| Rule: Sex by Date #___ or no more dates
Posted: 9/1/2007 10:05:08 AM | Puppy Love, No offense but I think your rule sucks. dog doo.
How can you put a time limit on something like that. If I knew about your rule it would be a deal breaker for me I wouldn't go out with you.
I also think maybe you should be a little bit more picky who you go out withMaybe if you try a more direct and honest approach, instead of the hidden dating sex rule. You might get better results | |
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| Rule: Sex by Date #___ or no more dates
Posted: 9/1/2007 10:13:23 AM | I do not agree with the OP. I will say this though. Many women have hangups they bring from past relationships and I will not tolerate that crap. I will treat ladies with respect but if I see no progression of emotion meaning from holding hands to kissing to deep kissing to petting etc. within a reasonable time frame than I will also cut ties. I believe that the dating stage should be a flow , now the time frame could vary but there must be the flow to the promised land  | |
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| Rule: Sex by Date #___ or no more dates
Posted: 9/1/2007 10:32:25 AM | | The fact that you even have a rule, tells me that you only ask women out that particular number of times, to get to the sex part of it...so I gotta ask...just which one of you really IS the gap filler here? You go INTO the dating relationship with the mindset that it's not gonna last past date #_____if she doesn't put out, so you've already set her up for failure. | |
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| Rule: Sex by Date #___ or no more dates
Posted: 9/1/2007 10:35:44 AM | | If anyone told me that they had a rule that I must sleep with then by x date I would not ever bother to make it to date number #1 or what ever nuber was next | |
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| Rule: Sex by Date #___ or no more dates
Posted: 9/1/2007 10:42:16 AM | | Judging by this and your prenup thread, it seems like you either aren't willing to put in the time and effort to get to actually know a woman (and thus her intentions), or you don't have faith in your ability to do so. My advice, dump the arbitrary rules and don't get married again until this mindset changes. And yes, that does mean taking a risk. You can think you're sure and have it still go wrong. It happens to a lot of smart well-meaning people. But you still have to be "all in" next time, too, if it's to have much of a chance. | |
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| Rule: Sex by Date #___ or no more dates
Posted: 9/1/2007 11:54:26 AM | | I am actually going to defend the OP. I have mentioned I do not agree with the set date thing. The fact is though many women use sex or withholding sex as a powerplay thing. I truly believe if there is that sexually connection than there is nothing wrong with it. I understand where the OP is coming from. We are all adults and he just does not want any part of 'games'.... games are for children. If the ladies have these hangups about sex for whatever reasons , its not for her BF to play psychologist to work her thru it. Perhaps anyone male or female that have issues with the opposite gender or even the same gender if they are gay , should work out these issues before entering into a relationship or attempting to enter into a relationship. | |
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| Rule: Sex by Date #___ or no more dates
Posted: 9/1/2007 11:56:20 AM | | rather sad you have a rule such as this what if you feel a connection with the girl you still going to dump her ? you might be missing out on ms right just because of your silly rule | |
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| Rule: Sex by Date #___ or no more dates
Posted: 9/1/2007 12:58:58 PM | | Putting any rules - restrictions - on dating will only hold you back from finding the one who could very well turn out to be your perfect mate. As well if you tell someone you have a rule - that would be a huge turn off! | |
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| Rule: Sex by Date #___ or no more dates
Posted: 9/1/2007 1:47:08 PM | The other posters have made many good points.
Personally I thinky you should toss the rule our, do some soul searching, and figure out how to come across more genuinely to women.
I think there are two possibilities:
- could you be acting like a doormat; letting her walk all over you, then you resent her for doing it?
- or could it be that you are sending mixed messages that you like her, but don't trust her. That might make her wonder "I like this guy, but there is something non-committal about him. I'm not really sure how I feel about him".
Maybe you could examine your own outlook and interactive style with the ladies. Find your genuine self. And maybe be more selective about who you date.
Personally, I would date if I had interest or attraction for the man; for love, or the promise of love, but never for a free dinner or movie. I'd rather sit at home and twiddle my thumbs than date a man I didn't like. | |
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| Rule: Sex by Date #___ or no more dates
Posted: 9/1/2007 1:59:54 PM | | I have a feeling, after reading this thread and the prenup thread, that women are not having sex with this guy because he's doing something attitude-wise to turn them off. The very fact that this thread exists suggests to me that there's more to it than just "I don't know how I feel about you." So he's trying to get laid as fast as he can, before they figure him out, and cut and run. | |
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| Rule: Sex by Date #___ or no more dates
Posted: 9/1/2007 2:37:40 PM | Beachchick says:
I have a feeling, after reading this thread and the prenup thread, that women are not having sex with this guy because he's doing something attitude-wise to turn them off. The very fact that this thread exists suggests to me that there's more to it than just "I don't know how I feel about you." So he's trying to get laid as fast as he can, before they figure him out, and cut and run.
Bingo! | |
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| Rule: Sex by Date #___ or no more dates
Posted: 9/2/2007 8:08:36 PM |
DAVIANE: ...if you like each other enough, she will jump on your bones!!
That is the point of the rule! Making sure she likes me. | |
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| Rule: Sex by Date #___ or no more dates
Posted: 9/2/2007 8:11:42 PM |
SUNSPOTS57: You go INTO the dating relationship with the mindset that it's not gonna last past date #_____if she doesn't put out, so you've already set her up for failure.
Depends on how you look at it...is the glass half full or half empty? A woman who does not know what she wants is setup for failure. A woman who knows she wants me is setup for success.
Puppy Love | |
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| Rule: Sex by Date #___ or no more dates
Posted: 9/2/2007 8:46:38 PM | | 1 st date and if she cannot handle it- let her speak her mind see what she says and then if you don;t feel right kick her to the curb. LOL although you DO have to learn to be a little flexible:) | |
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| Rule: Sex by Date #___ or no more dates
Posted: 9/3/2007 7:31:09 PM |
SASSYSUE71: I guess I am sad that you have had such bad experiences with women that you feel that you need this rule!!
Sadly, you have reached the heart of the matter. But it helps to think that I run into bad apples because they are constantly in circulation because nobody wants to keep them.
Puppy Love | |
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| Rule: Sex by Date #___ or no more dates
Posted: 9/3/2007 10:40:39 PM | Oooooohh, man! I thought this was a misplaced humor thread.
Are you serious? Rules...so constricting. Every woman, every relationship, is a work of art...to be appreciated in every detail. No two are the same.
Tired of being a 'gap filler'? Only thing you CAN do is to examine yourself and determine to change what you need to become that 'someone better'. Every step you take in that direction will boost your self-confidence, and THAT is what most ladies find attractive.
Good luck with that...
John | |
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| Rule: Sex by Date #___ or no more dates
Posted: 9/3/2007 10:50:45 PM | No, you shouldn't tell anyone that rule.
That is your own personal mandate. No one needs to know it. That way, you can alter the rule person to person...and you should. People's comfort levels are different for everyone. So keep the rule a loose one in your mind...BUT KEEP IT.
Sex is an important part of a relationship and if you keep getting the "nice guy" shaft...then playing the hard role and telling a girl to pack it in b/c you aren't getting any is perfectly legit...no matter what ANYONE says on here. | |
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| Rule: Sex by Date #___ or no more dates
Posted: 9/3/2007 11:13:30 PM |
I am actually going to defend the OP. I have mentioned I do not agree with the set date thing. The fact is though many women use sex or withholding sex as a powerplay thing.
I think it's only appropriate that you guys that feel as you do (that women withhold/use sex) should set a rule such as the OP's. I mean it makes perfect sense. She's not giving in so ~ damn it ~ make a rule that she has to or your outta there.  Let us know how that works for ya' all. 
Oooooohh, man! I thought this was a misplaced humor thread.
It isn't?????????????????  | |
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| Rule: Sex by Date #___ or no more dates
Posted: 9/4/2007 12:45:23 AM | | I wouldn't say anything. The reason being is, you seem to believe they have rules for dating you, so why can't you have rules for dating them? | |
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| Rule: Sex by Date #___ or no more dates
Posted: 9/4/2007 8:43:31 AM |
The fact is, dating...for men... is very expensive .
If I go on a date and I realize this is going nowhere I offer to pay half the check or at least get the tip. I don't want to ever feel like I owe anyone anything, and I'm worth more than dinner.
I have friends who get very angry at me when they see me buy men drinks in clubs, but I feel the same way, if you buy me a drink and I know I'm not going to go out with you, I'll buy you a drink back to even up the score right then and there.
As for the original question: don't tell them, it really makes you look very immature. | |
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