| Dating someone who lives with his parents
Posted: 9/6/2007 3:58:53 PM | really depends on the person i guess
Moved out when a lot younger,but when went to university had the choice of spending the grant during the summer months on some fairly vacant town at £40 per week plus bills or living with parents, then when left uni did not find the job i wanted and carried on living with parents saving up lots for a deposit.
As it is, owe a lot less on the house than what it is worth and repayments are easier from having a large deposit to place :)
Having a bad stutter and being shy was never easy, gotten over it a while back though and been in own house since about 2001, do all my own chores, but more fun with 2 people in the house.
Never had any children either, or at least none that i know about.... | |
|
| Dating someone who lives with his parents
Posted: 9/6/2007 5:35:36 PM | Msg 14:
I can honestly say the twat of an ex certainly was no stamp collector, train spotter or model car collector, in fact apart from football he was a boring twat !!!
Something tells me you don't like your ex much LML!
In answer to the question: When I was younger and depending on the circumstances then maybe but now, no!  | |
|
| Dating someone who lives with his parents
Posted: 9/6/2007 5:40:56 PM | OK!
So there he is, this Dweeb.
Still living with his mummy, he'd be living with Daddy too but heck; he passed away 3 years ago.
Mummy is terminally ill and totally unable to look after herself and HE can't bear to see his mother taken into the care of strangers!
I don't mean to be cutting but I personally know of someone in this situation, he's sacrificed a large part of his life to look after someone he loves dearly.
I admire him for it and appreciate the sacrifices he has made. Yes he'd like to meet the "love of his life" and yes he knows it's very unlikely in his present position, I'd say predicament but neither he nor I see it that way (this lovely lady gave me ice cream when I visited as a kid, it's a lasting memory for me).
So there you have it, for what it is.
A slightly different perspective perhaps? | |
|
| Dating someone who lives with his parents
Posted: 9/7/2007 12:33:06 AM |
Well if that is your main "thing" and attitude.... ah nevermind.
When i am dating a man that is who i am dating. HIM. I dont want to meet his family, his parents, brothers and sisters until i think it is more than just a few dates. If i was dating a man that still lives with his parents, unless we were always at my place, then i would have to meet them early on and go through the whole "meet my parents" thing after a couple of dates... | |
|
| Dating someone who lives with his parents
Posted: 9/7/2007 6:22:10 AM | I've never taken a lady to my house on the first few dates anyway. It didn't matter if that was my parents or my own house. Oh, I get it  | |
|
| Dating someone who lives with his parents
Posted: 9/7/2007 6:42:44 AM | I have a very dear friend who lives with his mother, he is her carer and has made many sacrifices in his own life, to look after her ,and try and give her a quality of life, that she would most certainly not have, in a home..
Kudos to him ... | |
|
| Dating someone who lives with his parents
Posted: 9/7/2007 9:57:43 AM | I totally agree with everything you have said afx777, especially this point-
"It's a shame some women pass certain judgments on single men who expect them to be the main providers of homely securities and finances when they live council owned houses themselves, double standards comes to my mind instantly". 
I could elaborate on my feelings, but it wouldn't be approved of, so I am I just agreeing with your points 
 | |
|
| Dating someone who lives with his parents
Posted: 9/7/2007 10:09:04 AM | I think because I left home so young, I find it weird if guys are still living with their parents at a certain age.
Fair enough if they are doing so as a carer, or a previous relationship broke down and they are trying to get back on their feet.
But if they are still living at home for other reasons like they have it too good, and get stuff done for them. Nah I don't find any of that attractive.
Hey nothing wrong with living in a council house cheeky bugger. I still pay full rent every month like I would a mortgage, except yes it will never be my house, not that I would buy it anyway, holding out for something better.
I'd rather live in a council house than live at home with mummy and daddy(except for stated reasons above).
When I get into a relationship, I don't want him to be at my house every time, I certainly don't want to meet the parents too quickly either.
And there's no way in this life time, I'm going to a blokes house with his parents in the next room, getting down to sex stuff. That's just wrong. | |
|
| Dating someone who lives with his parents
Posted: 9/7/2007 10:25:15 AM |
I have a very dear friend who lives with his mother, he is her carer and has made many sacrifices in his own life, to look after her ,and try and give her a quality of life, that she would most certainly not have, in a home..
Actually I know a couple of men from here, one who looks after his mother and one who looks after his father, so, they are both still living with their parents.
I think there is a huge difference between a man who lives at home to care for his parent/s and a man who lives at home because he is tied to the apron strings! A very, very huge difference. | |
|
| Dating someone who lives with his parents
Posted: 9/7/2007 10:29:25 AM | | Lots of judgmental single mothers here, i wonder how many got a free house out of being pregnant and rent paid for, in that situation i could afford to be judgmental too, luckily i'm not that kind of girl. | |
|
| Dating someone who lives with his parents
Posted: 9/7/2007 10:34:57 AM |
Lots of judgmental single mothers here, i wonder how many got a free house out of being pregnant and rent paid for, in that situation i could afford to be judgmental too, luckily i'm not that kind of girl.
Well myself personally, I left at home at 15, worked from being 14. Saved up to leave home actually. Moved into a flat together with my boyfriend at 16 so had my name on the rent book from that age. Was working so no rent paid for me. Broke up with him. Didn't get pregnant until I was 17, bought my flat at 18. So not all single mums got pregnant to get a a council house.  | |
|
| Dating someone who lives with his parents
Posted: 9/7/2007 10:36:28 AM | So it's acceptable and feasible for women to say they wouldn't date a man living at home with their parents and partially because of the "sex thing".
Would it be acceptable and feasible for men to say they wouldn't date a woman living in a (council) home with their kids and partially because of the "sex thing"? | |
|
| Dating someone who lives with his parents
Posted: 9/7/2007 10:39:36 AM |
So it's acceptable and feasible for women to say they wouldn't date a man living at home with their parents and partially because of the "sex thing".
Would it be acceptable and feasible for men to say they wouldn't date a woman living in a (council) home with their kids and partially because of the "sex thing"?
If that's what they felt, fair do's to them. It's their choice. We all have different needs, opinions, choices we make. Wow it's great not be the same as everyone else.
Also it's not just down to the sex thing for me personally, but also I don't want to meet parents too quickly. I'd rather get to know the guy first, meeting parents is a step taken after a certain amount of time. Well for me anyway. | |
|
| Dating someone who lives with his parents
Posted: 9/7/2007 10:41:41 AM | hehe ~missy~h, I agree with the sex stuff, yep thats not good!
But I don't think there is anything wrong with a guy that lives at home. (other than not being able to get on with the noisy sex stuff) I know about 4 that do, all late 30's & all for various reasons. Such as look after sick mum or dad or been divorced & wife took everything & makes them pay for all her stuff even now!! None of them are attached to mum's apron strings, just have had some bad things going on & have led to living at home. I wouldn't hold it against someone.
Let & let live, we are all different 
Can always venture out into the open for some physical stuff, there are ways  | |
|
| Dating someone who lives with his parents
Posted: 9/7/2007 10:46:01 AM | | Well I have just bought my own house and I didn't want to rent so getting enough pennies together to be able to move out isn't easy. I have a pretty good job there are alot of people worse off than me but getting your foot on the housing ladder these days with the ever increasing house prices takes time. I think it is going to be more common for people to live with their parents for longer. | |
|
| Dating someone who lives with his parents
Posted: 9/7/2007 10:52:51 AM | Well if my son thinks he's living at home until his late 30 early 40's, he's got another thing coming.
That's what child saving accounts are for, help towards getting them set up in the big bad world. | |
|
| Dating someone who lives with his parents
Posted: 9/7/2007 12:41:45 PM |
So it's acceptable and feasible for women to say they wouldn't date a man living at home with their parents and partially because of the "sex thing".
Would it be acceptable and feasible for men to say they wouldn't date a woman living in a (council) home with their kids and partially because of the "sex thing"?
If that made any sense then possibly yes it would be.
How funny that this has turned into single parent bashing again , not all of us dont work and get our rent paid you know. Some of us work hard and pay our way in life.
Well if my son thinks he's living at home until his late 30 early 40's, he's got another thing coming.
That's what child saving accounts are for, help towards getting them set up in the big bad world.
Sending them up chimneys does the same, well worked for us... Up chimneys at the age of 4 and looking after his dear mammy by the age of 8. Tis grand | |
|
| Dating someone who lives with his parents
Posted: 9/7/2007 6:59:00 PM | But the basic fact remains. If your a male that waited to settle down until after say 2002, its very unlikely you can now afford a property to call your own.
Lets say for arguments sake that owning a property was your wish and that is your standard for moving out. Why would I leave home to pay a minimum of £500 a month for a squat? That is just making my dream that much more impossible to reach.
My brother and his girlfriend had a baby 2 months ago. They applied for a council house and got it. They pay £130 a month rent . Man, I just can't tell you how unfair that is. Their combined income is about £35000 a year and they pay £130 a month rent. Anyone can do that!
Any of you parents that believe your 18 year old off spring is going to move out ASAP without aid, is just having a laugh. I hate to say it, but when my mother passes will be next opportunity, and thats what this country is coming to. | |
|
| Dating someone who lives with his parents
Posted: 9/7/2007 7:11:19 PM |
Any of you parents that believe your 18 year old off spring is going to move out ASAP without aid, is just having a laugh. I hate to say it, but when my mother passes will be next opportunity, and thats what this country is coming to.
Some might not be able to do it, but like me at 15 I did it without any support from my mum, (dad not in the pictures since I was 2).
And there's nothing wrong with starting off in a council flat on your own paying whatever rent, and building up from there.
I won't be kicking my son out at 18, but he won't be living at home forever getting a free ride until he's bought a house. Life doesn't work like that. I will support him when and where I can. But we all have to face the big bad world at some point.
Anyone who knuckles down, works hard can achieve anything. | |
|
| Dating someone who lives with his parents
Posted: 9/7/2007 7:25:40 PM | You have inspiring words I have no doubts about that.
If I applied for a council house I wouldn't make the top 200 highest priority cases I have accomadation and I earn too much. Also I have owned my own house before, bought it for £70000 in 1998 and paid £456 a month on my mortgage, unfortunately due to emmigrating to the States I sold it, things didn't work out and now I don't have a house or anything. So it's hard for me to take something less than what I had before. That very same house is £200,000+ now and unfortunately my salary didn't multiply by 3 in that time. In fact its barely gone up 10%..
Anyway, dating a woman who is concerned about my living conditions is not a concern. If I met a woman who I liked very much, it wouldn't matter if she lived in a hole in the ground. I would bring her up in the world without hesitation (as long as I could see a connection and ambition on her part). A problem shared is a problem halved and when you put it like that, even buying a house might not be so impossible afterall. So thats what I aim to achieve. | |
|
| Dating someone who lives with his parents
Posted: 9/19/2007 5:38:36 AM | | Well i have lived away from home for a few years... I now live back home with mum cos its the best thing for me!!! my attitude on life has now changed..... Yes i am 22 but as long as i treat the house and mum with respect, i can do what i like!!! Well apart from coming home blind drunk!!!! lol.... just stay out instead!!!! phone calls only because she cares!!! And can be a bit naughty at times!!! hehe | |
|
| Dating someone who lives with his parents
Posted: 9/19/2007 7:36:17 AM | | It depends on why the man is living there, as someone said finances have to taken into consideration as property prices more or less freeze out single people. | |
|
| Dating someone who lives with his parents
Posted: 9/19/2007 8:02:48 AM | seems to me that some people are putting way too many barriers up and stopping themselves meeting that special girl/guy.
does it really matter if a person lives at home or not, what is it you are looking for a date or a room?
and as to meeting the parents, why on earth would you take a first date back to your house to meet the parents anyway?
when you first meet someone its about wether you connect on many different levels, about physical attraction, mental stimulation and emotional compatability - not does he/she live with his/her parents.
 | |
|
| |
| Dating someone who lives with his parents
Posted: 9/19/2007 8:11:57 AM | I'm really surprised at the vast majority of postings I'm reading here. I would have thought it was a good thing to be living at home with a parent or two.
When I think of the alternatives!
How many times have I read complaints that the person was a 'player', 'married' etc..... seems a safe bet the person still living at home is going to give you a better deal on the honesty front and certainly by the parent.
My first relationship was with a guy still living at home (in London) with his mum and dad. We lasted 6 years which was good in my book and to start with I moved into his home and we became engaged and got a flat together from there. I stayed friends with his parents till their death even after my later marriage to someone else. I don't see what the problem is .....
I noticed another posting say; it's the same as sharing with someone. ie: a friend, and in the main that's true. We all have to give and take a little in a sharing situation and the suggestion in another post that a parent is going to give a 'grown up' a curfew is utterly ludicrous.
There are so many benefits to sharing with family members.
Trust being a big one... very doubtful that someone is going to abscond leaving a mountain of debt to be cleared up by someone else.
To meet someone who cares about family values seems to be rare.
Strangely enough both my daughters are now settled and very happy with partners who lived at home when they met. Time will only tell I guess. | |
|
Home
login 
