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| Does anyone know anything about group marriage?
Posted: 6/20/2005 6:55:23 PM | group marriage
Group marriage or Circle Marriage is a form of marriage in which more than one man and more than one woman form a family unit, and all members of the marriage share parental responsibility for any children arising from the marriage. Group marriage is sometimes called "true polygamy" or polygynandry, from a combination of the words polygyny and polyandry.
Taken from Answers.com there is more there about this topic.
http://www.answers.com/topic/group-marriage | |
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| Does anyone know anything about group marriage?
Posted: 6/20/2005 7:10:33 PM |
The hubby's the BOSS, generally.
I don't know much about this topic I was hoping to find out more information from others. So It's not that I don't want to answer your questions UlaLume, I just don't know anything except what I read. However your questions have encouraged me to read a little. I have nothing else to go on. I do live in Alabama. Group marriages are forbidden by law and I haven't heard of one here.
It just seems like there has to be some better way of living than all the cheating and heartbreak of conventional marriages. Any other options are on the table for discussion. I just want something that solves the cheating question. Don't cheat does not seem to work over years of trying to stay monogamous cheating has just become common place. One could dye from cheating these days. I’ve been in four long term relationships and all four have cheated on me. I don’t want to take that risk anymore. I must have honesty and trust no matter what.
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| Does anyone know anything about group marriage?
Posted: 6/20/2005 7:10:48 PM | Group marriage is sometimes called "true polygamy" or polygynandry, from a combination of the words polygyny and polyandry.
How is this different from Polyamorist ? | |
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| Does anyone know anything about group marriage?
Posted: 6/21/2005 10:26:19 AM |
What should we do about all the cheating?
It is impossible to control another persons free will or actions. What you can do is not accept cheating in your relationship. Make it known to your partner how you feel and if cheating does occure, walk away. If someone cheats on you they weren't committed to you in the first place. When it comes to communal marriage ie group marriage, how can there be any cheating when your partner is not completely committed to you in the first place. I think that group marriage is just an exuse to have multiple partners because you can't commit to one person. Too much emphasis is placed on the actual sexual realtionship and not the spirtual one. Cheating and not cheating, I think is directly related to that spiritual connection you may or may not feel with your partner. If that spiritual connection is strong you would do everything in your power to strengthen that aspect of the relationship, including having a closeness with that person that knowone else knows. Cheating wouldn't even be a topic or thought in your life.
What does Jesus say about Sins of the Flesh?
In my pagan beliefs "Harm None" that goes for the people you hold close in your life as well. When you cheat or have been cheated on, you are HARMING someone. The person you are cheating on, with and yourself.
Be safe,
Deirdre
SmoochiePooches  | |
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| Does anyone know anything about group marriage?
Posted: 11/10/2006 9:57:30 AM |
Make it known to your partner how you feel and if cheating does occur, walk away. If someone cheats on you they weren't committed to you in the first place.
Doesn't that place the most important relationship in your life in a very insecure and conditional position, Smoochie? All this relationship instability over what, sex, one aspect of a life time of what should be unconditional love and an unfiltered sharing of life's journey between "friends". Why not get another sex partner like your "life partner did" and hope that he will be monogamous with you, if that is what you really want and keep your life partner, for life? Perhaps you both could start a new relationship covenant without the sexual conditions that should have nothing to do with any real relationship based on mutual respect and unconditional love for a lifetime?
Men don't seem to be made for monogamy. Women often don’t feel the emotional support they need from it.
Seriously, how realist and fun is it compared to the other alternatives? I'm not suggesting going nuts and not playing it safe or being too casual about something so personal. I'm only asking what is really the best way to go for the future?
Is all the lying and betrayal that's been done through out history in order to live up to this lifestyle really what we want to continue to perpetuate to our youth generation after generation? Or is this a better lifestyle choice that could be more realistic and still safe?
Could group marriage be a viable option which could someday be considered wholesome enough for us to raise families in as well? Because of all the divorce and so many broken lives and homes, I just think this is something worth continued discussion. | |
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| Does anyone know anything about group marriage?
Posted: 11/11/2006 8:45:50 PM | do we get to choose what "chores" we will or won't partake in? I really don't have a willing domestic bone in my body nor do I share well with others so I can't see myself ever getting involved with this idea,.......... although I have to say that help with the work associated with domesticity seems an enticingly plausable idea.
I personally don't get this whole "cheating" thing anyhow,......... seems Tim you suck as much as I do at choosing loyal partners but I know that they DO exist,.......... just because I have never seen a million dollars doesn't mean it doesn't exist either,........believing is seeing not necessarily only the other way around. | |
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| Does anyone know anything about group marriage?
Posted: 11/19/2006 7:07:37 AM | Hi there Tim, another awesome thread, despite some of the comments. I am alittle reluctant to post my thoughts due to the misunderstandings thrown at you...but oh well, someone needs to shed some light inside this box! LOL
I have never personally lived this lifestyle, but have been open to it my entire life...I have been lucky enough to have been raised in an environment of free thinking. I have many friends that I visit, and they almost always comment how they would love for me to stay...this applies to the comment on shared responsibilities. How many of you women out there wouldn't love to have someone help with the chores! Ok I am getting off subject...
Group marriage...I think group living is a better description...I am not ready to marry one person, let alone a bunch of them. With the right group of people, this can be very joyful. Sharing all responsibilities around the house, working toward common goals, and having the same interests. When an argument starts...you have others there to shed insight, conflict resolution would be much quicker. I would say children would have to be included or excluded depending on each particular group. With todays prices...think of the money you could save, or the things you can do, if all of your costs were shared....rent alone, $200 instead of $800. Men and women taking turns at the things they enjoy doing and not being "made" to do the things they don't like to do...like yardwork, cooking, cleaning, repairs, etc. Now as far as the sex goes....again, if it is the right group of people, it will be fine. Tim...you have showed by your own experience that men are not the only ones who need more than one person...women do to! We just have a harder time admitting it because it is "socially" unacceptable for women to need more than one guy. Well I haven't found a guy yet that could satisfy all my needs, if any woman out there has...you better hide that man! LOL I have one sister who lives with two men...she has a child to each of them, she loves them both and they both love her! They are making it work! Another sister also loves two men and goes back and forth, leaving them both confused, but they both love her and are always waiting in the wings...now you tell me which scenario works better...one with openess or the one with secrecy.
Tim you are so right on when you talk about the need for honesty....when you are open and have nothing to hide, no one can hurt you! I have lots more to say...but this is getting long already!
's to all!
Mystic | |
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| Does anyone know anything about group marriage?
Posted: 11/19/2006 7:29:04 AM | | Yes. Ploy-relationships can and do work. I have friends in open marriages, friends in closed monogomous marriages, and friends in closed poly marriages. Every one of those can and does work when it's right for the people involved, and when there's good and honest communication by all parties. Though I've been in primarily closed-monogomous relationships, I've tried and enjoyed most of the listed variations. | |
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| Does anyone know anything about group marriage?
Posted: 12/13/2006 12:31:32 PM | Tim, I think it's a totally valid question, for the reasons you mentioned.
I think mysticanjel said it best - I have seen it work, and work beautifully. I have seen it not work, also. In other words: just like any other relationship, but with more people. I think our cultural norms have really created an atmosphere that suppresses genuine caring and affection more than supporting and encouraging it. Why not have a life partnership that includes sexuality with more than one person? Sharing with someone on that level doesn't necessarily take anything away from anyone. A committed relationship involving ANY number of adults relies on a certain level of maturity and communication to be successful.
I have several friends who are living in situations where they consider themselves life partners with 2 or 3 other people. Legally, their relationships have no standing, which is too bad, in my opinion. The upside is that there are others around to share the work and the pleasure - no one person gets stuck cleaning the toilet every time it needs it. If one person gets sick or injured the entire responisiblity of running the household doesn't rest solely on one person. The children seem happy and welladjusted, and have a lot of adults in their lives who they know they can count on. Many hands make light work, and all that. The down side is that, being human, they aren't always going to see eye-to-eye on stuff, and so family meetings and good communication are critical to the well-functioning of the group. The relationship triangles and quadrangles can become really sticky, and I wouldn't even begin to know how to address them. Hey, I'm the only adult in my household and sometimes I can't even deal with myself! But I think for the people I know who are doing it, they work at it and care about each other enough to make it work for everyone.
I ran this by a co-worker - a guy, and his response was, "Polygamy? Forget it. One woman is enough. There are laws in place to protect men who won't protect themselves." (Think I should tell his wife he said that? ) | |
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Raos
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Msg: 146 | |
| Does anyone know anything about group marriage?
Posted: 12/13/2006 6:19:54 PM |
Group marriage is sometimes called "true polygamy" or polygynandry, from a combination of the words polygyny and polyandry. How is this different from Polyamorist ?
Polygamy, polygyny, and polyandry all refer to marriage, while polyamory just refers to love and relationships. I can't say I've ever heard polygynandry before, but it's would mean the same thing as polygamy, which is by definition, in not visually/linguistically, a combination of polygyny and polyandry.
I ran this by a co-worker - a guy, and his response was, "Polygamy? Forget it. One woman is enough. There are laws in place to protect men who won't protect themselves." (Think I should tell his wife he said that? )
That reminded me of a joke I heard a while back. Bigamy is the state of having one too many spouses. But if you think about it, so is monogamy. | |
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| Does anyone know anything about group marriage?
Posted: 12/14/2006 10:04:20 AM |
Why not have a life partnership that includes sexuality with more than one person?
I think you answered the question well, JumpingRaindrops, when you said:
"The upside is that there are others around to share the work and the pleasure - no one person gets stuck cleaning the toilet every time it needs it. If one person gets sick or injured the entire responsibility of running the household doesn't rest solely on one person. The children seem happy and well adjusted, and have a lot of adults in their lives who they know they can count on. Many hands make light work, and all that. The down side is that, being human, they aren't always going to see eye-to-eye on stuff, and so family meetings and good communication are critical to the well-functioning of the group."
My best estimation is that all family units require "family meetings and good communication". But the advantages you mentioned above, not to mention the physical ones, are plenty of reasons to further this discussion.
Thank you for such a fresh and insightful comment on this lifestyle, JumpingRaindrops. | |
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| Does anyone know anything about group marriage?
Posted: 12/14/2006 10:36:37 AM |
My best estimation is that all family units require "family meetings and good communication".
I am sure it has been said before somewhere in thes thread, but this applies to ALL types of marriages. I, for one, would love to have a multi-adult family. As for it being illegal in the US, so is gay marriage, but it doesn't make it any less valid to the partners involved who MAKE that commitment, so why do people tend to think that the commitment made by a poly family would be any less? It's not about the sex, it's about LOVE, and the capacity the human heart has for it.
I know how deeply I can love numerous people of many different levels and on the same levels. The human heart has no bounds when it comes to emotions. And that includes ALL emotions. | |
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| Does anyone know anything about group marriage?
Posted: 12/14/2006 1:25:36 PM | But at the end of the day, certain consenting adults get the benefit of law, and others don't, and it has everything to do with being of the "right" makeup: heterosexual, and consisting of two people. That DOES matter when it comes to taxes, health insurance, and beign able to access emergency information or give consent. And it matters when there are children involved; right now there's a case that's been kicked between Vermont and Virginia involving two women and the child thay had together while they were in a Civil Union together. The law in Virginia does not recognize the non-birth-mother as a legitimate parent, and she has been effectively prevented from seeing their child for a couple of years. If there were an emergency involving the birth mother, the child's other mother would have no rights at all. In those kinds of situations, no matter how valid the intentions of the people who love each other and make a commitment to one another may be in the moment, without a legal contract the repercussions of a dissolution of the relationship can be incredibly damaging.
Which maybe brings up the subject of prenups, but this isn't the thread for that.
And yes, cenlalass, the human heart has the capacity to love in an amazing variety of ways, to an amazing depth. Once I remove my own ego and insecurity from the picture, I can look more objectively at the people around me and honestly evaluate whether a given situation is right for me, and to what degree. Feels a lot like freedom... | |
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| Does anyone know anything about group marriage?
Posted: 12/15/2006 8:47:30 AM | http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/PolyFamilies
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Group_marriage
Hope it helps!
I saw a lot of this when I was attending school in California, wouldn't call it my cup o' tea, too much potential for drama... | |
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