| Conversation is a lost art form
Posted: 9/21/2007 10:52:30 PM | iamreal4u - are you the man with his hands on his nipples in the picture or the one beside him? Just wondering.
and from your profile...> "Now don't be critical of my new profile lol, just the same as most that I have seen from the ladies; "
I see you can be critical of women but don't invite the same kind of feedback. That may be a conversation stopper right there. Not being open to other people opinions can shut people down. Listening is an important part of communication. Just a thought.
When meeting someone I like to ask them questions about themselves to keep the converation going. Your profile rambles on and on about yourself. Do you stop and listen to women? Do you ask her questions? Or do you know it all, seen it all, heard it all and just want an audience? When that happens to me, I shut down and just let him ramble. I realize he just want to hear himself go on and on and on and on. More interested in impressing than getting to know me or actually hearing my opinions. | |
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| Conversation is a lost art form
Posted: 9/21/2007 11:07:48 PM | from another forum when converations die on a 1st date.....Rune3
"The main thing that they are bad at at the moment is taking a genuine interest in each other. They don't truly listen to each other or support each other in the conversation but are too self-absorbed and their minds stray very obviously from the other person and what they are saying. If you are genuinely taking an interest in a person, rather than looking for reasons to get back to doing your own thing, then keeping conversation going with the objective of learning more about who they are and how they think and feel should be easy. If you're not genuinely interested in them but made your mind up as soon as you set eyes on them then you can make an early exit but if this keeps happening maybe you should reassess what you're doing." | |
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| Conversation is a lost art form
Posted: 9/22/2007 8:56:29 AM |
It gauls me that generalities about women can be stated so ignorently. Your statement is unfounded and unrealistic. You took my post seriously and it was in fun ; an attempt to lessen your posts derogatory impressions of womens conversations. It was uncalled for.
Lets not make this thread into bashing women...K? It serves no purpose other than you finding some satisfaction in 'stirring the pot'.
Well, fair enough, though I wasn't bashing anyone. I state the truth as I see it and how I have experienced it. Sometimes I'm a bit more blunt than people like. Oh, well.
And, I was merely following suit about generalizing. In fact, I was following YOUR lead.
how we are so brilliant in our abilities to carry on multi conversations, cook supper, vacuum, chew gum, and watch tv all with a baby on our hip. We are a stunning species so overlooked and unappreciated for our multi tasking abilities. You just can't bottle that stuff.
Guess neither of us was seeing the tongue in cheek of the other.
Quissamus mi butticus
^^^^^ Humour? Sarcasm? Personal attack? Just thought I'd better check to make sure....
Pax vobisum | |
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| Conversation is a lost art form
Posted: 9/22/2007 9:02:36 AM | | They say that within 30 seconds, two people decide weather they would sleep with the other person (if they are both single and looking). It could be that the woman's intention is truly to find a love, rather than have a conversation with you. Don't take it personally. | |
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| Conversation is a lost art form
Posted: 9/22/2007 9:12:37 AM |
I read your 2 sentence profile.....very deep and articulate.
Thank you.
You must be new here. I've stated many times in other threads that I can't be bothered dating. I'm sure you will infer something competely erroneous from that statment, but feel free to speculate.
***ever thought of changing your name to Iago lives under a rock?
Ah, yes the inevitable personal barb thrown out to belittle. Bravo.
I am struck and, oh, so deeply hurt.
On topic.... I can actually carry a conversation better than most men or women when I choose to do so. Having said that, though, I find much of what passes for conversation is incessant noise.
My observation that 6 women will have 8 conversations going is accurate. I've seen it many times and been totally amazed by it. Like many men, I just don't see the point in talking for the sake of talking.
Cheers. | |
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| Conversation is a lost art form
Posted: 9/22/2007 9:26:50 AM | I am real,
I can converse with anyone about anything, but most folks you try to email or instant message tend to be gruff or non-responsive for a variety of reasons. I've engaged in a few conversations, even sent emails back and forth, but as soon as you show any signs of intellect or disagree with the flow of conversation everything comes to a halt.
The other thing I find is people don't seem to want to even chat....via emails, IMS or even by phone. I had one gent suggest that we meet the same evening he emailed me, and I was thinking...doesn't he even want to correspond a bit to find out more about me?! I guess it's different perspectives for different people.
We all have expectations on one level or another....but the thing is...if we don't give people a chance how will we ever know if they are likable or not? Most people, I think, including myself, tend to view the pic ( decide if they are physically appealing) than carry on with conversation etc. I'd be interested to see what would happen if a dating site prohibited pictures...so no one could SEE the person, but rather have to READ and digest their profiles and make a choice to chat soley based on a person's description and interests. | |
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| Conversation is a lost art form
Posted: 9/22/2007 9:39:31 AM | A lot of the people that I have met over the past were unable to socialise, interact or make conversation without consuming copious amounts of alcohol. Then they just talked bollocks to be frank.
A lot of people nowadays are too lazy or can't be bothered to make conversation. That or they lack the intelligence to do so. There is nothing that I hate more than meeting someone who claims to be intelligent and talkative but who actually isn't!
I also steer clear of those who say they love to talk. I personally feel that they should state that they love to talk about nothing but themselves, their life, their friends and a load of bollocks as well, because they do!
I find it very difficult to find someone who is able to make and pursue decent and intelligent conversation. | |
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| Conversation is a lost art form
Posted: 9/22/2007 11:49:02 AM | OP You stated
Thoughts anyone? Better yet, start a conversation with me, ...
I have yet to see you post comment on anything that anyone has said about this topic that you started 
;) call me | |
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| Conversation is a lost art form
Posted: 9/22/2007 12:27:39 PM |
Does anyone really know how to talk anymore? Seems like most women advertise good conversation, yet when trying to initiate conversation it seems like there are expectations or hidden agendas lol... I love to talk about anything and everything, which gives the opportunity to later discuss more personal or serious issues without anyone clamming up... you cannot learn how the other person thinks without 2-way chat, and listening goes with this as well. Thoughts anyone? Better yet, start a conversation with me, it doesn't mean I am trying to bed you, just learn about you lol.
Conversation -- and manners -- are both lost arts.
>> Thoughts anyone? Better yet, start a conversation with me, it doesn't mean
>> I am trying to bed you, just learn about you lol.
Really??? I thought that doing that gets the nastiest replies of all, like "We are not a match," "We have nothing in common," or the best "Not interested." When you've asked them something about their profile, that you found interesting -- such as their interest in something such as raising/breeding pugs, which you also may do.
I've met some of the rudest, nastiest, and down-right inhuman people with some of the nicest (Professionally done???) profiles.
Scott | |
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| Conversation is a lost art form
Posted: 9/22/2007 12:55:33 PM | It is the 'written' word that is extremely lacking. Get a person on the phone and see if they are more proficient verbally. Trust me, they are. Another issue can be ones skills on the keyboard; they can't type well.
i do think there is a lack of conversational skills, i know my writing skills are probably better than my oral (let's stay on track here folks) skills, but the reason for that is what's interesting and worth conversation. my take is most people don't find the time to have real conversations, we have evolved into an instant gratification society.
but that is true of letter writing too, when is the last time anyone actually took the time to write a letter? these two arts are dying, and all's the pity. | |
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| Conversation is a lost art form
Posted: 9/22/2007 1:15:52 PM | | I agree with Mojomama - and sometimes I just like to throw in something totally off the wall, just to see if they are listening. | |
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| Conversation is a lost art form
Posted: 9/22/2007 1:22:32 PM | | On first dates men are suppose to talk more. Conversation is a 2 way street. I believe a conversation is possible with just about anyone. Just find something interesting. That is why your suppose to read the profile! | |
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| Conversation is a lost art form
Posted: 9/22/2007 1:34:22 PM | Hey..if you start a conversations with a one-liner, that's what you'll get back from me
But seriously..i agree..the only way to know a person is listening to what they have to say, and it would be nice if a man listened to what i had to say for a change...and remembered the converstaion. | |
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| Conversation is a lost art form
Posted: 9/22/2007 1:59:26 PM | Yes it in fact is a lost art form. Charm, witty banter, and playful sarcasm are lacking with most women. I can attribute this to the quantifiable amounts of dates I've gone on and the conversations turning so generic you might as well be watching reality tv LOL But seriously, it's always the "what do you do" "what do you like" "what are your values" "what books or films do you enjoy" that's all fine and dandy, but at the end of the day it feels more like a glorified interview than a date. I follow the philosophy of FOR.
1) compliment their "faults"
2) get their "opinions"
3) and playfully break the rules (such as "I don't kiss on the first date" and then kiss out of blue kiss them)
Furthermore, I'm not restricted to hobbies and family history for conversation topics. Witty banter is the lost art form that gets the conversation from mediocre to surprisingly refreshing or even insightful even if it's in good fun. You get to arguementative such as politics you might as well get into a fist fight. You come off too charming and it's like you want something. Flirting can be in direct correlation to witty banter provided that person you're on a date with has that playful attitude. Those women I've found are few and far between. The best date I ever went on was playful sarcasm back and forth for the whole day, we went for a walk in the park, a coffeeshop, a restaurant, and ended with a movie. Witty Carrie Bradshaws is what the world needs | |
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| Conversation is a lost art form
Posted: 9/22/2007 5:00:50 PM | Excellent post, OP, though I believe it's not a gender-specific problem, but one accelerated in both sexes in contemporary society.
Why? The reasons are various, but can be summarized succinctly:
We (the collective "we") spend our time "communicating" with illiterate soundbytes on TV, on the computer, on text emails, and on paper-journal infotainment instead of substantive reading, reflecting, and writing. Speech is an extension of those other communicative building blocks, so when we vote for the other preferences amongst the written and visual means, we are giving our values DIRECTLY to inaccuracy, muddled thought, surface reaction instead of discriminatory importance in issues and complexity, bogus interests, inability to even approach mildly original thought, and ultimately the debasement and even disparagement of pretty much anything of worth, enjoyment, and creativity.
Clear thinking develops clear words. Clear words engender clear understanding. Clear understanding creates communication. Clear communication creates at least a CHANCE for civility. | |
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| Conversation is a lost art form
Posted: 9/22/2007 5:12:51 PM |
Good question, and I'm going to have to say the answer is no! It seems the art of conversation is indeed on its way out. I've noticed a strange trend, myself. I'll get a message from a guy. Exchange hellos, and what not. And then he asks, "So what do you want to talk about?"
That pretty much kills it for me. I prefer for conversation to develop more organically, myself, and besides...if you're the one that messaged me, shouldn't you be the one that had some idea of what to talk about? I'm always baffled when someone asks me that question. It's as if they think I was just sitting there, waiting for them to message me.
Thing I find is that when I try to get a conversation going the girl never seems to try to respond to what I say, and when I try to continue on topics that she brings up or talking about her, she doesn't respond to that either. If they even reply, it's often empty and trying to continue the coversation is difficult. And half the time they have nothing to say about what I bring up either.
Mind you I often don't expect people to be able to say anything about sky diving, flying or such as it's difficult to talk about these things as they inevitably become too technical and people lose interest really fast. | |
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| Conversation is a lost art form
Posted: 9/22/2007 5:44:54 PM | | people are afraid w/wasting time; that is why they are so hesitant to get into conversations, they want to find out if ur gonna give them what they want/do what they wany. ....asap. If ur not able or willing then they just want to move on to the next thing and put their effort into someone who can or will give them what they want. | |
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| Conversation is a lost art form
Posted: 9/22/2007 7:35:39 PM | THIS JUST IN FOLKS! Today, while talking in IM, a conversation got lost!! 
Party A, asked Party B if her nipples got hard during sex. This question was asked during discussions on the upcoming provincial elections. At first, Party B wondered if hardening of the nipples was a ploy of the Liberal Party to undermine the Conservatives. Then she wondered if perhaps Party A meant to ask about hardening of the arteries on the part of the Liberal Party and their lack of keeping promises made during our last elections.
However, when Party A continued on the topic of hard nipples and other issues of 'rising' concerns, Party B lost her art of conversation, when her index finger accidently hit the 'block' button.
UPDATE TO THIS STORY - Party B is happy to announce she has found her lost art of conversation, but will no longer discuss the 'ups and downs' of politics!
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| Conversation is a lost art form
Posted: 9/22/2007 8:02:54 PM | After reading all of the replies so far, I compliment all who have answered with a variety of suggestions, opinions and self-describing stories of life experiences -- and after reviewing my own profile again as well, I can see why some of the answers are what they are lol... So, I will redo my own profile and stick with the simplest details, with a nice touch of maturity and humour to boot; feel free to comment further and let's keep on talking!!
P.S. Hello to 'WHAT'S MY NAME AGAIN', and you can call me anytime lol | |
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| Conversation is a lost art form
Posted: 9/22/2007 11:15:34 PM |
I think we should all just give up and talking and just start the loving... wow this LSD is great.
ROTFLMAO ~ hun, that's extacy I think ~ either way, that was damn funny.
~OT~ Good question OP. Well, it appears so by the responses. I don't seem to have this problem. I have many wonderful meaningful conversations throughout my day. Some are professional, some are social, some are of a very personal nature. Maybe the problem isn't in talking or listening, maybe it is the chemistry of the two parties attempting to communicate. I have noticed that so many people are willing to adjust likes/dislikes to actually meet someone that maybe what is lost is the common ground for good conversation. I don't know. I'm blessed with friends who are exceptionally open, bright and most listen and talk (and do so in at the appropriate times even  ) The man in my life is not only open to conversation, he instigates the most wonderful topics and he is a great listener. I have to think it's the people, not the art of conversation. But, that's just me.  | |
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| Conversation is a lost art form
Posted: 9/22/2007 11:24:52 PM | now that would have to be the funniest thing I've read all day
Amazing how many times that happens to me, I'm stumped as to why.
As for the pretty little 19 yr old saying that he doesn't like when people say in their profiles that they like to talk, well maybe it's because you're only 19 love and at this stage in a teenagers life looks are more important to you than brains, you have to expect it in that situation.
I have had comments made to me "wow you haven't said anything about the 7 dresses you're about to buy" or "you don't talk about shopping", well boys there is more to life than shopping and what a person looks like (of course I'm guilty of both at times).
Oh and just so you know yes I can talk about the pros and cons of abortion and quite a lot of other things! | |
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| Conversation is a lost art form
Posted: 9/23/2007 5:30:07 AM | When searching my heart for what I REALLY want in a realtionship...it always comes down to this story.
My sister once told me that the reason she fell in love with her husband and the reason they are still together 23 years later (amid all the strife a marriage can bring) is because he is the only person in her life who truly listens to her when she talks. He actually closes his mouth and hears the words she is saying, in an attempt to understand her. THEN...yes, THEN, he responds and they actually have a diaologue.
She says that it is so satisfying to know that she can talk to him about anything and feels confident that he talks to her about everything on his mind.
THAT is what I want. | |
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| Conversation is a lost art form
Posted: 9/23/2007 5:51:58 AM | anutherchance:
As I said in post #10, "Conversation is not a lost art form, but listening sure seems to be. You have 2 ears and 1 mouth and they should be used proportionately. A note to men: she wants you to listen, actually listen to her and she does not need you to respond with your solution and fix for all of her problems. Listen."
Listening is important, but nobody seemed to see that point. | |
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