| MOM OF 6~WHeRe ARe THe Men?!?!
Posted: 9/7/2007 12:28:18 PM | CINDY DC043- If someone only wants favorable feedback that is in line with their own sensibilities, then they probably shouldn't post on a public forum. So you whole "everyone's jumping her" thing doesn't really gel. If you want honest answers, you will get them here. Obviously people are going to draw on their own experiences and emotions about the topic at hand, just like you when you mention that you are a single mother. I think that people have been very honest, and maybe that honesty has been blunt as I know mine has, but I felt that sugar coating the situation would be fake and dishonest.
I maintain, both Men and Women need to take full responsibility when they have kids. Sometimes their desires have to take a backseat.
And if someone is not just looking for someone to pay their bills, and they are really looking for a man for love....that might be the kind of thing that needs to take a backseat for a while for the sake of the children. | |
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| MOM OF 6~WHeRe ARe THe Men?!?!
Posted: 9/7/2007 3:19:21 PM | | It took 6 kids before you realized it was a bad match? Grow up, get divorced, get an education think avbout your kids. | |
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| MOM OF 6~WHeRe ARe THe Men?!?!
Posted: 9/7/2007 3:43:43 PM | | ^^^^^ This is what gets me..if it was a bad match why do some people let it get to the point where they have kids? Then they complsain about being treated badly not enough support and what a horrible person the ex is. If the person is so bad why did you stay so long and produce 6 kids? | |
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| MOM OF 6~WHeRe ARe THe Men?!?!
Posted: 9/7/2007 3:50:54 PM | I have to agree with the above posters that your primary concern right now should be getting an education so that you can be gainfully employed in something that you like and focus on your children.
What I do find disturbing though is that in another thread the op stated she was open to having more children. This is only my opinion but don't you think 6 is enough? | |
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| MOM OF 6~WHeRe ARe THe Men?!?!
Posted: 9/7/2007 6:42:31 PM | | I am a single mom of 2 kids and find it hard to find someone willing to date so 6 kids I agree is a very tall order you may need to just let them find you and just raise your kids for now...and I am a single mom as I said but dont blame men at all just cause I got a few bad apples dont make them all bad... | |
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| MOM OF 6~WHeRe ARe THe Men?!?!
Posted: 9/7/2007 7:24:51 PM | | I know your probably too young for me,but my advice to you is to "open" the gate a little wider on the age restrictions for your profile. If I was 27 or even 31,I wouldn't be ready to take on 6 kids and a wife. Now that I am older and wiser,I could handle any number of kids PLUS my 2,but would you really trust a younger guy with all those kids? Good luck... | |
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| MOM OF 6~WHeRe ARe THe Men?!?!
Posted: 9/8/2007 6:06:15 AM | ...hey, give this woman a break...
6 kids...does not mean it has to be the end of the world...
hopefully the father of the children will take some responsibility and look after them too... perhaps then you may have some spare time on your hands to look into casually dating/ making friends with another man..
everyone is acting like this woman is dead already... everyone deserves to have someone to love and to be loved by someone...and there are men out there who are willing to accept people in this situation..
talk about squashing a persons hopes..
i think you should look into joining a support group...i am sure there are single parents groups out there...u may meet someone in a similar situation as you..
good luck to you...and well done for finally being strong enough to leave him...
and for being brave enough to take on the role of being a full time mother of your 6 little ones..
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| MOM OF 6~WHeRe ARe THe Men?!?!
Posted: 9/8/2007 6:30:36 AM |
well im a soon to be single mom of 6 AWESOME kids i have tried all these different date lines, and have not much luck. besides being a BBW, the child factor is scaring men away. are there any men out there who would actually consider dating a woman in my shoes???is there any hope for me finding a great man, who likes kids, and me and not looking just to hook up for sex?
HELP!?!?!
~Teresa
also, i think its funny how everyone has kinda built this story up...adding bits to it as they go along...then the next person answering the question of the last person who wasnt saying anything relevent to the original post..
the woman just wanted to know a few simple things...im sure she didnt want to spill her life story...as most of it came out after she was basically forced to try and stick up for herself!!
i dont think its 'sugar coating' when u offer someone some hope for their future.. | |
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Rhett1
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Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 59 | |
| MOM OF 6~WHeRe ARe THe Men?!?!
Posted: 9/8/2007 8:33:51 AM | OP: You've only been on here less than two weeks, you're still married, you have 6 kids...sorry, but you WILL have a harder time meeting someone. That's a lot of kids...but I'm sure you know that.
A lot of men are going to think that you're looking for a meal ticket, a babysitter, etc. Be prepared to be single for a while. | |
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| MOM OF 6~WHeRe ARe THe Men?!?!
Posted: 9/8/2007 1:24:59 PM | | i agree w/msg 2.. focus on ur kids first.. then think about dating after they`ve grown up & on their own (or close to being on their own).. | |
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| MOM OF 6~WHeRe ARe THe Men?!?!
Posted: 9/8/2007 3:24:33 PM | | Very good advice,Watchalook'nAtNerd,when I first got divorced,I wasn't even interested in getting into another bad marriage,but now as my focus gets more on "me" and the kids,it is easier to see with a clear vision rather than..."I just gotta meet someone!" which is hardly the position I would want to be in. It is really important to be alone for awhile after your marriage,not jump into another bad situation. Marriage doesn't CHANGE anything,just AMPLIFIES everything that is already going on in your life. | |
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| MOM OF 6~WHeRe ARe THe Men?!?!
Posted: 9/8/2007 6:08:14 PM | | Are you serious? Child support a financial aid? Child support is money provided by the absent parent to provide the necessities of life for those children! It is not "aid" in any way, shape or form. If she was receiving alimony that would be a different story, but child support is both parents taking responsibility for their children! | |
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| MOM OF 6~WHeRe ARe THe Men?!?!
Posted: 9/8/2007 6:22:00 PM | | Wow. 6 kids. Obviously it would be redundant to say "stop having babies". At least until you actually can take care of them independently (because child support is not a guarantee). I would imagine that having 6 children is very time consuming. I have one and I sometimes feel like I don't have enough hours in the day. If you love your kids, you'll take care of them before you worry about finding a man. | |
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| MOM OF 6~WHeRe ARe THe Men?!?!
Posted: 9/8/2007 7:12:21 PM | | just concentrate on making sure your kids get the best life you can afford...forget about dating,,,be the best MOM you can be...you will find a special person after you have finished bringing up your gifts!!..good luck... | |
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| MOM OF 6~WHeRe ARe THe Men?!?!
Posted: 9/8/2007 7:57:43 PM | Why would you even want to date?
Granted you may have been miserable in your marriage for years but spliting up is a big adjustment. After I left my husband, I didn't date for 6 years. I only have one child but she is mentally disabled and my focus was on raising her and tying to live on my salary. Once I did decide to date, I never ever let my child have interaction with that person until I felt it was someone I was serious about. There is nothing worse than bringing men in and out of a childs life.
I think you truly feel that you need a man and that love in your life but I agree with all of the other posters, you need to get out to work. Not only for additional cash but to also have normal adult interaction. Then perhaps you wouldn't crave finding a man to fill a void.
Most men wouldn't want the responsibility of dating someone with 6 kids and frankly I don't blame him.
Lastly, if you do find someone to date, please oh please go on birth control so you don't have a 7th child. | |
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| MOM OF 6~WHeRe ARe THe Men?!?!
Posted: 9/8/2007 8:55:25 PM | Dating a single mother isn't a problem for me. If fact I am currently trying to persue a relationship with a 27 year old that has a 7 year old son. We've talked a bit and she told me that she wants to have 6 kids. That hasn't scared me away because I want a big family too.
One or two kids that aren't mine wouldn't be a problem. However six kids would be because I would like some of our kids to be ours on not just hers. Since I am looking for someone to marry and have kids tofether with, I would be turned away from dating someone who already has six kids. | |
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| MOM OF 6~WHeRe ARe THe Men?!?!
Posted: 9/8/2007 11:02:36 PM | | Mom of 6....I understand why you want to date. I also know you must be extremely overwhelmed with the care of 6 kids. It is absolutley OKAY for you to want to go out and kick up your heels now and then. Honey you deserve a break. I do not know why everyone always jumps to the conclusion that single moms are looking for a new dad. In your case, I would change your screen name, and let people know you just want to go out now and then. I have seen some of these so called "men" ( I am not generalizing all of you guys...please don't take it that way) comment on a forum regarding single moms, they are disgusting. I would never even consider letting my children meet a guy I was dating unless we were very serious let alone one of those self centered **stards. At least we know who they are now. Of course if he asked if I had kids I would tell him. I also would not date anyone who did not have kids. They may be looking to start a family, and I would assume you might be done. Also, make sure you are dating for the right reason....you are a bit more vulnerable than most, and do it in moderation. That would be my advice. | |
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| MOM OF 6~WHeRe ARe THe Men?!?!
Posted: 9/8/2007 11:42:17 PM | | Peppy- A lot of men are going to see a single mother or no less than 6 kids as looking for a meal ticket or financial support....and not true love. It is a gut reaction, and telling her that men might feel this way, is just being honest. A lot of people also seem to believe that if you have 6 kids, whether you are the mother or the father, dating might want to be your last concern. | |
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| MOM OF 6~WHeRe ARe THe Men?!?!
Posted: 9/9/2007 2:36:54 AM | | I Think she is looking for a meal ticket.She has six kids,she is unemployed and in her profile she says she wants a man who is "financially stable".It's a bit scary for me. | |
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| MOM OF 6~WHeRe ARe THe Men?!?!
Posted: 9/9/2007 3:40:37 AM | | I think most people want to date others that are financially stable...nothing wrong with that.. doesnt mean that she is looking for a meal ticket. | |
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| MOM OF 6~WHeRe ARe THe Men?!?!
Posted: 9/9/2007 6:11:11 AM | Well,if you want to date other people who are financially stable,while you are unemployed yourself with six kids,what does that imply?
You don't need to be a genious to work that out. | |
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Rhett1
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Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 73 | |
| MOM OF 6~WHeRe ARe THe Men?!?!
Posted: 9/9/2007 7:15:41 AM | I agree, saying you want someone "financially stable" is not necessarily a bad thing, but couple that with 6 kids, no job...sorry, screams "help me pay my bills!"
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| MOM OF 6~WHeRe ARe THe Men?!?!
Posted: 9/9/2007 8:59:09 AM | ok the thing here for me is that I am not saying that she will never find someone because she may. There are guys out there that would be willing to take someone on who has 6 little ones at home.
My point here is that she was 17 when she had her first one and all her kids were with the same father, so all she has pretty well known is how to be a wife and mother since she was a teen, she hasnt really gotten to know about the adult life as a single person.
She needs to get her life together first before getting out there into the dating world! She is newly single, she is not even divorced yet, her children are going through the change of being use to haveing daddy around to mommy and daddy dont live together anymore and here she is wanting to bring someone else into their life!
She needs to take time out and get her life together for her and her kids and go through the stages of the divorce with the children first before bringing someone else into their life, that is the bottom line! Not worrie about where the guys are that are going to take her and her children AND the ex on!!!!! | |
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| MOM OF 6~WHeRe ARe THe Men?!?!
Posted: 9/9/2007 9:10:37 AM | I think OP, you are being unrealistic in your approach on finding a man? you want a man who is financially stable, has his own place? ok.......... and you want to find a man who will wait until you and him are married to have sex...did I get that right?
You have young children from the sounds of it and you're separated , yes everyone deserves love and happiness but lets be realistic
In my opinion you should concentrate on raising your children, finding employment once they are old enough, get your divorce, work on your self esteem, then perhaps you will be in a better position to find love
In your current state, I believe most men that would gravitate towards you would be the one who have issues themselves, fetishes or unrealistic themselves, which is a recipe for future disaster if you ask me. | |
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