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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 9/5/2007 12:02:13 AM | | At our ages...we better be able and willing to carry 50% of the financial load....why should one carry more than the other at this stage of the game....that.....THAT would be unrealistic and unfair to either side.....I have absolutly no issues with going "dutch" or covering every second date..... | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 9/5/2007 12:09:37 AM | Now I know I'm probably going to get roasted by all you ladies....
It seems to me that most of you over-value your relationships and marriages based on financial wealth within that relationship. When describing what caused the breakdown of your relationships, it always seems to come back to money, saying things like, he took me to the cleaners, took everything I had etc. etc. But was that the only reason or are you using money as an excuse, is it just men who wreck marriages.
Many of you also base your personal worth/equality on the size of your, or your partners bank account, but have not grasped the basics. Money will not buy you love!
How many of you would be prepared to give away all your money and be penniless in return for a true, deep and meaningful love relationship, one that would last forever?
I know I would because I have proved that money is not worth the paper it's printed on when it comes to true love.
Many of you blame men for being tight with their money on the first date, but don't say why. Did they see something in you that made them exercise caution? I wouldn't expect a woman to pay her share on a first date, but why do you expect a man to do it? Aren't women equal in every way to a man, or only when it suits!
Judging a person by how much money is available is very much like judging a book by its cover, you judge a man by whether he is equal to you financially and most of you make it number one priority. You have to put your needs in the right category. Am I looking for a love relationship or a business arrangement. With most it seems to be the latter.
I think most of you are banging your head against the wall. You'll never find what you're looking for all the time that you put so much emphasis on money in you relationships. If your best friend found true love with a penniless man, would you put her down for it, would you be unkind to her, or would you encourage her and show her kindness and support.
Putting men down for financial reasons is surely ruining your chances of finding what you say you're on this site for, to find true love and happiness. A man with no money, or less than you, doesn't make him a worthless mate, it's no different from you being regarded as worthless to a wealthier man.
Financial status is an obsession of our modern world, but there are still many cultures that value the more simple life. They meet, fall in love, marry and raise families. Ask them and they would probably say. “What's money got to do with it” In your 'civilised' way of life the answer seems to be, “What's love got to do with it”.
I think for some of you ladies, if you had all the money in the world, you'd still have nothing! | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 9/5/2007 5:19:43 AM | The only time I indulge in the double standard is when the monstrous sized lawn needs to be mowed, or my overly long driveway needs to be shovelled.
But then I pay a guy to do this for me. 
It seems to me that certain camps have it in their heads that women want money. And other camps say that no, we want love, money isn't everything. No - one seems to be listening!!
Does it matter??? Water always finds its own level.
Cheers to all, Raven | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 9/5/2007 7:09:59 AM | How many of you would be prepared to give away all your money and be penniless in return for a true, deep and meaningful love relationship, one that would last forever?
When my x wife left me and took everything but my clothes (except for 2 $1000.00 suits), she was surprised that I readily agreed to a divorce and let her have everything. I was hospitalized 4 years after she left and became a ward of the state because I was not quite conscious.
At the masters hearing, I stated that I didn't care about the money and the state's lawyer said that's why I shouldn't be making decisions for myself. He told the court of how she ran up utility bills in my name without my knowledge to the tune of $17.000.00 and she had to pay that and she had to pay for my hospitalization up to the point of divorce (about 2 years).
The master told her that if I was a dog and she abandoned it she'd spend time in jail. She and her lawyer exclaimed that I was fooling everybody and just lazy. The master showed them my blood chemistry and asked how could I fake a lack of specific chemicals....
After 4 years in the hospital, I got a great job and started seeing a woman that had a lot of money. We moved in togeether and after a couple of years, she started to wonder where i had hidden all my money as she could not believe a person with my level of income didn't have a bunch stashed away. Of course since I'm male I must be lying so she didn't believe I had none.
I discovered some fraud where I worked and after reporting it, was subject to a rash of retaliation. I saw my Dr. who sent them a note explaining how their treatment of me was unhealthy but they continued and eventually terminated me unfairly.
I had a lawyer get me a year's salary and pay for stress related problems it caused me but it took 6 months of no income and lots of therapy to deal with it all and when time came for me to collect, The GF handed me a bill for her services (room and board) that would have left me broke. We had a domestic partnership agreement (saving her $600.00 a month on insurance premiums) and when I reminded her I was a partner, not a tenant, and reminded her of the cars and all the furniture I put in the house.
She attacked me and I left. I tried to negotiate a reconciliation but she wanted to justify the attack because she thought I disrespected her. I told her I would not accept any situation where violence is justified.
She kept it all, and I didn't go back. She wanted to use my furniture, recording studio, computers, everything as a tool to have me return, pay off my so called rent and even got a lawyer. I explained to her lawyer that I would gladly loose the suit so the insurance company would have proof her agreement to be domestic partners was fraudulent and they could charge for all the medical benefits she got durinng the fraudulent relationship.
I got my settlement and bought a car, recording studio, a computer network and stuff top build a call center and lived in a room for a year while I studied the technology.
I met a beautiful woman who likes me for who I am and I'm sure it's not because of my money.
Now I have a $50,000.00 call center I can sell...
Yea, you can
find a girl that holds life in a paper cup
Drinks it up
love her and she'll bring you luck
....Loggins & Messina
For me it comes down to ...
If there is a requirement for money or a level of income before you can feel comfortable with someone to relate with and your looking for sex (even the kind that comes with so called "love") your exchanging money for sex. | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 9/5/2007 8:57:47 AM | | It's not how much money a man has (or makes) that's important. It's what he does with it. Does he spend every dime he's got? Does he invest in the future? Is he generous, but not to a fault? I think the way a man manages his money says a lot about who he is. But this is not something I normally ask about early on when talking to someone. | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 9/5/2007 9:09:16 AM | I do know one thing, and that's if early conversation with someone started veering along the line of my wages, what I now earn, what I've accumulated and what my prognosis is for the future, that my conversation with her would quickly be full of those difficult pauses. It's just not something I discuss, even with my closest of friends. I have what I need to live at a level that makes me happy. I have reserves and intellect to make more should I feel the need to do so. And I find it very strange that for so many women who (apparently) are focussed on a man's earnings (in whatever capacity) that I have yet to meet any of them on this website. Yes, I know the profile of the stereotype just as well as anyone on here, but I just don't see the real life examples of such a woman. I find that very odd, indeed.
cdn guy | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 9/5/2007 9:10:54 AM | For myself, money isn't really an issue, I don't care if he worked at McDonalds, as long as he was happy at it, and did his job the best he could. I make my own money, own my own house, run up and pay my own bills. If I want new clothes or jewellry, I treat myself, don't need or want a man to buy me things. A relationship where one gives and the other takes, doesn't work...... been there,done that..... he got spoiled...... I got dumped! Naturally a good job is necessary, for both to go out and do things together, and I have no problem doing the paying, just not all the time.But there are a lot of quality things to do together, that don't take much if any money. It's the time spent together, and not the cost. At least it should be. If you have to buy somebody's affection with material gifts, then there isn't a honest relationship. I would rather be single, than have to buy a man. Anybody know how much these little suckers cost?  | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 9/5/2007 9:22:10 AM | ^^^^ Apologies if I appear to be singling you out, Ms. Bornnice (msg 162), but I think your post is the perfect example of what the prevailing attitude is amongst women of today. Yes, the old stereotype of a woman wanting a man of 'overly-abundant means' still exists, but these people are rapidly becoming a dying breed. And for any that wish to prove that this stereotype still exists, it would be wise if they did it soon, as this type of archaic thinking will soon be just a point in history, going much the same way as all the other gender inequalities have gone.
cdn guy | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 9/5/2007 9:33:58 AM | | The way I see it, history and people change and evolve, if we don't......well,look at the dinosaurs . Seen any lately? Women have come a long way,and it took a long time to get here. We are no longer considered the weaker sex, at least here in the "civilized" countries. If women want to be considered equal, then we have to accept all the things that go with it, job equality, responsibilities, financial or otherwise. When i got divorced, my lawyer laughed at what he was offering, but I walked away with what I thought I was worth, and after twenty three and a half years of military marriage, it was enough for me to start over, comfortably. How many women walk away,or get left behind, having to start over, some with kids, with absolutely nothing? My wages aren't that great, but it's enough for me to live comfortably,and why should I think I have to expect my man to support me? On the flip side, I don't want to support him either. I work for my money, he does too, and any cost sharing, would be decided as a mutual decision. And when I find one,I will tell him that!! | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 9/16/2007 6:06:13 PM | This is a case of "this is what I think of women and this is what I hear them saying"...
I didn't go back and count, Slow...but I didn't read where all these women are validating your seeming opinion that all women want the income more than the man.
Go back through your thread and COUNT how women said they want a man that makes more money than them and pay for their company.
I have talked to many men on line. I have never asked them what their income is. Both jobs have come up in the conversations. One wanted to know the value of my home. I have been approached by a clerk at the Pharmacy of a Walmart...that was not the "deal breaker"...he just couldn't carry on a conversation.
As to the millionaires out there. I'm on another dating site where the man bragged about his income and that he didn't care about the lady's income. I just couldn't go there. I felt like he was advertising for a nanny with benefits.
I feel you will continue to attract the Purse Huntress' as you haven't really been listening.
"Looking for like-minded, kind soul who knows how to love me".
Peace Out, Silly. | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 9/16/2007 7:07:57 PM | I make a very modest income as a secretary, and will have a rather limited lifestyle in retirement, if I live that long.
I am not looking for a wealthy man to support me. It's just absolutely essential that I don't end up with someone that I will end up supporting. I think I barely have enough to take care of one, let alone two.
On the other hand, I am very well educated (yes, a paradox) so I am frequently attracted to professional men. It's not because of the income, though, it's because of topics of conversation, cultural interests, and so on. | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 9/17/2007 8:27:28 AM | | I still get email from yahoo personals. The last one I got the guy wanted 75k at least from his potential dates. When I first opened an account with match I searched the female profiles just to check the competion and I was surprised at how many with nothing to offer asked for 150k. I just don't want to support anyone, nor do I need to be supported. | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 9/17/2007 8:55:15 AM | | i think everyone needs to bring something to the relationship. being financially stable should be a part of everyone requirements man or woman. | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 9/17/2007 8:36:48 PM | I finally divorced the jerk I was married to for 11 years. The first hint I had that he was a jerk was the day we got back from our honeymoon. He quit his job and never worked a single day after that. I wouldn't have minded as much being the only one bringing home the bacon if he had done more than just sit around eating the bacon while watching tv! No help with housework, no yardwork, no anything except abuse.
I don't care how much money a man I date makes as long as he works. Not everyone has a 401k or a new car. I just want him to make his own way, just as I do. Don't get me wrong, I would love to marry a rich man. Who wouldn't? But love is the key word in that sentence. What good is a lot of money if love isn't there, too? If I ever fall in love again, a sweet hard working guy with grease under his nails at the end of the day would be fine with me if he loves me and treats me as well as I would treat him.
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 9/18/2007 4:37:19 PM | | Slowhandbunny, I don't know what ladies you have been talking to or taking out, but I am so sorry that they all seem to want your money. I think money is the least important thing in a relationship. Maybe because I have my own. I really don't care what a man's bank book looks like or his wallet. I care about what is in the heart and soul of a person. That's all that REALLY matters in this life! Good luck to you and I hope you meet some women that care for YOU and not your bank account someday! | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 9/18/2007 5:40:14 PM | I have noticed that many women make the exact same statements on their profiles.
One in particular is Family is very important to me.
One of the first things that I state about myself is that I am seeking employment, but that for quite a while, I have also been the sole full-time caregiver for my stepfather and until her death, my mother. (In the meantime, I have had several very well paying temporary part-time jobs.) However, my stepfather's dependency on me is now almost 100%.
It is amazing how fast the family=important ladies kiss me off once they find out. | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 9/18/2007 6:36:28 PM |
I have noticed that many women make the exact same statements on their profiles.
One in particular is Family is very important to me.
One of the first things that I state about myself is that I am seeking employment, but that for quite a while, I have also been the sole full-time caregiver for my stepfather and until her death, my mother. (In the meantime, I have had several very well paying temporary part-time jobs.) However, my stepfather's dependency on me is now almost 100%.
It is amazing how fast the family=important ladies kiss me off once they find out.
...Well thats because their probably talking about "their" family. My own children are all over the age of 18, but I am a foster parent and have a 12 year old and a 16 year old at home.....talk about men running for the hills haha
maeflowers | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 9/18/2007 6:41:23 PM | halfnorge, I find more people are in the same situation. Remeber, all the hard work and devotion you are doing will pay off in the end.
To answer the question, I personally don't care how big the paycheck is, how big the bank account is. I have seen those who had the money and they themselves wasted it away. So how can anyone put that much importance on the dollar? I have been with men that have had money. Some nice, some not so nice. I have been with the average Joe. Some nice, some not so nice. I will take nice anyday of the week. I pay my bills, can you? I am planning on going back to school in January. I just want more for me and my future and would rather do it myself. I want to be with someone out of a good choice, not because I NEED them. Needy is unattractive.
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 9/18/2007 7:19:03 PM | | Is money important ...? It's like oxygen, ..you don't really miss it till you don't have any. A JOB is important. Being self-sufficient is important. Because of the money? no but because it's an important quality in a person. They can take care of themselves!, | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 9/18/2007 11:12:27 PM | That's one of my concerns about starting a relationship in another town/city . . .
I'd be Happy to relocate . . If I had a job reference to start with . . !!! | |
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| Is money really that important ladies?
Posted: 9/19/2007 10:50:13 AM | This is a very good question. "Is money really that important?"
I'd have to say, Yes and No. Money can never buy "Love". I would never be married to someone that I did not love.
However, I am not willing to support a man that cannot hold down a job or is in so much debt that he is constantly struggling to make ends meet because he has maxed out his credit cards or is on the verge of bankruptcy.
In the same token, I don't expect a man to support me or pay for any of my bills either. | |
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