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Show ALL Forums  > British Columbia  > Guys claiming they want long term relationship.......      Home login  
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 Jack_sprat
Joined: 4/8/2007
Msg: 51
Guys claiming they want long term relationship.......Page 3 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
I don't get it.


People are trying to live life, as if they were in a Timmies drive-thru, "I want it, I want it now, and it better be perfect !"

Spending 20 hours with someone who claims to be searching for a long-term relationship, is NOT a huge investment.

Many bad marriages last for 17 years, before someone wises up and decides this is not working.

 banjaboy
Joined: 5/20/2006
Msg: 52
Guys claiming they want long term relationship.......
Posted: 10/14/2007 5:02:44 PM
I have found women to be the same, claiming long term but seeking something different. POF is a wonderful place in many ways but when it comes down to it, its free, you get what you pay for they say. I haven;t been on a "pay site " and I'm sure someone will correct me, but if you have to pay for contacts, perhaps that cuts down on playing the field, promise you anything men and women that are here amongst all the rest of you wonderful folks. " You have to kiss many frogs to find a Prince[or Princess"]
 leigh51
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 53
Guys claiming they want long term relationship.......
Posted: 10/14/2007 5:14:49 PM
I am also on a paid site and the only difference I have found is that there are a lot more men on this site in my area than the paid site. For me it's like a bushel of apples. Still sorting through to find one that is not fermented, not to bruised and definitly firm!
 Cascadian
Joined: 8/19/2007
Msg: 54
Guys claiming they want long term relationship.......
Posted: 10/14/2007 9:18:20 PM
Your post says you had 2 phone calls with him and a 20 hour date.
That is hardly enough time for you to decide that he is your dream guy.
When you say he is getting his thrills does that mean after 2 phone calls and your 20 hour date you had sex with him?
It sounds like it to me correct me if I am wrong.
You need to step back and look at what you have written.
No one falls in love after 2 phone calls and a 20 hour date. Unless of course it was 1 hour of dinner and 19 hours of fireworks because any session that lasts that long could be classified as getting thrills.
Maybe you are lonely and this was the best date you've had since coming to this circus.
Cheer up every once in a while you pull up a rubber boot
Anyway I don't fantasize about my ex so no worries about that with me.Ill be waiting
 Temptation50
Joined: 5/13/2007
Msg: 55
Guys claiming they want long term relationship.......
Posted: 10/14/2007 10:31:51 PM
Brings a whole new meaning to ''buyer beware'' eh??
I'm not so sure posting anything other than ''friends'' is realistic......more wishfull thinking than anything else.
Even dating starts off in the friends relm......
I'm sure if two really connected that status would change.......mutually.
 *Nuff Said*
Joined: 4/9/2007
Msg: 56
Guys claiming they want long term relationship.......
Posted: 10/15/2007 12:36:01 PM
I'm amazed mankind has made it this far.

The only one you have any control over is you.

So you'd be a fool to waste to much time grieving about
anything that's not in your control.

Take everything with a grain of salt,no matter what is said by whom.

The only constant in your like is going to be change.

Some change their minds, like the wind changes direction.

Believe nothing you hear and half of what you see.

It will be quite apparent who wants long term,in the long run.

Look for the lesson, it was there what was it?

Learn and move on a little wiser.
 Older but wizer
Joined: 11/10/2007
Msg: 57
Guys claiming they want long term relationship.......
Posted: 11/23/2007 12:22:05 PM
Get it through your heads girls. MEN do not live by bread alone. Saying no to ANTHING that resemble a sugestion of intimacy now , near future or in a long trem relationship is absolute crap.

I just had a very attractive person turndown a dinner date and was upset that I like the romantic Quiet time alsao I said I loved running my fingers through the hair. to her it was an intimate act. no date now!!!!!! Thank God. Loving a person is one hell of a lot more that Dinner , holding hands , and paying the bills.

IF you have no interest in NORMAL DESIRES that are genetically programed then get the hell off POF and join a convent.

Hell I have had a lot of fun petting and teasing. One active REAL woman got a nickname from me that I only used when we were in private. PUDDLES!!!!!!! just use your imagination.

"L"
 samadongshi2
Joined: 6/22/2006
Msg: 58
Guys claiming they want long term relationship.......
Posted: 11/23/2007 12:37:20 PM
^^ too funny^^ still laughing and will post more at a later date.
 Pink Rose Lady
Joined: 10/1/2006
Msg: 59
Guys claiming they want long term relationship.......
Posted: 11/23/2007 11:58:48 PM
You don't have a lot invested in this, so count your blessings that you know where you stand and move on. At least he had the guts to tell you what he really wants; some guys find that difficult to do for some reason I haven't quite figure out yet.

I find it interesting that so many people write on topics just like this one, they had one date and expected a fairy tale ending. They get bummed out when it doesn't turn out that way. If it was so darn easy, everyone would be doing it!

Pink
 samadongshi2
Joined: 6/22/2006
Msg: 60
Guys claiming they want long term relationship.......
Posted: 11/24/2007 12:27:18 AM
long term, short term, dating etc it's all a mess as far as i can tell.
having a great date doesn't mean he wants to marry u mmmm maybe i am reading too much into this.
He wants his ex therefore he wants longterm , yes ultimately for many of us that were in LTR we miss that of having someone around all the time to do things with, laugh with, cry with and have intimacy with.
It's gotta start somewhere and for me it needs to be friends first and foremost. I married my first b/f and were together for almost 28 years but our friendship faded over the years which was sad and makes me misty eyed as i write. It would be nice to have that once again and i find that I fall into the same predicament dating men that have the same personality as my ex but yet thank goodness have their own differences.
It seems that I am attracted to Piscean men for some strange reason and again the ex was Pisces arghhhhh!

I truly wish there is a blank category for what we r looking for on this site.
On most occassions i don't know what i am looking for.... someone who allows me to be me and not to tell me what to do etc.
 mindmyownbusiness
Joined: 11/1/2007
Msg: 61
They should have a BLANK BOX for "I don't know"
Posted: 11/24/2007 7:59:10 AM

I truly wish there was a blank category for what we are looking for on this site
YAP!!!

Well....maybe he should have said "frienship"or "others", however you must have missed the important part of the interview process ( how I call it)...when you ask specific questions and put your perception at work. ( Quests: are you in good terms with your ex wife? Are you still emotionally connected to her? Are you emotionally available?). See.... for me it is emotional availability that counts, for friends, daters, and long term. You are lucky it was only 20 hours....But.....as I always say " You get what you deserve".....meaning.: it is up to you to make sure you find out, and being a woman,how can you not detect liar? I thought we had a special talent for that! Plus....what can you really expect after a 20 hours encounter! Darling, just be a bit more realistic: Liars exist, insecure people exist, burned-out people exist.....some don't even know for theirselves what is that they want or need. Some don't even know, till they meet the right one, that they are over their ex! And if they don't get over it, perhaps you are not that special match ( forgive me for this). I really think that what you are looking for depends on the person you "meet" at the level of the heart and of the mind. Plus....we change everyday......today we feel we are ready for long-term, tomorrow we are so frustrated that can only imagine ourselves single, sometimes we just need a "friend" to talk to and vent our frustration......All sorts and shapes ( Am I the only chameleon here? I am who I am NOW).

A discussion on feelings should always be a must.
 whitetigeress
Joined: 6/28/2007
Msg: 62
Guys claiming they want long term relationship.......
Posted: 11/24/2007 8:51:18 AM
I guess I am to new to the dating scene as well. I apparently am too naive. I had all my hopes set for a great guy to come my way. He made me believe he was that guy. But, wow, never heard that one before, so it pretty much blew my mind. Good point, seperated generally does mean still attached. Thanks for that!!

^^ there is your mistake, you're new at this therefore naive which raised your hope
you thought too soon he was "that guy"

but you mustn't fault him for being honest with you when you asked that question.. he could have lied ..... but he didn't!
and now you go on to blast all men who claim to want long term
if you think about it .. this guy is telling the truth.. he does want long term! but apparently with a lookalike of his ex

next time.. don't look for the "one", just enjoy the dates and continue to ask these questions to keep communication lines open and honesty in the forefront and one day
sooner than later it will become apparent that he is indeed the one
best o' luck angel
we've all fallen and scraped our knees then got up and tried all over again


A discussion on feelings should always be a must.
^^ ayyyy but not too soon!! men aren't as emotionally inclined to discuss feelings like us women are lol
BUT... we can be sneaky about it ***snickers
 samadongshi2
Joined: 6/22/2006
Msg: 63
Guys claiming they want long term relationship.......
Posted: 11/24/2007 9:04:15 AM
try "SERIAL DATING" ............... OMFG the guys do it all the time and so y shouldn't women? .............................

I'm not a player but just weeding out the nastiness...............................
there is a catch out there for each and everyone of us............ it's just HAVING the ability to be more discerning.
Irregardless, I have made many INCREDIBLY wonderful friends from all walks of life and from all social economic status groups.
This is a site that has been coined on several occassions as PLENTY OF FRIENDS!
 mindmyownbusiness
Joined: 11/1/2007
Msg: 64
Guys claiming they want long term relationship.......
Posted: 11/24/2007 9:08:40 AM
To Mess 62: WHITE TIGRESS ( White tigeress? Is this a new species? :)) :

I meant feelings about life in general! This should be a must.
 whitetigeress
Joined: 6/28/2007
Msg: 65
Guys claiming they want long term relationship.......
Posted: 11/24/2007 9:26:19 AM
OMFG the guys do it all the time and so y shouldn't women?

^^ i , so, agree!!! but oh god lest we get painted with she's a slut brush and funny thing is we may have never slept with any of our dates!

yes mindmyownbusiness (dayum your name is longer then mine!) i concur
 Ch33tah
Joined: 8/14/2006
Msg: 66
view profile
History
Guys claiming they want long term relationship.......
Posted: 11/24/2007 9:46:20 AM
I have only one bit of advice "Consider the source" this is the internet people! I have had so many "coffee's" with men I have met on here that I practically float. 9 times out of 10 (yes this is based on who I have met) nothing in their profile was accurate, for the most part whether it said long term, friends, dating there was one agenda, GET LAID!

I am sure not ALL men are like this, there is that 1 out of 10 that was decent, you know who you are ;-)

Don't email back and forth for long
Meet for coffee first
Keep your first date short and sweet
Whatever you do DON'T have sex unless you don't want to see him again.

Just my 2 cents


 57LEBOWSKI
Joined: 3/2/2006
Msg: 67
view profile
History
Guys claiming they want long term relationship.......
Posted: 11/24/2007 3:53:58 PM
well, if hadnt claimed he wanted a long term relationship, you wouldnt have slept with him.by claiming this hes increasing his chances of sex.if he told the truth, he'd have less chance .not nice, but i spose it works for him.
 Red_Jordie
Joined: 11/17/2007
Msg: 68
Guys claiming they want long term relationship.......
Posted: 11/25/2007 7:04:31 PM
I think this happens a lot more than people think it does and I applaud angelwings courage for speaking up. What happened in those 20 hours is irrelavant, he had plenty of time (plus phone calls and emails) to spit out what was really going on. He knew exactly what he was doing. I, for one am tired of people like this. Was there a lesson to be learned? Probably. Was it his lesson to give and was it deserved? I think not.
My first ever post in a forum. Thanks for listening.
 Sweet sunshine
Joined: 10/5/2007
Msg: 69
Guys claiming they want long term relationship.......
Posted: 11/25/2007 7:13:12 PM
what if he really is wanting a long term relationship......but realized 'not with the OP'?

isn't that what 'dating' is about....meeting, talking, sharing then seeing if there is a possiblity of something more. Long term doesn't happen overnight, you build up to deciding you want to 'be' with this person. No matter which 'option' is checked in the box.....things change when 'the one' walks through the door
 BillTheCard
Joined: 8/10/2007
Msg: 70
Guys claiming they want long term relationship.......
Posted: 11/26/2007 3:57:22 PM
I still don't get it... I mean a hit and run f..k is one thing some girls complain about... and I suppose sometimes some girls are just happy if the guy doesn't actually try calling the fictional number she gave him.... or try looking her up at the fictional place of employment (MEI?) that she mentioned

But you say the guy hung out with you for 20 hours... and then decided later that u aren't his long-term dream woman after all? You make it sound like the guy was just too damn honest to take advantage of your mutual physical need just for his own benefit... It is hard for me to find any fault with his behavior. If the 20 hours was wasted -- then it could only have been wasted because you were having a crap.py time and were not swift enouh to say GTG-bye. If it was fun -- then clearly it was not wasted. Fun is fun after all.

If you are highly desperate to meet a long-term -- I feel it only fair to warn you that desperation leads to predation. Some predators out there are always looking to take advantage of desparate people, and you are way too easy a mark from what I have read so far. Feel fortunate you don't live down here where there are hundreds of them.

If a guy just sounds like something to you on the profile, and is in fact something else, this isn't really grounds to get upset about being conned.

I myself went on a nice meet and greet with Shamu the other night, who had mistakenly clicked "few extra" on her profile It didn't bother me. She is a nice woman, but is clearly not going to be quite active enough to keep up with me. And I am plus one new friendly-type acquaintance. I wish her well and if she meets the guy of her dreams on here I'd be happy to dance at their wedding and drink a toast to the bride...

Hugs.
 Doc Sage
Joined: 10/19/2007
Msg: 71
Guys claiming they want long term relationship.......
Posted: 11/26/2007 9:25:04 PM
I do believe that all of us ARE looking for a "long term relationship", but...but...but...when do we know that this is the right one...the one that will last unless we start at the beginning...with a simple date.

...we got to start somewhere. A date here and there is test the water temperature (LOL), a fling the kept our fins well lube and, hopefully, the real thing.

Doc Sage
 diet7up
Joined: 2/9/2008
Msg: 72
Guys claiming they want long term relationship.......
Posted: 2/26/2008 10:46:02 PM
20 hours is a long time relationship for certain guys
 WesternRose
Joined: 1/14/2008
Msg: 73
Guys claiming they want long term relationship.......
Posted: 2/26/2008 11:05:55 PM
There needs to be another choice I think... perhaps something to talk to Big Fish about... I mean...how can my put down a choice like Long Term and disount other choices?

here is the example...you put down your DO NOT CONTACT ME list and you don't want someone interested in Dating?...well...how are you going to make initial contact that could potentially lead to a Long Term thing?

perhaps a Choice of: Hoping for a Long Term, Dreaming of Long Term, Let's start with Dating and strive for Long Term....

I don't know!!!! Guys who have Long Term on their profiles scare the Beeegeeeeeebies out of me... slow down guys.....and the ones who are in their late 40s..and 50s...single...no kids...who want kids...eeeeeeek!... ...get me out of here fast!
 Rewbin
Joined: 1/23/2006
Msg: 74
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Guys claiming they want long term relationship.......
Posted: 2/27/2008 2:50:16 AM
That is VERY true Men as well as Women do the same thing. Before I met the women I live with from her at POF. I was a seeker of the "Long term" and let me tell you there are a lot of women who play the Same game as men do. I have been tricked about 4 times by women here. My profile is Very clear I think that in it I am a VERY horny person.

However I do not see the point in having "One night stands". What is the point in that??? what you get lucky once in 1 week "Lmfao" ( Laughing my F en ass off ). That is not enough for me. I would rather be lucky 24/7 then once in a week...

I am rather lucky though the Women I met her. We have been living together for 2 years now. I am VERY happy with her and she is Happy with me. She has 3 children living with her, however her children are a part of her and they come 1st. I Never had a problem with that and I still do not...
 Rewbin
Joined: 1/23/2006
Msg: 75
view profile
History
Guys claiming they want long term relationship.......
Posted: 2/27/2008 3:18:45 AM
I am a Very hounest person. I think my profile is Very hounest as well. There is NO point lieing, how can you have a relationship with a person based on lies???

When I found this site Yes I was Very horny that is NO lie, however I do not try to hide around the truth, though I have always had my setting on "Long term".

Here is a tip I'm almost 37 ok when I used to look for women here ALL the women who show there cleavage like "Cl33tah" dose I do not even bother to look at there profile. In my eyes she is a slut showing it off. There are 1000's of men who see her pic and wake off I'm sure...So she gets what she gets and that is the resson for her wonderful luck.

I'm 37 and I have had gf's from here who are 49 years old, for to me your only as old as you feel. My comon law wife I have been with for 2 years now is 28 years old. I met her here at POF I was lucky to find her and we are Very happy Still...
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