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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 9/1/2007 9:11:09 PM | I find it odd how different people's perspectives of the same world can be so different. I've not noticed any of this 'money being so important to the ladies' type of thing in my travels around this website. I never even seen it as a hint of an issue with anyone I've met on here. My major problem is, being 'old school', when a woman offers to pay for me (or go 'dutch'), I do have a little difficulty with it. I will accept her generosity, but I must admit, it do feel a bit 'strange' about doing so. I sometimes wonder if I live in the same world as other people do.
cdn guy | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 9/1/2007 9:13:15 PM | Geez, you've been meeting the wrong women!! Are you exaggerating?
Is money that important? absolutely not. I don't think about that, at all, when browsing through profiles. Believe it or not I actually read them and look at the pictures and thats what interests me. I work for a living and even when I was married I took care of myself..I certainly don't need a man with money to "retire comfortably" with. It's kind of insulting to read such a thing but I guess there are women and yeah, men too who put great importance on financial standings.
My only comment on the money situation is that I would prefer to meet someone who is on the same level as myself so neither of us feels intimidated by the "money thing". | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 9/1/2007 9:42:12 PM | Of course money is important.
So is intelligence, compassion, physical attraction, a sense of humour...........well, you understand where I am going.
A similar socio/economic level makes dating and a potential long term relationship a wee bit easier.
If there is a chasm between both parties with respect to this, then perceived inequalities could develop.
^^BG^^ | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 9/2/2007 12:14:45 AM | Ahhh...here I come!
I started working at the age of 17. The only time I did not work was when I was in my last trimester of pregnancy. Two weeks after the birth of my son, I went back to work. I had a small stint when my son was an infant where I did not work. I quit work when he was about seven to go back to school and get a college degree. I've been working ever since and he is now 36.
My first husband, the father of my son, worked...for awhile. My second husband worked...for awhile. My third husband made three times as much as me and lost that job almost immediately but continued to work odd jobs. The last two husbands were on my insurance from my work.
My last two relationships were based on (from my corner) companionship and love. One made no money at all but stayed home and worked the garden. The second relationship was a laborer who insisted we spend his money first. When he would be out of work, we spent mine. We never once argued over money.
Its been said once and I'll say it again....what kind of women are you looking at and is this a life time habit? Habits can be changed.
And may I say Thank you to the gentlemen who have appeared on this thread to let you know we are not all after you wallet. | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 9/2/2007 1:26:44 AM | Have to say, I get a bit nervous/turned off by profiles that seem to bring th issue of how much the owner of the profile has. Either as a statement, or in pictures. . . . My experience in my own life has been that men that brag about it (one way or another), tend to be lacking in most of the other things I find valuable. It tends to be the only card they have, so they play it. And then get enormously offended to discover you are playing another game entirely. . . . On the whole, I'd just rather skip the sturm & drang. . . .
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 9/2/2007 4:22:03 AM |  The majority of the ladies who have responded here agree that money is NOT important, and even those who say it IS important, their statement is followed by BOTH parties having equal income, which I unstand that part.
Now then, we have a few gents coming back in stating that WOMEN, notice there is no (some, most) it's just women, use it in one way or another. Just an observation on my part, I could be wrong.
So I ask those men to take a look at this group(over 45 forum), most of the faces are the same over and over again, we have bright, self reliant ladies, who voice their opinions as clearly as can be. But yet they, I bet, have not been contacted by those men who are complaining, why is that?
Could it be THEY are looking for something they are acussing women of? Could it be that maybe strong indepentent women rattle their cage? I don't know, but for an out sider looking in, the answer is very clear, seek out what is true, not what you see...........JMO
Not stated to start any chit, just a comment to what I read is all. | |
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Tramp
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Joined: 2/8/2007
Msg: 57 | |
| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 9/2/2007 4:46:25 AM | Money is important to all, it is a necessity and solves a lot of problems.
Woodstar, that job still open? The stay home and tending the garden?
I'll do it anytime, any garden. | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 9/2/2007 4:54:44 AM | I am one of the few who thinks money is important or admits to it in the over 45 section.
I think when a woman says a man's $ isn't important (but NOT the main thing) she is either in denial or has low self esteem.
I don't agree w/ much of what Dr. Phil says, but he once did a show on this topic. He said people spend $ on what's important to them. He also said if a man doesn't spend $ on a woman, she is NOT a priority in his life. I agree
There are certain indicators that show our level of interest & caring in other people. Staying in touch, spending some $ & time, showing up on time, groomed, etc.
If a man spends his discretionary income on himself only & then expects you to pay or go dutch, he is telling you something VERY LOUD & CLEAR.
When in a good relationship, I recipricate w/ lovely home cooked meals & many kind acts. But I won't accept one-sidedness anymore.
In fact, I CRIED last night because of such behavior. I'm tired of being hurt by someone else's behavior. I'm not gassing up my car & driving out to where ever only to get the shaft.
Of course money is important.
So is intelligence, compassion, physical attraction, a sense of humour...........well, you understand where I am going.
A similar socio/economic level makes dating and a potential long term relationship a wee bit easier.
If there is a chasm between both parties with respect to this, then perceived inequalities could develop.
GREAT POST- at least one other person here is living in the real world!
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 9/2/2007 5:35:38 AM | | People spend money on what is important to them. OK, spend money on men. Home cooked meals? Give me a break. I want a car and a house, vacations, a big expensive ring, my health care premiums, a wardrobe, lavish gifts for no good reason just because you love me, and a secure retirement. If I am important to you I rate more than a home cooked meal, sex, or punctuality. If a woman doesn't want to fork over that level of expenditure, she doesn't value me and I cannot love her. | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 9/2/2007 6:07:15 AM | You know, I silently shake my head at younger women, when they're beginning to think about settling down, and one main factor in consideration of a mate is their wage earning ability. I am so thankful to my own parents who taught me from birth that I am responsible for myself.
And then, I look at myself and my contemporaries. We don't look for money. We already have that which we want. Personally, I have always been the main wage earner, and I understand the work and comittment that is required to get by, and I believe it is this quality that we look for.
But I do know I do not want to be involved with someone who isn't prepared to be my equal in all facets of a relationship, including the ability to co-finance whatever lifestyle we may agree upon.
Cheers, Raven | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 9/2/2007 6:22:30 AM | Yes money is important. Ever try to live without it?
It's not about how much money you have, it's about how you manage it.
I would take an average working man anyday who managed his money wisely as opposed to an executive type who ran up credit card debts and tried to live beyond his means.
We need money to live , thats a fact. We don't need money to love, or to have fun. The finer thngs in life are free. | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 9/2/2007 6:54:27 AM | I will admit that money is somewhat....notice I said SOMEWHAT important to me when entering a relationship....why? Because I have had relationships with men who have lost jobs and mooched from me, and I do not have a college education, and I have worked hard for the home I own (and purchased with MY money), and the nice car I own, and paid for with MY money, etc, etc. I am not looking for a man to take care of me, I can and HAVE done that myself for my entire adult life. Even when I was married, I worked, and it was 50/50 when splitting up the bills...no matter HOW much more the man made than I did.
I only have one thing to say about your post Mr. SLOWHANDBUNNY (wow, your screen name says it all, doesn't it?) why is SEX an issue with men when looking for a partner? And don't you dare say it isn't...because with a screen name SLOWHANDbunny....what else could it be?  | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 9/2/2007 7:06:48 AM | Of course money is important. Not how much...but what do you do with what you have!
How you manage your money tells a lot about your priorities and how you deal with responsibility. I take care of me and mine and I would expect the same from anyone else.
BZB | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 9/2/2007 8:18:01 AM | Money or the ability to earn money is important to everyone, men and women. I don't think that only women on the site are looking for a partner with money. I have seen men's profiles that state they are looking for a woman in the same finanacial state as they are (not worded exactly but meaning the same thing).
As we are all in different positions in life it is a necessary evil to have money to survive or to keep up the lifestyle that you want. I've worked all my life and contributed to a family income it would be nice to meet someone comfortable enough for me to continue to live in the manner to which I've become familiar. No harm in that is there?
Mind you if there is a sugar daddy out there that wants to treat me like a queen I'd not turn it down.
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 9/2/2007 8:23:30 AM | | That's what I am talking about. Women who say he must make as much as or more then she makes. That means she can make less than he does. Where is the equity of disparity? She won't accept his making less. I don't care who makes what, just pointing out this inequality of gender equality. | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 9/2/2007 8:43:51 AM | | I don't know who said a man has to make as much or more than the woman but the bottom line is when looking for a partner especially at our age why would anyone be it male or female want to lower the living standard they have accumulated during their lifetime. I'm not living high on the hog but I've been at the bottom of the barrel and thank you but I don't want to go back. That being said I have my income he has his does it change anything when combined. Maybe maybe not. Depends on how one manages the funds they have. MHO | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 9/2/2007 9:38:16 AM | Sorry, Tramp...that position is not open for discussion again...
The only way I would EVER support "my guy" ever again is if there were very very special circumstances.
I do not have low self esteem as one of my sisters supposed earlier. I've just never been materialistic. I've been searching (and finding) riches elsewhere.
Like I said before, you fellows who are attracting women who live for the fat purse...well, you attract what you are.
Take a hard serious honest look at yourself.... | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 9/2/2007 10:10:15 AM |
angellicblondie~ you have the right to your opinion, but when first meeting someone on POF, there is nothing wrong with going dutch. Also, you indicate that women who say that money isn't important have low-self esteem. I don't know how you came to that conclusion. Many of us here are saying that we make our own money & some woman may prefer to date someone with a similar financial situation, just as some men do. There are women here who have even stated that they were the primary bread winner. Since my divorce, I dated a man who made less money than I do & it wasn't an issue. Every situation is different
Let me clarify. In MY EXPERIENCE, as well as the experiences of other females I know, when someone accepts less, it is because they don't think they deserve MORE. The 1st date sets the tone for the relationship. I don't gold-dig, but I don't make myself a free doormat either.
There are many different types of people & that is what makes the world go round. Different strokes for different folks.
You get what you pay for...
You value what you've had to earn, rather than something handed to you on a silver platter | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 9/2/2007 10:30:08 AM | (I only have one thing to say about your post Mr. SLOWHANDBUNNY (wow, your screen name says it all, doesn't it?) why is SEX an issue with men when looking for a partner? And don't you dare say it isn't...because with a screen name SLOWHANDbunny....what else could it be?)
I wondered how long it would be before someone got personal. Do you really have the uncanny ability to judge someone through a silly computer-generated screen name? I'm also a born again Christian, perhaps you'd like to pass comment on that also.
Ladies. I think some of you don't have a clear understanding of what makes a successful 'love' relationship, what's important and what isn't. First ask yourself what are you looking for. Is it companionship, someone to live with, do sex with and share the daily chores of life, or are you looking for something more deep and meaningful, such as love and marriage. If it's the latter, then the key words here have to be 'unconditional acceptance', or in other words, accept each other for what we are, imperfect.
Am I a millionaire? Maybe. Am I destitute? Maybe. If I were to put on my profile that I'm unemployed, live on benefits and don't have two pennies to rub together, would you add me to your favourites? I think not! If I posted pictures of my Bentley and mansion in Spain and my yacht on the Mediterranean, I would be added to your favourites in a flash. (Yes, I have done this and proved it). However, whatever material wealth I have, or don't have is immaterial. I could turn out to be the best provider that you have ever known, I could turn out to be the best lover you've ever known, the most considerate and understanding... It's something that you'll never know. because you've never crossed the barrier of, 'has he got any money'? What can he give me. It's not about giving, it's about sharing and providing. How many of you would be prepared to share everything you have, right down to the last penny, for the right partner? Judging by your replies, not many, and I don't mean at the end of a failed relationship, but at the start. What's mine is mine, and what's yours is also mine. You're not getting any younger. Will your 'rich' husband still want to provide you with your perfect material lifestyle when you're old and infirm? Or will he look for a later model? Only true love and devotion will tell. Don't set your sights on what's in in for you now financially, but believe that with genuine love, my future is secure. When you do that, the rest will just fall into place. Your unconditional acceptance of your husband/wife is not based upon material wealth, but on their worth as God's gift to you. I have friends who have been married for over 40 years and have been through extreme poverty and hardship, and are still blissfully married. Why? Because they love each other, dumping each other was never an option. | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 9/2/2007 10:48:43 AM | The Word of God is right on target concerning marital relationships. "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ loved the church, and gave himself for it. . . . He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church" ( Eph. 5:25,8,29).
Marriage is giving--giving love and honor, courtesy and consideration. It also involves money and management of money, often a cause of considerable friction and disharmony in many marriages. Poor money management can literally wreck a marriage.
Four Guidelines
Couples should be guided by four principles of managing money if their marriages are to be harmonious according to the Scriptures, and in the Lord's will.
First, there should be no secrets. Both partners must be fully aware of the family's financial status. No private income should be unknown to the other party; no deception should be allowed.
Second, there should be no master-slave attitude: "I made this money. I'll decide how it's to be spent!" The wife working in the home has as much right to the income as her husband has. Any income earned by either party should be shared by both.
Third, there should be no cheating. Whatever plan has been established, both partners must agree to it and, if at all possible, stick to it. When that's not possible, they should talk it over and agree to shift gears.
Fourth, there should be no forgetting where the money comes from. Who gives a person the natural aptitudes and talents he was born with, the opportunity for education and training, his health, the strength to work, the brain to think-all the necessary equipment for earning a living?
These all come from God! It's the fool whose attitude says, "There is no God" (Ps. 14:1). Everyone is on God's great earth, using His facilities and the power He's given us to earn money. And He expects some return on His investment. | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 9/2/2007 10:54:00 AM |
You're not getting any younger. Will your 'rich' husband still want to provide you with your perfect material lifestyle when you're old and infirm?
See thats the thing OP, I don't count on a "rich husband" to provide for me. I count on ME. If you read through some of the threads you will see women over and over again who has said they have been through rough times. It didn't kill us, it only made us stronger. I'm not sure what woman rattled your chain, but don't put us all in the same pile. | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 9/2/2007 11:12:41 AM | Sweet:
Please note that our OP has the word "some" in his declamation. I almost missed it myself but went back for a second glance when I decided he couldn't possibly be talking about me.
I am confused as why the OP even asked this question to begin with because it seems from his later posts he has already decided this for us. | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 9/2/2007 11:45:59 AM | NO, money isn't that important! I won't support a guy, I'd like him to be able to pull his own weight in all areas of a relationship.
When I retire, I'll be quite comfortable thank you, and I won't need a man to support me. The man in my life will be there just for sex............laughs!! Not really, well? No just kidding. :)
Sure a guy needs to be able to support himself, and with what I make we should be quite comfortable.
Maybe your reading more into the money issue than need be!! | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 9/2/2007 12:08:25 PM | Thank You for clarifying that up for me. I guess my glasses got a little foggy from the steam coming out of my head lol.
OP seriously some women/men do set their expectations very high when searching. I personally wouldn't add a man to my favorites list just because he drives a bentley, or has a yacht. He wouldn't give me the time of day anyway. He would be searching for his trophy wife. I also wouldn't toss a man aside because he happened to be down on his luck. Would I marry a man who I would have to support? Not in this lifetime. | |
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