| characteristics of a sociopath/psychopath
Posted: 10/14/2006 12:18:14 AM | Dear Spicy 47:
I have read your story and wanted to make some brief comments:
The man you were involved with as you described it in the beginning loved you but as time passed he found someone else on the internet. Once this happened he purposely tried to create a negative environment for you in your home with him for the purpose of persuading you to make the decision to leave him so he could bring the other woman in. It's called behavior modification and in my opinion that's exactly what he was trying to do. His insulting personal comments and behavior were part of this ruse he was playing with you. He did this to break down your self-esteem and to make you feel like you were the cause when in fact it was all a big plan for you to be replaced that would take effect when you left on your own accord. He did all of this because he knew you loved him and it would be very hard for you to leave the dwelling otherwise. He was unfortunately more enfatuated with the other woman he liked more and who he wanted with him. I suspect these changes you saw in him occurred very rapidly withing the span of a week or two and suddenly then progresed more and more and more severely. If that's the case then the reason for it was because he knew that the new woman would not be waiting very long and he wanted her in the house with him and not you. I also feel that this other woman knew nothing about you or that you even existed. He said all the bad things about you to justify his case to his parents and friends so that once he drove you away they feel falsly making them have a bad impression of you and not him. You see once you're not there he still has to live with them and explain to them why you left. If they had the bad impression of you to start with before you left then his explanation of why you left would be easier and also false.
Is he a sociopath/psychopath ?. Probably not because he is more of a manipulator and womanizer.
Now I may be wrong about all of this as I am just analysing your post as it was written and can't ask you further questions. So you'll have to tell me if what I am saying makes sense to you. People do this all the time when they want somebody new. Some people will even kill to be with someone else and that's real pathological behavior. You would be horrified and amazed what some maladaptive people are capable of and have done.
Now when he was trying to tell you that you weren't beautiful ; he lied because you're a very beautiful woman and I think everyone here would agree with me on that too.
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| characteristics of a sociopath/psychopath
Posted: 10/14/2006 4:18:38 AM | I was reading the criteria and I thought "That is SO me!" Especially the stuff about Alienated Sociopaths. Great insight!
On the plus side, I'm far too lazy to be bothered to buy an axe, so I guess it works out well for everyone.
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TaraNC
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Joined: 5/11/2006
Msg: 229 | |
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xodara
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Joined: 10/7/2006
Msg: 230 | |
| characteristics of a sociopath/psychopath
Posted: 12/6/2006 9:27:02 AM | My ex, i realize now, IS a sociopath.
The most ironic part of this is that his father has his PhD in bahvioral psychology and used to run a correctional facility.
I guess the sociopath can even fool his parents! (But, he does so by keeping his distance) | |
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~*B*~
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Joined: 11/16/2006
Msg: 231 | |
| characteristics of a sociopath/psychopath
Posted: 12/6/2006 11:55:25 AM | | Youve just desribe two of my exes, one im in the process of opening a police file on and the other has two and a restraining order, and is deemed an undesirable in this country. WARNING TO ALL WOMAN: catch these signs early before the obsession sets in, its not worth the hassle that follows!! | |
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| characteristics of a sociopath/psychopath
Posted: 12/9/2006 10:15:55 AM | | That was an awsome thread I just read thru. I love reading about this kind of stuff. I have studied Criminology and Ab Psych and have read many True Crime books and when I read about this sociopath/psychopath many names came to mind. Most being serial killers that I have read about that certainly fit that criteria. Paul Bernardo being right up there! | |
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| characteristics of a sociopath/psychopath
Posted: 12/9/2006 10:16:03 AM | | That was an awsome thread I just read thru. I love reading about this kind of stuff. I have studied Criminology and Ab Psych and have read many True Crime books and when I read about this sociopath/psychopath many names came to mind. Most being serial killers that I have read about that certainly fit that criteria. Paul Bernardo being right up there! | |
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| characteristics of a sociopath/psychopath
Posted: 12/13/2006 12:24:53 AM | | well in the hare's list I have 7,8,9,10, 18, 20. looks like I am a borderline psychopath. I think everyone in the world has exhibited a certain form of those behaviors mentioned above. like Norman Bates said "We all go a little crazy sometime" I think all people in general have the potential for being pyschopathic killers. Look for example tell me upstanding citizens can all of a sudden turn in a bloodthirsty mob on black fridays or release of popular videogames turn people into maniacal killers, that's the animal part in us, we still have that blood lust gene all we need is a trigger, I am pretty sure if there was no law complete anarchy or if it was not instill in our heads that murder was wrong, there would be alot more death. | |
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xodara
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Joined: 10/7/2006
Msg: 235 | |
| characteristics of a sociopath/psychopath
Posted: 12/13/2006 1:32:00 PM |
The man you were involved with as you described it in the beginning loved you but as time passed he found someone else on the internet. Once this happened he purposely tried to create a negative environment for you in your home with him for the purpose of persuading you to make the decision to leave him so he could bring the other woman in. It's called behavior modification and in my opinion that's exactly what he was trying to do. His insulting personal comments and behavior were part of this ruse he was playing with you. He did this to break down your self-esteem and to make you feel like you were the cause when in fact it was all a big plan for you to be replaced that would take effect when you left on your own accord. He did all of this because he knew you loved him and it would be very hard for you to leave the dwelling otherwise. He was unfortunately more enfatuated with the other woman he liked more and who he wanted with him. I suspect these changes you saw in him occurred very rapidly withing the span of a week or two and suddenly then progresed more and more and more severely. If that's the case then the reason for it was because he knew that the new woman would not be waiting very long and he wanted her in the house with him and not you. I also feel that this other woman knew nothing about you or that you even existed. He said all the bad things about you to justify his case to his parents and friends so that once he drove you away they feel falsly making them have a bad impression of you and not him. You see once you're not there he still has to live with them and explain to them why you left. If they had the bad impression of you to start with before you left then his explanation of why you left would be easier and also false.
Is he a sociopath/psychopath ?. Probably not because he is more of a manipulator and womanizer.
Sociopaths/psychopaths ARE manipulators and womanizers.
I just went through virtually the same thing. These people have no consideration/regard for anyone's feelings. | |
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| characteristics of a sociopath/psychopath
Posted: 12/31/2006 7:45:44 AM | catonic - it really looks like you did not read the frist few pages of the thread, or you just don't get it. sociopaths are not "maladaptive". in fact, they are usually very good at adapting to various situations, so as to blend in with others. they know the rules of society, they just don't care. they are very good manipulaters, and are completely without conscience. the story you were commenting about above is a good example of what happens when you run into a person who is without the capacity for empathy. you sound as if the guy wasn't really doing anything wrong, and that he "just fell for someone else". this is bullshit. if you really care about someone, you don't get into a relationship with someone else in the first place, let alone treat the one you are with like shit in the process. there doesn't have to be another person in the picture for this kind of person to be abusive. that's just the true colors coming through. they are always nice at first, because they know they have to at least fake it for a while to get what they want. when they tire of the person, they just find another one, and discard the old one without a second thought.
as i have said before, ad mauseum, in this thread, this was not for people to diagnose themselves or others, but rather to give people a list of things to watch out for in a relationship. none of these qualities are good ones, and yes, most people display some of them some of the time. however, most people, the normal ones anyway, don't consistently display very many of them. if you see someone who does, you should either avoid them like the plague, or at least watch yourself around them if you can't avoid them. statistically one in ten people has this disorder to some degree, so it is frighteningly common. | |
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| characteristics of a sociopath/psychopath
Posted: 1/5/2007 1:28:08 AM | Hi, just a thought that someone who is to be considered a sociopath or psychopath might have a reason for being that way. Also from what I read so far manipulative and very nice and very intellegent people have a slight tendency to be a sociopath or psychopath? My ex is a psychopath to say the least so I do agree to a point, but if some normal guy is very nice and intellegent does that make him a psychopath or a sociopath? Just another thought mabye sociopaths and psychopaths have been screwed over agian and agian until they snap, or could it be a brian disorder, or could they do what they do just for no reason? In my opinion human nature can be very gruesome or very delightful, depending on the person, there surroundings, the circumstances they have been through with either the dark side added to that or the light side added. Human nature is the same as Nature in my opinion, it sucks to have such cruel acts in the world but to some people having a good thing happen to them may seem like a cruel act because of human nature and people can be very cruel.
Anyways I mean no offense to anyone, I just see violent crimes happining every time eye close my eyes does this make me a psychopath? Sociopath? Or does this make more in tune with the cruel side of human nature? | |
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| characteristics of a sociopath/psychopath
Posted: 1/7/2007 1:45:24 AM | 'Characteristics of a socio-psychopath?
...Just take a good look at profiles of King Bush and the entire US Congress ...You know, the ones that have just murdered over 650,000 Iraqis. | |
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| characteristics of a sociopath/psychopath
Posted: 1/12/2007 12:29:02 PM | | wow! you have just described the man that i was in love with for six years. thank god that i realised what he was before i married him. much happier now. | |
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| characteristics of a sociopath/psychopath
Posted: 1/15/2007 11:31:24 PM | Hi Sid
Let me first say I read all ten pages of posts before commenting in this thread. An excellent thread indeed.
About the difficulty of diagnosing the patient. A few things. I have seen that people generally 'see' what they expect to see.
This is one reason for the unreliability of eyewitness testimony.
I am pretty bright. Luckily very bright as a matter of fact.
The same would be true in me appearing in front of a clinical psychologist. For the most part I would be able to figure out a response that makes me more innocuous than I really am. He would see a fairly normal person, not the green radioactive slime drooling psychopath that I really am supposed to be according to my wife.
But that is not the point of my comments. To make it really brief. When we meet a person of the opposite sex that is charming and attentive at the beginning, we tend to assign to them other qualities of goodness. Without ever testing to see if they really exist. Later on in the relationship, there is tension because reality does not fit the first rosy assumptions.
Even bright people can be fooled. I was. Being both bright and smitten, I could find ways to excuse the oddest of behaviors and actions for a long time. But when I read your lists and applied my insiders knowledge she exhibits enough of the traits to fit sociopath if not psychopath, the most disturbing of which is her utter lack of empathy, and her selfishness. Of course she is also bright enough to pass a psycho test too. My IQ is over 145 and I think she is brighter than me. Standardized tests work less well on people at the outer edges of the population?
So the divorce is going to be difficult because she spent 2 years separating me and alienating me from any support among the people we knew. And she is trying to get all the assets as well. And on and on ad nauseum.
And no I cannot think of one single argument that would change her. She is not treatable.
Yup. Many sociopaths are men, but there are females too and it irritates me just a bit to be the sex that is always the one mentioned. "he"
Statistically one in four is female, and if you look at some of the reasons for being 'tested' in the first place - mostly because of some sort of criminal complaints, and few men complain over physical assault by wives, I didn't - so the stats are shifted in population representation.
Just a whine. Men don't cry.
"they are very good manipulators, and are completely without conscience. "
Bravo to the thread | |
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ebgdae
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Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 243 | |
| characteristics of a sociopath/psychopath
Posted: 1/16/2007 4:35:15 AM | I've only read the first few pages. I only needed to read the first post.
It described my son exactly.
In childhood, it's described as Oppositional Defiance Disorder. It affects roughly 5% of the population. Many who deal with this disorder say it's one of the few that affects both genders equally.
We had 2 children. One, terrific, the other, we knew something was different. He never got through the terrible 2's. Sufferers of this condition never do.
No matter how many health proffessionals I took him to, the end result was the same. They always ended up interviewing me to see if I was alright,,lol.
They have a savant like ability to scan people for strenghts and weaknesses and then to exploit them. They're superb conmen and women, the very best!
Lives around these people aren't normal. The whole household is dysfunctional.
It can develops into Conduct Disorder, as it did with my son.
There is hope. In a lot of cases it wears off in later life. They can have a fairly normal life if they're self employed. In fact they make great self employed people,,,,,and ,,,,they keep off the booze and drugs. | |
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LBP
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Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 244 | |
| characteristics of a sociopath/psychopath
Posted: 1/19/2007 4:19:12 PM | I've read a lot of these posts (not all) and first I just wanted to say doctors themselves can misdiagnose this stuff so if you see the signs, its best to get a 2nd opinion.
I like some of the points made about maladaptive behaviors. I grew up with a hyperactive thyroid disorder and it gave me the symptoms very similar to a child with ADHD. Because of this, I also developed a lot of maladaptive behaviors into my adulthood that usually revolve around my environment.
All I can say is, thank god I had a good head on my shoulders and ignored most of the adults who were messing me up. Society treats children with maladaptive behaviors very badly quite often. It causes further problems like depression, anxiety, and even aggression in some kids.
Besides still struggling with organization, I'm fairly well adjusted. I've spent so much time working on me because society said I was bad that when I finally slowed down, I realized that half these people were far more faulted than I was. My faults were just more apparent.
I did date someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder for 2 years. There is no mistaking that kind of behavior for just maladaptive behaviors. It took another 2 years to recover from the psychological and emotional abuse I was put through. These people can confuse you so bad that in the end, you have no trust or faith in yourself. They suck you dry and leave you a shell of the person you once were.
They give new meaning to the term selfish. Its all about them. They don't care if you are hit by a truck provided their needs are met. A typically bright narcissist knows this about themselves though and are great at mimicking sincerity.
My ex was so different behind closed doors that I feared getting into a relationship for a long time. There weren't signs there as I had expected them to be until after we had started the relationship. Then came the very plausible excuses for the behavior. Everyone loses their temper occasionally or gets depressed. When you love someone, you want to give them the benefit of the doubt. It took awhile to realize though that he was always somewhat like that and the reasons he provided were just excuses. The great guy that I knew and loved prior to us getting involved was actually an act it took years to hone. | |
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| characteristics of a sociopath/psychopath
Posted: 1/25/2007 8:15:07 PM | Four books that help you understand these topics.
Books one and two are about Sociopaths/Psychopaths: These folks cannot change.
Books three and four are about Narcissists: These can be changed only they want to.
1) The Sociopath Next Door by Martha Stout
2) Without Conscience: The Disturbing World of the Psychopaths Among Us
by Robert D. Hare
3) Why Is It Always About You? : Saving Yourself from the Narcissists in Your Life
by Sandy Hotchkiss
4) Emotional Vampires: Dealing With People Who Drain You Dry
by Albert J. Bernstein | |
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1Kam
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Joined: 1/15/2007
Msg: 246 | |
| characteristics of a sociopath/psychopath
Posted: 1/28/2007 5:26:13 PM | This thread is too much.
I think I just self diagnosed myself as a sociopath, which doesn't make sense to me because people say I'm very nice, caring, and stupid shit like that when they get to know me, on the other hand when they don't know me I'm a self-important ***hole. Those same people also claim I am very rude when I drink, and I find the most distasteful things funny.
I don't know anymore. I'm not a schitzo, I'm a little paranoid, I am an ***hole most of the times, I do know how to and I do willingly lie (I'm a telemarketer), I don't discriminate much when it comes to sex, I do sleep around, and I do do drugs.
*Takes a deep breath*
I'm very picky about who I'm friends with, I hate mooches, cons, and liars, and I get along with woman a lot better than I get along with men. I don't talk much unless I know what I'm talking about, than I don't know how to shut up. I do complain a lot, but my life isn't the greatest. I do value life, and I do value objects. I'm very competitive, but I'm also very lazy.
And I do get bored or discouraged easily. On top of that I have no turst or belief in law enforcement or our political system, and I do think it's doing more hard than good. I finely believe that the police serve and protect the community, but not an individual.
I don't commit crimes, I interest myself in them, and I tend to go bi-polar if I get too involved in something like a video game.
And I did that chart thingie on scoring yourself as a psychopath, where it's 1-40, 30 or more and you're crazy, an average inmate scores 22, while average person scores 5, I scored 15 (though it's probably more or less 10 as I overestimated somethings).
Now pardon me while I  | |
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| characteristics of a sociopath/psychopath
Posted: 2/3/2007 3:32:07 AM | There is a practical book about psychopaths out now. About how to deal with the office psychopath. 3 in 100 business managers are psychopaths. Australian.
The book may be called The Office Psychopath.
Psychopaths appear to be high achievers and are selected as business managers. But there personalities are harsh and they have a high staff turnover rate.
They can demonstrate the full range of emotions. They are deluded thinking everyone else has the problem and not them.
They have no conscience, show no remorse.
When they are fired they use their knowledge of a business in the rival's business to destroy the old one.
It is a real psychological illness. Nero, Hitler, Hussien are a few.
I met a psychopath at church. I am still bruised in my heart from the experience.
Never allow yourself to be bound to have contact with such a person, even once a week. The wit, grumbling, secret motives, hate, jealousy and sheer force of personality is painfully destructive. | |
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Dug01
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Joined: 1/3/2007
Msg: 249 | |
| characteristics of a sociopath/psychopath
Posted: 2/6/2007 8:57:29 PM | I have to agree with the few that stated it's very difficult to diagnose a sociopath/psychopath for both the experts and the... well non-experts.
Bottom line most people aren't honest in diagnosing themselves, how could they honestly diagnose someone else? Sorry I really don't intend to offend any, but what I read from the fact givers was mostly... well witch hunting imo. I thought some of the so called trolls provided valuable input and accuracy in regards of what it might be like to be inside the mind of a s/p. Thank you so-called trolls for that. The verbiage with some of those who exhibited clinical experience deprived the thread of much needed insight imo.
If you feel uncomfortable or that someone is trying to control, demean you... leave when able to do so. Leave the diagnosis to the professionals, you really could be wrong and that really could cause someone a lot of grief. Not to mention a libel case with you as the defendant.
Dug | |
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| characteristics of a sociopath/psychopath
Posted: 2/10/2007 5:42:29 PM | Posted By: HuggABLEHOTTIE on 10/12/2006 8:04:01 PM
Were they raised to be this way?
Were they raised to be narsicisstic?
I know someone who has almost every trait you mentioned!!!
HH - the root causes are a source of debate in the mental health community. Some say it's nature, some nurture, some both.
It's entirely possible, from what I've read from experts in the field such as Robert Hare, for someone with a totally normal childhood and loving parents to be a psychopath (i.e. "all nature"). They're just born with no conscience and no ability to feel empathy for others.
Imaging trying to explain the color orange to a blind man.
This view is often derided, particularly in America, because most want to believe that all people are fundamentally good. If they're bad, there must be a reason. They must have witnessed some trauma or were abused or something, right? And if you can find the reason, certainly you can remedy it, right? | |
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