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| How many people can admit they have trust issues?
Posted: 11/18/2007 7:20:44 AM |
1. The women who want to do background checks
I didn't used to do this, but I had a bad feeling about one guy I dated...I checked Megan's List, and he was a registered sex offender. You better believe I run their names through that list now. Trust but verify  | |
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| How many people can admit they have trust issues?
Posted: 11/18/2007 7:46:55 AM | I am the type of person who believes most of us are good people, so I do have a certain amount of trust I will have when I'm getting to know somebody. Call it my 'rose-coloured glasses' mentality, but I like to think most people are not out to be decpetive. There are usually pretty good indicators early on to tell who is being upfront with you and who is not. Any warning bells at all and there is no trust, period.
I'm not going to walk around paranoid and think that nobody around me is trustworthy. Be open, honest, upfront, and sincere with me and there will be no trust issues.
Be sneaky, lie to me, cheat, or be deceptive in any other way, the red flags will go up and the trust will be gone. Yah, then there will be trust issues and it will be a lot of hard work to earn it back!! | |
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| How many people can admit they have trust issues?
Posted: 11/18/2007 7:49:05 AM | It's real ~
Myself ~ I live in faith ~ and the power of myself ~ I am fearless ~ I make it a point ~ to be strong enough to trust.
I can and will recover if I be wrong.
The weak are the one's most easely offended ~ put out ~ inconvinced ~
They can not afford the hurt and pain ~ I understand that and deal with it.
For , once ~ I too ~ was there. ~ dar | |
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| How many people can admit they have trust issues?
Posted: 11/19/2007 7:09:10 AM | Alright! I have found the perfect forum for myself! I do have alot of trust issues, and i hate it! They ruin things for me all of the time!
Ever since i was a youth, and trusted people, not just in boyfriend - girlfriend relationships, i feel that i have been played or fooled by others, alot more than my fair share.
In relationships with the opposite sex, as far back as i can remember, let's say grade 6, I may have only been 11 or 12 years old, but i was cheated on, and since then, i'm 34 now, i can only truly recall about 4 relationships, okay 5, including the one that i am currently in, in which i wasn't lied to, and/ or cheated on in some way that ended up finishing off the relationship. and i have had quite a few more relationships while growing up, than just that.
I have had so called friends cheat on me with my so called girlfriends, on more than 1 or 2 occasions, more like 5 or 6 times.
I dated a girl on and off through my highschool years, who was such a repeat offender, that when we were on, we were on, but when she was off, she off with some other guy. i just kept swallowing her lies, and going back for more of the same old thing, time, and time again.
Then since my after highschool years in my dating life, i have been involved with several women who have cheated on me, and at least two who've actually stolen from me, and i'm not just talking petty theft, but expensive items, that meant something to me.
I've even opened my doors, and allowed three of them to live with me, at seperate times, of course, and i know for sure that 2 of them slept around on me. The other one just lived the life of Reiley, while i worked my behind off to support her, then one day, i got home from work to see that she was gone, without even leaving so much as a note to tell me off, or anything.
Since then i have had a number of short term relationships, that have all ended for similar reasons, and because of all of these, i feel that i have some deep trust issues.
I know that these issues are not good for me, and because of them, i very well stand the chance of ruining my current relationship, which i definately don't want to do!!!
It seems as though, all along through my dating history, that i have always trusted the wrong people, and of course because of those experiences, i have ended up destroying my other relationships with the right kind of honest people along the way, due to my leftover grudges caused in the previous bad partnerships.
I am overall a generous type of guy, very giving, and what not, but then i get taken advantage of, and it sets me off track for a while.
I have not been cheated on in over 6 years now, that i am aware of, and i just recently started a new relationship with a lady that i met on this site.
I am happy that i have met her, and that i am with her, and i do trust her with all of my heart!
Unfortunately for me, however, every once in a while, a shadow of doubt creeps up on me, and i can't help but wonder why a women as great as the one i am with, would actually want to be with me, when i know that she could very easily get any guy that she wanted to.
I hate those feelings, and i am doing everything i can to get rid of them, i have no reason at all to think that she has it in her character to treat me that way!
As far as i am concerned, she is the perfect woman for me, and i worry that i am chasing her away with my idiotic self doubts.
It's not her that has any fault in this, i know that, she just lives her life normally, as she should, then i just somehow get these stupid feelings of self doubt, and i take them out on her, in some way, or another.
I am doing everything that i can to get rid of these stupid feelings, and i know that she is being more than patient with me while i get over them.
I know that i have to smarten up, and get over my fears, and now is a great time to start doing just that!
So yes, i admit that i do have trust issues, if that isn't obvious enough in my long forum post, but i also know that today is the best day to start getting over them, A.S.A.P.!!! | |
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| How many people can admit they have trust issues?
Posted: 11/19/2007 7:18:24 AM | | I'm scared because no man will tolerate my depression. I don't wanna go through another year relationship then get dumped over something I will always have. Many will say theres someone out there who will accept my depression but I've never found anyone yet. I've lost faith in men because so many need the happy positive emotions n feelings to be happy with a chick. Unfortinly I lack those and know I'll be a lonely cranky old lady..lol..with the shot gun... | |
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| How many people can admit they have trust issues?
Posted: 11/19/2007 7:24:48 AM | | My biggest trust issue is WOMEN!!!THEY CAN'T BE TRUSTED!!! anyone who thinks its okay to flirt either verbal or physically is not TOLERATED!! and I won't date or go out with a guy who is okay with flirting after in a relationship. | |
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| How many people can admit they have trust issues?
Posted: 11/19/2007 7:33:46 AM | Like a few have said....trust has to be earned it's not automatic.
Everyone who has a natural survival instinct has trust issues, which is natural.
What is not natural is to fear and try to second guess everyone intentions.
My technique is to think positive first and start filing inconsistencies, when I get to more minus than plus I bail.
I choose to trust with a trial period........ the system is not perfect, I'll admit. But it keeps me relatively unscorched.
Concerning past hurts I'm a shredder, past is past. It's completely useless and unfair to imagine because you were hurt in the past, that it will necessarily happen with everyone you meet.
Naivete becomes wisdom........hopefully. | |
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| How many people can admit they have trust issues?
Posted: 11/19/2007 7:41:54 AM | | I don't have trust issues, I have bs issues lol. I heard more bs this year than in my entire life. Funny thing if bs is good and many are doing it why aren't they happy? If I wanted to be a player I have gotten a crash course from this site on players. the few good people on this site have been decieved and wondering what that smell is. Its bs lol. My best advise is if you want a real relationship do not put too much hope in online dating sites. If you can't trust people you are going to go mad on internet dating sites. Most will hand you a line of bs a mile long. Could care less about your feelings. Seems as though the most fragile thing is the world is our heart and yet people think nothing of stomping all over it and laughing as they walk away. | |
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| How many people can admit they have trust issues?
Posted: 11/19/2007 9:08:20 AM | [I don't trust women who read cosmo]
actually cosmo is just repeating a lot of re published stuff. The sex tips are re done every month same with many other things. So any woman who trusts magazines is a joke considering most mags are bluffing and repeating the same info. I stopped buying it cause it was only useful for the quizes and funny stories. So next time a woman tells you she reads it ask her did she ever notice how everything is reworded. | |
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| How many people can admit they have trust issues?
Posted: 11/19/2007 9:24:25 AM | I consider myself level headed and wise.
Somethings I can trust, some I can't.
Any wisdom aquired through experience is the most valued kind of lessons.
I don't want to let past experiences and issues, taint my good nature, to accept new relationships with an open mind and likewise heart.
But...ya really can't help it sometimes, you see the signs, smell the smells and somehow you ignore your gut anyway.
I trust, until there is some reason not to. | |
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| How many people can admit they have trust issues?
Posted: 11/19/2007 10:24:28 AM | | cosmo is just another link in the propaganda chain. It starts with the fairytales we read to our baby girls in their "princess" rooms and just never seems to stop. Cosmetics commercials...The Bachelor...it's all shite. It has women borrowing money to get their labia done and spending what cash they do have on every new discovery that Laboratoire Garnier can crap out. | |
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| How many people can admit they have trust issues?
Posted: 11/24/2007 12:27:26 AM |
I don't have trust issues, I have bs issues lol. I heard more bs this year than in my entire life. Funny thing if bs is good and many are doing it why aren't they happy? If I wanted to be a player I have gotten a crash course from this site on players. the few good people on this site have been decieved and wondering what that smell is. Its bs lol. My best advise is if you want a real relationship do not put too much hope in online dating sites. If you can't trust people you are going to go mad on internet dating sites. Most will hand you a line of bs a mile long. Could care less about your feelings. Seems as though the most fragile thing is the world is our heart and yet people think nothing of stomping all over it and laughing as they walk away
OMG I couldn't of said that better myself!!POF should come with a shovel ! lol
Ofcourse I have trust issues, you're meeting people on the internet that you don't know from a hole in the head , you gotta go with your guts most times they never seem to lie. Most importantly use your brain if it smells sour it usually is. I been on this site long enough and dealt with all kinds of people , and was never wrong about them if something never sit quite right. Going through it now kinda ,yay what fun....not | |
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| How many people can admit they have trust issues?
Posted: 11/24/2007 5:32:44 AM | | it's a typical behaviour of someone with trust issues or committment phobiac to seek a long distance relationship or to just meeting people online..They might even think they want to share their life with someone but when it gets close, they run of fear of getting hurt.. Some people even uncontiously set themself up in a way which prevents them of having a committed relationship ..they might for example work a lot so in that way they tell themselves that a realtionship wouldnt work, they avoid to adress their personal issues..... | |
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| How many people can admit they have trust issues?
Posted: 11/24/2007 9:14:21 PM | | Thats my biggest problem. TRUSTING. I can be seeing a guy and everything is going right and i remember the last relationship and then I am into trouble. I think to much | |
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| How many people can admit they have trust issues?
Posted: 11/24/2007 10:27:41 PM | | I posted back 2 months ago that I had trust issues and I can honestly say that I still have them. Unfortunately I still find myself meeting men with less than honorable intentions. As long as that happens, that trust guard is up and real high!!! | |
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| How many people can admit they have trust issues?
Posted: 11/24/2007 10:44:51 PM | Wow living outside this computer......
You know everyone has a story and an ex... and I think that people want to love again.. They just don't trust.
I try to tell people that I have been hurt also, very bad.. But I want to believe in love again....
It is easy on here to talk to someone and then not go any further.. they are in a comfort zone of there homes... still have some form, of entertainment with the outside world.. But you cant hurt me in here.
How sad is that... another thing, people on here can be anything that you want or they want to be.... and computers don't have personalities.
I have met some wonderful people on here but dating is sure not what it use to be like...I miss those times.... No one has to put up with anything anymore it is easier to walk away then work it out...... Wonder what kind of relationships our kids are going to have, when they see us in this state of mind....... Everything happens for a reason... Good or bad, when one door closes, another one opens...... Let people in...........
Tell me one thing that you miss about being with someone? I miss love taps... You know Love taps on the butt...... Don't you want someone to share your life with again?
You must remember.... I am not your ex and you are not mine... Build that trust slowly but give someone an honest shake..
I hope one day that I will have someone love me again, I am ready to love again.
Life is not measured by the breaths that we take......But the times that take our breaths away.....LOVE ALL WE NEED IS LOVE | |
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| How many people can admit they have trust issues?
Posted: 11/24/2007 11:40:19 PM | Trust look at all of this...trust is just the icing on the cake of what he have become
The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways , but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.
We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.
We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.
We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things.
We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.
These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete...
George Carlin | |
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| How many people can admit they have trust issues?
Posted: 11/25/2007 2:13:16 AM | I agree with you.Everything you said is reasonable answers,but some guys cannot seem to let go.
I meet a guy on this site and a friend that I thought was a friend decided to play head games with the guy I meet and now he dosn't trust me.He thinks I wrote the things.
Even though I told him I did not.I guess that means he really didn't care anyway.
So be careful of what you say or do if you meet WHATAHOOT he is untrusting | |
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| How many people can admit they have trust issues?
Posted: 11/25/2007 2:36:02 AM | | i found out my ex was cheatin on me when i was pregnant with ma 1st son so i split with,after havin my son we got back 2gether. i then had my other son n ma lil girl we were plannin 2 move away but found out that he had been seein another girl. i also found out that she was pregnant with his child so im sorry if i have a trust issue but i think im aloud 2 lol xxxx | |
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| How many people can admit they have trust issues?
Posted: 11/25/2007 4:40:28 AM | | It is hard not to have your guard up. Yet I always try to give everyone a clean slate. When you enter into a relationship with someone new, I think it is only fair that you start off that relationship with 100% trust. It is then in up to that person to keep the trust or lose it. | |
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