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| Brazilian Wax- question to the ladies
Posted: 9/17/2007 7:28:36 PM | All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of easy, painless removal…The epilady, scissors, razors, Nair, and now …. The wax.
My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner, play with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours:
Maybe I should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet. So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom. It was one of those “cold wax” kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel them apart and press them to your leg ( or wherever else ) and you pull the hair right off. No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I’m no genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out . (YA THINK !?!) So I pull one of the thin strips out. It’s two strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I get out the hairdryer and heat it up to 1000 degrees. (“cold wax” yeah….right!) I lay the strip across my thigh, hold the skin around it tight and pull. It works! OK. So it wasn’t the best feeling, but it wasn’t too bad. I can do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire!
With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids, I sneak back into the bathroom for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure, I apply the one strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering the right half of my *hoo-hoo* and stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek (Yes it was a along strip) I inhale deeply and brace myself…….RRRIIIPPP!!!! I’m blind!!!! Blinded from pain!!!!…..OH MY GOD!!!!!!!! Vision returning, I notice that I’ve only managed to pull off half of the strip. CRAP!! Another deep breath and RRIIPP!! Everything is swirly and spotted. I think I may pass out…must stay conscious….Do I hear crashing drums??? Breathe, breathe….OK, back to normal.
I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has caused me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip! There’s no hair on it. Where’s the hair??? WHERE IS THE WAX??? Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair. The hair that should be on the strip. I touch. I am touching wax. Crap!! I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then I make the next BIG mistake…..remember my foot is still propped up on the toilet! I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down. DANG!!!!!! I hear the slamming of a cell door……*Hoo-Hoo*??? Sealed shut!!! Butt??? Sealed shut!! I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself “ Please don’t let me get the urge to poop … My head may pop off!” What can I do to melt the wax? Hot water! Hot water melts wax!! I’ll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off??? WRONG!!!!!!
I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or to sterilize surgical equipment - I sit. Now the only thing worse that having your nether regions glued together is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub … in scalding hot water. Which , by the way , doesn’t melt cold wax. So , now I’m stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cement-epoxied myself to the porcelain!! God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!! I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone…It’s a very good conversation starter - “So my butt and hoo-hoo are glued together and suck to the bottom of the tub!” There is a slight pause. She doesn’t know any secret tricks for removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located , “Are we talking cheeks or hoo-hoo?” She’s laughing out loud by now … I can hear her. I gave her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box YEAH!!!! RIGHT!!!! I should be the joke of someone else’s night.
We go through various solutions. I resort to scraping the wax off with a razor. Nothing feels better than to have your girlie goodies covered in hot was , glued shut , stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off !!!!
By now the brain is not working , dignity has taken a major hike and I’m pretty sure I’m going to need Post-Traumatic stress counseling after this event. My friend is still talking to me when I finally see my saving grace … the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. What do I really have to lose at this point? I rub some on and OH MY GOD!!!!! The scream probably woke the kids and scared the****ns out of my friend. It’s sooo painful , but I really don’t care. IT WORKS!!!! It works!! I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up. I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then to my grief and despair … THE HAIR IS STILL THERE ……ALL OF IT!!!!
So I recklessly shave it off. Heck , I’m numb by now. Nothing hurts. I could have amputated my own leg at this point. Next week I’m going to try hair color …. Now that’s funny. NOTTTTTT!!!
This was a story a friend sent to me....laughed until I cried  | |
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| Brazilian Wax- question to the ladies
Posted: 9/18/2007 5:52:15 PM | Probably hardest thing in life for me was puberty, having my body change from a child to adult.
I got embarrassed, sad and confused and attacked puberty with razor especially under my arms, every one growth I slashed them to death with that sharp razor . But then I accepted the fact, adult hood covers certain areas.
I think I prefer to keep away from Brazilian and stay an adult no need to fool myself.
I actually think a woman kind of look nicer with trimmed rather than all off there....it kind of gives me an uneasy feeling about why people do it.
But under arms and legs and facial are all a must for me and laser would be the best way about it.
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| Brazilian Wax- question to the ladies
Posted: 9/18/2007 6:19:04 PM | GameFree - that is the funniest thing I have read in a long time.....already called and read it to 2 friends with tears of laughter.......thanks for great laugh and now I know I won't be doing any brazilian wax jobs anytime soon....
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| Brazilian Wax- question to the ladies
Posted: 9/23/2007 5:00:06 AM | I had my first brazilian (waxing) last weekend. I only went in to get my nails done. Then decided to have my eyebrows threaded, and while I was there asked her about bikini waxing and she was like, you can have it done now if you want.
So I went for it!
Do you know what? It wasn't as painful as I was expecting. But I think I got lucky and she was particularly adept at doing it without causing too much pain.
I'm not saying it was a walk in the park, it still hurt, just not as much as I anticipated.
I love it now, and will go back every month from now on, it grows back so much quicker and doesn't hurt growing back like shaving.
I would say the day after should be back to normal for having sex...
Good luck, let us know how you get on! | |
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| Brazilian Wax- question to the ladies
Posted: 9/23/2007 9:04:07 AM | | OMG. I would rather have another child without anesthesia. I definitely was not prepared for that amount of pain. It took 3 days before I could even wear panties again, it hurt so much. Believe me, have dresses available for a couple of days. I shave it all off now, but never wax, not even a little. | |
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| Brazilian Wax- question to the ladies
Posted: 11/13/2007 10:54:49 PM | | Gamefree~ That is hysterical! My friend (male) has a similar story... he actually still had the wax on the boys and sat down on the toilet lid... lol needless to say they stuck! LMFAO! I had visions of him in my head doing this when I read your post!! | |
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| Brazilian Wax- question to the ladies
Posted: 11/14/2007 8:55:46 AM | | Sex is best when both parties are hairless, so if the woman does it, the guy should have to make the ultimate sacrifice too. | |
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| Brazilian Wax- question to the ladies
Posted: 11/14/2007 9:05:06 AM | Personally, I like the Landing Strip myself.
However, bare isn't bad. But if you're going to do it, have your partner do the landscaping down there. It's more fun that way. | |
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| Brazilian Wax- question to the ladies
Posted: 11/14/2007 9:53:10 AM | Personally, I like the Landing Strip myself.
A Mohawk? They sure do look cute on women, but the reason for bald is that it increases skin contact. | |
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| Brazilian Wax- question to the ladies
Posted: 11/14/2007 11:49:16 AM | | gamefree, lmao at your post, and my friend was doing the same, i was practically in tears!! going through some heartache so the pick-me-up was much appreciated!! | |
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| Brazilian Wax- question to the ladies
Posted: 11/14/2007 9:18:35 PM | | Okay everyone is talking about how much it is going to hurt but I can't get over the idea of having the nail shop lady messing with my nether region! Maybe I am too modest but I couldn't look at her quite the same again. Hell I don't like her all in my face when she does my eyebrows. Well anyway...I use Veet. It burns like hell at first but it lasts long enough and I can do it myself. | |
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