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 rev_guilliano
Joined: 4/17/2008
Msg: 51
meeting someone married for coffee, right or wrong?Page 3 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Would you be so suspicious if you got chatting in a pub and he bought you a drink? As long as there are no expectations I can't see the problem. The way this thread is going you might as well ban all married people from social sites and make it illegal for them to talk to anyone but their spouse!
 *TheReal-MissyH*.
Joined: 5/16/2008
Msg: 52
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meeting someone married for coffee, right or wrong?
Posted: 5/22/2008 2:54:15 PM
I wouldn't personally meet a married man. He'd most likely be trying to have his cake and eat it.
Plus I bet he wouldn't be telling the wife he's off to meet anothr woman. If I had a fella and he told me he was off to meet another lass of the tin'ternet. I'd rip his balls off and shove them down his throat. Just for fun of course.
 andrew1961
Joined: 12/5/2007
Msg: 53
meeting someone married for coffee, right or wrong?
Posted: 5/22/2008 3:08:55 PM
As long as you are both aware its to put a face to the chat and given that he has told his partner then no problem.
Saturday last i went out with my mates Cal and Martin,her husband, and their kids.I met Cal online years ago.About 2 years ago she suggested we meet up when i was delivering to the city she lives in.Her husband trusts her judgement.They have a strong marraige and they adore each other.
They are brilliant and fantastic people and i love them to bits.I am immensly proud of the fact that they are my friends.
And all this because Cal wanted to put a face to the guy behind the pc.
There is no right or wrong to what you ask. But nor can there be a moral judgement on you whatever you decide to do.
 blondy83
Joined: 1/19/2008
Msg: 54
meeting someone married for coffee, right or wrong?
Posted: 5/23/2008 12:37:38 AM
Why would anyone want to go for coffee with a married man behind his wifes back, a man that you met on the net, really?? Theres a million single men to meet and YOU pick a man that has a wife at home and does not know her husband is meeting strange women in cafes. Do you think you are the first woman that he asked out for coffee?
Shocking!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and im still surprised everytime i hear a woman act soooooooo innocent. Youd expect it off a girl in her teens or a stupid girl in her 20s.
Bottom line, its wrong
 rev_guilliano
Joined: 4/17/2008
Msg: 55
meeting someone married for coffee, right or wrong?
Posted: 5/23/2008 12:41:37 AM
There are plenty of men out there who would simply like to meet for coffee without it meaning anything more. Why do so many people think it impossible for a married man to keep it in his pants? For all anyone knows he could have met a few men that he chats to online too. I'm single and I'd meet anyone from here for coffee without it having to be a date, so why should this married man be different just because he's married?
 blondy83
Joined: 1/19/2008
Msg: 56
meeting someone married for coffee, right or wrong?
Posted: 5/23/2008 2:43:22 AM
couldnt agree with you more grumpy old woman, i think the type of woman who "innocently" gets involved is looking for trouble and should get her own fella instead of trying to take someone elses!!!I think youd be pretty desparate to go up that street
 Mannish Boy
Joined: 4/6/2008
Msg: 57
meeting someone married for coffee, right or wrong?
Posted: 5/23/2008 3:07:51 AM
maybe he's going to try and talk you into a 3some with his misses, that sounds like fun :) i'de go
 Non-refundable
Joined: 1/20/2007
Msg: 58
meeting someone married for coffee, right or wrong?
Posted: 5/23/2008 3:33:27 AM
If it has been onnocent up until now, and he has made no suggestion of anything sordid, I would think its ok. People will disagree and with good reasons.
However I ask the question...would you meet this person for a coffee if they were female? If the answer is yes, then why let someones gender go against that?
He has made it clear that he is married. What goes on in his marriage is up to him, if it is all innocent, then the wife has nothing to worry about as nothing will happen.
Im assuming from your post OP that you have made it clear to him you are not a marriage wrecker etc so he will know there is nothing to be gained in that way.
As pointed out, we have to mix with people married or otherwise, men or women, Friendship is rare enough these days, I wouldn.t let someones gender or marital status get in the way of that.
 restless_native
Joined: 12/17/2006
Msg: 59
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meeting someone married for coffee, right or wrong?
Posted: 5/23/2008 3:39:43 AM
Is "coffee" a euphemism?
 Macforty
Joined: 5/15/2008
Msg: 60
meeting someone married for coffee, right or wrong?
Posted: 5/23/2008 3:41:27 AM
Hmmmmm ...........the bone or scone scenario eh ??

OT Theres no reason why not !!
 rescuemedic999
Joined: 1/6/2007
Msg: 61
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meeting someone married for coffee, right or wrong?
Posted: 5/23/2008 6:12:23 AM
A meet for coffee could and should just be that - if there is any trust in the online discussion
I feel that most people here have 'jumped' to the wrong conclusion - if you feel UNCOMFORTABLE about a meet it does not matter if they are married or not ... if you are uncomfortable for whatever reason don't go.
Yes I am married, and yes I have met people from this site - and I have made some great friends - and no we have not jumped into bed - sometime people need a different type of 'attention' than they get at home.
I also meet women through my work and we often socialise - not all drinking, coffee or nights out are about sex - this says more about your (those that instantly think sex) beliefs than the individual concerned. married men are allowed to have friends too - as are married women.

don't judge people by your own book cover...
 blondy83
Joined: 1/19/2008
Msg: 62
meeting someone married for coffee, right or wrong?
Posted: 5/23/2008 6:20:31 AM
Well then why doesnt his wife go or at least be invited??

I think building an emotional relationship with a strange woman that isnt your wife is as powerful as jumping into bed with them. So its not all about sex. I just think that it speaks volumes for the persons marrigae if they are sneaking away for coffee with women off the net. Ofcourse we all need attention from the opposite sex that is not that of our partners or kids or whatever but surely these men have sisters or sisters inlaw of collegues or female friends whatever.Meeting strange women off the net when your wife is unaware is just downright wrong!!!!how can anyone say otherwise!!
Its women taht go to meet these men and get involved and the men that ask in the first place that are destroying marriage vows all over the world......
 Kath111
Joined: 3/27/2008
Msg: 63
meeting someone married for coffee, right or wrong?
Posted: 5/23/2008 6:24:02 AM
I dont believe anybody married would say to their partner, Im just off for a coffee with a friend Iv been talking to online, ok love.... Do you?


No i doubt they would but thats just my opinion.Does that make me a sceptic? yep,cynical?yep ,a fool? nope.
 november babee
Joined: 1/9/2007
Msg: 64
meeting someone married for coffee, right or wrong?
Posted: 5/23/2008 6:28:43 AM
antway who said it was a dating site..?

it could be a shared interest site, he could be well into something his wife hates, cant stand , wont discuss and he goes into a web site to talk to other enthusiats..

so he wants to meet up and discuss it some more...

and who said his wife doesnt know..? maybe she is not only well aware but grateful that some other poor person is getting an ear bashing about his hobby/interest..

people meet in bars, supermarkets, work even walking the dog, it does not mean because they pass the time of day they are all hopping in and out of bed...

if your partner is happy at home why would he be looking.. maybe its your own insecurities that leads to suspicous minds...
 faithfey
Joined: 2/16/2008
Msg: 65
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meeting someone married for coffee, right or wrong?
Posted: 5/23/2008 7:19:58 AM
Grumpy old woman summed it up nicely.
 jane gh
Joined: 9/8/2009
Msg: 66
meeting someone married for coffee, right or wrong?
Posted: 1/22/2011 6:55:34 AM
i wouldnt even go there!!! wouldnt sneak around behind some poor cows back with her hubby end of. she dont know thats for sure! move on ,its not worth the grief.
 Raj of Bucks
Joined: 1/9/2010
Msg: 67
meeting someone married for coffee, right or wrong?
Posted: 1/22/2011 4:08:16 PM
OP - Why not focus on the 1'000s of singe chaps who'd love to meet uppwith you for a coffee?
 holby
Joined: 9/13/2007
Msg: 68
meeting someone married for coffee, right or wrong?
Posted: 1/22/2011 5:46:37 PM
Get in the real world
You know it's wrong. He knows it's wrong. Your making a lot of trouble for yourself
 Shortstuff1968
Joined: 5/18/2009
Msg: 69
meeting someone married for coffee, right or wrong?
Posted: 1/22/2011 5:53:51 PM
Imagine gettin it on with ya brother... Yes that is how gross this idea it to me. Women who date married men should be serving some sort of sentence and men who encourage it should also be paying pennance. Its a fundemental rule of society but if you want that sort of thing then go live in merthyr or skye or summit!!
 Dolphin_Smile
Joined: 6/4/2010
Msg: 70
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meeting someone married for coffee, right or wrong?
Posted: 1/22/2011 11:34:57 PM
Put yourself in his wifes position?

If you were happily married How would you feel if you found out your husband was seeing someone secretly?

Married men like the buzz of having " someone on the side" they are deceiving both wife and the other lady.

Dont get involved. It will end in tears!

 Maltesers64
Joined: 11/24/2010
Msg: 71
meeting someone married for coffee, right or wrong?
Posted: 1/23/2011 12:54:59 AM
This thread is 5 years old so the guy has probable been divorced by now
 Lusipher
Joined: 9/7/2010
Msg: 72
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meeting someone married for coffee, right or wrong?
Posted: 1/23/2011 1:19:25 AM
I have met married people - in a purely platonic sense - in the past and I don't really see why it's a problem, as long as you have set boundaries and both know where you stand with each other.

However, this appears to have moved on to whether it's right or wrong to be with attached people.

Whilst I would like to think, that I wouldn't be unfaithful to a partner and I'd be pretty annoyed if a partner cheated on me ... I have no problem f*cking someone who's in a relationship (unless they were the gf of one of my mates .... they're totally out of bounds)

I know it's not a nice thing to do, but as for wrong .... well in my eyes, the only person doing something wrong, is the person who's attached, as they're the one's who've agreed to be faithful

So far, I've never tried to persuade an attached person to cheat, but if they make it clear that they want a piece of me and I feel the same way, then boot knocking will take place.

I've seen loads of people get angry with the other person and whilst I can understand that to an extent (passion ruling reason and all that jazz) the person they should be reserving their anger for, is their partner who has strayed.

On a final note, I'd have no problem with a partner of mine meeting up with men (even exes) on a platonic basis. If I trust them, then I don't think they're going to cheat on me and if I didn't trust them, then I wouldn't be with them.

If they did end up cheating on me .... well, there wouldn't have been anything I could do to prevent it (short of not letting them be around anyone unless I was there) - if people want to cheat, then they're going to do it, regardless of what people say/do.

edit: ok this is the final bit ... Yes, cheating is wrong and it can be massively devastating for the person who has been cheated upon, but let's face facts, in the big scheme of things, it's pretty far from being the worst crime in the world! The state has pretty clear rules on who (or what) you're not allowed to f*ck. The idea that it could ever be illegal to have sex with another person's partner, is something I'm pretty sure I won't ever see during my time in the UK
 Lusipher
Joined: 9/7/2010
Msg: 73
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meeting someone married for coffee, right or wrong?
Posted: 1/23/2011 6:31:34 AM
haha lusipher... that argument is pathetic... this is not about what is legally right or wrong.. its about values, morals and ethics... if you believe its ok to sleep with another mans woman then why not sleep with your mates women...? methinks you dont know what you believe but are open to a quick shag and are willing to compromise your values as and when necessary... thats not "wrong" either.. just not right for a lot of people... each to their own...


It's not an argument. It's my personal stance ... I'm not trying to persuade anyone to adopt my way of thinking.

I feel I owe my mates some level of loyalty and that would be disloyal. Whereas some random geezer, who I've never met/don't give a f*ck about .... I owe him nothing, so if his missus comes on to me and I'm agreeable to the idea, then I will probably go for it and will not think twice about him.

*If he found out about me, and took his anger out upon me, then I'd (grudgingly) accept that I played a massive part in bringing it upon myself*

My moral code is slightly different to yours and that of many other people. I'm fine with that - whether other people disagree with that stance, isn't really any of my concern.

You'd think wrong. I know exactly what I believe and so far, haven't compromised myself or my own personal moral code in order to get a shag.

I like f*cking and really don't see why people make such a big deal about sex - however, as with many other things in my life that I like and want, doing what I believe to be right (for me) is more important than getting a legover.

ps. the legally right or wrong thing .... I only mentioned the legality issue, because someone - I can't remember who - said that adulterers should be sentenced. Which is just ridiculous.
 bambi**
Joined: 8/14/2010
Msg: 74
meeting someone married for coffee, right or wrong?
Posted: 1/23/2011 7:19:41 AM
Its a no way id tell him to have coffee with his wife.But ive friends in the real world who are married and just friends ,,, id have a coffee with them ive nown them yrs ..but on here no ............
 tatt_erella
Joined: 12/8/2009
Msg: 75
meeting someone married for coffee, right or wrong?
Posted: 1/23/2011 7:53:58 AM
Nope! No coffee or meet up's with married men; what's the point in that?
Can't they just be happy taking their wife for a coffee...

I don't believe that married men wanting to meet up at any point to go anywhere on here is just looking for a 'friend to chat with over coffee to'....call me a sceptic but I would think there were some other alterior motive..especially when they are on a dating site.
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