| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 10/28/2007 2:51:16 AM |
I must say...revisiting this forum has been most educational for me.
Now, I know who are ... stingey,...
Describe a guy you would call "stingy". What makes a guy stingy in your view? | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 10/28/2007 6:59:08 AM | pjack, so well put!
As for stingy, I think either sex can be stingy so I will keep this open. I can only explain things by examples usually (I don't bring my ex or Wayne up to bug others but because I like to keep my interpetations based on real experiences not just thoughts in my head)
My ex was stingy. I had supported him for a year. When things finally got better and we were going to get married, I wanted a small ring with two hearts entwined and two diamond chips............I think it cost about $60......as an engagement ring. And he didn' t want to buy it for me? I wasn't after the money. I loved the symbolism of the ring! Almost didn't get married when he pulled that one! But he did get better after that when I pointed out how much I had been paying to help him! And he did make up for it on our third anniversary! (Just one example of why it's important to be patient with men, too. Sometimes they do stupid things and it takes them years to say they are sorry!  )
Wayne on the other hand made a 1/3 of what the ex made and he was generous. As long as the bills were paid and a certain amount was in savings, he would help anyone out with the excess or tell me I could use it (which I never did because I had my own income and used that for what I wanted) After years of me not using his money, when my car blew it's engine, he bought me a car! I was in shock.
Stingy to me is when you have enough to meet your bills and savings and yet you still would never give to others and feel good about it............ Stingy people never see themselves as better off and they never feel good about helping others out. JMO | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 11/18/2007 5:53:01 PM | | I was wondering if this thread will continue advancing, or will it be gone tomorrow, all that is past past, what is to come does not come. Sometimes thoughts have a finite limit, and other times expand to fill the ether, new combinations and permutations rife with potential. Is money the root of all evil, as some would have it, or is it the proper reward for those who have contributed above the ordinary? | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 11/18/2007 6:25:51 PM | "Is money the root of all evil, as some would have it, or is it the proper reward for those who have contributed above the ordinary? "
My answer is either depending on who is involved with the money. | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 11/18/2007 7:32:58 PM | | it isn't only women that think this way any longer. I've met many men that won't date a woman unless she has a job, or unless she has her own house. The last guy I dated for two years, recently left me after meeting a woman that made another 100,000.00 a year more than me. She also owned a big house. It works both ways. | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 11/18/2007 8:08:16 PM |
"Is money the root of all evil, as some would have it, or is it the proper reward for those who have contributed above the ordinary? "
I always thought it was the "love" of money that was the root of all evil.. Some people think of money above everything and everyone else. JMO
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 11/19/2007 11:54:40 AM | Stingy is when you spend 99% of your time at your lady's home, which means that your utility bills are lower and hers are higher, and when she asks you for $20.00 "just because", you freak out, call her a "golddigger", and move out, taking the roll of $1.00 toilet paper that you bought, and little slivers of the $1.00 soap that you bought.
This is a true story, folks! | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 11/19/2007 1:39:49 PM | It never ceases to amaze me the men in my age group that are overly concerned about WOMEN only seeking to get into their pockets. Should not women also be concerned about MEN doing the same?
Gold diggers can be either gender, their easily red flagged, but not what I believe is the real problem. Indifference regarding the topic or inquiry as to ones past or present occupation, retirement, etc. is a problem with those that are overly sensitive.
When we were younger, most YOUNG couples, with some exceptions, began their lives together with very little financial security or net worth; but we were basically on the same page. Now that we are not YOUNG, and not just starting out, is it really too much to ask that we at least be close to the same page?
A few times, not often, have experienced personally just how indifferent some men can be about their money. For those men, …I’ve made a deal with them…I’ll stay out of your pockets and you stay out of mine. | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 11/19/2007 5:44:07 PM | | My profile states I am looking for a man who is "'financially secure." That does NOT mean I want a wealthy man. It Does mean he is employed with a decent middle-class income, is not awash in debt, is not "just scraping by," & does not expect me to support him (been there, done that, won't go there again.) And yes, he has made put money away for retirement. Love doesn't pay the rent. | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 11/19/2007 7:03:06 PM |
A few times, not often, have experienced personally just how indifferent some men can be about their money. For those men, …I’ve made a deal with them…I’ll stay out of your pockets and you stay out of mine.
It seems to depends on where you are in the relationship...how "indifferent" men/women are about money. There's a lot of difference during the honeymoon phase and breakup phase.
The idea of a joint account to pay for joint expenses, food, utilities, etc., works good, but I think it's better to keep your individual resources separate. People have very different ideas about how to manage money, and it can cause a lot of problems, if you mingle the finances too much. At least, that's been my experience. | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 11/19/2007 8:10:22 PM | "The idea of a joint account to pay for joint expenses, food, utilities, etc., works good, but I think it's better to keep your individual resources separate."
If you have a long term relationship but maintain different homes, then you have no worries | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 11/19/2007 8:33:02 PM |
If you have a long term relationship but maintain different homes, then you have no worries
I can't argue with that statement (as far as finances and practicality are concerned). I think there are other issues people have with that type of arrangement. But, to each his own....different strokes...etc. .... | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 11/19/2007 8:58:34 PM |
My profile states I am looking for a man who is "'financially secure." That does NOT mean I want a wealthy man. It Does mean he is employed with a decent middle-class income, is not awash in debt, is not "just scraping by," & does not expect me to support him (been there, done that, won't go there again.) And yes, he has made put money away for retirement. Love doesn't pay the rent.
While I agree with you on this, most but not all of men after a divorce are fighting just too keep their heads above water. Now the booring part, in my case I had to pay $800 a month in spousal support for a year and $250 a month for the next 5. That first year pretty much destroyed my financial future. But I am slowly climbing back. Not complaining just showing what a man sometimes has to go through, so sometimes just scraping by is doing pretty good. | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 11/19/2007 9:28:05 PM | | I learned the hard way years ago to avoid men dating who are newly divorced, especially if the divorce has been nasty. The man was so drained emotionally from dealing with his Ex, legal battles, & financial problems that he had nothing left to give to a woman... | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 11/19/2007 9:46:04 PM | | Gingersnap, your comment makes it sound like a man after divorce is worthless. My divorce was not nasty by any means, (well the Magistrate was an Idiot). I was trying to show how it can go for really anyone, it could in some circumstances be a woman on the wrong end of the deal. I just used my case as an example because I don't know how anyone else's divorce played out. | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 11/19/2007 10:06:34 PM | | No matter whether it is a man or a women to begin with after the divorce the financial stuff has caused such stress that trying to be with them is extremely difficult without getting fallout generally. Money at times ='s stress, especially when the person is paying out when they don't want to. | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 11/20/2007 6:11:45 AM | Still have 3 years too go. So yes I did and do have to pay Spousal support. It would make more sense if kids were involved, or she could not support herself. But this is Ohio after all.
Disclaimer: Before someone tries to make me into a Male monster, I have no problem with paying support if Children are involved or if the woman has a condition that precludes working. | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 11/20/2007 6:22:02 AM | Gingersnaps: .....and for some it remains with them forever.......punctuated by doses of bitterness and nasty attacks on women......honestly, if you feel that way then you should put women on the back of your mind......enjoys your toys and your male bonding.......women need men who can show them some romance and respect.....If you are bot able to do that..........just stay away from the beautiful fishes and go.....um......suck a lemon......
My opinion is that most men who complain about gold-digging women are the darned cheapskates who are looking to use women and are angry that women nowadays are not making it easy for them............just my $0.01 worth......I can talk on the forum too....right? | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 11/20/2007 6:53:51 AM | I understand where you're coming from gingersnaps, and you, too, darkchocolat23! I understand that men have to pay child support, too (but so do a lot of women these days -- been there!)
As far as them having to pay spousal support, very few (if any) women of color who are not married to "stars" ever get a dime in a divorce proceeding! Most of the time we have to pay for the d---n divorce! | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 11/20/2007 4:11:49 PM | | to the women on this site and many others its the only thing that matters, forget about the things that really matter, if you got the cash they will buy what they think matters!they say they want honesty,loyalty,someone they can have things in common with ,but when that man shows up,if he dosent have a bankroll to flash around then he`s toast,good luck dude,im in the same mindset as this forum question. | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 11/20/2007 7:35:37 PM | Seems to be that if you don't show them what you are worth, they will start to hint about financial goals and if you don't prove your net worth or what you earn, they will decide you are a worthless piece of $hit and kick your a$$ to the curb.
Of course it's natural for people expect both to be able to contribute to the relationship and not be a financial burden. But, some people are looking for financial security the other will provide or it's a not going to work. I'm not saying that it's wrong, everyone wants a comfortable life. It may be better to not reveal too much in the beginning to find out what the other really expects out of the relationship, even if you are a woman. | |
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