| the first date and he wont respect your pet
Posted: 9/7/2007 7:08:16 PM | Eh, I have a ferret, and I'd be put off if a girl mistreated or complained a lot about him. One of my friends complains non-stop when she's over and I have him out, and I wouldn't want to deal with that non-stop in a relationship.
My biggest issue right now is that the ferret likes to dig at my carpet where it meets the wall, which I'm training him against as much as I can, but that's my problem for now. If I ever wind up living with someone I'll probably pay for some plastic mats or rugs to protect the carpeting in my room along the wall, but I can't see myself moving in with a girlfriend for at least several years yet. | |
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| the first date and he wont respect your pet
Posted: 9/7/2007 7:21:43 PM | | I gotta chime in here..First of all I like dogs, I dont have any, but I like them enough to play with them and pet them and all that. There was a woman I dated a few times....she was very attractive, fun, and we got along very well. On one of our dates we went and had some drinks and we got some hot wings to go and went back to her place. This was my first time going to her place and when we got inside she had like 3 or 4 little dogs that were just jumping all over the place. It was ok except I had food and wanted to eat. and they just were all over me. She got them out away from me and put them in another room while we ate, but the whole time they whined and whined. After dinner she let them out and again they were all over meher favorite one came and started licking my fingers. I was kinda pissed off but I just let him lick the hot sauce off my fingers. It was hillarious....the dog started sucking air because his mouth was burning and I secretly just cracked up. Whole the dfog was drinking water my date and I started making out. As soon as he finished his water he was right back over there messing with us. Finally it was time for bed...first time for some sex....we go into the bedroom and we start getting busy of course her favorite dog is whining and scratching on the door all night. I asked her is he gonna do that all night long? She says probably so because he sleeps with me every night. I'm thinking yuck.....But somehow I made it thru and finally fell asleep and everything. In the morning I wake up to the sweet feeling of a nice wet mouth pleasing me...when I open my eyes its that little dog licking my sack. I slapped that dog so hard he yelped fell out of the bed and the woman came in and yelled.....I told her what happened and she apologized. I put on my clothes and was out of the place and I never saw her again. Some people are too close to their pets and it affects their ability to have relatiuonships with people. I hate animals that have to sleep in the bed with me and a woman they always get in the way. I'm just saying | |
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| the first date and he wont respect your pet
Posted: 9/7/2007 7:26:02 PM | FWIW I do NOT hate pets but I don't think they are or should be thought of as more important than people.
Thanks JWA- I agree- It's a matter of degrees- animals should be treated properly and there is some "love" between us and them but they are not more important than human relationships.
And some people aren't even being fair to the animal by treating it like a person. Kissing it and calling it snookums it not as satisfying for the pet as just petting it.
A dog is a dog a cat is a cat and people are people. Animals and us are all gods creatures but- elevating an animal to a person, best friend and mate- I think you have a problem fitting in with other people.
I dated a situation like this and thing was- I liked the dog better than the girl - it knew it was a dog. Her- she was closer to her dog than her family.
If all you want is a non judgemental partner who you can control all the time- then a pet is fine. A person is a lot more complicated and rewarding IMHO.
Sorry folks- that worried me so I got out. | |
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| the first date and he wont respect your pet
Posted: 9/7/2007 7:34:19 PM | msg 10:
That was funny as hell, I loved it.
I do have a dog, he is a rescue animal, I've had him for 10 years. And I love him, but I realize not all people will love my dog as I do. But I could not tolerate that. Says alot about his character. | |
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lap58
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Joined: 7/12/2007
Msg: 30 | |
| the first date and he wont respect your pet
Posted: 9/7/2007 7:38:18 PM | ..and some of us "imperfect and flawed" people have had sad events in our lives, which included attending a funeral for a small child killed by a dog....that has put a fear of dogs in me that will never change...just like someone being afraid of snakes or spiders or planes or heights....it's a phobia, got it?
What I didn't appreciate was getting a royal lecture from a very nice lady when I told her I couldn't see her anymore because of her 70 lb dog...people, please don't take this so personally...some of us are not as well adjusted as you are...
If some guy paws you on a first date, you get mad and won't see him again...thats your right and choice...if a lady I meet has a dog, and I choose not to pursue that relationship, that too is my choice...but please, respect those people who have legit fears... | |
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| the first date and he wont respect your pet
Posted: 9/7/2007 7:40:22 PM | .
Personally, I like animals a lot. But, that’s not to say that I always like the way some people allow their pets to behave.
For instance, I can sit out in the park surrounded by large geese and their young ones simply because they know I am no threat, I hand then treats and I knew many of those geese last year when they were young.
Geese, of course, will protect their young very well. So, when some lady walked by with two yappers that got loose and went after baby geese, it was certainly understandable that all of the adult geese attacked the dogs. Which, I might add, put me in the unenviable position of trying to extract two nasty little dogs (now panicked) from a group of totally pissed-off adult geese. The geese did not try to bite me, but one of those little muts sure was trying. Then, the woman was upset because I smacked the dog trying to bite. Can’t win!
On the other hand, I’m bad sometimes, too. There’s a gal who walks the paths every afternoon with a perfectly behaved seeing eye dog. While sitting and talking with that gal a couple times I asked if I may hand her dog a liver training treat and she allowed it. No real foul there, we thought. It’s a beautiful Black Lab that positively adores her because she takes very good care of it (doesn’t frighten geese or bother other animals, either!).
However that guide dog is very smart and possibly a little devious, too. I can be sitting and reading 50 feet off the walking path and the dog will guide her over to me. Really, he shouldn’t do that. He should stay on the path with her, as he was trained. But, dog knows she likes to sit and talk a while and he’ll most likely get a treat from me. So, apparently the dog made his own determination and took her across the grass to the park bench where I was.
My question to the OP would be simple: What were your dogs doing at the time?
If it were me, I would expect dogs -- anyone’s dogs -- to behave at least as politely around me as the so called “wild” animals do. If they do not, I will gently correct them until they understand what is expected. With dogs, especially, that is very easy. They naturally WANT to please their masters. All that is necessary is for someone to take the little time necessary to show them what is expected of them -- and then reward them for it.
When I see misbehaving dogs, I don’t think “bad dog,” I think that there stands a human who should not have a pet.
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| the first date and he wont respect your pet
Posted: 9/7/2007 7:49:04 PM | Dane x - I'm a little confused. Were you answering my question for the OP?
Funny you should bring up a story such as that one though as I was just talking to a couple friends tonight about an incident with some old neighbors of mine. They had a little tiny dog, little ankle biter, and it was nasty too. Completely deserved the nick-name. It had bitten a few kids in the neighborhood (yep, on the ankles) without any provocation and oh - they always apologized. Until one day it bit their own son. All of a sudden it was a good reason to get rid of the nasty little ankle-biting dog.
I love animals myself and I gave that dog all the leeway I possibly could. But I can tell you honestly that if he'd bitten me, I'd have wanted to kick him like an all-star punt. I have had many pets, I have worked with pets for a veterinarian and some animals are ruined creatures. Be it through abuse, bad training, or an inherent mean streak. | |
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| the first date and he wont respect your pet
Posted: 9/7/2007 8:19:17 PM | First date - first meeting - don't take the pet or pets. But be very open about your pets - not fixated however...
Second date or there after - an introduction to the pet - cat, dog, or whatever - do not overwhelm the guy.
But in discussion - in between time - get their opinion / attitude about pets.
If the new person has a bad attitude about pets - cats, dogs, fish, or whatever you have ... then go on about your way. There are plenty of fish in the sea who like pets.
Better yet - get it straight WAY up front in the initial exchange of letters.
However, learn to understand that there is a limit to pet indulgence ...
The guy wants to meet you first - not your pets, not your neighbor, your ex husband, your child, etc. Don't hide your objects of affection in your life - but a guy initially wants to meet YOU.
JoeBob | |
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| the first date and he wont respect your pet
Posted: 9/7/2007 8:31:10 PM | We do not know how the OP`s dogs were behaving/misbehaving. Maybe the dog was totally out of control. She never mentioned what or how the dog was behaving/misbehaving.
I have come across some people while walking my dog who have no clue what they are doing with their dog and their dog is totally in control and they are not. So a lot of this depends on the particulars of the situation.
I have been on a few dog walk first dates and never had a problem but my dog is well trained and behaved. For all we know the OP`s date was not a dog disliker or a know it all but maybe the OP really needed some advice. We don`t know because the OP was not specific about what happenned.
So OP .... clue us in here..........so we know who to tie to the whipping post and nail to the cross :) | |
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| the first date and he wont respect your pet
Posted: 9/7/2007 8:41:56 PM | | Well lets seeeeee OP. Did the dog p!ss on his leg??. How bout humping his leg ( thats always a good one.). Did he bite him??Bark constantly??. Crap in the car?? I have a choc lab that I love. BUT I make sure she is well behaved around others. She usually is but she has her moments at times. Like when I'm standing on the river bank and about to cast. I cast my line and she jumps in afterwards. P!sses me off BUT it p!sses all the other fishermen off more. LOL As long as your doggy isn't pulling stuff like this tell the guy to go to h#ll. | |
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Rhett1
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Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 36 | |
| the first date and he wont respect your pet
Posted: 9/7/2007 8:46:09 PM | I don't think I would NOT date a man because he doesn't like my pets, but the second there is abuse, buh-bye.
My ex HATES cats, and at the time we were dating, I had 3. I never expected him to love them, and heck, his dog thought they made great chew toys, but we had an agreement, he doesn't hit or kick them, and I don't cut his balls off...joke! If you expect someone to love something just because you do, that's controlling. If you expect someone NOT to abuse your animals, that's just common sense.
I think it's a little silly to not give someone a chance as a prospective partner because they don't agree with your training methods...I think we need more details. Was this guy calling you an idiot for your training methods? Was he trying to take over and be overbearing? Was he trying to get you to be the Alpha dog and you let your dogs run the show?
I've seen too many people with absolutely no clue letting their dog run all over the place...sometimes they NEED someone to tell them off...I'm not saying this was your case, OP, but I'm wondering what exactly was going on. | |
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| the first date and he wont respect your pet
Posted: 9/7/2007 8:57:57 PM | There are a lot of incredibly goofy pet owners who I would avoid like the plague. I see them when I walk my dog and it is sad, really, how out of incredible love they absolutely ruin their dog by not teaching them manners. Dogs need discipline and manners to fit in the world and it reflects poorly on their owners when they don't have them.
I've always had big dogs, working dogs on the farm. The sort who never see a leash in their lives but instantly respond to a hand signal or a quiet word. When I moved into the city I got a small dog for my daughter because small house = small dog. I admit he gets away with some things I would never in a million years have let the larger dogs do... like jumping on your leg asking to be picked up and he sits on chairs not the floor. But he lays on the mat when we have food and would not dream of begging because we haven't turned him into a bum by "being nice" and feeding him from the plate. He doesn't yap mindlessly, get under foot, sleep on beds or crawl all over people because he was trained not to. Makes him a better dog. | |
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| the first date and he wont respect your pet
Posted: 9/7/2007 9:02:11 PM | If she don’t like ALL animals (well snakes/spiders/wasp/mice are optional) - that might also mean she don’t like ALL groups of humans.
She is not a match for me.
(now if I could just get my new kitten to stop ripping the snot out of my hands and pizzing off my old dog - I would be all set) | |
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| the first date and he wont respect your pet
Posted: 9/7/2007 9:07:21 PM | Couple of years ago I had a first date with a lady who when she found out I had cats asked if I would get rid of them if we really clicked. I told her no.
This came about at the beginning of the date as we were making small talk waiting on our dinner to arrive at our table. She just would not let this issue die and kept bringing up all these scenarios about why I should value her more than my pets. This issue kept coming back up even two later. Finally I just told her that the cats were much more important to me and I could see no reason why I would ever consider getting rid of them for her. Needless to say there was no second date. | |
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| the first date and he wont respect your pet
Posted: 9/8/2007 3:02:29 AM | Dane x - I'm a little confused. Were you answering my question for the OP?
i thought you had a good point, worth repeating and a segue to my little story.
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| the first date and he wont respect your pet
Posted: 9/8/2007 3:16:04 AM | | The Only good Dog is a dead dog on the first date. who wants to be bothered with a dog on your first date. come on people. You all think more of your dogs,cats than you do your own children, family members. What has happened in todays world, dogs going to school,dentist,doctor visit,got to get a dog sitter,GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG. | |
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| the first date and he wont respect your pet
Posted: 9/8/2007 3:18:40 AM | | Multiple people have asked me when I'm going to get rid of that "thing" (meaning my iguana). It's never going to happen. There is one guy he made it very clear he didn't like him, and then another freaked out and ran out the door when he saw the lizard. Most guys generally take a few steps back because he's much bigger than they expected. Needless to say, I think the iguana does a very good job at weeding out guys for me. | |
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guess
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Joined: 1/23/2007
Msg: 43 | |
| the first date and he wont respect your pet
Posted: 9/8/2007 3:23:10 AM | | What he did?He started the minute we met with my dogs the breed is Basenji and they are a little special...He started to tell me that i was a bad leader for the dogs since i letted them to pee where they wanted and it was terrible that they looked at other dogs too,but now when he was around he should show the dogs.He thought so for two minute and he was told by me to walk on,me and my dogs would do it better without him.Thats what happened. | |
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| the first date and he wont respect your pet
Posted: 9/8/2007 3:32:14 AM |
There are extremists, of course, but most sensible people wouldn't insist that someone must "love" their particular pets as much as they do.
But........
If a guy didn't like my lab or my two maine coon cats.....he would be gone..in a second!
So this second comment is what I was talking about----a case of severe misplace priorities in my opinion!
I fully agree if someone is a pet hater and that's their own filter then the chances of such different views even meeting are virtually non-existent so we'd never even get to the stage of "disrespecting my doggies". Like anything else a common interest in or dislike of something specific would make for better relations regardless what "it" might be. Pets just happen to have been the topic here and is a good example of compatibility and/or those who don't or can't compromise on something. | |
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| the first date and he wont respect your pet
Posted: 9/8/2007 3:48:34 AM | | The OP assumes the guy wanted to see her again. It's likely that this isn't the first woman with dogs that he's dated. Maybe he knows the difference between when the woman is walking the dogs, and when the dogs are walking the woman. There is really too little info to go on here to know what happened. | |
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| the first date and he wont respect your pet
Posted: 9/8/2007 3:57:16 AM | I dunno, they don't have to "love" my pets as I do, I think thats asking too much (after all, I've lived with them for 10+years), but if someone outright *hated* them, or worse yet was in any way *abusive* to them, the person would be out the door. They don't have to love them, they just have to accept them as part of my life, and if you want me they're part of the deal.
Now, as to respecting the way you raise them... Hmm, I dunno. I mean, I have a female friend I told she needed to be consistent with her dogs, only because they'd jump on the sofa and she'd be screaming at them to get off... and then 5 minutes later would sit down and want them in her lap. Thats a confusing mixed-message to *me*, much less the dog!  Its not that *I* really cared either way (not my house, and she's married - so if they're ok with the dogs on the sofa so be it), I was just offering the advice that they'll never learn if you aren't consistent. As far as repecting the way you raise your pet, as long as you aren't abusing them, I think I could deal with a lot. If they are totally out of control though, I probably won't deal with it long.. It'd certainly be a turn-off. | |
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| the first date and he wont respect your pet
Posted: 9/8/2007 5:05:42 AM | He probably thought he was helping.
If he makes his living as a Dog Oracle, I would imagine that he generally charges a good amount of money for his services.
My guess is that he misguidedly thought that offering his services to you for free would win him points. | |
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| the first date and he wont respect your pet
Posted: 9/8/2007 5:10:12 AM | NO
NOPE
NO WAY
I once heard and old man say "My dog was with me before she came, and my dog will be with me when she is way long gone. My dog keeps all my secerets and tells no lies!"
I feel the same way as the old man! | |
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| the first date and he wont respect your pet
Posted: 9/8/2007 6:02:42 AM | Dane x - thank you, no problem, was just a little confused there for a second.
OP-
What he did?He started the minute we met with my dogs the breed is Basenji and they are a little special...He started to tell me that i was a bad leader for the dogs since i letted them to pee where they wanted and it was terrible that they looked at other dogs too,but now when he was around he should show the dogs.He thought so for two minute and he was told by me to walk on,me and my dogs would do it better without him.Thats what happened.
Thanks for getting back to us here.
Well... in all honesty, this doesn't sound to me like he did anything wrong. But I'm not you of course. If the dogs were peeing all over where ever they wanted I might get a little annoyed too. Looking at other dogs or pulling at other dogs while on the leash? There's a difference. (just as a point of reference, my neighbor brought the dog she was babysitting over to show me because I like dogs. He was a cute little thing. He promptly began peeing and 'sprinkling' all over every single thing in my yard - planters, chairs, bushes, etc - to mark his territory. Then he pooped - which I had to remind her - to clean up. Then he tore off after another neighbor, barking at him, when he came out of his house. I understand what the dog was doing, and didn't take it out on him, however he should have been on a leash first of all, and she shouldn't have allowed him to do as he pleased, where he pleased, when he pleased, etc etc).
It sounds to me like your date was trying to offer some good advice OP. Advice that, if taken, might just make you very proud of your dogs and happier with the way they respond to you. And that can make everyone happy, including the strangers whose lawn the dogs may have just peed/pooped on. You have dogs, I'm sure you know what happens to lawn from the acidity in their urine and have tons of lime around to fix those dead lawn patches? Dogs are a lot like children and need to be taught boundaries and how to behave, just as children do.
Sorry OP, my vote is for the date in this thread. | |
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