| My cheating alcoholic ex-wife
Posted: 9/20/2007 9:34:45 AM | Seems to me that this 'Jerry' is the guy that's paying for your ex-wife's drinks, right? (from what you said that he's always drunk). Maybe that's why he got in the middle of all this, get my point?
I know a drunk person is not rational at all... but if we're talking about a woman with an alcohol problem and a guy that's sharing her same interest in drinking... it's kinda obvious something like this was going to happen.
Thankfully, I'm too young to have problems relating marriage, children and stuff like that... But I also had an episode of a regretful ex-girlfriend (even the reason of why I got to this site a year ago??) and I know it's a tough spot to be in...
Well, you've seen all the advices you got up here! A guy raising 4 children? Good luck with that, man... If there's a will, there's a way!!  . I dont know the states too much (just got here a month ago) but there must be some kind of help for a person raising 4 children, isnt it?
Whatever you do, dont let go. Good job leaving your feelings to your ex-wife aside...
Keep it up and become the greatest father for your children. You know you've just shown us how to be a man with self-respect, right??  .
Best of luck to you, buddy!
Francisco | |
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| My cheating alcoholic ex-wife
Posted: 9/20/2007 9:42:18 AM | | Well I figured it was because he accepted her drinking. I knew him for awhile before this happened and know his last wife threw him out because of his drinking! As far as the kids go YES I will always be there for them because in the end its all you got! I dont want to look back and say I wish!!! I got a good herd of kids and they know that their PA will always love them and do anything for them the biggest thing right now is to get their little heads screwed back on straight after all this mess! And to let them know it wasnt their fault in any way shape or form. | |
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| My cheating alcoholic ex-wife
Posted: 9/20/2007 11:05:54 AM | Quite simply, don't answer the phone. Let her get the answering machine and keep it. It's admissable in court. If you do answer the phone. I'd tell her, sleep with who ever you want. It doesn't bother me. As long as your not trying to sleep with me.
Tell her, things will work out between her and the kids as long as SHE is sober.
When she starts about wanting to get back together. Tell her, "I'm sorry you feel that way." Calmly. With no emotion. Put it right back in her lap.
She's playing games with you, thats why it hurts and makes you upset. By, the sound of it she'll do anything (except stop drinking) to get what SHE wants. She really doesn't give to much of a crap about anyone else. She is trying to have her cake and eat it too. | |
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| My cheating alcoholic ex-wife
Posted: 9/21/2007 8:25:35 AM | | WOOOOOOO HOOOOOO!!! Got my court orders yesterday giving me full custody of my children! She got supervised visits and ordered to a rehab program!Jerry or Skippy as I call him got charged with 2 counts of assault on a minor with a restraining order!Got the condition of the house documented with the court. BUT MOST OF ALL I GOT THOSE KIDS BACK!!!! Skippy called me last night after making bail and said I was gonna pay What an idiot I got it on tape!!! Besides he doesnt have the grit to face me anyway he has proved that 3 times now! She called me with the same old thing about working it out How sad she is grasping at straws now! The next step with her is to try to get my 19 grand back that she took out of my account my lawyer says thats gonna be hard but we are gonna try. I got a long road ahead of us with therapy for the kids which she has to pay for by the way and making sure they feel secure! They asked me last nite if they were ever gonna be able to see their mom again and I told them of course I would never keep her from the kids but there are conditions that she has to abide by untill futher notice! It was just the kids and I for a long time and somehow she got them back we went before the same judge on this case and he could not belive that another judge ruled in her favor but it all worked out in the end! JUSTICE PREVAILS!!! Just takes a longer time when you are a man trying to prove a unfit mom! | |
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| My cheating alcoholic ex-wife
Posted: 9/21/2007 9:33:42 AM | | The fact that justice prevailed . . . you were lucky. I only say that in the event you get dragged back in to court. The only thing I didn't see in this thread was a suggestion to move - not overly practical but the best chance at a clean slate. | |
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| My cheating alcoholic ex-wife
Posted: 9/21/2007 10:29:05 AM |
Skippy called me last night after making bail and said I was gonna pay What an idiot I got it on tape!!! Besides he doesnt have the grit to face me anyway he has proved that 3 times now!
Do be too unguarded, these people dont sound like they are wired right. It would not take any grit to use a weapon or hurt your kids if he believes you "drove him to it." . I hate dealing with potentially unstable people, they are unpredictable and occasionally dangerous.
Good to hear the good guys do win on occasion. | |
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| My cheating alcoholic ex-wife
Posted: 9/21/2007 11:02:46 AM | awww, so great to hear this Hunter! Congratultions mister... it's good to know those kids are gonna be taken care of properly. Good luck with all the rest of it!
Ashdyn | |
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| My cheating alcoholic ex-wife
Posted: 9/21/2007 1:17:12 PM | | Hey Pilot,I know what you are saying unstable people can be a problem But I have been around the block a time or two and can handle myself pretty well.I got a dog and security measures and flood lights to name a few precautions and have thought out the sceniros pretty well and am damn prepared. I was one of those people on 2000 that was prepared for anything if you know what I mean! Dont worry I will watch OUR backs! | |
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| My cheating alcoholic ex-wife
Posted: 9/21/2007 3:52:59 PM | Congratulations! You are going from strength to strength - bully for you!
I am so glad you have a dog, when our animals got slaughtered it seemed a real risk to have animals for the children again - but it gave a lot of reasurance to mine, to see they're mum wasn't going to cave in. It's awful living under seige, I know exactly how stressful that is, especially as a sole parent with frightened children.
If it isn't against your faith/beliefs I would also place on the outside walls of your home Pak Kua these are Chinese octagonal devices with a mirror. With the energy levels you are facing, buy some with curved mirrors if you can - these things are incredibly powerful, they work by reflecting negative energy back to the senders. Don't have them inside your home, and have them above the eye level of your children. If you would like more advice on protection of a spiritual nature, contact me or look up more for yourself. It was against my beliefs at the beginning, but when the chips are down, you consider everything. I hope I haven't offended you.
On managing the home front. I found everything hinged on getting to bed early and the children fed and winding down early in the evenings. I would cook roasts, slice them up and freeze them along with mashed pototo/pumpkin in pre-prepared meal lots - literal life savers. I also packed frozen sandwiches with deli-meat etc and labelled them for variety and repacked them back into the loaf bags.
All of you taking Vitamin B in the mornings will help your stress levels and if taken before 4pm, will help you to get the rest you need. Vit B is a pick me up and can work like caffiene, so don't take it of an evening. Orange oil in burners around the house will sooth you and the children and make things restful.
Many of us here are proud of you, and you aren't alone - again Congratulations! | |
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| My cheating alcoholic ex-wife
Posted: 9/21/2007 5:56:14 PM | Hope, I am not talking over much, I had another thought, depression would be pretty normal right now.
I put up some remedies for that on a thread titled: Suicide?
Hope to God, you never feel that way, but notice besfore my message #64, all the support people had for that man and their sharings of tough times.
I hope you are in contact with a doctor and listening if/she suggests some short term help with what you are going through.
If you are a tea drinker, Earl Grey with real Bergamot - is an anti-depressant; (and Bergamot oil essence).
Remember too that alcohol is a depressant, if the genes run in your family line, chances are nothing to do with will power etc, but chemical intolerance for it. So total abstinence as AA recommend, seems a strong strategy. Take care. | |
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| My cheating alcoholic ex-wife
Posted: 9/21/2007 8:46:10 PM | | DEPRESSED???? HARDLY NOT! I just got my kids back and got rid of a drunk trying to take us down with her! No Not Depressed Bouyant is more like it! Thanks for the kind words though!! | |
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| My cheating alcoholic ex-wife
Posted: 9/28/2007 4:55:17 PM | | I would advise you to be very careful I think something very bad might happen. I don't think she should be allowed to see the children, they really shouldn't be in her presence or her boyfriends either. It is a situation ready to turn very bad. | |
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