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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 1/1/2009 2:30:43 PM | I agree that bringing similar assets or income to a LTR or marriage is probably the best arrangement, but I'll bet it doesn't happen often.
I'm not really experienced in the current dating scene, but I can remember when I was in high school & college. Back then we had an A & W Drive-in, where most dates started. They had a "Baby Burger" on the menu, which I think was a nickel at the time. That's what I always ordered, because I knew I would not want to embarrass my date, nor break his bank account. It was the perfect size for me & would still be, with a small root beer & a couple of sweet pickles, I was comfortable.
Today, I almost always order an appetizer, as a meal, as it is just the right size & is usually affordable for anyone.
I have never asked a friend, a date, or even a stranger their income, the value of their home, or the age of their car, as I wouldn't know a 1990 from a 2009. I don't wish to move backward in my life style, although downsizing would not bother me much. I drive my cars until they quit.
I DO ask about family, if they have enjoyed their jobs or miss them, etc. I would really like to find someone who is close with their family, loved their spouse, mainly to see how the get along with others & have interests (hobbies) they enjoy outside of a relationship. I don't drink & don't run up a food bill & would never order something more expensive than my date. I don't expect to be wined & dined without reciprocation either. I married a man without a formal education or a job & a bit in debt. That doesn't mean you are not intelligent or are lazy. You can go to school at any age & sometimes street smarts & common sense work out better.
I look at how a person treats others, including his family, how he treats me, wait staff, contact with his friends, condition of his personal belongings, his personal appearance, if he lives in the current world, his use of language, (mainly profanity), most of all ----his smile & how often he smiles. Most disabilities OK too. (We all have disabilities.) It's really how he opens his heart to others. He need be handsome only in MY eyes.
Money?? Just enough to survive is fine with me. I can't think of much I own with a designer label. If so, it was by accident. I dress for comfort & uniqueness.
I'm easy to please, but difficult to impress.
Fishing anyone??
Happy New Year!
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 1/1/2009 3:14:05 PM | Excellent turn of a phrase!
I'm easy to please, but difficult to impress.
Interesting posts I must say but I still say that if you want security you should make sure you get it for yourself and not try to use someone to finance it for you. And things, cars, jewelry, Rolex watches or whatever will never impress me. Be funny, be nice to me and other people, be honest, agree with me...more or less...on things that in my opinion matter, I'm impressed. Someone's "lifestyle" and purchasing power just don't cut it...never did...never will. To be frank if someone flaunts the lifestyle et al thing too much it has exactly the opposite effect and I'm sure it can't just be me that feels that way.
Seems this used to be a hippie girl was otherwise occupied during the retraining sessions in the greed is good 80's but I do notice a lot of residual bitterness in some of the posts towards one gender or the other due to having met someone who made a career of it. All I hope for is that just because you knew someone who could be bought with things and/or a lifestyle it doesn't make you believe that all of us come with such sad standards. | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 1/1/2009 6:44:17 PM | If a guy or a gal has been frugal and has provided for his/herself it is natural to be cautious with a new partner.
I have put a bit away and will have a comfortable (but more modest than extravagant) retirement. If I had to split it in half in a few years it wouldn't be so comfortable, thats for sure.
Most ladies would feel the same. | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 1/2/2009 2:59:51 AM | | Consider yourselves lucky it is 2009. If it were the 1800s or even later, men were not considered marriage material if they did not have the money to support a wife. | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 1/2/2009 7:19:25 AM | Wow....Ive heard this but did not realize it was so common. I, for one, left a marrage with lots of income to move to a place where Im poorer than ive ever been in my life. I went from Lincoln Town Cars and owning a home to renting holes, driving a POS car, and struggling. Why? you might ask....
Cos he didnt know I was alive. We'd quit talking. in spite of my pleas to try and fix things.
My point is (Im doing much better now BTW), is that I would not get into something cos he made good money. I do require that I dont have to support him, but Im definately not obsessed with how much money he makes. I have what I need, I'm independant and self supporting, and I LIKE IT! | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?(ditzyblond)
Posted: 1/2/2009 12:06:02 PM | Well, you don't sound very Ditzy to me in your message! Sounds like your are actually very intelligent! Very simply put that money does not ensure any happiness while a lack of it can make it difficult to live a decent life. I have worked hard to live a comfortable for me life yet others here seem to think that a lack of money is because of diligence. That is not a fact but an opinion. Many well educated people are now living in stress because they thought that the market would keep them finacially sound. Out of greed they have now lost that security. Add that to the fact that many here have lost at least half of their money due to divorce and now find themselves starting over again. I would rather live with less and not gamble at this point of my life.
I would rather live with love than money. I wonder if the people that deem money to be their God are really happy. Maybe they actually do!"There is a monster one the loose, It's got our heads into a noose, and it just sits there watching"! Old Steppenwolf song.
Best of luck to you in this New Year!  | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 1/2/2009 3:29:02 PM |
Consider yourselves lucky it is 2009. If it were the 1800s or even later, men were not considered marriage material if they did not have the money to support a wife.
Well, kidralle, there were exceptions to that rule. If he had a good name and status in society as long as she came with money they were as likely to make a match approved by her family. After they both said I do/I will, he had money. Many the heiress or woman of means has been known to look to England and Europe for a title that came along with a financially disadvantaged husband. | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?(ditzyblond)
Posted: 1/2/2009 3:45:58 PM | There is the love of money and then there is the need for some money that matters for me. Grew up shopping with my Mom twice a month at Nordstroms in the 60's and now I dislike shopping with a passion.
Having been married to a great guy for 38 years, we worked as a team and had common goals, which made a lot of things less expensive since some things if you do them alone are more expensive than if you do them together. Not to mention when you have a great partner you tend (in my opinion) not to need to go out amongst others in hopes of meeting some. You already have them at home (smiling).
Money may buy happiness for the moment but real love cannot be bought. Was reminded of this when a few months ago the NYTimes ran a piece on the number of wealthy men who were consulting an attorney because with the down turn in the economy they feared their wife would leave, because the man wasnt making the millions and millions he had made in the past.
Good grief I would live in a cabin in the woods and cook on a woodstove and fish for trout if I loved a man that much. Come to think of it, thats the way I hope to be living in the next year.
A man need not spend money to impress me. | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 1/2/2009 5:01:40 PM |
Why, as we get older, is it that money seems to be a major issue with women when looking for a partner?
UGH!!!!!
There should be a section on the profiles that says how much money you ladies are looking for in a relationship. To Hell with looks, personality etc...it doesn't seem to count anymore
Double UGH!!!!
Read my profile regarding this issue and you will realize just how wrong you were to categorize all women the same!!!!
I could care less how much money a man has!
** Not all women are alike! | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 1/2/2009 5:19:20 PM | ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^...............................................
I would hope that by this age.. we all have some sort of "income" that can sustain each of us. With.. or without a partner.
With that being said though.. I have always heard that the "lean" years.. are always the best years.
I worked with the poor.. and I've seen them stress about covering the monthly bills.. and the inflating food prices.. and so on.
I've also seen where rich people super-stress-out over how much they owe the IRS.. and the scratch that's barely visible on their mega expensive cars.
All people seem to stress-out over money at one point in time or another.. over some of the silliest "uncontrollable" things.
I learned the hard way.. that LIFE is what's important.. not money.JMO | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 1/2/2009 5:46:59 PM | I'm sure I must have answered this question already. But, I don't understand some opinions. Not saying I disagree..........just sayin' I don't understand.
I could care less how much money a man has! **Not all women are alike!
Okay, this is going to sound like I'm a gold digger and money is more important than life...........DUH??? . ...
Well, I care how much money a man has....Not because I want or need any of it. But, because I need to know he's self-sufficient, fiscally responsible and won't be a leech off of me.
If a man, my age (60 yrs.old) lives in the back of his car and goes to the food bank for food, we're not a match. If he has no savings and debts up his yazzoo, we're not a match. If he doesn't own a car and his bicycle needs new tires and he can't afford them, we're not a match. If he hasn't got a pot to pizz in and a window to throw it out of, we're not a match. Well, I'm sure you get my drift.
Now, what was that you said? You could care less how much money a man has?
You're right....................not all woman are alike. Some of us are choosier than others and aren't interested in subsidizing a man that needs financing, in order to say we have a man in our life. | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 1/2/2009 6:24:17 PM |
Some of us are choosier than others and aren't interested in subsidizing a man that needs financing, in order to say we have a man in our life
Well, no where in my previous post did I make any mention of said circumstances. As a matter of fact, I am single/alone at this juncture in my life. But I also have no plans of ever supporting a man on my income...all I said was I don't care how much money a man has. Key word, "Has" as in; he would have a job but he doesn't need to be making money hand over fist.
I care not about materialistic worth. A man's integrity, sincerity, respect of others and ability to love are the substance I am looking for....not how thick his wallet is.
^^^^ Well, I am sure YOU get MY drift  | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 1/2/2009 7:01:49 PM | all I said was I don't care how much money a man has. Key word "Has" as in, he would have a job but doesn't need to be making money hand over fist.
Glad you clarified that he needs to have a job.
'Cause I'd need for him to have a pot and a window too. Course, that's just me.
Integrity, sincerity, respect and the ability to love goes without saying. But, this forum isn't about that. The OP asked whether ladies think money is important at this stage of life and I gave my answer TO THE OP^^^^if YOU get MY drift. Of course, money is important. Any fool knows that you can't live only on love and all those other "pie in the sky" ideals. For God's sake we are over 45, aren't we? | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 1/2/2009 7:21:19 PM | One o my Daddy's favorite sayings was he/she hasn't got a pot to
piss in! When ya think about it? Daddy was pretty much on the money!!!
Personally, I am not lookin for riches, nor am I looking to support a man. I have done that already for 18 years and this gal isn't going there anytime soon! | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 1/2/2009 7:38:46 PM |
Now, what was that you said? You could care less how much money a man has?
You're right....................not all woman are alike. Some of us are choosier than others and aren't interested in subsidizing a man that needs financing, in order to say we have a man in our life.
Hear! Hear! Well said!
I see a LOT of women in the forum complaining about deadbeat boyfriends/husbands.
Myself? Never had anyone support me since I left my parents home, decades ago, and I'm doing well. Hell, my pride wouldn't allow me to be financially dependant on anyone.
However, you might be surprised by the fact that there are women out there that ARE interested in a man subsidizing THEM, or not. Luckly (or maybe not), I've met very few.
Sad thing is, sometimes if a man simply wants a level playing field he's labled all kinds of nasty things. Guess that's another thread.
just a couple thoughts, relevant or not
PS: In the words of Rod Stewart. "Poppa always said, son don't cha lose ya head to a woman that'll spend your bread." | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 1/2/2009 7:43:36 PM |
However, you might be surprised by the fact that there are women out there that ARE interested in a man subsidizing THEM, or not. Luckly (or maybe not), I've met very few.
Mr. Levi? I can totally agree with that statement. I have come across women with attitudes like that. Have to say it embarasses me to be quite honest. Gives the rest of us up front gals a bad name! | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 1/2/2009 7:55:50 PM |
Mr. Levi? I can totally agree with that statement. I have come across women with attitudes like that. Have to say it embarasses me to be quite honest. Gives the rest of us up front gals a bad name!
I feel your pain. A few mooches can give us "up front" guys a bad name too.
I will admitt that, experiencing just one bad apple does make one cautious. Perhaps more than warrented, but a yellow alert often carries forward, nonetheless.
When I have been called those nasty names I simply respond that while I might seem a lil sensitive about money, I'm ALWAYS fair.
just a follow-up thought
PS: I would never put you in the bad apple bunch Ms. Moon! | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 1/2/2009 8:11:24 PM | PS: I would never put you in the bad apple bunch Ms. Moon
Do we have a match???
Messages this short may not be posted yada yada yada!!.........................yada yada yada!................... | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 1/2/2009 9:30:37 PM | ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^.................................................
"Anyway, money seems to be an inverted ratio: The less one has, the more important it becomes."
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I think the importance that's put upon money by those of lesser means (the poor) is to just have enough to pay for the necessities of life. What most people would consider to be "living comfortably."
So.. I don't think the lesser money you have the more important it becomes to anyone other than the bill collectors. | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 1/2/2009 9:41:14 PM |
I think the importance that's put upon money by those of lesser means (the poor) is to just have enough to pay for the necessities of life. What most people would consider to be "living comfortably."
Uh.... In not so many words, that's what I just said.
insert "scratching head" emoticon. | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 1/2/2009 10:05:43 PM | ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^......................................
"The less one has, the more important it becomes."
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Sorry.. but that statement suggested to me that the less money one has.. the more importance they place on the money itself. Materialism. JMO | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 1/2/2009 10:06:06 PM |
...There's more to life than money....
Yes, there is, and many are blind to that.
I have two young people as neighbors; early 20's. They have very little and are very happy. Happy to be with each other, that is. Everything else is secondary. Other than age, what is the difference between them and us? Perhaps the keeping-up-with-the-Jones bug hasn't hit them yet. Somewhere along the line, the greed instinct seems to kick in. And we wonder why the economy is so bad... | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 1/2/2009 10:25:29 PM | ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^........................................
Awwwwwe storm.....
...... that only kicks in for some.. not all. Besides.. those that give into kicks.. usually end up getting kicked back.JMO | |
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