TLC_
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Joined: 1/26/2008
Msg: 26 | |
| your gf and two guys
Posted: 6/29/2008 7:27:10 PM |
a girl you were dating and she wasn't your gf
????? so your just useing her for sex???? shame on you | |
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| your gf and two guys
Posted: 6/29/2008 7:44:00 PM | as a girl, if my boyfriend had done that I'd want to know one thing:
Was it with a girlfriend or was it with 2 random girls he picked up? If it was just random, then ewww but oh well, if it was with a girlfriend that would absolutely be a deal breaker for me. Knowing he could share the woman he supposedly loved, and might want to share me with some other guy some day, I'd run a mile in the opposite direction. | |
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| your gf and two guys
Posted: 6/29/2008 9:27:27 PM |
but seriously, past is past. it was just something she experimented.
same goes with asking about the ppl and how many she slept with before you.
Funny thing about the past. It has a way of predicting the future.
Why is it that when someone does something like this, everyone says, "past is just the past". Yet, if you're talking about cheating, it's "Once a cheater, always a cheater". | |
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| your gf and two guys
Posted: 6/29/2008 9:43:57 PM |
If you found out your girlfriend did two guys at the same time, would this change your feelings for her? Would you still want her for a serious relationship?
My girlfriend was a swinger before we met.
She's done 2 guys at the same time (spit roasts and DP) more than once...
She's also done the MFF thing too...
And a MMFFF a couple of times...
She told me fairly early in our relationship. So I was able to decide whether I was able to deal with it or not...
So I know how I feel about it.
I can safely say, anyone who says they're ok with it , is either full of BS or simply doesn't have the emotional connection to care...
With me, it took a long time to come to terms with it. I'm still not comfortable with what she did. She also regrets what she did. (Which is one of the reasons we're still together - I didn't want to have her repeating the experience down the road)
One thing to consider is that if she did this, then you know she's open to casual sex. That means she doesn't recquire an emotional connection to sleep with a guy. So that means theoretically any guy she likes is a possible to her...
The other thing to consider is, If she's had sex with more than one guy at a time,
are you going to be good enough to satisfy her BY YOURSELF ?????????
Is she going to be satisfied with sex with just one person afterwards..???
Then there's the possible problems if word gets out. Do you want to date a woman that has that kind of reputation? What if family and friends end up knowing. ( Believe me on this, it does happen! )
Further to that, what if you run into those guys??? It's happened that we've run into a couple of guys that she did this with. It wasn't pleasant although they at least didn't brag or talk about it.
Another thing is that, sometimes people do things that seem ok at the time. But years later, as they mature, they can come to deeply regret those choices and in some cases, this leads to depression and low self-esteem. Do you want to deal with that down the road? Also not pleasant... | |
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| your gf and two guys
Posted: 6/30/2008 6:53:18 AM | | My experience with this is if shes that wild then shes probably capable of many things you don't want to know about. If it was just a curious romp that happened once then no big deal. | |
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| your gf and two guys
Posted: 6/30/2008 6:57:21 AM | pics or it didn't happen.
Preferably 300 dpi... for no reason. | |
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| your gf and two guys
Posted: 6/30/2008 12:48:32 PM | | It depends on how much the guy likes you and what his real intentions are. If he just wants you for sex, chances are he will be fine with it. If he is in total love with you he will stick with you. If he has low self esteam he will stand by your side too. | |
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| your gf and two guys
Posted: 6/30/2008 12:55:13 PM | Vancer, HAH! Good one...
People that are in "the lifestyle" (I think that's what it's called) wouldn't think twice about it. Most everyone else probably isn't on a need to know basis unless she's bringing it up to see if you're interested in sharing her.
For most people, that kinda stuff seems aberrant or devious, and is usually best left a fantasy. It just depends on the person. If I were in the initial stages of talking to someone, that wouldn't be the time. If I were a little longer in the relationship and she felt compelled to tell me just to tell me...I'd prolly rather not know.
Then again, if she wanted to invite me into one...heh...nah, that was when I was a kid. | |
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| your gf and two guys
Posted: 7/1/2008 12:35:51 PM | Honestly, It'd be most difficult to get the image of her being tag-teamed by two dudes out of my head.
If she's a wild child like that, I'd pass. I don't need someone who is too loose with their body that they're willing to do such things.
I'd rather not know, especially if it happened long ago. However, if she contracted a disease or something, then yes I'd want to be privy to such information.
If it happened while we're in a relationship, there's no going back, the trust would be out the window completely. It would be over. | |
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| your gf and two guys
Posted: 7/1/2008 12:42:00 PM | | if it happened before i met her, then it's nothing to do with me.. everyone has a history. best to giggle about it and move on to stuff that you both want to do. if anything, i'd be impressed by her openness to try things and thank her for being open enough to tell me. | |
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| your gf and two guys
Posted: 7/1/2008 12:45:02 PM | Nope...NO GO.
I'd dump her the minute I learn about it.
I don't get along with people who take sex lightly.
It's not JUST sex for me, so I look for similar minded people.
And PAST is not PAST either.
Would you date a murderer? a Rapist?
why not?
It's in the past. It was a mistake, he says..
What's the big deal right? riiightttt... | |
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| your gf and two guys
Posted: 7/1/2008 1:18:57 PM | Tricky. I'd always be wondering if she wanted to do it again. Most guys (like me) couldn't handle that. If the 3-way was no big deal and you really like the guy, don't tell him.
PS - you're 43?? Wow. | |
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| your gf and two guys
Posted: 7/1/2008 1:27:54 PM | I like your style, girl. I'd say that in all honesty, 90% of all men are too insecure to handle a girl whose sexuality is on that level. Hell, I'm not even sure if I could deal with is myself, but at least I know that that's totally hypocritical of me.
So here's what I would do, were I dating you. First things first, I'd be impressed that A) you're that kinky and B) that you have enough honesty and openness to actually come out with that. In fact, I might be inclined at first to think that you were just trying to provoke a reaction. But I'd stick it out just as a challenge. I'd probably keep you at arms length until I built a really good connection and was certain that I could trust you, but to me it would just be an interesting challenge.
I'm not like most other guys though. I think a lot of men would feel inadequate in that situation because no matter how great he is in the sack he's still only one guy, you know?
Good luck! | |
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| your gf and two guys
Posted: 7/1/2008 1:35:59 PM |
So here's what I would do, were I dating you. First things first, I'd be impressed that A) you're that kinky and B) that you have enough honesty and openness to actually come out with that. In fact, I might be inclined at first to think that you were just trying to provoke a reaction. But I'd stick it out just as a challenge. I'd probably keep you at arms length until I built a really good connection and was certain that I could trust you, but to me it would just be an interesting challenge.
I'm not like most other guys though. I think a lot of men would feel inadequate in that situation because no matter how great he is in the sack he's still only one guy, you know?
Good luck!
You make it sound as if this is gender-specific.
I'm sure if a guy were to tell his girlfriend that he plowed two random chicks in one night, I don't think she'd jump in his arms and say "You complete me" or anything.
Also, you don't need to knock other people for having a differing opinion than yours.
I think it's a point of concern, especially if she has no qualms about jumping in the sack with any dude and not having an emotional connection to do so. If that's your type, good for you and god bless, but I'd rather have someone who's not so loose as that. | |
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| your gf and two guys
Posted: 7/1/2008 1:47:16 PM |
If you found out your girlfriend did two guys at the same time, would this change your feelings for her? Would you still want her for a serious relationship?
What if it were a girl you were dating and she wasn't your gf yet, would a serious relationship with this girl even be an option in your mind?
With someone that you care about or are heading in that direction, is it a turn on or turn off?
Your thoughts appreciated.
Everyone is different but for me its a deal breaker. That is risky sexual behavior and its something I dont want to be a part of. | |
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| your gf and two guys
Posted: 7/1/2008 1:48:58 PM |
And PAST is not PAST either.
Would you date a murderer? a Rapist?
why not?
It's in the past. It was a mistake, he says..
What's the big deal right? riiightttt...
LMAO!! Yes I love when folks say "the past is the past" just to find out later down the road that history has a nasty neck of repeating itself lol! | |
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| your gf and two guys
Posted: 7/1/2008 2:02:27 PM |
But, the truth is in this society, a man can get away with more than a woman can in terms of sexual activities. I don't think too many people would disagree with this.
Hmmm... it seems like from the responses you've OP most guys wouldn't have a problem with it and there fore I guess a woman can "get away" with just as much as a guy... | |
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| your gf and two guys
Posted: 7/1/2008 4:35:56 PM | | Yes it would change my feelings and no I wouldn't want her as a wife or mother of my children. A play toy? maybe. | |
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| your gf and two guys
Posted: 7/1/2008 10:22:40 PM | would not change my mind at all, if i really liked her that is..atleast you know she is extremely open minded... | |
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| your gf and two guys
Posted: 7/1/2008 10:45:19 PM | Like everyone says.. Past is Past....
but everyone has their own opinion.
What if he was with 2 others girls? How about 3? before you two were even talking.. How would you feel? Would you keep him around?
To each their own.. | |
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| your gf and two guys
Posted: 7/2/2008 7:58:13 AM |
And PAST is not PAST either.
Thats been proven to me over and over, well said! | |
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| your gf and two guys
Posted: 7/2/2008 10:29:54 AM | I'm not knocking anybody, I was just responding to the original post. I didn't read everybody elses advice until afterwards.
But the "you complete me" line made me laugh. The sad thing is, in western society there really is sexual inequity like that. Guys can get away with so much more than women can, it's kind of sad in my opinion. | |
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| your gf and two guys
Posted: 7/2/2008 4:26:48 PM | | I had a an ex who'd done that before we started dating, and honestly, it did really matter. Had no real impact on the relationship that we had. | |
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| your gf and two guys
Posted: 7/2/2008 4:34:10 PM | They did this in a movie already, the greatest movie ever made, "Chasing Amy".
But seriously: this isn't an issue that can be considered in a vacuum. How recently was she being done by two guys? What led to it? Was it something she willingly jumped into recently? If so, this says bad things about her character, and she's out the door. Sorry, I don't want a slut, and I don't share. Ever. For any reason.
On the other end of things, however, was it something she did in the past? Was it just once? Did she decide she didn't like it? Or maybe she liked it then, but has grown past it, and now just acknowledges it as a poor decision in her past?
If that's the case, it's a lot easier to accept. We've all done stupid things in the past; if they're continuously held against us for the rest of our lives, then no one would get anywhere. A once-off in the past is very forgiveable. Repeat behavior of an undesirable kind (such as a woman willingly getting filled out like a job application) is something entirely different. | |
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. And if she didn't I'd break up with her and kick her to the street 
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