| DO YOU DREAM ABOUT YOUR EX?
Posted: 9/11/2009 3:08:14 PM | Flowerforce is right.
All dream characters are representing a part of our inner self according to Jung.
In the sense that the other person from the past in the dream can never respond in kind- it IS a dead end.
Trying to cut out daytime memories can be counterproductive- maybe dreaming is a safe way of grieving in the deeper part of ourselves that is always lost.
If we don't maintain some vulnerabilty- don't we risk becoming too 'hard boiled'? | |
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| DO YOU DREAM ABOUT YOUR EX?
Posted: 9/11/2009 7:32:45 PM | I was with my ex for 14 years and have now been on my own for 4.
Every once in a while he invades my dreams but it's mostly because his checkbook is overdrawn and he can't manage his money and needs someone to bail him out.
Haven't "heard" from him lately and quite frankly I don't want to, so I'll just assume no dreams of him are good dreams! | |
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| DO YOU DREAM ABOUT YOUR EX?
Posted: 9/11/2009 8:09:18 PM | I dream about a guy I used to like.
It's natural. When you feel lonely, your mind brings up the last person you had interest in. Even if the person is different than she/he is in your imagination.
Time will heal you, but when you're ready, you will have to make the conscious effort to find and be happy with someone new. | |
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| DO YOU DREAM ABOUT YOUR EX?
Posted: 9/13/2009 7:50:03 AM | | You were married. That's a huge committment that obviously went the wrong way. You bonded with this person. You were intimate. You made promises in which you placed your faith. It's natural to take time to get over something like this. I still dream about my ex from time to time and it's been over 3 years. The thing is they are more forgetable now than they were (and far more infrequent). There's NOTHING wrong with needing some healing time after a failed marriage. It makes you neither weak nor weird; it makes you human. Hang in there. Learn from your mistakes and make better choices in the future. It will always be with you to some degree, but it does get much much easier with time. | |
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| DO YOU DREAM ABOUT YOUR EX?
Posted: 9/14/2009 8:19:23 PM | | i used to be married before so i know the road your going down i lived it i experence it as thay would say diskis the limmit so i know how it feels to dream about your ex and take my addvice dont really drink talk to your close freinds go out to clubs and meet afew weman and those dreams will graduley go aways becuase the more you dream about it the more it drives you crazy so ask your self is it worth the trip???????????????? | |
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| DO YOU DREAM ABOUT YOUR EX?
Posted: 9/15/2009 3:25:57 AM |
You will need to replace the obsessive thoughts with new ones. It takes going out in the world and finding something new to be interested in. Otherwise every day is a shrine to heartache, adn your life goes by as a never ending funeral. Rituals help us move on, but there is none for the end of the relationship. Some poeple have divorce parties. Others just find someone new, or dive into their work, or anything else that will occupy their mind for a while. It is as easy as doing it once you decide to. If not, then live on as a walking case of regret and sadness, a ghost among the living.
Excellent post. "A shrine to heartache" absolutely and when we make one person the centre of our world it's a small world indeed. | |
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| DO YOU DREAM ABOUT YOUR EX?
Posted: 9/15/2009 7:57:35 PM | | The only dreams I have about either ex were always nightmares where I woke up shaking and in a cold sweat. Thank God they were just bad dreams and these monsters are no longer in my life. | |
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| DO YOU DREAM ABOUT YOUR EX?
Posted: 9/16/2009 8:51:01 AM | | Sadly enough I do! It has been 4 years and it happens maybe a few times a month. Always leaves me feeling drained the next day too. For me I think I have them due to not feeling the relationship ended with enough closure. Were together for 5 years, married...then over. Have had zero personal contact with him other than civil stuff for the kids. I dream of us breaking up again and again. Or us reconciling. Sometimes a sex dream will throw itself out there but that's not a dream, it's a nightmare hahaha. No one wants to dream about crap like that. | |
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| DO YOU DREAM ABOUT YOUR EX?
Posted: 9/16/2009 1:45:26 PM | I had a dream last night about the last man I dated. He was kissing me, the way he always did, the way I hadn't been kissed in a very long time. I woke up this morning thinking about him, all the way in on the train. When I had arrived at the office there was an email from him for the first time since we stopped seeing each other, just about a month about ago.
It was a good dream and a nice email. | |
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| DO YOU DREAM ABOUT YOUR EX?
Posted: 9/16/2009 3:37:36 PM | I have nightmares about mine then wake up and realize their history and sooooooooooooooooooooo glad to be rid of them.   | |
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| DO YOU DREAM ABOUT YOUR EX?
Posted: 9/16/2009 7:44:55 PM | If we don't "consciously" resolve our issues and unresolved baggage with past relationships our minds will deal with them "unconsciously."
Decide which state you want to get closure in.
The dreamstate does it much slower. | |
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| DO YOU DREAM ABOUT YOUR EX?
Posted: 9/17/2009 10:14:07 AM | Why does everyone feel the need to put a scientific analisis on love? Science is evil. Science is why people do not dream anymore. Even scientists can't put analisis on love. The say pain is develloped in a particular area of the brain. Why then is it that the pain you feel does not overtake your brain, you feel it burning inside your chest? People just don't believe anymore.
Through centuries of time past love was guided by that burning in the chest. Those who loved eachother would die to save the other through war and discovery there was still loyalty and dreams. A man would scale a wall and bring his lady flowers to demonstrate the passion of his desire for her. A woman may have sang a sweet song or danced an exotic dance to allure her lovers mind.
We live in modern times you may say. People just don't talk like that anymore. But maybe they should. Everyone wants love but they do not know how to love. I feel sorry for you all who have love and lost. It is a hard world we live in trying to find others to believe the way we do. But do not waste your love on one who does not know how to except and return it. Tell yourself you will love again and keep on loving until you find the one who will return that burning passion to you in the same way. | |
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| DO YOU DREAM ABOUT YOUR EX?
Posted: 9/21/2009 4:18:15 PM | | 4 years later I still wake up at least once a night from rejection dreams regarding my ex wife, her name is Melanie and I call the dreams "M terrors" and the subject is always seeing her leaving me for other guys or sitting on some guys lap and laughing at me or making out with other guys it never ends and I dont know what to do about it? I have not been with anyone in 4 years now so it makes it even worse for me, it seems I do not have the looks to get another woman so I am doomed to being alone with these dreams for the rest of my life now I think. | |
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meloff
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Joined: 8/8/2009
Msg: 165 | |
| DO YOU DREAM ABOUT YOUR EX?
Posted: 10/5/2009 9:18:16 AM | | I keep dreaming about my ex,been about 6 months now Horrible dreams,She dont' love me,kissing another mystery man etc.(which she is doing in real life) I hear that they will stop and I'm fairly normal. | |
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| DO YOU DREAM ABOUT YOUR EX?
Posted: 10/5/2009 10:50:18 AM | | I split from my ex husband 3 years ago and I still dream about him every now and then. | |
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| DO YOU DREAM ABOUT YOUR EX?
Posted: 10/6/2009 9:04:51 PM | | I had a lucid dream involving my ex. Really shook me up as it has only been a month out and I want to move on, but I don't think you really ever move on from your first love. They are a part of you forever. Like it or not. | |
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| DO YOU DREAM ABOUT YOUR EX?
Posted: 10/7/2009 5:52:14 AM | | I had a dream last night about someone I was seeing last year. He was a great guy...I hope he's doing well and happy. | |
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| DO YOU DREAM ABOUT YOUR EX?
Posted: 10/13/2009 3:56:10 PM | Yes. After many years of relative quiet from the past, I am now visited by frequent dreams about my three main relationships: one from 40 years ago, a second from 35 years ago, and the third from 30 years ago. They are pleasant dreams, but also bring up situations that remind me what happened and why we aren't together now.
As Teggs said:
As I get older, from having no dreams for years about past serious LTRs . . . I find dreams now quite persistent -and I'm not depressed and have accepted the past as much as possible.
This post reminded me that my dreams are about clarifying and closure on the past, rather than obsession. Having been diagnosed with cancer apparently triggered a subconscious desire to get my emotional affairs in order while I'm cleaning out the physical closets and tagging stuff for friends.
Funny thing. I was only supposed to have six months to get this done but I've cheated the doctors of my death. Still here two years later and still having the dreams. I'm not sure what "get on with your life" really means in this context.
Callothewild | |
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| DO YOU DREAM ABOUT YOUR EX?
Posted: 10/15/2009 3:23:44 PM | | Yes and I was married for 14 years and then lived with him an additional 11 years. 18 months and counting without him. Yes I still dream about him. Don't want him back ever! | |
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| DO YOU DREAM ABOUT YOUR EX?
Posted: 10/15/2009 5:41:59 PM | | Not to be an advocate of alcohol, but it does tend to numb and take the pain away. But know it is only short term and the pain comes back. | |
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| DO YOU DREAM ABOUT YOUR EX?
Posted: 10/15/2009 8:11:10 PM | In My case the only time I don't think about my ex is when I'm asleep but from the minute I wake up I think about her all day until it's time to go to bed again. I wonder what that means ? we were in a L.D.R. for 3 years but it all fell apart over the phone one evening for no real reason. and the only thing I can think of that will help me to forget or ease the the pain is to find another Partner am I right or am I wrong ?
Thank you | |
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| DO YOU DREAM ABOUT YOUR EX?
Posted: 10/15/2009 8:20:17 PM | Ps
Because nothing else works I have tried going out but I can't enjoy myself and when I drink it just makes me feel worse and stuff like TV and music only remind me of us regarding Love scenes and Lyrics there must be something else I can do that might help me forget.
Thank You | |
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