| Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 2/23/2008 9:16:27 AM |
I used to do that in my teens, and if youre creative with opening and holding together her flaps you can almost make a rudimentary (rude-imentary) tune while youre at it
Sadly tho a lot of women dont seem to see why its totally hilarious tho, which is a shame really
That is funny..........
Dont worry hunny, i like music when I eat....................... | |
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| Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 2/23/2008 10:09:02 AM | | the worst things that happens alot during sex for me is ...when i'm close to cumming, i have to piss. i go piss right quick and jump back on the **** and have to build it back up again, which is frustrating. | |
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| Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 2/23/2008 10:11:12 AM | well i was 17 and it was my first time. i was having a party my mum had gone away with my 2 younger sisters and b/f it was just a small party 6 others (including my 15 yr old sis).
so i take this guy ive known 4 ages to my room and we start with the foreplay and i had 2 leave the room 4 a min 2 talk 2 my mum on phone (the cover up was always first coz if we got busted we would b dead) anyway wen i came back in i forgot 2 lock my door and half hr later my sister walked in and turned on lights.
poor guy, i grabbed the blanket to cover myself and he was left there holding his c**k.
im a bigger then adverage girl and i was more worried of him seeing me then my sister
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| Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 5/19/2008 11:54:38 AM | | This was years ago. GF and I were going at in her home. Parents came home and I zipped up as fast as I could. Unfortuantely I got caught in the zipper. From the outside of my pants you could see about one and a half inches of skin and blood too. I limped out of there. It took weeks to heal. Ended ok because we eventually got married. I still have the scar. | |
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Naamah
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Joined: 11/22/2007
Msg: 333 | |
| Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 5/20/2008 3:05:00 AM | I don't have any horror stories, but this still makes me smile....many years ago when I was living in London I made a booty call to a fellow Aussie friend. Like most of us, he had a tiny room in a cramped and dreary flat. Knowing I was visiting that night he had specially bought fresh flowers and put them in a vase on a little table near the foot of his bed...a token effort to make his drab room seem more cheery. Anyway...we were on his tiny single bed and he headed south, but as he slid down the bed he knocked the vase of flowers flying. The backs of his legs and his bare ar$e were covered in water and flower stems. I got the giggles and couldn't seem to stop. He wiped the spilled water and flowers off...but I kept getting mental pictures of his cute white ar$e strewn with flowers and the look on his face, and kept errupting into fresh laughing fits everytime we tried to resume things. Apparently it's rather offputting to try to seriously sh@g a woman who is giggling uncontrollably.  | |
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| Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 5/20/2008 3:05:32 AM | | well we were having sex and we decided to try anal which i had never done before so it was dark and he grabbed what we thought was lube off the dresser but it was actually a jar of vicks and once he put it on i felt burning.... lol im happy to say i took it as a sign to never have anal sex | |
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| Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 6/15/2008 5:44:13 AM | | I have a few, but I am far too ashamed to post them under my real profile. But one I remember, my ex and I were going at it hard core...in the woods...totally normal...right? Anyway I was gettin' into it despite the stick in my back, when he decided it was time to change positions, so I got on top (ah, yes, the old standby) so I finally got back into the "roll" and he starts screaming, and I am talkin' total, all out, **** screaming! I was waaaay into it and started going at it harder thinking ":Man! Ive never made someone scream before!" Then his screams turn slightly;y wild, like a really loud high pitched squirrel, or what I would imagine a turtle would sound like if it could scream....(no idea where the turtle thing came from, but hey, its late, Im sleep deprived aaaaanyway) it was too much for me, and as I stop thrusting he reaches up and literally throws me off with one had and goes running through the woods. I am butt naked but, its the woods, so I start chasing him thinking he's running from some crazy animal that he saw comin' at us but that I somehow missed, we make it back to the cabin, and he runs immediately to the bathroom. I start banging on the door asking "What the hell happened?!?" After about 3 minutes he answers the door i go in as he is limping back to the toilet seat, and then I see it. I see a large black fang about 1 inch long sticking straight out of his thigh, he's tearing up and I start laughing, I was rolling on the floor for a good ten minutes while he was declaring "That was one HELL of a spider, you should have seen that thing, its NOT funny!" After I pulled it together I went to grab some tweezers so I could help remove the thing, I spent another ten minutes trying to "get serious": but every time I went near the fang with the tweezers I remembered "the scream" and cracked up laughing again, so finally he took over, and when he pulled it out it was so big that I saw the skin pull away from his thigh....well needless to say I am not a sadist but this had me cracking up all over again. So he gets up still pissed at me for laughing, I use the bathroom and realize that our having sex had triggered my period, and to this day I have to say that I have never been blamed for something so unfortunate in such a uniquely creative way. He said that my blood had "attracted" the spider, therefore it was my fault. All I had to do to embarrass him from then on out though, was to look at him and quietly mimic that ****y lil girl scream of his. To this day he will never live down running through the woods screaming like a maniac. Love it, and that tops the cake for funny....as for disgusting,,,, lol j/k. | |
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| Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 6/15/2008 5:55:15 AM |
During sex, he kept saying "you are just so unbelievably wet, you rock.." we had tons of sex..... Fell asleep, I woke up first and it was kinda light out.... I see that EVERYTHING (me, him, blankets, sheets....) is covered in blood!!!!! What did I do..didn't wake him up, and ran like the wind! BAD GIRL, lol
Poor guy he probably thinks to this day that he killed you and hid your body in a blackout lol. puurty scurry lol | |
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| Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 6/15/2008 6:09:04 AM |
Was going down on a girl I was seeing while stationed in Germany. She started laughing. I stopped to ask what was funny. She tells me I looked like Groucho Marx. (imagine the view from her down to me, with a natural bush in the way. LOL)
This thread is brill, haven't laughed so much in a week!
This one has happened to me, I had an ex who when down south used to look up at me from a particular position, and I had to try to remember not to look down or the moment would be ruined for me because I was having to work so hard not to giggle uncontrollably at his bearded look! | |
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| Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 6/15/2008 7:11:22 AM |
welll.......me and my ex were getting it on one night, and he gets on top starts getting really into it....adn i dont know what the guy was thinking but he screams out (as he was cumming)
"I LOVE YOU OPTIMUS PRIME!!!" and im thinking w.t.f!!!!! do i look like a fcuking 20 foot 2 tonne robot to you????? nedless to say we broke up shortly after hahaha
He soooo lost a bet and had to scream that out as punishment. | |
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| Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 6/20/2008 12:47:11 PM | Haha, halarious forum!
Jeeez, the WORST thing to ever happen during sex.. well, there's been a few "incidents" but let's see.. back when I was 15 or so, me and some friends were having a "few" drinks at a friends house. My best friend convinced me to share a 40 ozer of Bacardi Razz with her, even though I hate flavoured liquor.. Anyways, drank that and started fooling around with this guy that I used to mess around with alot.. so that led to the bedroom.. We started having sex and the condom broke, so he decided to try to **** me anally, which I had never done before (and never tried again after this day) and I started to voilently puke over the side of the bed all while this douchebag that we used to hang out with kept pounding on the door asking if he could join in!
I can't believe I'm posting this, but it's definitely not the worst story I've seen on here..
Cheeers  | |
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| Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 6/20/2008 8:14:24 PM | | Omg this was a funny thread :). I must comment on my faves: 1) the guy who's truck slipped out of gear and rolled down the hill 2) girl who yelled out I love your big black xxxx to the white guy hahahah 3) and omg a girl yelled out I love u optimus prime (sp?). I also have to say girl who was sleeping with the guy and during the lightning storm the lights came back on and the ex was there with a gun- that scared me just reading it! So anywho- ill leave some suggestions of things I have learned to avoid: (funny I've had a lot of bathroom disasters hrmm) sex in the shower- do not let the guy pick you up, you wrap your legs around his waist and have stand up shower sex, when its soapy and u both come crashing down- basically its and easy way to get some injuries- bruised tail bone, ugh. Also had an experience where I was sitting on a wall sink in an old bathroom and in mid sex it broke off the wall- it made a huge crash and we just pulled up our pants and walked out of there like nothing happened. :D | |
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| Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 6/21/2008 12:58:43 AM | | my girlfriend and I decided to enjoy the sensation of cold/hot at the same time while having sex and so we applied a generous amount of vicks vapor rub - well it felt neat for about 30 seconds then the burning set in, especially for her, and we ran from the bedroom to the bathroom naked, not knowing that her roommate and a couple friends had arrived in the house who then saw us streak and heard the frantic activity in the bathroom...of course they found out what we did and made sure to tell the story later... | |
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| Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 6/21/2008 6:29:29 AM | Hmmm...I spent last night reading these and laughing my arse off...
My contribution...
An ex and I were going at it like monkeys...while his teenaged daughter was in the house. Upstairs. We were being very quiet, which for us was hard. All of a sudden, she comes flying down the steps, yelling "hey dad, I need to talk to you"...I don't think I ever saw my ex move that fast to bar her from getting in the door! D**k flopping, I'm trying to cover up, and she's like open the door...! He asked her through the door what did she want...do you know what that child wanted??? "Can I go to my friend's house?" HELL YEAH ALREADY! He told her call her friend to come get her now! We waited until we knew for sure she was gone...after laughing for a good bit, continued on!! But from then on, locked door!!!!
Or the time that me and an ex decided that we couldn't wait to get to my house...drove to the roof top of a shopping mall parking lot, and were in the back of his car. It started raining, which gave us courage to get, well rowdy...then all of a sudden we hear someone parking right next to us...!! What the??? 2 guys had saw the car "rockin" and decided to come and take a peek. In the damn rain...pervs!! My ex opened the window and said some very nasty things that aren't fit for print, they decided maybe not worth that...and left. By then, I had gotten panties on, skirt down and was looking like a prim schoolteacher. Mood killed...!!  | |
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| Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 6/21/2008 10:30:30 AM | | In my 20's I was dating a MLB player. It was the night before a home game and the phone rings in the middle of some hot and heavy stuff. It was the general manager who I have no idea how he got my number but, he asks "is so and so was there?" and I answered "yes". I was about to hand the phone over and the manager says "no you will do." HUH? He goes on to say. "So and so has to pitch tomorrow, be gentle on him and make sure he actually sleeps." Click, the phone is dead and I'm staring at it. BF asks who it was and I tell him. We both started laughing and I still have no idea how he got my number or how he found out who I was. Worse thing was the next day at the game (who I always attended with an older gentleman who was a friend of the family), the manager walks over at the bottom of the 9th, to the section where we were sitting and yells up "Thank you, same thing next week?". Mortified, I just nodded and my companion just looked at me.. I about died. | |
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| Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 6/22/2008 12:01:50 AM | | When i was 15 the boys mother walked into his room jsut as we were getting into it (she had never met of probably heard of me before). She calmly closed the door and walked away. I freaked out and went to stand up and fainted (i think it was because i had just gotten over the flu and us two little 15 year old brats had polished off a bottle of his dads jack danials). When i came I was back on the guys bed with a sheet drapped over my naked body and the mother was dabbing my forehead with a cold washer! Then she damanded i rest there she would make me some food and i msut let her drive me home instead of catching the train. Im pretty sure she didnt put poisen in my food and for the little longer time i was seeing the guy she was always really nice! | |
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