| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 9/2/2007 1:59:40 PM | From reading through this thread I can see there are some who, no matter what someone says, is determined that most (maybe not all) women are after their money. That is a preference, and reading some of the men's profiles I see the same thing. Must be financially secure.. That is fine, but why complain about it. OP find yourself a woman who is as financially secure as you are, and then everyone will be happy!
Maybe I shouldn't even respond, as I am not wealthy, but I don't have any debts, and live within my means! JMO | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 9/2/2007 3:14:51 PM | | Let's see, the last 3 years of my marriage I didn't get a dime out of my husband, not one lousy dime. He left me for 6 months while he took up with a girl in Mexico, then came back, laid around the house for a month not working and not looking either, then he left me for a year while he took a job in Chicago, never sending me anything. I ended up having to get a divorce by default because I couldn't locate him after he left Chicago, went back to Mexico and supposedly ended up in Houston. Oh and the divorce cost me plenty too, cuz it's not the normal way most people get a divorce. We have a daughter and I did manage to be awarded sole custody of her but was denied child support because he wasn't present. So is money important to me? It is when I'm married to someone, I feel it should be fifty fifty. I met a guy a few weeks ago and he invited me to dinner, so I suggested a mexican restaurant that I like. Guess what guys? During dinner he proceeds to tell me that he is broke cuz he just moved back for SC and could I pick up the tab? WTF? I didn't have much choice did I? Can we all say in unison, loser!!! That date cost me 35 dollars!! I'm about to swear off men, I can't find anyone on here even close to my age. I only get messages from 20 somethings and you know what they are after. So my answer is, no it's not that important to me, but if you ask me out on a date at least have the decency to tell me you're broke up front!!!! | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 9/2/2007 3:37:50 PM | Haha I noticed the "some" the second time around. Geesh, I'm glad he's not talking about me.
He is right though money is not important to have a good relationship. But it certainly can make things easier. After 35 years of marriage and now widowed I'm going to be careful that I don't squander what I have on materialistic things. I'm going to live a long time and enjoy my family, and who knows maybe I'll be lucky enough to meet another person who wants to be in my life. Just hoping when I do he will have a retirement plan or job to help along the way.
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 9/2/2007 3:49:29 PM | | well men and some women....remember that alot of women gave their all when they first married..many of whome could have had a better career then their respective spouse..instead, they became mothers and raise the kids and when the marriage took a turn for the worse...they were the loser...no retirment..some with no formal education..etc..I have been with POF for the last few days and have conversed with several women...many are professional and earning atleast 75+...there are gold diggers on both sides of the fences... | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 9/2/2007 4:25:34 PM | Yes, money is important to me.
Disagree with OP that it never used to matter: Started when the tooth fairy left coins and I had to decide whether to spend on something to share with my siblings or save.
Disagree with those who say women seek men for money: Signed my first pre-nup at 24; it was my idea. Would never live with someone or marry without one.
Disagree with the comment some women are not generous: Paid one partner a significant amount when we split, not out of obligation, but because it was the fair thing to do based on circumstances and have never regretted it.
Hey, I work hard, never live beyond my means, own home, zero debt, enough in 401 k to retire soon. Yes, life is good. Why should I settle for less than I offer? Seriously lol?
All my female friends between 35-50 are in great financial shape too. When not shoe shopping, we discuss everything from the sub prime loan crisis to investments tips. Our biggest complaint is we can't meet men who have anywhere near the financial security we offer. We neither want millionaires nor sugar-daddies, just our equals.
I have met many "live each day like it's your last" types who always opt for fun as life's too short. No money, no assets, no problem, life's a beach woo hoo. Good luck with that! Briefly dated a man who was a financial planner who admitted being distressed over his daughter's acceptance to an out-of-state college because he hadn't planned for her education and was hoping to finance her education with a loan. And he offered to manage my money 
Also dated several "married younger/non professional woman, have young children, she took me to the cleaners in the divorce" types who have decades of financial responsibilities ahead dispite their advanced age late 40's to 60. Not a great selling feature, sorry.
So why am I on POF? For the forums of course  | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 9/2/2007 5:21:42 PM | Only to the point where I would only date someone who could support himself and could keep a steady job.
Other than that I could not care less. I pay my own way. | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 9/2/2007 6:00:25 PM | But most men don't have your attitude raveninns. Most men will 'overlook' the financial inabilities of a woman he become enamored with...)... Most women won't do the same - especially not in these years. And - if a woman these days does 'overlook' the lack of financial ability in her man - for a while - she eventually resents it.
... And that is a fact I have observed all my life - time and again.
JoeBob | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 9/2/2007 6:41:33 PM | ^^^lol lol, all I can say is that perhaps everyone should step back and *look* at underlying reasons to be together?
If true equality isn't part of the equation, then what's the point? If someone doesn't value nurturing children as a valid part of a partnership, then you're screwed. If someone doesn't value what it takes to put food on the table, then you're screwed.
Money, to me, doesn't mean equity. But I do live in this world. I've always believed that I should be able to support me and mine.
I just want someone who believes the same thing.
Cheers, Raven | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 9/2/2007 6:42:07 PM | I'm a keen observer as well (message 50), and what I've observed is that the same men always appear in the posts that generalize about how awful women are.
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 9/2/2007 6:45:17 PM | It's not about women being awful. It's about the inequity of the expectations. That point does not get answered. I guess it is not interesting. No problem. I will move on to the next thread and generalize about how awful women are. | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 9/2/2007 8:54:17 PM | 'Same men' - that is because the other men (the 98% of POF men who don't post on the forums) are gutless panderers.
There are lots of good women - I run into them quite frequently where I work - most all are married however - seems to be a connection there... Hmmmmm?
Oh - I am just a bit cynical at times. But cynicism is just an unpleasant way of telling the truth...
There are good women on POF too - I've spent time talking with them. But there just are not enough to go around.
JoeBob | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 9/2/2007 11:46:20 PM | | Well, it's great that you have the gutless panderers in mind when you post, because you want to make sure there are enough good women to go around, but it may be that they are doing just fine without your help. You can probably relax and not feel that it is your duty to represent all men with what you see as the truth - not sure why you think it's so necessary to point out the flaws of women on their behalf. Perhaps I misunderstood you though, and you just wanted to make sure that there were more women for you to pick from and you feel the need to correct as many as possible in order to increase your odds. | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 9/3/2007 12:07:21 AM | | that is a dilemma for older women too..... there are a lot of grifters out there who want an easy mark, and think older women are going to be desperate, lonely, willing to do anything and over look everything to have a man in their life again. we too get questions about if we own our own homes, can you "afford" to take time off for travel, they start conversations that try to flesh out your financial means, if you have recommendations for stocks, mutual funds.... this is not a phenomenon restricted for men..... when i first came on this site, i found the younger men were the ones who were more apt to be on the make for someone like me, so i restricted the age of who could email me....now i totally don't let anyone email me at all....not interested in the caliber of men that show up on these sites. | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 9/3/2007 3:41:39 AM | there are indeed some women out there who appear to be more interested in a guys income than his passion, love and affection.
I have said and always will, (as did the beatles) money cant buy me love
people on a pension (or other low income) are just as capable of loving as a millionaire | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 9/3/2007 4:29:33 AM |
I'm a keen observer as well (message 50), and what I've observed is that the same men always appear in the posts that generalize about how awful women are.
Perhaps those are the gentlemen who are broke & bitter about it. Or some men misbehave & when they can't get a quality woman, or get DUMPED by her, they blame it on HER rather than look at their own behaviors.
I personally will not get involved w/ a man who does not know how to behave at the beginning. He needs to show interest, affection, be groomed, attentive, punctual, etc. Since one puts their best foot forward at the beginning, can you imagine the WORST foot?
We all need to take responsibility for our behaviors. I once had a man call me a "princess" when I told him he was being rude. Sometimes I think the people who complain about $ are the ones who want it themself & are projecting.
There's an old saying: "If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen."
If I don't like the way a man treats me, I leave finito | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 9/3/2007 4:58:50 AM | Yes, that's it. If a man sees things differently, suggest there is something wrong with him and then remind him what he needs to do to win your favor. That is a good way to discuss a topic. | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 9/3/2007 5:24:11 AM | To me and most women I know, it is not the money in itself, it is the security. We want to know we will be able to survive in the long run.
So money is important in that it provides that security. I believe it becomes a money/power issue between men and women if ONE decides to not participate in the overall expense of living.
Like it or not for the most part down through history, women traditionally didn't make the money. For eons, it was the man that provided and the woman took care of the home. These old ideas and values are hard to overcome. We are all still trying to figure this "equality" thing out and it isn't working so well.
I have a problem with a man who wants to come into a relationship and not share the common goal. I will never depend on a man for support. I have mine, thank you. I also have no debt.
There are men as well as women out there who are looking for a free ride. It goes both ways. | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 9/3/2007 5:37:58 AM | | What would and do people say if a man says he wants a steady supply of frequent,high quality sex from an attractive woman who maintains her appearence in a relationship...his character is immediately in question..should it be..maybe,maybe not....are the same standards applied to women who want money.....uh excuse me...security.The bank cards are always available...is the bedroom door always open. | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 9/3/2007 6:20:34 AM | Sure am happy I read this thread, wow, there is a lot of information on where people are at in life.
Let's face it, some want more of 'money', 'sex', 'looks' and perfection. In my experience it is usually the ones who have less of each to share with someone.
Suppose it is all based on experience, perception and attitude mostly. No one is twisting our arms to be with anyone we don't like, respect etc. Personally I always look for balance in all areas of someones character.
BTW have paid $50.00 lunches for someone who came to see me from out of town. It was well worth the cost, found out that he sure wasn't for me. Then there was another in the same circumstances who had the 'savoir faire' to offer to pay the whole thing, we settled on paying each our own. I am still seeing that one.
Very happy I am independent enough to say thanks but no thanks when it is warranted, otherwise I would not be in this dating game.  | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 9/3/2007 6:28:21 AM |
What would and do people say if a man says he wants a steady supply of frequent,high quality sex from an attractive woman who maintains her appearence in a relationship...his character is immediately in question..should it be..maybe,maybe not....are the same standards applied to women who want money.....uh excuse me...security.The bank cards are always available...is the bedroom door always open I'd say he was a very honest man. Most men want that, whether they have $ or not.  | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 9/3/2007 6:42:54 AM | Money, well as you get older, it shows what you have been up to for the last 30 years and may be a predictor of what you will continue to do. At 50 if you have no possessions except the clothes on your back and make under $25K and are not disabled, how good will my finances look when you get your claws into them? I'm not looking for a wealthy man but someone who is my fiscal responsibility equal. As you get older you also know not only what you can't live without, but what you can put up with as well. I have no tolerance for lazy people and sometimes...just sometime broke does mean lazy. So that's my 2 cents. | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 9/3/2007 7:05:16 AM | | To poster #99 That is a big must on my list. I don't want a man for his money. It's the whole thing I'm looking for. But he had better have an income to help with the daily living expenses. | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 9/3/2007 7:47:12 AM | Hitting head on desk here,,,,grrrrrrrrr!!! Why do so many men automatically assume that ALL women only want or are looking, for a man of means?????????? Boy this really gets my goat!
I'm sorry OP if the only women you've met to-date, were ONLY looking for money. Yes there are plenty out there like that, and I will tell you that there are plenty of MEN who look for that also. Just PLEASE don't put all women in the same category.
If a man loves me for the person I am and shows me respect, then I honestly don't give a hoot what his financial status is!!!! Having money does NOT mean a person will be kind, loving, compassionate or decent. Money buys 'things' only. If it's 'things' that mean more to people, then the love of a good and decent person, then I suggest that those people get off their butts, get jobs and earn their own.
We are all creatures looking for comforts. My idea of comfort is a man snuggled up to me while watching a good movie, a bowl of popcorn, while we play footsies | |
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