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| How many people can admit they have trust issues?
Posted: 9/16/2007 2:09:59 PM | | Truth be told, I think most of us, on POF, have some kind of issue. Trust is only one of them. They key here, to me, is a cliche... I feel the fear & do it anyway. So I've dated some toads. The upside is, I learned that I really don't like toad spit. Not that the guys were complete losers...those particular guys just weren't right for me. So you throw them back in the dating pond, & move on. No harm no foul. | |
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| How many people can admit they have trust issues?
Posted: 9/16/2007 2:25:04 PM | I hear this saying all the time "Trust Issues". Me personally I believe this is lame..
Hell I have been dumped and cheated on. Doesn't mean the next guy I fall for is going to do it. I mean for me. a relationship begins with the spark yes, but there better be a friendship being built.. Honesty, Respect, Trust go hand in hand in my book, I am going to trust till I am given a reason not to. Then I am not going to just jump up and say I don't trust you.. I am going to ask about the incident.
But trust issues nope. | |
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| How many people can admit they have trust issues?
Posted: 9/16/2007 4:13:14 PM | | Trust is something that must be earned. I believe in giving someone the benefit of the doubt and "innocent until proven guilty", but when that trust is broken, it's very hard to get back. If you don't have trust, how do you build a relationship? | |
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AlexSB
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Joined: 6/29/2006
Msg: 55 | |
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| How many people can admit they have trust issues?
Posted: 9/16/2007 4:32:56 PM | that phrase is becoming so cliche'
Like respect, Trust must be earned as well.
and if you trust someone..........before you know you can!........
You usually end up dissappointed. Especially on the internet it
can be also very risky.....and dangerous.
It is healthy to be wise in all situations!
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| How many people can admit they have trust issues?
Posted: 9/16/2007 4:44:45 PM | Trust is something we all give freely on the surface - we wouldn't be able to exist outside of our front doors without it - think about driving down the road, what keeps the other person on their side of the road - trust - we are trusting that the other people can drive well enough to stay on their side. Or when we drive across a bridge, or take an elevator, etc... we are trusting that these things will work as they are suppose to and we trust our lives in that knowledge that it is for the most part safe.
trust however comes on many levels - an introductory level means you trust them enough to meet with them, you are giving them the benefit of the doubt as you slowly get to know who they are.
All other levels of trust (in a relationship) grows over time as respect grows and mutual values and morality are discovered. If however those moral values are not shared trust can quickly be revoked, or if betrayed the trust can be so severely damaged as to be no repairable.
Trust is a fragil thing - but it is also the cornerstone that allows us to really experience life at its fullest. I tend to trust too quickly - but then again I have been very rewarded in life by doing so and the occasional heartaches along the way only showed me just how important that virtues is within a relationship.
I believe everyone deserves to be trusted based on their own personal merits and not based on negative experiences (and heartaches) of our personal past. | |
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| How many people can admit they have trust issues?
Posted: 9/16/2007 4:50:02 PM | I certainly have fewer 'Trust Issues' Here . . than on the last site I was on . . !!!
Not only the members . . but the organization was Crooked . . !!!
I trust my Partner Implicitley .. at ALL Times . . !!!
{When I H A V E a Partner } | |
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| How many people can admit they have trust issues?
Posted: 9/16/2007 5:07:01 PM | It used to be that I trusted everyone until they proved otherwise. Now I don't trust until they prove otherwise. I am not saying it's right or wrong, it's just me now.
If a person really cares for you, and they know you have trust issues, they will do everything in their power to help you to be secure in your relationship with them.
I want to trust, but it's not easy for me. | |
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| How many people can admit they have trust issues?
Posted: 9/16/2007 5:20:20 PM | wow , its funny reading all the comments regarding trust issues
I'm not sure if I trust everyone here who claim they have been hurt , and have never hurt or caused harm to anyone else's feelings themselves
everyone here has been on the losing end....yeah right. I have mild "trust issues" , but only mildly lol
If you want to hang out with "John", go ahead. I have no trust issues there, you can hang out with all the boys you know
I just make sure to watch my financial investment, no co-signing, and no joint credit cards. Just remember , you can hang out as long as you want, in the end, the joke is on you. And no issues with me | |
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| How many people can admit they have trust issues?
Posted: 9/16/2007 5:34:00 PM |
I just make sure to watch my financial investment, no co-signing, and no joint credit cards. This is one area where I trust no one. But with my heart, I'm probably still a little TOO trusting. | |
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| How many people can admit they have trust issues?
Posted: 9/16/2007 5:41:15 PM | | My motto is "Trust people with only as much as you are willing to lose". That may seem like a trust issue until people learn that the few things on the list I can't trust people with is my freedom, my life, and my children (if I ever have any). Am I worried about trust in terms of a broken heart?. I'll put that on the line no problem. I've had it broken before: Nowhere near the worst pain I ever felt! | |
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| How many people can admit they have trust issues?
Posted: 9/16/2007 5:44:33 PM | {Do I need to repeat myself . . !!!!}
Isn't that an Interrog . . _???_
I've rarely trusted anyone who finds it necessary to post rhetorical questions . .
{Sorry . . I don't mean to be picky about a few punctuation marks . . *Hug*}
. . And . . now that I know that certain other 'Entities' have Infiltrated P O F. . . I'm going yo have a difficult time Trusting anyone . . ANYway . . !!!
[thanx, jerk] | |
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| How many people can admit they have trust issues?
Posted: 9/16/2007 6:11:48 PM | I'll admit it. I have major trust issues after my last boyfriend. I was always put on the defensive, drilled if I was talking to guys, going on dates, having sex with a guy. He'd string me along, saying he would see me on the weekend, and consistantly come up with excuses as to why he couldn't. Yet, those same excuses didn't stop him from seeing other women.
It's a shame that good honest decent men will be looked at with great caution and suspicion as to the sincerity of their words, because of one game playing, lying, manipulative, control freak.
Hopefully, I'll be able to overcome this quickly.  | |
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| How many people can admit they have trust issues?
Posted: 9/16/2007 7:28:21 PM | It is my firm belief that we must first trust ourselves with our own lives. Coming to grips with the separation and pain of a divorce is not easily forgotten. It has been nine years now for me. The pain is gone but the memories still linger. It was not until I could face my own mistakes that I began to learn to trust again. We all seek perfection for ourselves and those around us, forgetting that we are human and make mistakes. Call it what it is, work it out and move on.
Each of us have ran into the same problem this issue of non-trust and having to prove that we are worthy of a second chance. This is where the practical side of me gets in my way. Yet there are those who see me as a player. They have not dealt with the issues of the past. What is the difference between a player and a good man is it not his actions, the words and romance would be deciding if you like it or not, instead of using a player and probably is like all the rest. Stereotyping something that my generation refused to be stereotyped we were individuals with long hair and bellbottoms and worshiping all that was natural in our world.
Respect is given and not learned through time. Our society views is in reverse from the way I view it. Which of us is right , or wrong. Who is the final judge and who are you more scared of God or man. Forgiveness must be given out of respect for our Lord and Savior dying on the cross for my sins. It is him I respect and fear that allows me not to worry about if you're going to hurt me. Besides right now I'm just a bit numb there is no pain and sorrow for what was, it is now what's going to be.
In closing I would like to say the issue of trust, is assigning problems to your future. Forgiveness is the key to solving them. Hopefully you understand if not I do not mind if you contact me and ask any questions you want to ask. As always Jim      | |
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| How many people can admit they have trust issues?
Posted: 9/16/2007 7:32:10 PM | I definitely have to work hard to trust people and to be optomistic about dating. That's why it can be really upsetting to put in the time get to know someone, put your absolute best foot forward on a date, feel the chemistry, and then just have them cut and run.
On the one hand, I understand that people can sometimes get spooked by their demons (or other issues), but on the other hand, if I can put in the effort to get back out there again, why can't they? | |
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| How many people can admit they have trust issues?
Posted: 9/16/2007 7:49:04 PM | | ejesq...I think eventually they do. Because if they truly are unable to trust again, they would no longer be on POF. I do believe, however, that some people like to whine about it a litle longer than others. Not that there's anything wrong with whining....;) | |
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| How many people can admit they have trust issues?
Posted: 9/16/2007 8:02:40 PM | Once bitten twice shy! It takes time to get over and for sure with baggage, I thought I could just jump into dating with no worries but it is not that easy. Plus most have baggage, mine is a son that is my life but a lot of woman dont want to share the every other weekend and normal visitations, so yea that scares me cause I dont want to be made to choose which has happened.
Heck, Im country, just go fishing and all things will work out doing some serious self-evaluation of onesself...............As I have heard "Time heals all wounds". well maybe.
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| How many people can admit they have trust issues?
Posted: 9/16/2007 11:32:58 PM | | I think its due to the main fact that the people meet on a dating site...didnt meet in a normal setting, and frankly the person could be making up their whole life and some people would never know. people can have past trust issues that they bring into the current relationships, or they can just be naturally timid to a commitment. and there is the occasional person who is right in not being trusting...for instance, i have a friend who has 3 different significant others in 3 different towns and this person thinks all of them trust him like normal. granted that may be the mind of a childish and niaeve cheater, but there are more people on dating sites that are not comfortable with being in a relationship. i think that if there were more honesty from people on dating sites, people wouldnt be so tennative to the trust issue. if you're gonna see other people, see other people, but let them know...its only fair. some people are ok with that, and others are not...its all part of the dating scene (finsing someone or some people that fit with your lifestyle). trust should be earned, but its always a risk. Risks can be quite rewarding, or slap you in the face, but all relationships are a risk, so, i mean sometimes you just have to go for it and let the chips fall where they may so to speak. | |
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