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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 1/4/2009 11:20:47 AM | MY money is important to me..what I have saved..
I dont care if the man has lots or none ..I will not
want his and do not expect to support him either | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 1/4/2009 1:15:11 PM | Storm55, you think the greed instinct is the reason why the economy is bad? wow
if thats what you think , youre part of the problem why the economy is bad, greed has nothing to do it.
I have two young people as neighbors; early 20's. They have very little and are very happy. Happy to be with each other, that is. Everything else is secondary-storm55 Ever thought that these people are just happy people period, money or lack of money has nothing to do it, happy people are just happy people.
many are blind to what? are you one of those people who think money is the root of all evil? | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 1/4/2009 7:26:42 PM | [Sad thing is, sometimes if a man simply wants a level playing field he's labled all kinds of nasty things.]
I agree Levi501, I like your expression of "a level playing field" .
The number 1 reason most relationships fail is money, and it seems to me that the ones who have the least seem to berate the ones who are the more fiscally responsible. I have seen people that will spend their last dollar, live beyond their means, load up the charge cards, destroy their credit, declare bankruptsy to avoid paying their liabilities and then accuse someone who doesn't do all these things as being "money hungry"! Does anyone else see the irony in this? | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 1/5/2009 6:06:11 AM | I tend to avoid the men whose profiles state that they are looking for a woman who is financially stable. In my experience that tends to mean that they...the men....are money hungry themselves, wanting to travel, etc.
At one point in my life I was living the dream life...or so I thought at the time. My SO and I both had decent jobs and were able to afford yearly trips, 2 cars, a boat, and paid off the mortgage in 5 years. That was what we had set out to attain when we first met, yet all those things, all those privileges, did not keep us together. If anything, the constant need for more was one of the things that drove us apart in the end.
I am more interested in a man's character, humor, intelligence, than I am in the size of his wallet. If a date starts out with him talking about his material things, that is a definite negative for me.
Just yesterday a (male) friend said that I could make more money at a different job. My answer was that I love my work and would not be happy doing anything else at this point in my life. I make enough to live on and put a bit aside. That is all I need or want.
I do not consider myself poor, but rather rich in the simplicity of my life. | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 1/5/2009 8:02:48 AM | Is money important? You bet it is, I work 2 jobs, and all that money I earn is very important to me. I worked hard for it!! Is your money important to me? No. I'm just happy you have some and don't plan on spending mine.
As for if I look for it in a prospective partner? No, I don't care if you have a Harley, a boat, an RV, a Corvette, and a house in Florida. If you are smart, show some thought went into the writing of your profile. If it makes me laugh, or if it shows sincerity. If you were born sometime before the Beatles appeared on the Ed Sullivan show I wouldn't care if you drive a 30 year old Pinto wagon, and live in your parents basement.
It's who you are, not what you own, or how much money you have that matters. | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 1/11/2009 4:17:03 PM | | I don't believe a man is defined by the job or amount of money he makes. I do feel a man should be able to support himself with whatever income he makes and not be dependent on a woman to bail him out. That's integrity not money. | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 1/11/2009 6:11:36 PM | | Because, after trying to half support 5 or 10 throughout your life, you're bloody tired, worn out, drained, tired of the abuse and just want to do it the easy way. Take care of yourself, or get lost. | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 1/11/2009 8:26:42 PM | I believe that a person's financial state is important if the gap between income levels is too big. I am a big earner, and while I would not have a problem being with someone who earns less than me, I would definitely have a problem supporting someone. So in my case I am not looking for a comfortable retirement, I am looking for someone who is not looking for a comfortable retirement.
Also, and this is important, when we were younger money was not an issue and we hooked up based on other attributes. But how many divorces do you hear of that happened because of money problems? Lots! Money shouldn't dictate your interest, but it should play into your assessment of whether a person can play in your world without depending on you to be a total provider. | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 1/11/2009 11:05:22 PM | Um, trust me, when we're younger, it's also important. No one wants to date someone with no job who spends his days playing videogames on your couch. Trust me. I just had this experience for a few months ending this past October. I was thinking I was being helpful to the idiot, paying for food, trying to find him a job, etc. I kicked him out. As my grandmother told me, I can be broke by myself.
Money should count only as much as each person is able to pull his/her own weight. I am approaching a career change that would throw me into a higher stratosphere (even in this economy) and frankly unless you're working for the UN, teaching orphans or the blind, working with dogs or former gang members, you sure as hell need to be making as much as I do. Men probably need to have that standard as well. But in our culture, a woman who makes less is acceptable. But I've seen the effects of a woman making more (my parents and others) and how that demoralizes a man, and as such it's hard for a gal to successfully be with someone without the earning potential she has. Unemployed and bitter do not a good life partner make. | |
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rco20
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Joined: 4/29/2006
Msg: 760 | |
| Finacial Secure.
Posted: 1/12/2009 8:48:34 AM | Well the ones that are after money are pretty easy to pick out Mr.Bunny lol!
Money is somwhat and important factor but should be only important for combined:
Rent,Mortgage,Spending time out together enhance the quality of your relationship. By no means should a woman or man be concerned about the money their other half make for any other reasons. Just for a 50/50 basic economical survival cause it's hard to make it on your own today. | |
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| Finacial Secure.
Posted: 1/13/2009 4:11:36 AM | | You did speak truth on that one. I do believe, however, that neither one should be "totally" dependent on the other. With any relationship, there should be give and take as long as it's not a continual taking and no giving and sometimes you have to prioritize your "wants" and needs. I don't feel that a relationship should be hindered because on person makes more money than another. You could be missing out on the real thing because you have limited people in your life but ...having two incomes can make life more enjoyable, if repectfully joined. | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 1/14/2009 3:24:55 PM | | Nahhh, not for me. I think I was happier with less money. I just have more responsiblities and more bills now. I'd like my partner to at least earn some kind of living, but not really concerned with the money. All this crap around me, heck, I'd give it all up, for the perfect love. | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 1/14/2009 3:48:07 PM | | I don't care what anybody says, money is an amazing aphrodisiac. How else can you explain old rich guys with beautiful young wives, girlfriends, mistresses, etc? Take a look at Donald Trump. I gurantee I am better looking than him- well at least better hair, probably a better conversationlist, chances are a lot funnier, but 99 times out of 100, if we were hitting on the same lady, at the same time, at the same place- she would end up with him! | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 1/14/2009 4:08:31 PM | discerning heart
I'm with you completely on this one. I agree that most relationships have serious problems and a lot of them fail because of money. I have had people tell me that I should be willing to pay more taxes and give money to people who have less than me.
Most of the people I know who complain about money are living way beyond their means. They have maxed out their credit cards and think the government should bail them out. What about those of us who are fiscally conservative and pay all of our bills?
Money and how it is spent and saved is what should be important. If you make $30,000, you can't spend $40,000 every year. I think money is very important to people when they don't have enough for necessities. It is best to go into a relationship with someone who feels the same way about how money should be spent and saved. | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 1/14/2009 5:56:24 PM | Not all women think as you have posted. I would just be thrilled to find
a wonderful man who treated me well, adored me for me and helped out
around the house. Are you kidding me, there is so much more to life than
what is in there wallets. | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 1/14/2009 6:24:59 PM | | I was dating an older man and wasn't interested in the money that he made or in his case didn't make. We are no longer together, but I do have to say that HE seems to be running into women that only want men that can travel and that have money, even though he likes their personality he knows that he can't have a relationship with them because he just can't afford to have them in his life. | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 1/14/2009 7:05:46 PM | Hell yes it is! I'm 49 years old. I've dated more than a couple guys in my age group that were working minimum wage jobs, had not earned a retirement from a previous career, were driving a junker, living with their mothers... They could't afford to go anywhere or do anything.
I make a good wage, I am close to a good retirement, I drive a late model truck, I also drive a late model Harley, and I own my own home.
I don't want to support a man the rest of his life. I want to go out and do things. I don't want to sit home and watch TV because he doesn't have any money and just wants to "snuggle on the couch". Screw that. I want to go places and do fun things, and I want him to pay half of the time.
Some dating sites do have a section for income requirements. You can screen or search with that as one of your prerequisites. I like that option.
Historically, income has almost always counted when considering mates. The romantic notion that only love counts became overblown in the Victorian Era. How many fathers sought to marry their daughters off to the poorest men in town? Not many I suspect.
Sorry about my rant, but I'm getting tired of men whining about having to have a decent job, or have earned a decent retirement. I've worked hard for a long time. I'm not interested in a man who hasn't done the same. | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 1/16/2009 2:36:18 AM | Interesting comments have been posted here, but honestly, let's just boil it down to that old adage:
"Money talks, bulls**t walks"
It's cute to be poor in your 20's....not so much in your 40's and up
But remember ladies...and I'm talking about you 40+'ers that whine "Where are all the good guys?".....The ones that make the kind of money you want are with women half their age because they can afford to be. They're the one with the sports car mentality....why drive a classic when the shiny, new sporty model gets you noticed more?  | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 1/16/2009 2:40:10 PM | I read this whole thread because it's something I've been thinking about.
When you are young and just starting out; money isn't so important because you are going to spend your lives together working towards your own particular goals for the future. When you are older and looking for a special someone to cherish for the rest of your life, it's different. You no longer have decades to work on making money and saving for a retirement.
I'm not rich but I am OK. I want to find a wonderful man who is in a similar situation. I would prefer to be with someone who can afford to do the same things I can do. I worked hard to be where I am today. I don't want to mooch off of anyone nor do I want anyone to mooch off me. I would resent having to pay ALL the time and finance ALL of our activities. I'm not looking for Daddy Warbucks or the guy on the corner who will work for beer. Just someone in the middle. After all, anyone who is over 45 and can't support themselves has more serious problems than being dateless! | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 1/16/2009 3:12:00 PM | "Unemployed and bitter do not a good life partner make."
Well said, young lady, well said!
Neither does "I am pissed off because you work two jobs to support yourself, but you won't consider supporting me...."
And even worse, "if you really cared about me, you would quit working (downsize, throw away your retirement), and spend more time with me, because (the misery of looking forward to retirement with no income or benefits), loves company...." | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 1/16/2009 3:53:30 PM |
But remember ladies...and I'm talking about you 40+'ers that whine "Where are all the good guys?".....The ones that make the kind of money you want are with women half their age because they can afford to be.
Pfft! I can't speak to what other women may or may not want, but for myself, I wouldn't WANT a man who uses his money to buy "arm candy". (Hope he's got longterm care insurance, when he needs a nurse and his money is disappearing into medical expenses, I suspect the "arm candy"will become a magician and disappear.)
That said, if it is "unreasonable" for me to want a man who can provide decently for himself( not living in Mom's basement or brother's couch, a reliable set of wheels, and medical insurance) then unreasonable I will be. I have sufficient resources to take care of myself and expect the same in a partner.
Cindy O | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 1/17/2009 2:50:05 PM | | I couldn't have put it better myself. I've had countless conversations with friends and relatives about this same subject. I do ok for myself and my mate must also. I, like you patty13, am NOT looking to mooch off anyone. Nor have them mooch off me. I need someone that can go away for the weekend once in a while without having to save up for 6 months. I'm willing to go half. I know the economy is bad. The bottom line is i'm sick of always having to defend myself when I talk to people about wanting a man is on or close to the same financial playing field | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 1/17/2009 6:45:48 PM | Ahhhh, c'mon guys. Be perceptive, and choose carefully.
When I was a young executive in my first, flashy, corporate position, I tended to look for female company in all the "trendy", fashionable places in town. And the ones I met would have gladly made it a requirement to have your Dunn & Bradstreet rating tatooed onto your forehead as a prerequisite to entering, just so that they could assess your wealth withour having to actually fein any real attraction or waste time on a pauper in disguise.
You don't have to be Sherlock Holms to spot the ladies just looking for a meal ticket.
And if you're unsure if a ladies just after your money, just tell her that you're disabled, and living on a modest sized, monthly social security check, and see if she's still around for desert, lol. The ones that are really interested in you, will not only stay for desert, but want an apertife as well.
Also, for me at least, pay attention to just how much they seem to value the acceptance of others, versus being ladies confidant in themselves, and in the decisions THEY, (as opposed to society) make. Truly independent thinkers over 45 are way past that, and usually a bit smarter and more resourcful and resiliant than the ones who simply want to be as comfy as the Jones. Be patient, and throw a wide net, because the real trophies can require a lot of fishing. | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 1/25/2009 4:30:21 AM | ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
So our only choices are a goofy looking billionaire or hot, sexy gorgeous?
And where do you fit in? Oh yeah, angry and bitter. | |
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