| |
| Conversation is a lost art form
Posted: 2/5/2008 12:25:38 PM | Sometime the problem is the rules of the parameters of the subjects that men allow you to talk about. One guy told me he would only talk about sports or politics. If I got off subject, he would remind me that I was breaking the rule. I`ve met several men like this. If you do not converse about topics of interest to them, they want you to shut up and just be pretty. So alot of times, if I see that they are like this, I don`t bother talking, I listen and nod my head alot. They are usually thrilled, think I am great,call me back for a second date, which doesn`t happen.
I have this evil little habit ( and I admit it) of sitting back quietly and watching how long they can go on until they are totally exhausted about the subject. I just smile.Usually they don`t catch on (nor do they care) that they are in a conversation with themselves.
I know women who will talk themselves to death too. | |
|
| Conversation is a lost art form
Posted: 2/6/2008 12:43:02 AM | I know women who will talk themselves to death too.
I don't! I wish there were more of them. Yes, they are gabby to each other, but even after they date a man for a long time, they still are tight lipped, except when they have emotional baggage or issues. At least that has been my experience. | |
|
| Conversation is a lost art form
Posted: 2/6/2008 7:37:44 AM | A guaranteed way to shut down communication with a woman is to tell her that you are not interested in what she is talking about. Or tell her that she is wrong, or stupid or doesn`t make sense, or a myriad of other things told by men to women to get them to "shut up" . It is the widely held view by alot of men that women talk too much and don`t say anything. Women know this. So why open yourself up to insult and injury.
Your safer just letting him do the talking. If you do it once to a woman, guaranteed that will be it. Probably won`t get romantic either. | |
|
| Conversation is a lost art form
Posted: 2/6/2008 4:17:26 PM |
You have to realize that when women say they want a man who is capable of conversation, what they are REALLY saying is that they want a man who will shut up and listen to what THEY are saying. And, even more than that, the more important bit is that they want their man to DO WHAT THEY SAY.
Where did you come by such profound wisdom.
I've known, worked with, and lived with quite a few women since I left home at 17.
The whole conversation thing is great, but have you actually listened to women when they are conversating? Especially when there is a herd of them yapping?
I trust you didn't mean anything derogatory by the word yapping iago
Derogatory? Me? Lil' ol' meeee? Iago? Never!
I'm often sarcastic, occasionally caustic, inflammatory, acerbic, cutting, galling, irascible (though not often, I hope), blunt and I'm even a complete friggin' a-hole once in a blue moon, but I'm NEVER derogatory....
... but, in an effort to make amends, would you prefer "cackling"?
Not a one of them hears a word of what the other is saying. If there are 6 of them around the table, there are 8 completely different conversations going on.
Are you not ignoring all the wonderful practice they get in speaking the english language damnit iago, lighten up a bit man.
Nooooooooooooooo! Heaven Forfend!
NO, I say again. They can practice all they want. I'm all for practice. But, you see, it's the incessent nature of the practice that's difficult to listen to for hours on end. And, when they have perfected the art, usually by the age of 5, can't they stop once in a while? Can't there just be moments when nothing is said? I've met women who like to talk even during sex for goodness sake....
  | |
|
| |
| Conversation is a lost art form
Posted: 2/6/2008 4:31:17 PM |
Spoken like a true introvert. The reason women "yammer" is because they are establishing connections with each other, catching up on the latest news about other people, expressing how they feel about EVERYTHING. It isn't talking just to hear their own voices.
An INTROVERT? That's friggin' funny.
And, you are correct about the talking just to hear their own voices. They (though not ALL, of course) talk because they can't stand being quiet, especially when the hockey game is on.
Yep, women are pretty adept at holding several conversations at once. The reason they can do this is because they can hear and follow several conversations at once. I was amazed when I first noticed this.
They are adept, but only because they practice constantly (as someone else mentioned). You could actually do it yourself, if you tried. *I* can do exactly what you mention. It's a matter of practice. It's not magic. It has nothing to to with any innate ability. It does have to do with what you learn.
There is a Culture of Women which values thinking out loud. Cool. The Culture of Men value communicative economy and communication with purpose.
Neither is wrong or better. But our Greater Culture has decided that the communication that women engage in is more important, valuable and effective than that of men. I have a minor problem with that.
 | |
|
| Conversation is a lost art form
Posted: 2/6/2008 4:55:07 PM |
They (though not ALL, of course) talk because they can't stand being quiet, especially when the hockey game is on.
iago.... shush now, the OHL All Star game is on.
sheesh, what? you only give respect to the NHL??? | |
|
| |
| Conversation is a lost art form
Posted: 2/6/2008 6:07:47 PM | | Yeah, I've heard this complaint alot, and I just don't get it....I always answer the messages sent to me, male or female for friendship and some talk for a bit...then you never hear from them again. Guess I don't fit their "pal" criteria. | |
|
| Conversation is a lost art form
Posted: 2/6/2008 6:10:32 PM | | I think that conversation is a lost art as the trend in our society is that of people all having their own opinion which they feel everybody wants to hear. Is conversation sharing, yes it is. At the same time it involves listening whicch is the lost art as everyone is so concerned with stating their opinion first. | |
|
| Conversation is a lost art form
Posted: 2/6/2008 6:12:01 PM | i need to read back some of this thread, but I think it's is ok for women to talk about sex with men again and again. And it's also ok for women to talk about feelings again and again. MAKE SENSE
GUYS ARE NUTTY
LADIES ARE NUTTY
SO LOVE IT UP | |
|
| Conversation is a lost art form
Posted: 2/9/2008 4:19:08 PM | | Is it just me or is this thread full of people WRITING about conversation, you know, one talks, the other listens, repeat. I think the whole planet has gone to email and IM. Seems nobody talks anymore. | |
|
| |
| Conversation is a lost art form
Posted: 2/12/2008 7:00:50 PM | Listening just doesn't involve the ears....it also includes the eyes and heart.
Tramp wrote:"The art is not lost, it depends on who you are talking with." Bingo! | |
|
| Conversation is a lost art form
Posted: 2/12/2008 7:42:15 PM | Well...
a) This is not a gender issue. Both men and women do this.
b) This is a personality issue.
c) Many people have NO idea how to communicate properly. They either clam up and expect you to carry the entire conversation or they talk non-stop and never give you an opportunity to be a part of the conversation.
d) Too many people are serious interupters...which can force a normally conversationalist to clam up because every time they open their mouth, they are interrupted.
e/f/g/h...the list goes on. | |
|
| Conversation is a lost art form
Posted: 2/12/2008 8:27:31 PM | | i have been in a relationship with that type of communication and it was wonderful..we could sit and talk for hours.i think you just have to meet the right person to be able to disuss things with especially if some of those topics are common interests. | |
|
| Conversation is a lost art form
Posted: 2/12/2008 8:54:26 PM | Are you talking about written conversation? If so, my God write me! I can't believe the abysmal level of communication I encounter on POF emails! Lately I'm thinking it has to do with the general educational level of my age group, the general educational level of my area or the general educational level that a free service like POF attracts. I'm serious! You wouldn't believe the grammar I get in my inbox and this isn't from ESL or LD candidates.
Anyone have suggestions for another dating site that might generate a smidgeon of intelligence? | |
|
| Conversation is a lost art form
Posted: 2/13/2008 3:36:11 AM | Haaaa out of the 100's of people here I have tried to 'chat' with, I can count on 1 hand the people who actually gave as good as they got in regards to conversation...
You say 'hello' to someone, they open the window, and just leave it open.. no response, no questions in return. Often, this window is open for 20 minutes, at this point in time I send a 2nd msg:
"Anyone with any decent education and the most basic of communication skills would know that when a person says 'hello' to you, generally it is understood that that person says 'hello' in return"
Then all of a sudden, you see their little abc thing flashing... at this point I block them. I really can't be bothered with these people.....
Hmmm haaaa then there are the people who can only respond to questions with 3 words or less.... WOW you can only guess how fun these people will be in real life...
(This is almost as bad as a person who actually decided to respond in a decent way, but then fails to ask a question to continue the flow...)
I love the profiles that say 'down to earth' 'up for anything' 'here to chat' etc etc etc, then when you try and say hello, you are either rejected straight away, blocked or just not responded to. Not only is this contradictory, but down right rude...
Yes, conversation IS a lost art form. | |
|
| Conversation is a lost art form
Posted: 2/13/2008 7:02:58 AM | No, I don't think conversation is a lost art. There are plenty of people that are willing to talk about themselves. You know the types...I accomplished this or I succeeded in that, I went to this school, my children are this, my cat is that... yada, yada, yada. Sometimes, my ears are burned off. You have listeners and you have talkers. However, I wished all the talkers would get together. Nah, I guess that wouldn't work. They would have to scream over each other for the attention.
Personally, I'm a good listener and like conversation. If anything, I have a tendency to listen " closely". It would benefit alot of people to do the same, especially the talkers. | |
|
| Conversation is a lost art form
Posted: 2/13/2008 7:19:52 AM |
Anyone have suggestions for another dating site that might generate a smidgeon of intelligence?
There is one called geek2geek...  | |
|
| Conversation is a lost art form
Posted: 2/13/2008 8:03:28 AM | well my problem with a conversation is that i refuse to talk sex period and guys for some stupid reason love to talk about it...my life isn't very eventful so theres not much for me to talk about....and i'm just a quiet person anyway...i don't like talking in detail cause its too much effort to think...
a guy trying to learn a lot about me from a computer yup hes definly up to no good...or trying to convince me to meet him after i stress i don't meet people from the internet.. | |
|
| Conversation is a lost art form
Posted: 2/13/2008 9:36:30 AM | I'd agree that it's a lost art form. But it was never widely practiced to begin with.
Conversation differs from argument, persuasion, interrogation.
Conversation is all about revealing yourself. And allowing another to do so without judgement. To steer the flow of information away from confrontational counter battering and let the inevitable differences settle out.
The loss could stem from our immersion in the opinions of faceless others. Everyone , no matter their stance on any point, is faced with attacks from without-Op-Ed columns, call in radio, internet trolls, TV, film, books-there is always someone on the other side clammoring for you to abandon your viewpoint in favor of their's.
The ramparts are raised; Fields of fire cleared; gambits planned using the esprit d'escalier stock piled from previous encounters.
It's difficult to disagree with a smile and move on; even more so to convince another to follow your lead. | |
|
| Conversation is a lost art form
Posted: 6/18/2008 9:25:05 AM | A woman who wants a man to listen to her?? How unique is that?
But a woman who can actually LISTEN , now there is a rarity. But then, why would
a woman listen when she has so much to say?
Put the shoe on the right foot Brash n sass....some of us men have a lot to say
had you ever considered that??? lol
Bob
ps A converstation is not when two peaple take turns talking about themselves..
the root of conversation,,,,is,,, "Turn plus together"
And THAT would be memorable. | |
|
| |
Home
login 
