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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 10/25/2007 11:34:58 AM |
Funny story here.......my ex was complaining to me that he was on a personals site but all he kept meeting were fat women who said they were average build. So I asked him how he described himself and he said, "Average" and I burst out laughing. He was 5 foot 8 and weighed 260 pounds! But he went to the gym three times a week so in his mind, he saw himself as strong not fat................ 
Now that is too funny, friendlylady..... Although, to call a spade a spade, in my limited experience it seems like men don't see themselves as overweight, just the women they are looking to date! lol My ex was the same way, he would tell me how fat I was, maybe being about 20 lbs overweight, but he was a good 70 lbs overweight, go figure.
So keeping OT, I guess money is important if we are to join the health clubs and get in shape so we can all be golddiggers!  | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 10/25/2007 12:12:01 PM | You are correct, agelesswonder. I have met men that were 70, 80, 100 pounds overweight, and looked like they were about to give birth any second, but considered themselves "average" in build.
My theory on that is that because so many people in America are obese, that obese is the "new average." At least for men. For women, it's a different story. I've met men who say that they can't handle a woman who wears larger than a size 4....she has to weigh 98 pounds, be rail-thin, and have a 32DDDD chest.
Go figure. | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 10/25/2007 12:29:25 PM | And what about all the pics with snow on the roof...on what's left of the roof anyway.... then you read their profile and their hair is 'Black, brown or blonde' ???
It's the Magic Mirror striking again!
Damn I've got to get one of those.... | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 10/25/2007 12:50:50 PM | Ageless Wonder, I love it.........I'm running out to the health center now so I, too, can be a gold digger..........
Chocolate, I loved the 98 pounds, rail thin, and 32 DDDD chest. Do you think the expectations may be a little tad bit unrealistic?
And I swear that is a completely true story about my ex.........I still kid him about the big muscle in his stomach that looks like he's 9 months pregnant..............He finally ended up marrying a woman who was about 30 pounds overweight........after four years of looking for the one you describe, Chocolate! | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 10/25/2007 12:56:34 PM | Darn, I hit the button too quick........to keep it on topic, I wanted to add that he has money and he ended up marrying and now he complains that they have separate bedrooms? Another gold digger, I guess? Jeesh, I never got anything from him.
I will have to smarten up, I guess........... | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 10/25/2007 1:54:05 PM | | I think money is very important in a relationship. You may have alot or a little. The most important part of money is how you manage it. | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 10/25/2007 2:14:09 PM | friendlyldy I wonder if we were married to the same man...
My ex is married to a golddigger, or so I thought.. She seemed to hook right up with him before we got divorced as soon as he inherited 1/2 million from the death of his father. Of course that wasn't included in the divorce settlement as it was an inheritance.. So if I was after a man for their money, I would still be married!! Money isn't everything, but it does pay the rent, lights, phone and cable!! | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 10/25/2007 2:41:10 PM | I don't care what's in a guy's bank account. I'm in a hard-saving mode so I can retire, so I actually don't appreciate spendthrifts. OTOH, it is a red flag if someone gets to be our age and has no financial plan whatsoever, is deep in debt with no viable plan to get out of it except to win the lottery, spends money he cannot afford on things like cable, fast food, and vacations. I'm old-fashioned enough to appreciate it if someone takes me out and pays for things, but 'takes me out' can be just coffee or the $4 movie house every so often. Pick me a flower. Tell me I look nice. Hold my hand and we can take a walk. Having a constant sob story and borrowing money from me that you can't afford to pay back are also big no-nos. I think there are as many players out there looking to get money from women as vice versa.
Sweetie | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 10/25/2007 7:22:05 PM | Money is not important to successful women. Unfortunately, there are women who don't want to work hard for a living; they want a man to take care of them.
It just seems like most men want those type of women who want to use a man. Those of us who can contribute and are intelligent seem to get the cold shoulder. I may be mistaken;but, it seems that way. | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 10/26/2007 10:43:02 AM |
Those of us who can contribute and are intelligent seem to get the cold shoulder.
Because ..................... many men don't like a woman to be independent (as much as they say they do). Those men consider independent and shrewish to be interchangeable. If you read the threads on here about strong women, you will readily see what I mean. As for why they pick gold diggers, you must remember the Golden Rule - he who has the gold rules. After reading some of the posts here, I guess we successful and financially independent women should just resign ourselves to the fact that we have to take a stroll down to skid row and pick us out a down and outer. It's totally unrealistic for anyone to say that money isn't important. My opinion is that a LOT of money isn't important, but having the means to support YOURSELF is. | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 10/26/2007 10:31:59 PM | I like this post OP. I really have an interest in this one. I was swept up by a man who had money. It was sneaky the way he did it because I have never been interested in money. I always applauded myself on being thrifty. He saw this so hid his intention. He placed me in his fancy house and of course it didn't work out. he didn't understand why I didn't appreciate the surroundings while I said I can't believe you expected me to settle for "the stuff".
This guy has a heart though. His house continues to be a meeting place for me and my grown kids. He and I just didn't work out as a couple.
Dang, I should ask him if I can have my entire family over there for holidays.
J. | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 10/26/2007 10:49:33 PM | A prerequisite that comes with age? Probably.
But, I think you have been meeting up with the wrong women. If your putting that attitude across then it's hard for a woman to see past your cynical side. It would turn me off.
Have you thought that perhaps, we have our own money. Probably worked 40% harder to earn it due to the pay gap throughout the years. Now that we are approaching our later years, be it 40, 50 or 60, we need to be sure that our money is going to last. We can't afford/nor want to hook up with someone who is living cheque to cheque. We would prefer to connect with someone in the same range we are. It's called survival.
As a woman who is staying put, I'm not interested in hooking up with money. I have that. HOWEVER, the cost of dining and hotel rooms can become expensive if it's being paid for out of the savings account. So, will spending time with me be cheap? No. Definitely not. But I am upfront about that. I expect the clean cotton sheets of a hotel room, dinner before or after... flowers or chocolates on occasion. I wouldn't say no to an odd weekender... | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 10/27/2007 3:48:49 AM | I believe my 21 year marriage was a victim of Mother Nature. I do believe a man's inate drive and goal is to past on his genes. He is always "looking" viable child bearer. Women I think change the type of mate they are looking for according to their ability to have offspring. Here's how it came to play in my life.
I know for a fact that my now ew wife was drawn to me at first because of pure physical attraction. The "animal" in her saw me a strong provider with a good gene contribution to her offspring's adaptability and survival chances. So we married and had children
I had back problems about two years ago and was unable to make near as much money as I had in the past. Our finances became tenative at best. At the same time my ex went through menopause saying goodbye to her possible child bearing potential. Fter about a year of stressful finacial worries and fighting to keep our house, my wife took the kids and suddenly up and left. I couldn't hardly believe it.
What I believe happened is that menopause and loss fertility cause her to rehash her position in life and as a result, what type of mate she desired. Her "taste" in men changed from viral physical attraction to the need for financial security. In proof of this profound change she was married in less than a year after our divorce was finalized to an old looking small man who had a house and a bank account.
So to answer the big question, I think middle aged or older women are attracted by money even if they do not realize it. Security outweighs a sizzleing sex life. Women who say compatibility to be the driving source, as I've read here, tend to be long-time independants as far as their fear for their loss of income is concerned. | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 10/27/2007 7:29:23 AM | I believe there are many different types of people looking for various traits in another. For some money is object they see as security or perhaps something to enhance what they may not already have. It's well known that you can have all the money in the world and have no happiness, you can have all the luxuries in life around you along with someone you don't even speak to....or you can have nothing and have someone beside you who can make you smile.
Which would you prefer? | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 10/27/2007 7:57:48 AM | Women seek security in a relationship. "Will he be a good provider" And ladies please separate your last 20 years of experience with Women's Lib from the reality of all human history. Yes - times are changing - but instincts still govern.
It is OK for women to seek men with assets - seek men with the ability to provide as has been done for millions of years of human existence. But it is not OK to say otherwise and still reject men who have few assets. Be honest about it.
In search of a good mate, I have been on the receiving end of endless encounters with women over the passed twenty years and I KNOW WHAT THEY SAY. I know what always comes up in conversation one way or another. And that subject in one way or another leads to getting a man to reveal his assets or lack thereof.
The female pursuit of men having money has become rampant and blatant in the past ten years. I find it laughable to read in a woman's profile 'seeking a soul mate'. Yes - she wants a soul mate as long as he can fix her broken (or non existent) 401k plan.
Please ladies - don't attempt to tell me what women seek. For years I have dated and am still trying to date WOMEN and I know what they say. Do you ladies date women and hear what they say? Or do you just hear what women say in a gaggle of female conversation? What is said in these different venues is drastically different.
JoeBob | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 10/27/2007 8:19:38 AM | money is always an issue with women. Young or old. They say it isn't, but actions speak louder than words. If a womanmeets two men, one is executive vice president of Sears and the other is a grounds keeper, we know where she is going, don't we. So it is not an age thing, all women want to be with someone who can provide "things" and "stuff". Noone wants a loser!!.........JMO | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 10/27/2007 8:38:25 AM | YOU CAN SPOIL ME IF YOU WANT..I HAVE NEVER BEEN SPOILED..EVERYTHING I OWN I HAVE GOTTEN IT MYSELF.......NEVER DEPENDED ON A MAN..NEVER COULD AND THAT IS OK.....I MADE IT......I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE TO HAVE A MAN SAY HONEY, " I WANT TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR NEEDS"...I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN THE GIVER..
I CAN'T SAY IT WOULDN'T BE NICE TO BE TREATED LIKE A QUEEN......YOU KNOW I NEED FOR NOTHING..I AM BLESSED....I GUESS BECAUSE I HAVE NEVER BEEN HIGH MAINTANCE..
I HAVE MET MANY MEN ON THIS WEB SITE AND OTHERS AND YOU KNOW I DID GET 6 DOZEN RED ROSES SENT TO ME ONE TIME,BUT ALAS, HE TURNED OUT TO BE A SCAMMER...COME TO THINK OF IT EVERY MAN I HAVE MET HAS WANTED SOMETHING FROM ME......EVEN IF IT IS JUST TO USE MY .35 TO CALL THEM, CAUSE THEY ARE ALL USING CALLING CARDS......
SO PLEASE DON'T LABEL ALL WOMEN AS THE SAME...THANKS
JODI | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 10/27/2007 8:41:41 AM | ALL women want to be with someone who can provide "things" and "stuff" No one wants a loser.
not ALL..............some, yes but not all........
The last guy I was with made $35,000. Compared to my previous mate who made $80,000 to $100,000............. plus real nice bennies......... | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 10/27/2007 5:50:03 PM | Money is not the first thing on my mind when I talk to someone or meet them for the 1st time.
I look for someone who is honest and a man who has values/morals. I am comfortable with myself, money and what I am doing.
I always figured that if you grom to care and love someone what does the income level matter.
The both of you should work together, isnt that what its all about. Onthe other hand I would have no problem not working or just working part-time.
To me having a job does not define who I am. I am secure with myself. I have had money, and lost it. I am still me the same lady who is passionate, compassionate and honest.
Personally I think Shrek is a HOTTIE.............. | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 10/27/2007 7:08:36 PM | | I just never had a problem in either of my relationships over money. In the first, I supported him for about a year because he was struggling. When he started to make a lot of money, I never took advantage of it and he never had a problem with it. In the second, there was less money but he was very generous and had no problem trusting me ........ I just am not the type of person to abuse trust like that. In addition, I had worked for 25 years and had a small independant income ........ It's just never been an issue in my relationships. | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 10/27/2007 7:19:32 PM | Certainly there's women looking for guys with money, (and vice versa) we should all be wise enough by now to be able to spot them.
Its been my personal experience that when a woman gets around to inquiring about these things, she's not after money - she just wants to know that I'm able to keep up my end of the bargain and she won't have to be the one buying the Jameson's. Unless you are willing to support your partner financially in life, there's nothing wrong with looking for an S/O on the same page in that area.
I think a lot of times someone wanting reassurance they aren't going to be going broke supporting your a$$, gets mistaken for golddigging. | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 10/27/2007 8:33:27 PM | Amen topjack,
I think that is what I was saying without typing all the words. I had been with guys who took me for every penny that I didn't have.
Met a guy who was doing well for himself and he thought he'd move me in as a built-in-maid. We had NO relationship. He would go out with his buddy's from work, and be sure to tell me about it. I'd complain that I'm not getting the same. He made excuses.
Once in a while I could talk him into breakfast at a restaurant (as a date) He was willing but held a newspaper up in front of his face during the breakfast. He had put up a wall....
You would think I'm physically disgusting by the way he treated me, but I'm not. I'm pretty and thin, and he's 275 LB, and looks 20 years my senior. | |
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