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| Is money really that important ladies? Posted: 7/5/2009 11:52:10 PM | I'll say this.. I saw a post from a girl who was very clear about this issue. She included in her profile "I am looking for someone who is rich, ..." There was no confusion is what her priorities and $ expectations were. I totally respect that and applaud her for being so confident (though some might say shallow). I try not to judge people. We all have our shortcommings, even if we think we are god's gift. This issue has it's challenges. Some women want to be a man's "equal" and yet expect the man to carry the financial ball. On the other hand some women are more traditional, but very confident and ready to pull out their card. It's all up in the air and needs to be discussed one-on-one because everyone has different points of view and priorities. | |
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| Is money really that important ladies? Posted: 7/6/2009 12:00:37 PM | I'm sure (in 33 pages) this has been chewed to death... but on I go... Yes, when we were younger money did not matter as we were forming our lives, our careers, our financial lives. So... in choosing a partner back then it was based on physical, emotional, and intellectual attraction.
Now... later it is based on all of those things too, and in many cases yes, financial stability and security does matter.
If we have built our selves up financially and expect that we can take ourselves on vacations once a winter to some warm locale far from home we'd likely want to be with someone that has a similar like and can afford the same. Sure, there is more to life than money, but if you have worked hard and are financially comfortable would it not be proper to be with someone that is in similar circumstances? I don't think men or women want to be with someone quite financially different from where they are as they approach retirement. | |
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| Is money really that important ladies? Posted: 7/6/2009 1:10:32 PM | | What I am looking for is a man that actually works, I don't care how much he makes. In the past I have had many men mooch off of me or try to mooch, quit their jobs wanting me to support them, NO, keep walking. I have also met a man that told me I didn't make enough money for him? Was he a moocher or did he feel I was the moocher. I feel a lot of men set themselves up by picking out the glitsy women that only have dollar signs in their eyes. I have dated well to do men but I haven't found one I am really interested in. I have never had a man take care and buy me everything. When I am in a relationship I look beyond how much money he makes, I look to see how resposible is he a spender or a saver, both of my exes were spenders and I was the saver. I want to live comfortable without having to struggle but I don't have to live in the biggest finest house either. | |
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| Is money really that important ladies? Posted: 7/6/2009 2:01:40 PM | | OP, money provides a security to some women and to others it means nothing. It all depends on the attitude of the person you meet. It is nice to be able to a roof over your head, health insurance and warmth dring a cold winter night or cool during a hot summer night. These things are subjective to many people but to others are very important. It's what makes the world go around! It may be that a person is just used to a certain lifestyle that he or she does not want to compromise. What people forget is that that can be altered in a heartbeat. I personally don't care but I do not find fault in people that do. That's a choice or prerequiset that some people have. For most, as we grow older and more mature, this does not play an important role. You were born with nothing nd you will die the same way! | |
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| Is money really that important ladies? Posted: 7/6/2009 2:13:56 PM | Juli5680 . I agree with your statement " When I am in a relationship I look beyond how much money he makes, I look to see how resposible is he".
I'm not looking for a sugar daddy, just a man that is responsibile, cause I have no desire to be a sugar momma. | |
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| Is money really that important ladies? Posted: 7/6/2009 3:08:07 PM |
I'll say this.. I saw a post from a girl who was very clear about this issue. She included in her profile "I am looking for someone who is rich, ..." There was no confusion is what her priorities and $ expectations were. I totally respect that and applaud her for being so confident (though some might say shallow). I try not to judge people. We all have our shortcommings, even if we think we are god's gift. This issue has it's challenges. Some women want to be a man's "equal" and yet expect the man to carry the financial ball. On the other hand some women are more traditional, but very confident and ready to pull out their card. It's all up in the air and needs to be discussed one-on-one because everyone has different points of view and priorities.
I agree . I'd rather have it all out in front. I've started relationships based on money and it ended up growing into more. In some cases 'I' was the one there for the $$$. Yes I was a ho (at times) in my younger days. I've had women buy me real estate, plane tix, give me large sums of money... So, I can't complain when a woman is after it. What I do have a problem with is if they try to front... and act like there is another reason..
Also if there is money involved, there should be a good product delivered. Obviously the women who spoiled me when I was younger got their money's worth or they wouldn't have offered it up... I don't like women who want $$$ and bring no real 'talents' to the equation.. | |
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| Is money really that important ladies? Posted: 7/6/2009 9:14:21 PM | | Juli, I have met men who said I didn't make enough $ either....I wondered why, since I wasn't asking them for any of THEIRS...... | |
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| Is money really that important ladies? Posted: 7/7/2009 11:11:44 AM | | Money doesn't buy love! Nor happiness! I've lived off my own salary for years. If I am in a relationship living apart, I like to pay my way or take my turn. No one lives or does anything of enjoyment for free. Everything costs. If I am living with someone, and they don't work, or work much, I would hope they would then carry some weight at home while I'm working. This is highly valued. But if I'm going to have another "kid" on the couch, nope, not interested. It's only fair. | |
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| Is money really that important ladies? Posted: 7/7/2009 8:19:36 PM | | Not being a person of means, I feel my dating prospects will improve once our economy sinks deeper into the depression, as women will reassess their prospects of finding a man with money. | |
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| Is money really that important ladies? Posted: 7/8/2009 6:45:24 AM | I agree - 33 pages..yikes...
Money is NOT important to me. Actually, it's surprising how it doesn't even show up as a blip on my radar. | |
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| Is money really that important ladies? Posted: 7/12/2009 9:16:03 PM |
Is money really that important ladies? Posted: 7/6/2009 10  56 PM Juli5680 . I agree with your statement " When I am in a relationship I look beyond how much money he makes, I look to see how resposible is he". I'm not looking for a sugar daddy, just a man that is responsibile, cause I have no desire to be a sugar momma.
Totally agree! | |
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| Is money really that important ladies? Posted: 7/12/2009 10:04:39 PM | | Is he generous with his time? Is he generous with his conversation/communication? Is he generous with his smile? Is he generous with his wit? No matter how much money he has or hasn't, those things are some of the greatest assets in the relationship. | |
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| Is money really that important ladies? Posted: 7/13/2009 5:53:08 AM | I think it has become more important the last couple of years.
Here's reality folks, coming from a guy who analyzes the market for a living, trades the market for a living, and has literally kept several thousand people out of the abyss the last two years: a very large proportion of the population has rocks in their head when it comes to finances, and so long as the bank will offer them more credit they will TAKE IT AND IMMEDIATELY SPEND IT.
This, of course, leads directly to ruin eventually - every single time - and it does not matter what economic strata you start in.
Does it matter if I'm "casually dating"? No.
But does it matter if I'm going to get involved with someone long-term? You betcha it does! If you're one of those folks who is $20,000 in debt on your plastic whether I CAN bail you out (indeed I can) doesn't matter - I won't - no matter how much I like you.
Why not? Because this sort of "conspicuous consumption" beyond one's earning ability is a CHOICE, and if you've made that choice eventually it is going to become a problem for "us" if we're together.
I don't live that way and never have, and as a consequence have not only dodged this economic mess I've profited from it and intend to profit MUCH MORE as it gets worse (and it WILL get worse folks; if you think not, contact me - I'll point you to my daily writings on this going back more than two years, and you can judge for yourself on my record.)
And by the way, the reason we're in this mess in the first place is that more than half of the population - both men and women - think that "home appreciation" of 10% is "normal" (and they have a "right" to HELOC it out and spend it) and that "stocks always go up."
How's your 401k doing again? | |
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| Is money really that important ladies? Posted: 7/13/2009 9:51:56 AM | | They may not come right out and say you have to make a certain amount to make her happy but many will "recommend" lots of very expensive places for you to take her but not offer to take you. It can put you in a very uncomfortable position because you may not be able to afford it and of course she will see you as "cheap" if you fail to take her there. This is not the case with all but i would say the majority. Why do you think they want to get married? They obviously want to get a legal grip on your finances, it serves no other purpose!! | |
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| Is money really that important ladies? Posted: 7/13/2009 9:20:56 PM | | hmmmm.... 33 pages of "comments" on this topic. I dare not read all but it's quite obvious it's a very important item to be discussed. I have no desire to get married for money nor want to get a grip on anyone's finances but I feel the pain in that comment as I am the one paying the alimony. There are many people in the world and some want relationships just for the money, some for companionship, etc but just because we are "women" doesn't mean we want money cause we just might have more than what the man brings home. | |
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| Is money really that important ladies? Posted: 7/14/2009 1:32:04 AM | To Simplyfy the Context in one respect, As we get older, material importnace ( e.g. money & the products it's used to satisfy us) dissolve in priority spiritual (e.g. relationships, family) Men or Women ~sc~ | |
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| Is money really that important ladies? Posted: 7/14/2009 9:05:53 AM | As a female who has always made and had more then my partners, mostly because I am good with it, money has never been a problem for me. It has, however, created jealousy, mooching, laziness and unrealistic expectations and squandering in some men. Quite the opposite of most relationships perhaps, so I see the other side of the coin. I don't want to take care of anyone else financially or pay off their bad debts.
Money is important to me only to pay the bills and have the nest egg. I want a man who would contribute to the life as a partner and that includes finances. Other then that, I am more concerned with what he is doing to give back to the world and whether he is generous with love and giving of his time. That priority of importance has been the same since I was 20.
I will add, I am semi retired and my income has dwindled considerably, plus I have Herpes, in case there are moochers or date scammers reading. | |
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| Is money really that important ladies? Posted: 10/15/2009 12:45:01 AM | Money isn't that important to me--I've never had tons of it and definitely don't these days. However, I have talked to SO many men on this site who want ME to pay for the dates, have no problem with me providing EVERY thing and don't see why they should contribute financially at all. I have no idea where men get the idea that a woman should pay for both people on a date, even when HE asked her out. Talk about the tables being turned! | |
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| Is money really that important ladies? Posted: 10/15/2009 2:15:31 AM | The older we get the more difficult it is to find a fulfilling relationship, due to the availability pool, people set in their ways(hard to teach an old dog new tricks), mortality, mental attatudes of accepting no less(which sometimes is never attainable from someone else) and the independance that living life brings. We are older and our physical youthfulness dimenishes. The value we place on youth and looks within or society is no longer ours but the younger generations. We are left with the harsh reality that time changes everyone. Many dont accept this, they spend thousands of dollars on surgery to try to recapture thier fleeting youth. The reality is it comes to us all. The fact that many people never compramised or gave in a relationship may never have landed them a lasting long term partner. This lack of meeting someone half way leaves many to live a single life. Those with skills endured the trials and tribulations that allowed many of those partnerships to rise above problematic issues and may be better suited for longevity with someone. People become more concious of retirement and the financial needs they will need to continue some sort of lifestyle they may be accustomed to. Some loose jobs to be replace by younger people, some employers discriminate on age, some people can not work due to disabilities, ect. So I would believe people that have not saved to provide themselves with some sort of subsudence would look to those with money in these circumstances.Those that have provided for themselves, have the financial means for support and may be in a better positon to find what they want in life with someone, be it personal characteristics, or the ability to get along with them in a fulfilling way. | |
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| Is money really that important ladies? Posted: 10/15/2009 6:03:01 PM | I think, OP, the answer may lay in the world of equality. You see, our society boasts equality for all persons, however, women tend to get paid on average, less than men. We don't need to get into the whys. It just is. So having and acquiring money is an issue for some women. I am one of the lucky few who have carved out a spot that eliminates that problem. But trust me, it is a problem for many of us. We don't want to become cat ladies (lonely) or cat food eaters (broke) in our old age. Hope that helps. | |
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| Is money really that important ladies? Posted: 10/16/2009 9:15:25 AM |
Is money really that important ladies ?
Nah, but job is important and the paycheck to pay bills ,rent,utility bills ,bus fare, food and soap and toothpaste, cellphone.... Of course theres life more than money, I have to sleep too and do things outside the job/ take vacation from working ect..
I have seen few homeless people asking for money on the street. I guessed money is important to them..
As a lady money is important to me, I WILL NOT TAKE A MAN that thinks money is unimportant that he can live without money. No way, that I will support him....Yah know it cost MONEY TO live.................... For the record ,I would want to know anyone who lives without money ???????? | |
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| Is money really that important ladies? Posted: 10/16/2009 9:45:23 AM | | When one needs money but doesn't have money, money is important. When one has money and wants more money, money is important. When one doesn't need money and has no money, money isn't very important. When one has money and doesn't care to have more, money isn't important! Everything one needs and wants is important! | |
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