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| Should I worry if my boyfriend has a close relationship with female friend
Posted: 9/17/2007 6:58:05 PM | One of my very best friends is a guy. We have a similar past. Out of respect for the girl he is currently dating, I am an open book. She knows about where we go and what we do. Believe me, it's no problem for me. I want his relationship to work and for him to be happy. Loving my friend means respecting his girl. I would expect the same.
Now... having said that...
Look. You are a beautiful girl, who can get another guy in a heartbeat. Don't forget that! Trust isn't about whether or not your guy will cheat. It's about knowing who you are, and that you can survive and thrive, no matter what he does.
Until you have reason to worry. Don't. Remember, he's lucky to have a girl as great as you! (and vice versa, I'm sure) | |
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| Should I worry if my boyfriend has a close relationship with female friend
Posted: 12/11/2007 4:02:01 PM | One of my closest Dearest friends is a female. We had one date many years ago it was like going out with my sister. Anything but romantic  We have both had bad luck in love and can freely discuss anything. Actually we root for each other. ALL I can say is never turn your back on or ignore a friend because a true friend will still be there long after failed relationships. And if this is the man for you then you have a new friend as well. Good Luck. | |
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| Should I worry if my boyfriend has a close relationship with female friend
Posted: 12/11/2007 4:05:10 PM | Even if your b/f didn't have her as a female friend, if he wanted to be unfaithful to you he could be. You can't control him, only he can control himself.
This is a boat we all sail in. Imagine him having sex with loads and loads of women and bring out all the feelings inside you associate with this image. Then laugh at it when you realise it's just your imagination playing overtime.
There's no point in playing a double guessing game. If he is ever unfaithful you'd handle it; you'd deal with it in the right way. Stop worrying about it and live with the present moment.
Accept your jealousy and just feel the feelings without believing in 'there's no smoke without fire' - emotions are big fat liars most of the time but we need to acknowledge and feel them in order to release their affects on us.
If he's ever going to be unfaithful it's not his friend you need to focus on. Just his belief system. What does he believe in and will he stick to it?
He seems to be open and honest with you. | |
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| Should I worry if my boyfriend has a close relationship with female friend
Posted: 12/11/2007 6:47:31 PM | Yes, yes you should.
Men are natural born cheats. He's probably f*cking her RIGHT NOW.
You need to immediately ask him five million questions every time you see him, to catch him out.
Go out in dark glasses and stalk him when he goes out.
Call his friends and ask them to rat him out.
You will be happy. | |
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| Should I worry if my boyfriend has a close relationship with female friend
Posted: 12/11/2007 10:25:59 PM | Personally I wouldn't worry if it has been a longterm friendship - it would be a new, close friendship that would arouse suspicions, as it has happened to me (and lo and behold....)
However, sometimes people get crushes on their friends. It doesn't mean they last. I have had crushes on good friends in the past and they eventually fade. | |
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| Should I worry if my boyfriend has a close relationship with female friend
Posted: 12/11/2007 10:34:58 PM | Pffft...everybody has to learn this the hard way.
Look, I know that there are going to be plenty of people who are going to tell you that you're just jealous or insecure or whatever. The simple fact though is that if you take two people of the opposite sex and they find each other at least tolerably attractive, put them in a room together , and wait, eventually they're going to like each other a lot more than as just friends. Most guys who are honest will tell you that when they are friends with an attractive woman , it's not because she's just that cool to them. It's because if the opportunity ever presented itself they'd jump her bones in a heartbeat. Not saying they'd cheat or expect you to do the same : rather, I'm saying that guy friends are your friends right up until they start thinking about sex. Well, guys think about sex an awful lot in case you didn't notice. That means that when you start complaining about your boyfriend the alarm goes off in their head and they go into "get some !" mode. It's pretty tough for a guy to care about your boyfriend's feelings when you're telling him about how much your boyfriend frustrates you. He's not thinking "Gosh, I sure do hope that she and that guy I don't know stay together for a long time.". No, he's thinking "If I play my cards right....".
Plenty of people will tell me I'm completely wrong but I'm telling you as plainly as you'll ever hear it : Dating somebody and hanging around other guys without him is not going to sit well for very long. Likewise, I would be cautious about him as well.
They can call it insecurity (sure it is...then again, if there ever was a good reason to feel insecure...) but you know why you don't like the situation and it's common sense really.
Chris Rock put it most succinctly in my opinion :
"A man is basically as faithful as his options."
Personally I think this applies to women just as much but either way, I think he's right. | |
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| Should I worry if my boyfriend has a close relationship with female friend
Posted: 12/11/2007 11:14:58 PM | | Since she told him they should just remain friends I think if this female friend wanted your man she would have grabbed him before you came along Id say try not to worry ...ask to go out with them more often and observe how they look and talk and interact with each other if it bothers you. | |
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| Should I worry if my boyfriend has a close relationship with female friend
Posted: 12/12/2007 2:55:04 AM | hmm... ok yes ppl have had friends of the opposite sex who they "love as brothers and sisters" even though theres no insestual complications.
well i will just say this, she might not want him now, she might maybe think hes not good enough for her to be with. she might think she can do better. there is something about knowing someone who you are comfortable enough to hang out with and know that he has probably have unrequited feelings for her for the past 13 yrs. knowing that if she ever shows a tingling of interest in him, then you the girlfriend will probably lose him the next minute. the way i see it, its like building a house on a volcano, no matter how dormant might one day explode.
questions you should ask youself singleloving is
1. do you think he will leave you if she ever changes her sisterly love to good ol' get into ur pants love?
2. if at a moment of weakness, she is feeling lonely and needs to be with that guy who she is most comfortable with, are you 100% sure he is going to say no stand up come back and tell you maybe ur worries have merit?
until you are sure of this answers then your insecurities come from somewhere. the whole point of a relationship is dedication to your lover and not sharing it with a best friend you have an atraction to. the way i see it your at the mercy of this "best friend". are you willing to wait till you become the best friend of your bf and not just the one who he gets to sleep with on a regular basis. answer that question. | |
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| Should I worry if my boyfriend has a close relationship with female friend
Posted: 12/12/2007 2:57:41 AM | | for women here who have had brotherly love for long time friends, your relationship with him is meant to be the same relationship he has with his gf (without sex included). being a true friend, you should let him develop this relationship with the gf by letting him go and not make him feel like a douche for trying to balance what basically is 2 gf. i would hope that the relationships you have with ur lover/bf/husband is better than the one you have with your best friend. if not then there is something wrong with your relationships (both with ur best friend and your bf/husband) | |
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| Should I worry if my boyfriend has a close relationship with female friend
Posted: 12/12/2007 12:33:51 PM | I have been best friends with a male friend for 20 years . When he first met the girl he is now engaged to it took time for her and I to develop a relationship and for her to realise that is all we are and all we ever will be ...best friends !!!. Just because he is a guy does not mean either of us have to desire each other sexually or intimately. We just happen to like each others company and get along really well. No hidden agenda, no closet dreams , nothing....just friends. I am very respectful of their relationship and value my friendship with him greatly, but also expect to be appreciated for the values and morals that I have , which includes respecting their relationship.
Perhaps you should get to know her , and trust your boyfriend . Consider the fact that they are just really good friends , does it matter really what sex the friend is if you trust him ??? | |
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| Should I worry if my boyfriend has a close relationship with female friend
Posted: 12/12/2007 1:43:19 PM | I don't think it's a problem unless he's specifically trying to separate you from her, spend time with her without you on purpose, etc...
If everyone knows about everyone, there should be no secrets - that type thing.
I have male friends, and naturally if I date a guy not only do they meet him, they end up getting along and hanging out at times as they're all guys. It's only natural. Same with female friends of guys I date, eventually we end up doing girls nights out or we all go out in groups or whatever.
If he's preventing you two from becoming friends (unless you don't want to or it bothers you), then yeah I think it's a problem. | |
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| Should I worry if my boyfriend has a close relationship with female friend
Posted: 12/13/2007 11:49:41 AM | | Red flag, he still wants her. There is absolutely no way he can go from having "more than friend" feelings for her, to "loving her like a sister", unless she changed dramatically and he lost all attraction to her. Maybe he hasn't done anything with her, but this is BAD news. Time for an ultimatum. Guys rarely have friends that are just girls, and cannot have friends that are girls if they are attracted to them. It just doesn't work for them. Girls have their dating ladder of guys and friend ladder of guys. Guys just have the dating ladder of girls and everyone else is just around, small talk and chit chat. | |
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| Should I worry if my boyfriend has a close relationship with female friend
Posted: 12/14/2007 1:50:56 PM | | SORRY TO SAY BUT IN MY OPINION THE ONLY CLOSE FRIEND YOUR PARTNER SHOULD HAVE R ME AND MAYBE HIS BUDDIES,ALTHOUGH I SHOULD BE HIS ONLY BEST FRIEND BESIDES FAMILY...TURN THE TABLES ON HIM, FIND U A MALE FRIEND AND SEE IF HE RESPECTS IT IN THE SAME WAY HE WANTS YOU TO RESPECT HIS "FRIENDSHIP". MY ADVISE BE CAREFUL, VERY CAREFUL,SOME WOMEN AGREE TO KEEP A RELATIONSHIP DISCREET JUST TO BE WITH HIM. | |
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Or extreamly insecure 
