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| Are all the guys waiting for the woman to contact them?
Posted: 12/6/2007 4:20:14 PM | I'm not waiting...if I did, I would be a skeleton in cobwebs sitting in front of the computer or if I held my breath...well you know the answer.
I dislike the one-sidedness of who should contact who next; if I quit contacting after my last reply, its because women won't contact me anymore. I take the sudden e-mail silence as let the chase begin!, but I'm not a chaser. So women just give up easily, as there's about a hundred guys that can take my place in a heartbeat in here.
Is it, for you women, let the most aggressive man who pursues you, win? | |
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| Are all the guys waiting for the woman to contact them?
Posted: 12/6/2007 4:26:56 PM | | I would figure most women get a lot of contact from men on the Internet so I generally don't write women just out of the blue. Maybe my perception is wrong but I am so afraid that they get a bunch of wacko email that I don't want to end up chalked up as just another idiot. I am a very unique and individual idiot and would rather have my idiocy explored than thrusting it upon people outside of the forums. | |
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| Are all the guys waiting for the woman to contact them?
Posted: 12/6/2007 4:29:30 PM | short answer: no. ideally it's the man's "job" to contact her first.
maybe there are "woman tricks" like responding to a forum thread or put me to favourite etc. so some ways to make sure that I notice her! | |
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| Are all the guys waiting for the woman to contact them?
Posted: 12/6/2007 4:39:25 PM | | I fired off a few, no replies so I gave up for a bit. Then I fired off a few more with nothing and now I dont even bother. Though I do get the odd motivation to fire one off now and then with something i'd think would be a reply back | |
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| Are all the guys waiting for the woman to contact them?
Posted: 12/6/2007 5:16:50 PM | | I wish the ladies would take note here... seems alot of the guys have gave up on the chase which has no chance of success. Quit complaining about being played by players who are the ones chasing the skirts... you might just have to work on finding the ones that will treat you decent (at least here on POF). Now back to your scheduled program.... | |
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| Are all the guys waiting for the woman to contact them?
Posted: 12/8/2007 4:32:04 AM | I'm not waiting to be contacted.
But I'm not contacting women either. I hear that most women say "no thanks we're not a good match". So, I figure why bother to contact someone just to get rejected. I'm looking for a woman who's into me enough to contact me. So, I let them contact me.
It works perfectly. It's an easy way to weed out women. Instead of reaching out only be rejected. If a woman contacts me, there is probaly more interest on her part than if I contacted a woman. | |
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| Are all the guys waiting for the woman to contact them?
Posted: 12/8/2007 5:38:23 AM | everyone wants to be sought after. good for the ego.
i had a pretty good hit rate since i came back here the other day. sent out 10 or 12, got 5 back. yet to actually chat with a couple of them, but i gave out my msn and got a couple adds, and i got a couple giving up their msn to me (when i offer in first message to give mine out after inital reply) who i've added and yet to chat with.
but i've still yet to have anyone send me an initial contact. but then again, my profile's lame. | |
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| Are all the guys waiting for the woman to contact them?
Posted: 12/8/2007 7:42:49 AM |
Are all the guys waiting for the woman to contact them?
The answer to the question you are asking is most people will default to the behavior that will give them the most satisfaction with the least amount of effort. Some men get contacted a lot, they don't need to send out messages since they have their hands full with the messages they get. Some men get contacted very rarely, they are more aggressive in sending out messages since they want to increase their odds. I think the frustration comes from the latter group as they feel they are expending the most effort for the least amount of return. That's why I think some guys contact heavily in waves or they just give up after a while. It's truly rare to find someone who gets the most satisfaction for the most amount of effort.
The answer to the question you are really asking (i.e. "Why are the guys I am interested in not emailing me" since I've learned women rarely get to the question they are really asking directly and openly....) is the guy just isn't interested in you. Why? I don't know. But if he was, he'd contact you. If he doesn't contact you, you can break it down any way you want, but he's not interested in you. | |
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| Are all the guys waiting for the woman to contact them?
Posted: 12/8/2007 9:13:29 AM | | No, I'm not waiting for anyone to contact me. On the flip side, I have no intentions of contacting anyone here, either. I don't like the choices available in my area, they are just not what I'm looking for. The few I have contacted either never replied, or came back with just a sentence or two (translation=not interested or motivated= waste of time). | |
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| Are all the guys waiting for the woman to contact them?
Posted: 12/8/2007 11:52:32 AM | I make plenty of contacts . .
And, Yes . . I'm waiting for _Replies_ . . . not necessarily First Contacts . .
. . { It's a type of 'Manners Test' . .  } . .
Most of the women that make first contact with me , I find to be ' less than impressive'
We can omly do the best we can with what we have . . | |
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| Are all the guys waiting for the woman to contact them?
Posted: 12/8/2007 11:55:45 AM | I wait, also message people, who seemingly delete my emails .. of well their lose ..
I enjoy looking at the "viewed me" list, but generally get discouraged because all women state that they want to meet a
Family guy
Prince Charming
Someone to sweep them off their feet
But, would take a chance on a rookie..
w. | |
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| Are all the guys waiting for the woman to contact them?
Posted: 12/8/2007 11:59:01 AM | It's refreshing to get emails from women being forward. It lets me know that she like me in some way and I don't have to guess if she does or not. I am go about being myself a bit easier.
You have to remember, if you get no response or emails that go no where that generally mean they aren't interested. Just look at what you do when someone you aren't interested emails you. It's the same thing. | |
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| Are all the guys waiting for the woman to contact them?
Posted: 12/8/2007 1:36:57 PM | Ultimateheartsurgeon, I'd love to disagree with you, but I think you are absolutely right.
But it's more than that. I think men aren't very conscious or systematic about this online thing. Case in point: it says on my profile in large letters that I seriously don't like beards, but I get contacted at least once a day by bearded men who either haven't bothered to read my profile or who think what I want isn't important. I don't know what makes men contact me, but I am pretty sure that it isn't the result of considering my profile. The men I contact (as opposed to the ones I respond to) are not only more appealing to me, they're also more likely to like ME. I'm just better at choosing. But it's not rocket science. I just read the profiles! | |
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| Are all the guys waiting for the woman to contact them?
Posted: 12/8/2007 5:08:37 PM | I'm not waiting one any "one" to contact me. I honestly didn't join the site to find a special person. I came because a friend told me about the site. I think I even selected the "hang out" option on the choices.
I love getting mail, though. Even though I never do. The reason I don't mail others is for many reasons. 1. I don't feel as if we match very well, personality wise. 2. We're looking for very different things I.e me friendship, her relationship. So I don't contact people when I feel that the best outcome of our conversations would be failure.
I've only had 1 person mail me on here, and she got mad at me because she said I didn't reply back to her fast enough. I guess she sets a time limit. | |
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| Are all the guys waiting for the woman to contact them?
Posted: 12/8/2007 7:27:26 PM | | I have made first contact every time. They answer but basically thanking me for contacting them. They neither reject me nor accept me. Once they respond, thats the end. I was not sure if I was doing something wrong myself. I reading this forum trying to figure out the correct way of this on line dating. | |
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| Are all the guys waiting for the woman to contact them?
Posted: 12/8/2007 7:55:40 PM | Both.
Its not the 13th century anymore, we can BOTH initiate contact.
I for one, dont have alot of time to cruse profiles, and im in a pretty small and isolated area, I already know all the girl's in my areas profiles. So, if they want to chat with me, they can. If not. Oh well.
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Ls1
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Joined: 3/26/2007
Msg: 72 | |
| Are all the guys waiting for the woman to contact them?
Posted: 12/8/2007 9:20:32 PM | If you see guy you like ladies don't wait for him, you could be waiting a long time.
Contact him cause you never know......you could be just the gal he's waiting for.
Almost all my relationships over the last several years have been with a woman that contacted me first or even just came up to me and started talking.
and I like it. | |
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