| HOME COOKED MEALS AND MOVIES FOR A FIRST DATE?
Posted: 4/12/2009 8:15:52 PM |
If this is a first date- They are cheap and just want to get you into bed....be thankful they don't want to meet!
Exactly.
This is disrespectful as well as tacky. It's also extremely unwise to invite someone you don't know well into your home immediately. I don't even want to think about a woman allowing this if she has children; that just doesn't bear even thinking about, it's so stupid. | |
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| HOME COOKED MEALS AND MOVIES FOR A FIRST DATE?
Posted: 4/13/2009 2:35:29 AM | | I'd rather cook a meal at home for a first date, it's easier to hit them over the head with a shovel at home and closer to the burial pit in my back yard... err I mean... because I can cook dishes that are ten times better than any of the nearby restaurants for a fraction of the cost. | |
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| HOME COOKED MEALS AND MOVIES FOR A FIRST DATE?
Posted: 4/13/2009 8:30:02 AM | I agree with Verygreenez. There are many strangers that we let into our homes for a variety of reasons throughout our lifetime. I think what scares many of us as women when this is brought to the dating scene is that we secretly fear that men are this allowed to expect certain things of us and that we, in turn, are labelling ourselves as obligated to meet those expectations. That is just not so.
Would I let a guy come to my home for dinner and a movie as a first date? Sure. I live with my parents, two younger brothers (22 and 23) and two very yippy dogs. Also, my grandparents live next-door in their granny suite. In fact, my family actually prefers to have any potential "date" come here before they are able to take me anywhere out in the big bad world. The big reason for that is because I do not drive and I have vision issues and cerebral palsy. If a guy seems totally clueless with my family around, he *won't* get to take me somewhere without them. And that is *my* rule; not my parents.
My current boyfriend lives in Pennsylvania and drove 7.5 hours to come here and see me for what was initially suppose to be a three day weekend. Now, we *did* end up going out for an actual date but our first evening together was spent watching a movie, eating subs from SubWay and then baking a cake together. We also had a tea with my grandparents and my parents visited with us a bit as well. I am sure there are some people who would look at that and go "Ewwww!" and I am sure there are some who would think I was crazy to let him near my home. But he did turn out to be exactly who had claimed to be (which is why this all worked so well) and if he did not then there were a LOT of people here that could have done something about it.
Now... For a woman living alone? I can see being afraid and cautious (especially if there is no son to come for a surprise visit-really-meant-to-lurk-around, lol) The world can be a very dangerous place and you have to have your wits about you. But I guess it all boils down to the individuals in question. I would ultimately say (contrasting all I have said) if your gut is giving you a bad feeling about someone being in your home then don't do that. Listening to your instincts *is* important. But if you *do* feel comfortable and safe (my guy and I were friends for nearly 3 years, talked 99% via voice that entire time, and had met via friends we knew irl) then (yet again) listen to what your heart / gut / whatever is telling you. | |
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| HOME COOKED MEALS AND MOVIES FOR A FIRST DATE?
Posted: 4/13/2009 4:34:07 PM | I agree with the second poster. If a man gets upset because you won't do that on a first date that's a red flag to me!
This is something that would naturally happen once I'm dating someone and they've been to my house and we are both comfortable. | |
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| HOME COOKED MEALS AND MOVIES FOR A FIRST DATE?
Posted: 4/13/2009 4:38:04 PM | I mean come on.. we are all adults here I believe....
Whats wrong with dinner & a movie in ? If you are comfy enough to do so
Pick a good movie & fix a tasty dish & voila!!!
A night set at your own pace... you can pause , rewind & fast forward.... You can talk w/o worrying about other people being rude or whatever else ....
Whatever floats your boat | |
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| HOME COOKED MEALS AND MOVIES FOR A FIRST DATE?
Posted: 5/18/2009 8:23:20 PM | I think the premise of the home cooked meal on a first date is borne out of people meeting via someone else because back in the good old days, that's how you hooked up with people, right?
These days, you meet a random person online who could be ANYBODY really so you HAVE to be careful. You have to be!!! It's different if it was a friend of a friend or the date has already had a sanity check by someone close to you but with the internet??? Too many variables. Who's to say the guy is a lunatic?
As mum always says, better safe than sorry...or dead! | |
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| HOME COOKED MEALS AND MOVIES FOR A FIRST DATE?
Posted: 5/18/2009 9:21:52 PM | I agree with you Jrsygrlinva69.
You start on neutral grounds, in a public place. Putting aside the security point and Jack-the-Ripper scenario, a man would be much more inclined if invited over to make a move. The first contacts are purely social. It's not only mores, but also a necessity.
Home cooked meals are great. It's really nice. But that's another step, a higher gradient. Its more intimate.
Some would be very comfortable with this, I personally wouldn't. | |
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| HOME COOKED MEALS AND MOVIES FOR A FIRST DATE?
Posted: 5/18/2009 10:02:45 PM | | i don't see to much wrong with that. Other then the fact that if you end up hateing this person you may not want them to know where you live. So if any guy really doesnt understand that maybe your better off not being around him. I would love to go over and eat at a girls home but i understand that i can keep my crazy to myself and not others. If they don't like me be honest i won't bother you. Plain and simple with me. But you never do know who comes knocking at your door. So i can understand to offer but nobody should take offence if it's declined. | |
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| HOME COOKED MEALS AND MOVIES FOR A FIRST DATE?
Posted: 5/19/2009 3:16:22 PM | I don't understand why people don't have more common sense. The home-cooked meal is something that can happen down-the-road from the first date. The intentions can be perfectly innocent, but anyone interested in providing a supportive environment for a potential date or future relationship really should not suggest this. I am always shocked at the number of men that ask me to come to their place for dinner, or worse, ask to be invited to my place at 1 in the morning. Apparently, men don't care about the potential for the woman to set them up for a crime at 1 am either. If I'm a bad judge of character, maybe the perp can be ID'd after they find my body in a dumpster.......
Go with your instincts, be safe, and don't put yourself in potential danger. Anyone worth relating to will understand this.......If they do not, do not meet them under any circumstances.....
Namaste........ | |
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| HOME COOKED MEALS AND MOVIES FOR A FIRST DATE?
Posted: 5/19/2009 6:27:51 PM | | Not happening no way it is not safe this is a total stranger someone can tell you anything you want to hear on the net. You have to screen someone in a public place first . | |
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| HOME COOKED MEALS AND MOVIES FOR A FIRST DATE?
Posted: 5/19/2009 11:21:23 PM | save the "home cooked meals" for the 5th or 6th date.
If he is a good guy he will understand our fear and want to allay it. Otherwise he is a pushy manipulative SOB, with other alternatives.
oh, I'm a female, I broke the OP rule. | |
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| HOME COOKED MEALS AND MOVIES FOR A FIRST DATE?
Posted: 6/15/2009 11:43:57 PM | It is very simple.
movie - $22.00 for 2
dinner - $40.00 for 2
dancing - $20.00 - cover for 2
drinks - $30.00 for 2 (only if you dont drink much.)
so thats $122.00 if you dont go dutch. and around $60.00 ish if you go dutch, and if there is no second date (as often happens) then thats $60.00 - $122.00 that you have wasted and will never see again.
and its not about sex but about not wanting to WASTE money on someone not into you.
Now if down the road we are an item and she is a kind person I would be happy to blow cash on her. | |
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| HOME COOKED MEALS AND MOVIES FOR A FIRST DATE?
Posted: 6/15/2009 11:58:11 PM | | it seems from the thread and the replies that guys who invite women for a dinner and/or movie to their place are the bad guys and they are not fit to be called men etc etc....BUT hey has anyone thought what if a woman asks a man for a home cooked meal and/or movie to her place!?! in such a situation then will the same negative stereotype hold true for such women as is being said for men? | |
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| HOME COOKED MEALS AND MOVIES FOR A FIRST DATE?
Posted: 6/15/2009 11:59:41 PM | mortalez, as many others have already cited, it doesn't have to be all that fancy stuff for a first meeting, it can be just a simple cup of coffee.
and as Forums001 said: "save the "home cooked meals" for the 5th or 6th date.
If he is a good guy he will understand our fear and want to allay it. Otherwise he is a pushy manipulative SOB, with other alternatives. " | |
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| HOME COOKED MEALS AND MOVIES FOR A FIRST DATE?
Posted: 6/16/2009 12:04:17 AM | | Well it's a lot less common for women to rape and/or murder strange men, so probably why the discomfort for a woman to go to a strange man's house. As to why a woman would invite a complete stranger male to her house, I have no idea. | |
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| HOME COOKED MEALS AND MOVIES FOR A FIRST DATE?
Posted: 6/16/2009 12:04:35 AM | | liveluvlife, well it's a lot less common for women to rape and/or murder strange men, so probably why the discomfort for a woman to go to a strange man's house. As to why a woman would invite a complete stranger male to her house, I have no idea. | |
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| HOME COOKED MEALS AND MOVIES FOR A FIRST DATE?
Posted: 6/16/2009 12:12:29 AM | | stephanie, sad that you are stereotyping men as murderes, rapists, etc etc...all negative. Think, what you think and portay men as in a negative light, so do other women think the same about your brothers, male relatives and father too!! You see it works both ways. | |
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| HOME COOKED MEALS AND MOVIES FOR A FIRST DATE?
Posted: 6/16/2009 12:35:23 AM |
mortalez, as many others have already cited, it doesn't have to be all that fancy stuff for a first meeting, it can be just a simple cup of coffee.
and as Forums001 said: "save the "home cooked meals" for the 5th or 6th date.
If he is a good guy he will understand our fear and want to allay it. Otherwise he is a pushy manipulative SOB, with other alternatives. "
coffee is expensive too, and i did meet a woman from pof at starbucks not long ago and though we seemed to hit it off and had a good convo I have not gotten but one call since then so that was a waste of 5 bucks + gas. and after a week of not hearing from her I get this in my inbox.
It's been a while since I heard from you, so I just wanted to say HI! Hope you're doing well .
Did you have a good week?
(mine was crazy - 60= hrs again. . . :( ).
Mind you I called a couple of times a day for 3 days before I gave up with no answer.
Geez I feel like a chump for wasting my time. | |
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| HOME COOKED MEALS AND MOVIES FOR A FIRST DATE?
Posted: 6/16/2009 7:25:52 AM | | I would never-ever go to another person's house or allow them to come to mine as a first date - unless it was someone I'd known for awhile in real life. I recently had to change my phone number because of some freak I met through another site. I can't imagine how bad it would be if he knew where I lived. | |
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| HOME COOKED MEALS AND MOVIES FOR A FIRST DATE?
Posted: 6/16/2009 7:29:51 AM | Im just curious to have male feed back on this topic.. I have dated for a few years off sights such as this one and after reading many profiles I am curious to why men think a woman would welcome a stranger into her home or meet them on their turf so to speak in their home to have watch a movie and cook a meal together and/or order take out? I would also like to know why when a woman says NO to this suggestion why is it a rejection or a sign of disrespect to a man? I have had numerous men not want to meet me after I said NO to the above.
ZULU KING: Quite the contrary for me, I've been fortunate in that, women have found my delivery,safe honest and comfortable enough to want to relax at my home...And I honor my word......... Of course I also have the luxury of having things to do Outdoors such as Pool, Gucuzzi , Tennis etc....Besides before agreeing to the date, I've promised dinner that I would cook for them...So they hold me to it I suppose is why they visit.......(smile)
Do men truly not realize tht it is a safety thing for women? Should it not also be for a man? Im sure Jack the Ripper would have had many more victims if the internet was around back then.
ZULU KING: I see your point, and it's a very good one, and a real fear in todays world...surely. But a real person (Men) wouldn't attempt any thing stupid.......period And those they have other agendas,should realize that if he were to attempt anything out of the norm....Their information is all over this site..and if the woman is smart ,she too would leave her whereabouts with family members..even suggest that they call his home.....(I've recommended it to my visitors) Ironically enough some have declined the offer to include memebers of their family in her date......
Let's face it, we're all looking for excitement something new and todays technology allows this.....The intriuge alone causes on to take these risk......Hell, men have a fear factor involved too..........We wonder and even pray, that a woman isn't a crazy, or is one that loves to claim somethings happened when it hasn't after the fact........(All Imo)
Good post Jersey Girl....... | |
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| HOME COOKED MEALS AND MOVIES FOR A FIRST DATE?
Posted: 6/16/2009 8:04:33 AM | Of course men know on a first date that meeting anywhere other than a public place is a safety issue for women, but they disregard this notion for some or all of the following reasons:
1. They want to check out your place: Do you live in a nice house/apartment by yourself or share? Matters to them sooner or later in the relationship ;)
2. They are too cheap to properly date you: Condition you early to have dates "at home"; this saves them time and money.
3. They know they're not your type vice versa but want a chance to get it on with you before getting rejected. Counting on that you'll let your guard down as you are in your own home, as opposed to theirs.
4. They are afraid to be seen in public with you. Maybe you're not their type or they already have a gf/wife.
5. They're psycho. You got a number fan. | |
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