| | Have we become too uptight as a society? Should we change it?Page 2 of 2 (1, 2) | vulf:
My first post is an example of what is happenning in society. Some people like my sister expect compliments but because of a few who may take a comment out of contextr or because of those who overtly harrass others we are unsure sometimes what to say or how to say it leaving those who like compliments to wonder why and some want to change to go back to he old ways (such as my sister.)
Not sure if we need to educate those who expect compliments at work to the fact they should not expect them more or if we need to re-engineer things so you can give a compliment without being accused of sexual harrassment.
I have worked for 4 differant companies and each one had a differant interpretation for sexual harrassment.
At one place I worked You could not make unwelcomed comments or gestures. At another you could date anyone you wanted to (even supervisor dating a subordinant) as long as both parties agreed if you asked for a date at work and one party said no you could get into trouble. Another forbid any employee friendships or dating (so talking about anything not professional such as hope your kids are doing was a "no-no.")
A third one was a little more straight forward you could talk to anyone but if you were unsure of how things would be taken it would be best not to say anything . Again unwelcomed comments and gestures could be considered sexual harrassment.
My current employer has a similar policy to the 3rd one but bans dating between supervisors and those who report directly to them.
Most of us are not lawyers with differant versions of what is and is not sexual harrassment who is to really to know. | |
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niama
| | Joined: 8/28/2007
Msg: 27 | |
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| Have we become too brief as a society? Should we change it?
Posted: 9/12/2007 1:11:43 PM | ^^^ There it is. A perfect example of how society nowadays and all its moral relativism and Me First and instant gratification and tits on TV have made us all so impatient with a few paragraphs that we delude ourselves that a little note like the OP is "lengthy." What has happened to us? What has changed since the olden times, when five paragraphs were the minimum required in a school child's essay, really nothing at all? When a three to five page letter was the norm? Hell, when people even knew what a paragraph is?
How fondly I remember OPie's sister telling me that I'm still single because I liked the paragraphs, and, even more so, because I liked to turn one page in order to read the page under it!
Now I'm just like everybody else, including niama. If it won't fit on a bumper sticker, then I don't want to see it. Who has the time to read more than 16 words!? Plus punctuation!?!?
Cheers!
Vulf  | |
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| Have we become too uptight as a society? Should we change it?
Posted: 9/22/2007 6:31:04 AM | There is absolutely nothing wrong with giving a compliment if it's done in taste. Compliments can perk ones self esteem up a few notches. I know when i'm feeling good about myself, I do a much better job at work.
I think society all together has taken a turn for the worst in a sense. We cant change that though. All we can do is be the better person. :) | |
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| Have we become too uptight as a society? Should we change it?
Posted: 10/23/2007 2:17:12 PM | Why is your sister so desperate for compliments from her co-workers? She sounds very insecure. She should be going to work to do her job, not to beg for compliments.
So how do we ecucate people like my sister
All I'd say to her is: "Get over yourself." | |
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| Have we become too uptight as a society? Should we change it?
Posted: 11/14/2007 8:46:00 AM | | I agree my sister nees to get over herself but she insisted to me again last night the problem in the women who complain..I guess se will not learn until a man tells her to sleep with him to keep her job..no wait her husband is a supervisor now...lol | |
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| Have we become too uptight as a society? Should we change it?
Posted: 11/14/2007 11:43:03 AM | Here's the question, OPie. The real question we can really address here.
When are you going to learn that, while people do sometimes learn from their own mistakes, they rarely learn from other people pointing out their mistakes.
Your sister will never get any traction expecting compliments. So, either she will go on complaining about it, or she will catch on. Arguing with her gives her precisely the attention she's begging for. If you want to hasten her education, don't respond to this stuff. Not one word. Change the subject. If she insists on a response, simply say,"I don't care." Repeat as necessary.
You feed the beast when you respond to it. So starve the beast already.
Cheers!
Vulf | |
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| Have we become too uptight as a society? Should we change it?
Posted: 11/16/2007 1:42:28 PM |
.... this man complimented a female co-worker saying she looked nice that day. The woman complained and the man was fired.
*whew*
Now i remember why i don't compliment any women at work.
My Job is way more important than making someone else (whom i don't hang out with) feel good about themself at work.
thanks for the reminder!
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| Have we become too uptight as a society? Should we change it?
Posted: 11/16/2007 2:55:49 PM | There is nothing wrong with compliments. The problem may lie in how it is worded, what the intention was in giving it, or if the compliment was given in a lecherous manner. If someone compliments my skirt while drooling and staring at my legs, that is a far cry from telling me I look great in that skirt!
God knows we are not too uptight as a society. If anything, morals have gone out the window. Women appreciate the niceties and courtesies that men extend, but do not appreciate sexist remarks designed to demean or degrade. At times it may seem like walking a fine line, but realistically speaking, most of us can easily recognize the difference. | |
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| Have we become too uptight as a society? Should we change it?
Posted: 11/17/2007 7:15:21 AM | *we* have not, its just the women.
A compliment is a compliment-nothing else but how you percieve it and the women who whine about are (and i know i'm going to get flamed about this) stupid .
I've recently walked out on a job because i said a woman had a nice dress and she complained to my manager, i stopped what i was doing on the spot, said goodbye and walked out.
If any of you tell em *nice dress* is a sexist remark i will feel the urge to strangle you for your stupidity after providing examples of remarks that are actually sexist. | |
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| Have we become too uptight as a society? Should we change it?
Posted: 11/17/2007 8:37:25 AM | And that is my point...yes there are things that are compliments, and things that are not appropriote. It is when the compliment is twisted that is the problem and those who do this spoil it for others as do the men who make rude comments.
My sister and others like her need to learn that because things are the way they are in the work place that she and others like her will nit get compliments on how they look. Now she just needs to stop complaining she does not get compliments!!!
My sister and brother-in-law came for a visit last night. I told her that she is fair to "high maintenance" and she should go to work to do her job. The thing is that she will not learn as her husband is now her supervispr so I guess sje will get complimens from the boss all of the time now...lol | |
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niama
| | Joined: 8/28/2007
Msg: 40 | |
| Have we become too brief as a society? Should we change it?
Posted: 3/17/2008 8:16:52 AM | | Let us leave the essays for the classrooms! When posting at forums I feel most of us want the "gist" of what's being said. After all some of us have so many more posts to read. Sometimes I find that some of the posts are too "lengthy." This has nothing to do with morality or societal changes or instant gratification. It was just a comment and I don't feel I am the only person who feels that some of the posts are too "lengthy." If I want to read a book I will. But if a person is posting something I feel most of us want that person to get to the "crux" of the matter quickly. I can write you 5 plus pages of societal changes, morality, and instant gratification if you like. Which I feel stems from family values, upbringing, personal choices, and the environment. But at this time I won't. I was just making a simple comment I didn't know it had anything to do with morality, values, and the like. | |
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| Have we become too brief as a society? Should we change it?
Posted: 3/17/2008 2:49:30 PM | | Having seen some compliments get misinterpreted as "sexual harassment" firsthand, I can say that at the workplace, I usually keep my comments to myself as relationships at the workplace aren't really my thing and if they turn up bad, it'll be worse later on for both parties. | |
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| Have we become too brief as a society? Should we change it?
Posted: 3/17/2008 3:16:58 PM |
Have we become too uptight as a society?
A lot of people are, yes. You can usually tell who they are because they don't acknowledge it.
Should we change it?
Nah.
Just change the channel. (or in simpler terms.... change your surroundings. When you go somewhere where life is fast paced, people won't be laid back. Get up and get outta there.... go to a small town for the weekend and meet more laid back people) | |
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| Have we become too brief as a society? Should we change it?
Posted: 3/17/2008 5:34:20 PM | Not sure what area of the world most of the posters work in, but I have never worked where a simple complement would be considered sexual harassment. I would find that very sad, so yes, perhaps society - in some places - has become too uptight.
In fact, I think the term 'sexual harassment' is more or less discontinued in many industries, with 'hostile working environment' now more commonly used. Which to my mind covers more types of offenses, but they also have to be more egregious.
I haven't much respect for anyone who makes a problem where none was intended, be they female or male. | |
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| Have we become too uptight as a society? Should we change it?
Posted: 5/1/2008 7:40:56 PM | | Your sister is absolutely right. I guess today's mothers are too busy with their jobs to teach their children manners. When someone tells you that you look nice, the correct response is "Thank You" I'm not saying saying sexual harrassment is not an issue, but this is ridiculous. We have to draw the line somewhere. | |
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| Have we become too uptight as a society? Should we change it?
Posted: 5/1/2008 8:43:11 PM | | Well I don't think telling someone they look nice is sexual harassment, but I also don't know if it would be considered work appropriate. By that I mean when I think of work compliments I think of good work on that report or did a bang up job yesterday. Stuff like that. Basically as most employers prefer leave personal issues outside the workplace. I also say this from my own experience. Used to work at a movie theater and lets just say had to fire a couple of the employees who decided to get umm, lets just say a little to friendly behind one of the screens. Basically leave your personal life till your off the clock it can't be that hard. | |
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| Have we become too uptight as a society? Should we change it?
Posted: 5/1/2008 9:40:03 PM | Dave Chapelle was right when he said that chivalry is dead and women killed it.
I dole out compliments on appearance in the workplace all the time because I know the girls I work with aren't uppity like that. Plus (not to sound****) but I've been called charming before and come across as nice and confident rather than pervish and sleazy. | |
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| Have we become too uptight as a society? Should we change it?
Posted: 5/1/2008 10:19:47 PM | I avoid society as much as possible... I put on my suit, do my job...take it off as soon as possible and wash society's taste out of my mouth with a few beers, or some shots, and go play with the animals (my friends). Society,.. is as shallow as a mud hole in the dessert, as plastic as styrofoam, and has about the same durability. If it's not political correctness, its sexual harrassment, racism, or some faux standard that absolutely no one who is honest, or human can obtain.
On sexual harrassment: women get up 2 hours early and apply makeup like a bodyman applies bondo to fill inperfections. ..make sure everything is "just-so" to get noticed, be attractive... then DARE you to notice! Kind of like "Please, Please notice me,.. so I can berate you, admonish you,.. and hopefully sue you & get you fired".
Now,.. it's not all women, and I'm not saying some men don't deserve it, because some are truely pigs(even worse than ME!)...But I think we've ALL (men) can relate to one similar experience in some measure, of the above statement. (usually in a bar)
Anyway... I usually let them all walk by,... if they're interested, they'll let you know.
But as far as an "uptight society"..YUP we are,..For me, well, I'm pretty laid-back. If I were ay further back, my feet would be in the air... then, probably some woman would make a sexist comment...   | |
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| Have we become too uptight as a society? Should we change it?
Posted: 5/2/2008 3:52:47 AM | This is unfortuante....however, say if the boss took it lightly, and didn't fire the guy, say if he said, "Eh, don't worry about it, he's just payin' ya a compliment"
Next thing ya know, the boss gets a lawsuit for not "taking action".
So, any employer these days don't want to get "ruined" because a whiney woman has such power these days. | |
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