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| my ex is dyeing with cancer what do i do
Posted: 10/22/2007 5:49:08 PM | oh my gosh Cindy!!!  
your story brought tears to my eyes!!!
I agree with the lines "help him like you would help anybody else"
alot of people deal with this kind of situation differently..people can be negative about the ex partner thing and no it not nice ur friends are sayin its pay back...its not this could happen to anybody!!
I wish i could give you a massive hug and just let it all out.
i know its not fair..trust me.
If u need someone to talk to at anytime...your more than welome to send me an email. :) please take care
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| my ex is dyeing with cancer what do i do
Posted: 10/22/2007 5:57:28 PM | Hi Cindy,
Let me first say.. I am sorry for what you are going thru. Life certainly does teach
us some hard lessons... Trouble is.. we have to figure out which one in right or wrong for us..
Please let me relay my story.. I had been seperated from my husband for almost a year.
Almost to the day, of him leaving our marriage.. he was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer..stage four.. possibly live from 3 mos to 2 yrs.
Have to say.. even being seperated.. I went thru the should have, would have scenarios...
Fortunately, we were best of friends, did not have the fortune of having any children.
Had we been so fortunate.. I would still stand by these words.
In my opinion , Cindy, it does take a long time to forgive a person for past wrong doing.
In my case, I am not sure when this exactly happened... However, I do know that
during the last months of his life.. priorites became clearer, it no longer was about being right or wrong. I did forgive him. I found in the end.. that little else matters,
you were once a family unit.. and forever shall be.. Lighten your heart...
and allow forgiviness and strenth to prevail.. In my opionion.. What does not killl you.. will make you a stronger person... Do Take Care. | |
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| my ex is dyeing with cancer what do i do
Posted: 10/22/2007 7:28:01 PM | | Well, the best and only thing for you to do is forgive and forget. Because he has cancer is not a reason to take him back. It will not make him live longer nor will it cure his problem. Let him stay with whomever he's with. Just treat him nice. Your blessings comes from the lord! You will feel better. | |
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| my ex is dyeing with cancer what do i do
Posted: 10/22/2007 8:15:43 PM | no1b4me72 , first thing Jack Booohoooo hooooo & BITE ME ..............
second thing, instead of coddling this woman and taking the political correct BS stance, and show the ladies on here oh you're so super sensitive nice guys, re read her original post sport and subsequent posts
My daddy done told me, if you're trying to be cool, no1b4me72 its better to rub chicken fat all over yourself.
What is it that they say in Mississippi?? oh yeah that dog don't hunt? and the sun shine on a dog's ass somedays.
Next time bring something to the table | |
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| my ex is dyeing with cancer what do i do
Posted: 10/22/2007 8:30:59 PM | well take it easy i'm new to all this crap cancer is serious there was abuse or sickness maybe alot are schizophrenic bad treatment. ok so the alcohol is a cancer contributor but sounds like the cancer will continue. you need treatment if you can good luck. our food is not safe and you have to exercise. well good luck. we are doctors i can help. my family is wacky maybe we will die from the food amen. linda if you want to write.   | |
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| my ex is dyeing with cancer what do i do
Posted: 10/22/2007 11:18:43 PM | | i want to thank everyone who gave me advise.it, only his brother and sister in law who is trying to make me and my daughtur fill like it, our responsbilty to take cear of my ex.and i don,t really think that,s what thay are trying to do.it,s just coming off like that.it,s his mom and only hi mom who i really taking cear of him.me and my childern all have gone to see him.but even when we go to ee him his mom is right thare.he ha really got a great mother.the doctors have given him only 3 to 6 mos to live.he,s lost weight every where but his face.and it is sweeled real big.my best friend told me since his face is welled so big she don,t think he has very long to live.she went though the same thing with her sister a couple of years ago and her face swelled like that.and as far as you go jack as i am thinking of going back for my ged but i have more inpornant things to worry about right now than how i pell and stuff.any way,s i want to thank everyone of you who gave me good advise. | |
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| my ex is dyeing with cancer what do i do
Posted: 10/23/2007 2:50:15 AM | | this is one of the best women i have every known. she is sweet honest and very caring. shes a great friend. if there was more people like her. the world would be a lot better. now hun you know me. but if he still drinks i don't think it would be a good thing to get involved with him again. but i know you want to help him. so do this sit down with him. tell him how you feel. but tell him that you will only do it if he gets help with the drinking. your to good to go through that again. if he gets help then be with him. in anyway you see fit. i know you still care about him. if he don't get help then wish him the best if you pray then do that for him. but do what ever you feel is best for you not him. and you know I'm here if you need me. i am truly sorry for your pain. | |
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| my ex is dyeing with cancer what do i do
Posted: 10/23/2007 3:45:55 AM | Dear Cindy, this is a time of closure for you and your daughter, for all of his family and everyone he has hurt and who hurt him. I hope the coming months bring you that closure, a sense of growing peace and healing in your life. Yes he has filled a lot of years of your life, most of it in fact in one way or another. I am sure right now his heart would tell you that he wishes he hadn't done the things he did even if he can't say them.
I went to a friend's ex's funeral with her. He had been a very aggressive man, but towards the end he began to realise what he had done, at his funeral he had requested the song, "If I only had time". I could only think - well my friend - that time passed long ago, what is before you now - is your life begun anew...you are entering now into "Time for you" at long long last.
You are a more forgiving woman than me, I hope you find a man truly worthy of someone like you. | |
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| my ex is dyeing with cancer what do i do
Posted: 10/23/2007 8:10:21 AM | | thank you wanted and silver very much.he,s not drinking anymore.but he,s only bene stoped to weeks.and ye wanted i know you and i know you will be honest with me.and i know you will be thare for me.agian thank everyone of you | |
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| my ex is dyeing with cancer what do i do
Posted: 10/23/2007 11:54:04 AM | I'm sorry to hear that your ex isn't well, you could some how be there for him for the sake of your children as a friend. Since, you've known him a long time. The kids should spend more time with him as well before time can take what they had away from them.
A friend of mine stood by her ex's side as well while he was dying, and she stood by him all the way for the sake of her kids. It's sad when you don't know wot to do but pray for someone who's been a part of you and your children you had together.
Life isn't fair but...... all you can do now is just be there. | |
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| my ex is dyeing with cancer what do i do
Posted: 10/25/2007 11:52:57 AM |
no1b4me72 , first thing Jack Booohoooo hooooo & BITE ME ..............
second thing, instead of coddling this woman and taking the political correct BS stance, and show the ladies on here oh you're so super sensitive nice guys, re read her original post sport and subsequent posts
My daddy done told me, if you're trying to be cool, no1b4me72 its better to rub chicken fat all over yourself.
What is it that they say in Mississippi?? oh yeah that dog don't hunt? and the sun shine on a dog's ass somedays.
Next time bring something to the table
It has nothing to do with being political correct or showing anything to anyone. It has to do with right and wrong, something you obviously know nothing about jackass. Just because your parent(s) didn't raise you with any values or morals doesn't mean that anyone here should have to be called names and insulted by you. As for the rest of your incoherent babbling, I could care less idiot !!!! | |
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| my ex is dyeing with cancer what do i do
Posted: 10/25/2007 12:17:28 PM | Mahogny,
Do you really think anything you've said to this lady was helpful? If nothing else, it was probably some of the most harmful words on this site I've seen.
She may or may not be as intelligent as you feel she should be or up to your level of intelligence. I hope that is a personal flaw and not a Canadian flaw.
She may or may not have intermarried and/or been inbred. If she was, what is it to you? Are you her daddy, brother, or son?
She is obviously hurting and found this forum the way to reach out to people that were not too close to the situation for advice. Now, I will agree, that she should not take him into her home.
If Cindy wishes to have compassion in heart for a person who has obviously taken on a life that will probably not garner him many "good boy points", that's her business. It sounds like she's very troubled by this. Why make it worse by degrading her?
And finally, Cindy, this is a decision you have to make. You must remember the past, think of your children/family, and most of all think of what your heart is saying. If you will feel better and may find healing of your own by showing compassion to a man who was horrible to you, that should be your choice. I know that a higher being will think great things about you and will remember you when it is your time to either have your own medical situation or your final judgement day.
Do not let one or two people who are ignorant to your situation and say mean things to you deter you from doing what your heart feels. The mean spirited, hateful words spewed to you were probably nothing you haven't heard already from your ex. Unfortunately you had to deal with the emotional abuse at home as well as physical. You do NOT have to deal with emotional abuse from someone who does not know you, your life, and lives thousands of miles from you.
You will find your answer if you seek it, internally.
Liz | |
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| my ex is dyeing with cancer what do i do
Posted: 10/25/2007 1:01:29 PM | okcgreeneyes1029, somebody needs to re read what i wrote, if you bothered to read my entire thread the last part was address to another poster, but arent we quick to pounce on someone because they (you and that other eggplant) misread what I said.
I stand by what I said, I dont know why anyone would take back a abuser under any circumstances, she left him which means she finally figured out or had the strength to leave(that I applaud) but to consider taking him back, so what if he finds out she's online looking to meet someone, what then? what happens if he beats her again knowing that his time on earth is numbered, its a little extreme but one never knows, no one but the OP knows what she went through and Im sure some of the ladies on here who have gone through abuse will tell you.
She ( the OP) should consider going back to school and learn to write or something , her writing his horrible, its not a knock against her its telling her the truth, instead of sugar coating and telling her to let this prick come back in her life, let her move on and improve her life,
It has nothing to do with being political correct or showing anything to anyone. It has to do with right and wrong, something you obviously know nothing about jackass. Just because your parent(s) didn't raise you with any values or morals doesn't mean that anyone here should have to be called names and insulted by you. As for the rest of your incoherent babbling, I could care less idiot !!!!- no1b4me72 Obviously you're having problems reading since ive addressed it with Liz, I will have her explain it to you Hillbilly. | |
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| my ex is dyeing with cancer what do i do
Posted: 10/25/2007 1:34:17 PM |
okcgreeneyes1029, somebody needs to re read what i wrote, if you bothered to read my entire thread the last part was address to another poster, but arent we quick to pounce on someone because they (you and that other eggplant) misread what I said.
I don't think anyone misread anything. Your just not even man enough to admit what you said. You don't get much respect in life do you ???
Cindy, Im sorry if this seems a little on the rude side, bu why in God's name would you want to take care of a man who beats you and abuse you? good Lord I wonder if its the inbreeding down there, you know its fine that you have compassion but stupidity is another, a leopard doesn't change his spots
Well you basically called her inbreed and stupid right here.
3) Instead of worrying about taking care of this deadbeat, why don't you maybe go back to school, did you at least finish the 8th grade? or buy hooked on phonics or something, I swear it I thought it was a break dancing chicken on crack who posted this
And here you called her a break dancing chicken on crack, implied that she didn't get past the 8th grade, was on hooked on phonics, and called someone who she deeply cares about and dying of cancer a deadbeat. So I don't think anyone read it wrong. Your just such an internet warrior and tough guy that you have to make fun of someone else's misery. | |
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| my ex is dyeing with cancer what do i do
Posted: 10/25/2007 2:11:51 PM | have you brought something to this thread Eggplant? no you just came on to attack me because you didnt like what I said, and you thought this would bring you brownie points with the ladies........... and you thought i was going to roll over like some possum that got run over by Billy Bob's pick up truck ...............wrong Jack.
You don't get much respect in life do you ??? again with the assumptions, im going to dumb it down for you Hillbilly, this there thread aint bout good ole me , its A Cindy darn thread, I reckon we as talk bout her sit uation bub.
Well you basically called her inbreed and stupid right here. wrong again Sport, I actually said I wonder if its the inbreeding down there.
And here you called her a break dancing chicken on crack, implied that she didn't get past the 8th grade, was on hooked on phonics, and called someone who she deeply cares about and dying of cancer a deadbeat. So I don't think anyone read it wrong. Your just such an internet warrior and tough guy that you have to make fun of someone else's misery I will address the last part, go back and re read my original post S L O W L Y this time
you know its fine that you have compassion but stupidity is another, a leopard doesn't change his spots, if this guy is looking for forgiveness from you is one thing,forgiveness for his life tell him to go to church................... but for someone to take care of him while he's dying? Im sorry I have no sympathy for wife beaters just as I feel the same apathy towards women who considered staying with guys who abuses them when they know what the guy did is WRONG-Mahogany Rush ( MSG 41) here I just copied and paste part of my original post
I don't have any sympathy for Wife beaters nor do I have any sympathy for a person who would take back a abuser, knowing what the person did was wrong OR DID YOU NOT SEE THAT .......... If Cindy came on here and said she's in a relationship with a abuser who beats her, then for sure a lot of people would be there to assist her, but she was strong enough to leave this prick, and now he's dying it makes it ok? bullshit, he is what is he is ............. she knows the guy better then any of us, Im looking at it from a different angle, you are just corralling votes to be popular with the ladies, hows it going so far superstar | |
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| my ex is dyeing with cancer what do i do
Posted: 10/25/2007 4:06:26 PM | You know what mahogany moron, as much as I hate to agree with you. One thing you said is correct. This thread is about Cindy, not your lack of people skills or manners. Now you can leave this thread and follow me around the forums play your silly childish games.
So, to Cindy and everyone else reading this thread, I sincerely apologize for lowering myself to someone else's level and being part of taking this thread off topic. Hopefully, it did some good and he will think before he opens his mouth and insults people again, but I doubt it.
Cindy, I can't tell you what to do and would hate to be in your situation. Just remember that you have the final decision. No one else will have to live with this decision but you, so do what feels the most comfortable and appropriate. Good luck to you and take care !!! | |
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| my ex is dyeing with cancer what do i do
Posted: 10/25/2007 4:25:19 PM | | My suggestions without really knowing your situation is do what's right for you, that might include doing what's right for your ex? Having children in the mix I suggest professional counseling for you and the children, and if possible your x. Your children's needs come first, you will be well searved in that process. A highly qualified psychiatrist who has had experience with children from broken homes and if your lucky has some experience with a case similar to yours would be a good start, maybe if they feel someone is better qualified they can refer you. The ideal would be to resolve as many issues as you can with your x, have your kids health protected or improved psychologically in the process. At the very end you would all be able to go on or in your x's case, rest in peace. The key if the process works is forgiveness, you will never be hurt by lingering doubts or guilt, your children will have a chance to have their problems with their dad resolved with a sense of closure. It's not a perfect world, I don't know if any of this is possible for you? In an ideal world what I described is what I think a good professional or cleric would prescribe. The best way to solve problems in lives is to have some happy ending. You have my sympathy. | |
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| my ex is dyeing with cancer what do i do
Posted: 10/25/2007 4:32:18 PM | hey No1b4me72, you were the one that started the bashing gunslinger, i just didn't roll over like you hoped I would, every post you posted had name calling so get off your high horse white knight routine , just like in another thread you were exposed for the pretentious fop you really are.
At least Okcgreeneyes had the common courtesy to address what i said and i responded , instead of you and your diatribe and benighted comments Jack.
Now you can leave this thread and follow me around the forums play your silly childish games.no1b4me72 thats a pretty arrogant comment because you think you're God's gift, if you have pat your self on the back confidence isnt among the many virtues you ascribe to yourself.
good luck to you
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| my ex is dyeing with cancer what do i do
Posted: 10/25/2007 4:35:11 PM | "he was acholic and he beat me.well any ways i thought i was over him.i didn,t even want to be around him or talk to him because of the way he treated me."
Sounds like you two have been through some tough times. Anyways, I heard somewhere that you are only regretful of the things that you didn't do, and not the things that you did so much. | |
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| my ex is dyeing with cancer what do i do
Posted: 10/25/2007 4:41:23 PM | No matter what he is your children's father and if you want to help him you should! Ignore what people say you "should" do. Soon this man will be gone and he or you will not be able to mend bridges. I will not insult your intelligence by saying it will be incredibly hard work looking after this man because i'm sure you are already aware of that. However, do not do it because you feel guilty or you feel you ought to; you have nothing to feel guilty about and you owe this man nothing! Whatever you decide, take advice but don't let others influence your descision.
Good luck!
Claire. | |
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