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| Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 10/30/2007 7:16:13 PM | i felt a horrible burning sensation like as if i had paprika on my d**k.
You think that's bad...I know a guy who tried to masturbate with Ben Gay! Funniest story you ever heard.
I had a handful of bad things happen.
I was a very demur girl of 19 when I lost my virginity, very modest. A couple of months later, my lover and I decided run off to Greece to get married. We landed on the Isle of Crete in the evening, and from there proceeded to seek out the perfect beach where our plan was to make perfect love. Well, the beaches on Crete were harder to find than one might think (lots of jagged cliffs), and we drove around for several hours before we came upon our special place. Eagerly, we ran out onto the sand as the sun was just starting to rise--the perfect moment. We tore off each other's clothes and I jumped on top. It had been a long trip and we were making up for lost time! Things were going along just fine when all of a sudden we realized that we were being watched by an old perv standing on the cliff overhead. Talk about a buzz kill. The old geezer was only the second person to see me naked since I was five.
Bad thing #2 (pardon the expression): Finding toilet paper in your man's crack.
#3: Boyfriend and I party like it's 1999. Deliriously we strip down and retire. Somehow (in our stupor) we manage to trip the silent alarm. Next thing we know, it's us, naked, and the local P.D. IN OUR BEDROOM threatening arrest and giving us the third degree (and chuckling). | |
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| Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 10/31/2007 1:06:47 AM | | fell asleep and couldn't wake up... she had to call a friend for a ride, and we had bearly even started to have sex and i just couldn't stay awake..what a dumb ass... | |
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| Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 10/31/2007 2:38:44 AM | | Not worst, but the funniest. It was when i first started dating my now ex. We where going at it hammer and tongs and i had my legs up over his shoulders. (felt like i was about to do a backwards rollover) told him we where slipping, "No where not" he said and kept thrusting. "We're slipping off the bed" I said again. He now almost ready to cum replies "We're not, we're not". Well next minute both of us fly off the bed head first into the wardrobe. I hit my head, and we made such a noise the old coot he was living with came to see what the hell we where doing. Couldn't stop laughing then and still find it funny now. | |
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| Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 10/31/2007 2:55:50 AM | I got kitty whipped and married a few weeks later. I was very young at the time.
As far as later... A partner's daughter walked in on us. I had locked the door, but who knew the mom had taught her daughter how to open locked doors with a knife (they had a slot to do it with a screwedriver). Anyway, the kid throught we were hiding from her and tried to sneak in to scare us. She was scared instead. lol | |
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| Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 10/31/2007 11:15:03 AM | | Just last year me an an ex were at her mom's house while her mom was gone for the night. After drinking heavily, we started messing around in the livingroom. I ended up pasing out on top of her. Apparently she got upset and left me in the livingroom sleeping with nothing on. I woke up to find her mom and her two younger sisters yelling at me to get up. My head was hurting so much that I didn't even noticed I was naked, so I stood there for a good 10 seconds listening to her. My ex came running in and pulled me into the other room where her mom followed me yelling for me to get out of her house. I never went back there again, and I am no longer dating that girl. | |
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| Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 10/31/2007 11:20:54 AM | Think it has to be, me and a bf were having a threesome with a girlfriend of mine, his brother came home..... and waltzs right into the bedroom, luckily we had finished out dirty deeds, all we could think of to do was offer him a pringle!
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| Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 10/31/2007 9:03:58 PM | just the usual cat or dog sniffing my ass while i'm trying to do a decent horizontal mambo!
oh and her dad came home and caught us. he called her a whore. he was a minister. | |
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| Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 10/31/2007 9:22:36 PM | Well, to tell you the truth, i have only have sex 4 times. My ex done the deed. The night that it happeded my mum was cooking roast pork for dinner and we were in the upstairs lounge and he had just slipped it in when my bro come to the top on the stairs and started to talking to us while i was sitting on his huge you know what. Luckly i was wearing a skirt so it hid it. He dumped me two weeks later.
Over the next few months he would come over every now and then for sex and then that christmas eve he was invited to our christmas party and that night we snuck off up stairs while the rest of the family were downstairs watching some movie. And we started doing it on my bed. To cut a long story short, we got busted half way through it by my older sister and she went running to our parents and dobbed. He done a runner and i got called every name under the sun. Anyway, this idiot comes back 3 days later and while i am at work and tells them this half****d story of how i sexually abused him and forced him to do it and they believed him. They know the truth now. Thankgod and we don't talk about it any more.
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| Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 11/1/2007 3:11:02 PM | I was having sex with this guy and he put his hands around my throat and started to choke me... I thought he was trying to kill me so I punched him in the face and made him leave! LOL I can laugh about it now... but not so much back then... ha ha ha  | |
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| Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 11/1/2007 5:44:56 PM | hahah that reminds me..
this guy i was dating & i were having some fun one night while i was living at my parents' house.. i snuck him in after everyone went to bed.
well my bed at the time had 3 matresses stacked on top of each other. as we were messing around, i felt like i was slipping off the bed, but he had a pretty good hold of me so i just went with it, kinda hanging my upper body off the bed.
before i know it WHAM, i'm flipping across the room onto the floor, he's falling on top of me, and SLAM, ouch. apparently the top mattress couldn't take it anymore and flung us off the bed, landing on top of us!
luckily no one else in the house woke up..
but i was laughing so hard, i don't understand how they didn't hear us?! | |
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| Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 11/1/2007 6:25:54 PM | I was having sex with this guy and he put his hands around my throat and started to choke me... I thought he was trying to kill me so I punched him in the face and made him leave!
It may be a good idea to ask before attempting Psychosexual asphyxiation on a date ....well at least if you like your testicles attached | |
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| Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 11/1/2007 7:46:42 PM | MeGaN96(d440703) on 5/12/2005 1:00:06 PM
the VERY FIRST time i had sex..my boyfriends parents walked right in the door like 4 minutes after we started.....lol great way to remember ur first......lol his mom chucked a lamp at me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!haha memories memories...lol
WOW you got 4 minutes your first time? | |
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| Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 11/1/2007 8:58:25 PM | dont know if its worst but funniest, this all happend with the same girl.
One time we were going at it, it was one of our first times together and I was trying to make a lasting impression. I got the worst ever charlie horse, i rolled off and onto the floor, i was rolling around, grunting,grabbing my leg, and thinking I was going to die. After about 20 seconds of this, she was hanging off the bed watching this in the half dark. She thought she had done the greatest job ever, It ruined the moment and my leg hurt so bad, I never got to finish.
Another time, i was tyring to be all romantic, we were naked in the bathroom, naked, kissing about to get into the shower together. I picked her up to set her on the sink to warm her up while the shower warmed up. As I picked her up, she wrapped her legs around me and I went to set her on the sink. I am around 10" long(dont flame I was born with it,) and she sat on it. Her weight down on top of a hard on was not a pleasant experience, Maybe it wasnt that long to begin with, maybe that flattened it out and made it longer.HAHA
Well after that pain went away, we finally made it into the shower. it was a small shower with the shower curtian. I was hard as a rock and she went to go from being under the water to the back of the shower to shampoo her hair. Well as we did the small shower, trade place shuffle, as she went by we, I had my back to the curtian, as she went by, my thing got in the way poking out, I leaned back, its better to do that than bend a hard thing. I dont know what happened , but I went out of the shower backwards, water running, and as i went back she tried to grab me she came with me. Here we are both wet, water everywhere. my feet are still in the shower, Im laying on my back, with her on top of me. Shower curtian fell down and that made things slippery. So needless to say my hard on cost me having it sat on and having my wet girlfriend fall on me out of the shower. So needless to say I didnt get to complete anything that day.
Maybe its one of those had to be there things but that was a funny shower that went nowhere | |
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| Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 11/1/2007 9:09:06 PM | We bought one of those french ticklers which was basically a condom with a large thick rubber thingamabob on it with rounded spikes.
Well we were going at it pretty good, and when I pulled out, the entire end of the tickler was still deep inside... I had to use my fingers and go fishing for it....
She was upset and panicking. I could understand why.
But I found it, and got it out....
Never again will that happen! | |
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| Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 11/1/2007 10:08:03 PM | | ok this one wasnt me but i has to be told freind of mines g/f was spending the nite with him ,after sex and they were sleeping she woke receiving what she thought was very very good oral when she said " oh john oh john that is soooooooooooo good!!!!!" then john walked into the room with a glass of water and said "whats so good?" of course then she jumps completely out of bed to find out that what she thought was john licking on her juices was johns chinese pug named taz.......john still laughs about it til this day,she never came back | |
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| Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 11/1/2007 10:09:39 PM | | im gonna think of one that happened to me i am i promise its just that i have been laughing so hard at these i am reading that my mind is blank and i cant seem to pull anything from my archives just now | |
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| Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 11/2/2007 10:24:48 PM | I remember the first time I ever tried a "new" position, my boyfriend & I decided to make
love in the shower (wrap around/monkey on a stick-style). Well, we had no idea how to do
it, had never even checked a picture & unfortunately we were also both pretty drunk. 
Well, you probably guessed it, he dropped me! I ended up hung over, frustrated & trying to
explain a bruised tailbone to my mother when I got home from my weekend at his folk's place
Ah, the joys of being a teenager! Not! LOL!!
Have a good weekend, everyone!  | |
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