the OP is just a fool for letting a total stranger roam about one's private property. Which is it?
Called him at lunch to see what he was doing. (Was hoping he was cutting my grass) Question: did you discuss specific parameters about what this gentleman was to do while you were at work? If not, you're just making ASS-U-mptions.
he said........Oh I am on mapquest on your computer. I was stunned, Did you discuss with this guy (intimacy partner or total stranger) that he was to NOT access your computer?
since I had purposely unplugged it, before leaving that day. Why is this detail included here? Did you tell him not to use unplugged appliances? Is there something on your computer you wish to hide from this gentleman?
I feel very violated now. Perhaps you should have thought how you might feel after leaving an intimacy partner/total stranger in your home for the day, assuming he is to cut your grass and not use MapQuest??
I personally.........would NEVER think of helping myself to someone elses computer without permission first. Am I wrong to feel this way? I think you should be having this discussion with your intimacy partner/total stranger friend.
Basically, you shouldn't leave someone in your house if you don't trust them. You obviously have trust issues with this gentleman. Best thing you can do is communicate better with him and clear this up. Perhaps you two are not meant for each other if you have such fundamental differences in computer usage in one other's home. | |
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| Helping himself to my computer...............
Posted: 8/29/2007 9:47:36 AM | What I am not getting is this you trusted him enough to leave him in your house.While you were gone, So protecting your bank accounts is out the window. If he was an invited guest into your home, you wanted him to mow your lawn. WTF...........
Get a grip if you don't want someone using your computer. Put passwords on it. He must of told you he used it. I am wondering what you had to hide, that he found out. To me there is more to this story to get our panties in such a twisted bunch. | |
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| Helping himself to my computer...............
Posted: 8/29/2007 9:59:52 AM | So many programs.... do your have ex-pro? .. then make it so that you must enter a password to start your computer.... solves the problem in the future... you are partially to blame if you left your computer open to anyone to sign on without your permission! Even if you did "unplug" it....
Next time.. maybe add him as a Guest Account... but remain the Admin...!!!
Girlflower | |
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| Helping himself to my computer...............
Posted: 8/29/2007 10:02:02 AM | | Uhhhh.... Why are you leaving guys that you met over the web at your house? I think you are lucky he just went on map quest, he could've robbed you instead. | |
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| Helping himself to my computer...............
Posted: 8/29/2007 10:08:25 AM | | pc stands for personal computer, if it was to check his e-mail, he still should've asked if you minded, common respect I guess, the best course of action is to be straight with him, but some people need lessons on how to read between the lines, just unplugging your pc was not straight forward enough | |
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| Helping himself to my computer...............
Posted: 8/29/2007 10:15:46 AM | | OP. Many people use a password to even log on after their computer is turned into the "on" mode. I suggest you'd aught to consider password protecting your computer in the future if you have any hopes of preventing people from prying on your pc if you allow them to be home alone amongst your belongings have you not wished them to be using your things without permission. Lastly you must be very trusting to leave someone alone with your thinks and NOT expect them to help themselves. This isn't good to do especially if you'd just met someone or have you known this person for a while? Either way what's wrong with you letting this person stay by himself like this? You clearly have a problem with him looking through your things so how about next time don't leave anyone alone with your belongings unless you are ok with them helping themselves. | |
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| Helping himself to my computer...............
Posted: 8/29/2007 10:21:04 AM | | You are more trusting than I unless I knew him really well. My checkbook, tax returns, emails from old boyfriends & photo's, my kids information, social security numbers, all of that is on my computer. I trust very few people to get on my computer and play around all day. Password & guest account quick! | |
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Jooly
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Joined: 6/15/2007
Msg: 96 | |
| Helping himself to my computer...............
Posted: 8/29/2007 10:21:58 AM | I'm with the OP on this. My laptop isn't just an appliance like a toaster for me - it's my hi fi (not that hi!), DVD player, office, file store and playground. I would probably specifically have let the guy know that he *could* use it, since there's nothing dodgy on there, but would be shocked too if I didn't give him permission and he went ahead and used it anyway. It's a part of my personal space.
I mean, there's nothing shocking in my underwear drawer, but I'd feel rather invaded if I discovered he'd been going through it without my permission. | |
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| Helping himself to my computer...............
Posted: 8/29/2007 10:31:09 AM | | What were you expecting OP? That the grown man being alone there would not know how to plug in a computer and start it up?LOL.. Seriously , the part I found odd in this is when you put this: Recently met a really nice man from POF. Left him at my house for a day while I went to work. HOW do you know he would not case the place when you were gone to leave him there ALONE when you just RECENTLY met him? DOH..Want to see what he did check the history icon. | |
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| Helping himself to my computer...............
Posted: 8/29/2007 10:37:19 AM | Well a few things here. You should have never had some guy that you just met period stay at your place alone while you went to work. No offence but what were you thinking there? Also if you seen him as good enough to cut your lawn for you, then I suppose that you can't complain too much since he sort of took advange of a few things in your home.
Yes it was totally wrong that he did that, but lesson to be learned from this, never do what you did and don't expect someone to help you cut your lawn that you just met either. Kick the guy out, and move on thats my advice. | |
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| Helping himself to my computer...............
Posted: 8/29/2007 10:37:59 AM | If you don't want anyone on your computer, password protect it or tell them straight out that you don't want them on your computer. You didn't tell him and you didn't put a password on your computer so you can't really blame him for using it, can you?
Personally, I feel uncomfortable using anyone's computer. I know how personal it can be and how much sensitive information it could have on it (like financial stuff, etc). I'm all about respecting people's privacy AND property. Unless they EXPRESSLY said I can use their computer I wouldn't even think of going anywhere near it and I would expect them to show me the same respect.
Happy fishing.  | |
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| Helping himself to my computer...............
Posted: 8/29/2007 10:45:39 AM |
the only reason you wouldn't want somebody that you are close enough with to leave in your house while you are gone on your computer is because you have something to hide. if the computer was brand new, out of the box, you would have no problem. but after you use it for a year, and it accumulates your secrets, all of a sudden its time to pull the plug and get all scared that joe or marie checked their email and possibly came across something you'd rather have hidden.
You have got to me joking? First of all I am very protective of all things that I own. They are my things, I paid for them and I take great care of my things, why would anyone want anyone to just help themselves to your stuff. As for a computer being new, heck if my computer was brand new, I would want nobody to touch it even more so then if it was 2 years old. As for things hidden, consider this. Would you want someone to just go through your personal mail in the mail box? I'm talking snail mail here. Hey big deal right, Joe smuck owes a electric bill this month, ok why would that matter if some person she just met looked at her bills for the month?
It's private property and nobody wants to be intruded upon from someone seeing anything personal. It could be a letter she has in her mail on her computer to her mom for example. Is that something to be ashamed of if seen? No, but it's also nobodys business but the owner of that computer or mail.
I say consider what you said, I really don't think you want anyone in your business either. It was not right that she left the guy at her place alone, but he also had no business on her computer and who knows what else he did while she was away. | |
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