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| Is it wrong to want a Friend with Benefits?
Posted: 9/1/2007 11:47:28 PM | The rules must be set form both people. As someone that was a friends with benefits and didn't know the ending is not good. The sex is over and the friendship is lost. I don't see a problem with it if your both willing to go for it. It can be safer then just a one night stand at the bar. Also if they are a friend of yours or become a good friend. treat them with the respect the deserve if it stop working for you. JMO | |
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| Is it wrong to want a Friend with Benefits?
Posted: 9/2/2007 12:53:04 AM |
The key to a set up like that is 2 strong minded and very secure people.
Very important to make sure the rules are laid out and u stay true to those rules. Respect eachother and have fun..
These relationships can work, IMO if both parties involved can keep the rules...most ppl can get along much better when there's no expectations and /or pressure!!! | |
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| Is it wrong to want a Friend with Benefits?
Posted: 9/2/2007 3:49:15 AM | I think we already ran the OP off... LOL
I had a great FWB situation several years ago. We were both on the same page, and had a great time together. If I could find a situation like that again, it would be ideal for me. It's not for everyone certainly, and definitely not for someone looking for their last great love...but can be completely satisfying if that's all both parties want. | |
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| Is it wrong to want a Friend with Benefits?
Posted: 9/2/2007 4:47:38 AM | | Not everyone is in the right place in their life to commit to a Real Healthy relationship, but still crave a connection and physical thing, I can see how FWB can work. | |
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| Is it wrong to want a Friend with Benefits?
Posted: 9/2/2007 5:05:05 AM | Also, there seems to be a trend of people wanting things and asking if it is wrong.
As long as it isn't a crime, and it is with a consenting adult, it the answer is generally no.
You want what you want... who gives a flip what society at large says? (Again, as long as you're not breaking the law.) | |
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| Is it wrong to want a Friend with Benefits?
Posted: 9/2/2007 6:41:57 AM |
Ah the FWB , they are difficult to maintain and every rare . The key to a set up like that is 2 strong minded and very secure people.
cowboylar you're dead on with this - I couldn't agree more.
I, personally, am a huge fan of FWB. Why?
Because I'm in Grad School, and working full time, and fixing up my house, and living life to the fullest. When I'm out of Grad School (2 years) I'll have a lot more time and energy to devote to a relationship. I'm actively looking now, but the person I meet will have to be fairly understanding. In two years I'll have more time and energy to offer a potential mate.
In the interim, I can skindance with a friend.
We both know that there is *no* way we'd ever make it as a couple, but it's very nice for what it is and we're both happy with the situation. If he finds someone right for him, that's awesome. If I find someone right for me, that's awesome. No harm, and no foul - but no more intimacy between us. That has the effect of making every time kinda special - you never know when it will end.
But you *really* have to be of a certain mindset to be able to do this. Don't lie to them, and for Pete's sake, don't lie to yourself. | |
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| Is it wrong to want a Friend with Benefits?
Posted: 9/2/2007 6:52:35 AM | | I think friends with benefits is great as you get someone for company and hanging out + the added intamacy factor BUT from past experience the women always gets attached and ruins it even tho we knew where we stood, thats not me being being funny its true from my respect.. | |
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| Is it wrong to want a Friend with Benefits?
Posted: 9/2/2007 9:22:46 AM | jeez. Not only women get attached. Men too.
I think friends with benefits is great as you get someone for company and hanging out + the added intamacy factor BUT from past experience the women always gets attached and ruins it even tho we knew where we stood, thats not me being being funny its true from my respect.. | |
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| Is it wrong to want a Friend with Benefits?
Posted: 9/2/2007 10:03:10 AM | NO!! i havent wanted a committed relationship until recently as i couldnt cope with the emotional commitment and just general shit. having fbs meant i could still have great sex without just pulling any random bloke on a sat night and risking my personal safety by going off with a stranger and also less chance of STDs as fbs can go for tests before if required. freindship heightens the sexual pleasure and also trust is a big part of it as well. i get that from my fbs!
i agree people can get hurt but its up to you to set out the rules of how things work.
**** buddies rock!!!! | |
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| Is it wrong to want a Friend with Benefits?
Posted: 9/2/2007 10:09:00 AM | I can only speak from my own personal experiences of course, but I can certainly attest to the fact that it isn't only women who get attached to their "friends with benefits". This is something that can happen to both genders and it is a risk you take on when you're willing to have such an arrangement in the first place. I believe that you both have to be emotionally stable and mature for it to work....but most importantly, you both have to be on the exact same page, or else somebody might indeed get hurt in the process.
In my own personal opinion, these arrangements rarely work well in real life as you seldom find two people who just happen to be at the exact same place in life at the exact same time, but on those race occasion that you do find such a person, these arrangements can be quite pleasant and satisfying for both parties involved.... in more ways than one! 
Love and peace...
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SK47
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Joined: 8/19/2007
Msg: 37 | |
| Is it wrong to want a Friend with Benefits?
Posted: 9/2/2007 10:10:06 AM | Its not wrong but its hard to find one without getting caught up in the emotional side. Tried n failed on several occasions now but not afraid to try again  | |
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| Is it wrong to want a Friend with Benefits?
Posted: 9/2/2007 10:38:35 AM | FWB, if done the right way, can be great. I've got a friend and cuddle-buddy that is my occasional lover. If we are both single at the same time we have no qualms about having some mind-blowing sex when the mood strikes. We both know that if one of us finds an interesting prospect to date then the sex ends, but the friendship stays strong and secure. We are more focussed on the friendship and place a much higher value on it than the orgasms, it has worked great for us for the last twenty years or so. Even if one or both of us is in a committed relationship we still make the time and effort to maintain our friendship with each other. He was the first person to see my son when we left the hospital, I've been there through the pregnancies with his exes and their children, we have supported each other through tragedies, worked together towards a common goal and have had some of the most fun and memorable moments in life side by side.
It does take two people that agree on the boundaries of the relationship and who are able to be completely open and honest with each other to avoid anger or hurt feelings. | |
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| Is it wrong to want a Friend with Benefits?
Posted: 9/2/2007 10:47:09 AM | This is a topic that I've never been able to endure. IF it isn't me wanting more, it's her. AS old school as I am, this new mainstream ideology of sex for pleasures sake cuts against my grain.
Of course, self-pleasure does have its limitations.
Ahhh, what the hell. Which one of you lovelys want to play hide the sausage?  | |
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| Is it wrong to want a Friend with Benefits?
Posted: 9/2/2007 10:48:53 AM | It's wrong to Not want a Friend with Benefits...I think more people have FWB than not in this day and age...
I bet a lot of the people that say they don't have one, actually do, but they like to describe him/her as a bf/gf....when they are clearly not.
If you don't have time for a relationship...and just want the intimacy of one....perfect fit...and I think a lot of people out there would like to have that type of a relationship, I wonder how many people that are in relationships are wondering why it seems that their bf's/gf's only want one thing out of the relationship...at least have the balls just to tell them.
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| Is it wrong to want a Friend with Benefits?
Posted: 9/2/2007 12:00:21 PM | I agree with those who agree that there is nothing wrong with FWB... as long as both of you communicate effictively and are in agreement ... it is both health and enjoyable.
Oh §püngl䧧
If I could find a situation like that again, it would be ideal for me. It's not for everyone certainly, and definitely not for someone looking for their last great love...but can be completely satisfying if that's all both parties want. Too bad you are so far away | |
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| Is it wrong to want a Friend with Benefits?
Posted: 9/2/2007 12:29:12 PM | Well this is really a no-brainer. Of course most women are going to say no...that they're looking for and/or a 1. committed relationship 2. emotional involvement 3.sharing it with someone they love 4. chemistry or connection etc. and of course most guys are going to say "Hell yeah, where can I get that?"...  ...somethings never change. | |
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| Is it wrong to want a Friend with Benefits?
Posted: 9/2/2007 12:37:05 PM | | nothing wrong with FWB if both people involved are emotionally prepared for it. if one person wants a deeper attachment and is using sex to try to manipulate that into evolving, then quite frankly, you're screwed (and not in the good way). make sure you're both on the same page, and don't forget the "friends" part of FWB...i find most people equate FWB with a booty call. sorry, not the same thing...booty calls are sex only, FWB implies respect and genuine emotional affection (without romantic love) for eachother. not an easy thing to find, and harder to maintain. | |
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| Is it wrong to want a Friend with Benefits?
Posted: 9/3/2007 11:45:51 AM | | This is such a hard question because unlitmately somone is going to get hurt in the end!! I have never had a "friend" where one or the other of us have developed deeper feelings rather than just sticking withthe original friends with benefits contract!!!! I am a huge supporter of this theory if it were possible to keep it as it started!! Usually the reason you agree to FWB is because there is something about that person that you don't find you want i a LTR but have no prob with in a STR and you keep looking in the meantime!! I don't know, I say if you are clear from the beginning about what you want and stick to the agreement GO FOR IT!!!!! | |
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| Is it wrong to want a Friend with Benefits?
Posted: 9/3/2007 11:51:32 AM |  I think that if the friendship stays way in front of the benefits then you'll only hook up on occasion. That is, IF you are true friends. Don't be weirded out and the friendship will be fine. Besides sometimes the one you are looking for is right underneath your nose and you don't realize it. | |
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| Is it wrong to want a Friend with Benefits?
Posted: 9/3/2007 11:54:24 AM | Well i think any kind of relationship is good as long as each person understand what it is.
Sometimes friends just need to feel like they are still sexy and sexual so
helping each other out i think is fine. | |
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